How to Kiss a Friend & the Subtle Ways to Get Them to Want to Do It

If you’ve developed a crush on a friend, you’re in difficult territory. Learn how to kiss a friend without risking your years of closeness. 

Sometimes we develop crushes on people who were once off limits. For instance, maybe you’ve been friends with someone for years and then suddenly, you start to see them in a more romantic or even sexual light. You’re keen to find out if they feel the same and you think you should just go in and kiss them – rip off the Band-Aid! Well, it’s one way, that’s for sure. But first, you need to learn how to kiss a friend without messing up, big time!

[Read: How to escape the friend zone – 13 actions that make you desirable]

Know that your friendship may end

Before we start talking seriously about how to kiss a friend, there’s something you should know. If you go ahead and smooch with your friend, there is a distinct possibility that your friendship could end because of it.

Even if they go along with it and they’re not shocked at your move, it could change things between you for a long time, if not forever.

Ask yourself how important this friendship is before you do anything.

Maybe it won’t change anything. Perhaps you’ll go on to establish a fantastic romantic relationship. But, know that you’re taking a risk and in that case, you need to weigh up the chances of it going wrong versus it going right. [Read: Friend zone or interested? 15 hints to decode your crush’s behavior]

Or maybe you’ll get everything you wanted

We don’t like to be negative, so let’s talk about the possibility that it all goes really well. If you have a crush on a friend, simply staying friends with them and watching them date other people could tear you up inside.

Friendship is a special kind of love, but when you cross the line and you start thinking in a romantic manner, it’s very hard to separate things. 

So in that case, learning how to kiss a friend could be the way for you to work into perhaps getting the one thing you want more than anything else.

For sure, you could have a conversation, but maybe a kiss could be a real ice-breaker that moves you two from friend territory to something more? [Read: How to be a friend – The real art of true and meaningful friendships]

How to kiss a friend and avoid embarrassment

There are several ways you can learn how to kiss a friend and you need to tailor it to your specific situation.

You can go for the cheeky drunken kiss, you can talk it out, or you can see how things go in the moment.

But whatever you choose, whether you want to go for a fun-filled night or you actually want to think about a romantic relationship, you need to move carefully.

Here are a few options for how to kiss a friend you might like to think about. [Read: 20 ways to get your friend to like you more and fall in love with you]

1. The “accidental” drunken kiss

This is pretty much the safest way to kiss a friend and get away with it. And let’s face it, more than half the first kisses between friends use this move.

When you’re out with this friend you like or at a party, have a few drinks and wait for the booze to kick in. And once you’re feeling the buzz, use that as the perfect accidental excuse. Try and get the coziest spot next to your friend, preferably an isolated spot. [Read: How to flirt by touch and use subtle body language to seduce anyone]

Start a conversation with your friend and eventually start whispering to your friend. Of course, you’re “drunk,” aren’t you? Whispering into each other’s ears is completely acceptable when you’re high as a kite!

And at some point of the conversation in between all the close facial contact, go right up and kiss your friend.

The kiss may last a while longer if you’ve built a lot of sexual chemistry through all the body contact, but even if your friend’s not drunk, you’d still be able to sneak in a quick kiss if they’re interested as well. [Read: Mutual sexual tension – 44 signs, causes, and secrets to make each other more horny]

Whether it leads to more or not depends on just how attracted your friend is to you, so good luck with that!

2. A cheeky game of Truth or Dare

It doesn’t come easier than this. So if you’re ever trying to figure how to kiss a friend, focus on arranging a drinking game like spin the bottle or truth or dare.

Sometimes, you may get a kiss or a lot more than that. But at other times, you may not always end up lucky and another friend may end up kissing the friend you want to kiss.

But not to worry, if you didn’t get a chance to kiss your friend during the game, just get drunk and go back to step #1! [Read: 87 best truth or dare questions for the wildest, horniest night!]

3. Kiss your friend when they’re consoling you

This is a sneaky move, and it’s another common ploy in getting to kiss a friend. Many people use this, and quite frankly, it works very well.

Have you just lost something of value and need some consoling? Everyone needs a friend they’re down and need consoling, including scheming perverts like you.

So call the friend you like and tell them how *depressed* you are and how much you’d appreciate it if they could come over to your place to cheer you up.

When your friend comes by to your place, snuggle up and hug your friend. Just stay in that position as you mumble your sorry-ass story and explain how depressed you are.

At some point, you’d know that your friend’s pretty comfortable wrapped in your hug too. Now you can linger your hands on their back or go straight for the kiss.

The kiss may last a while, or a few seconds. But it does give you an excuse to try a kiss and if it doesn’t work out, you can blame your sorry emotional state of mind. [Read: How to seduce your friend and get them to have sex with you]

4. How to kiss a friend via text flirting

This is a relatively safe way to kiss your friend. It involves a lot of late-night texts which eventually lead to sizzling sexual chemistry between both of you.

It’s almost always foolproof as long as you take your time and play it cool. It allows you to work out how they might feel about taking things further and you can work out whether that kiss is really a good idea or not. [Read: How to flirt with your friend over text and type your way into their heart]

5. Slowly move out of the friend zone

When you’re firmly in the friend zone, they’re not going to look at you as anything other than a friend. So if you want to work out whether kissing your friend will go well or not, flirting a little and watching their reaction is the way forward.

To move out of the friend zone, you need to get them to look at you as something other than a friend. 

To do that, don’t only flirt but make your romantic situation known, perhaps try changing your look and watching their reaction, and be a little more touchy-feely than you normally would be.

Trying to learn how to kiss a friend without moving out of the friend zone may come over as weird to them, so this step is quite important. [Read: 14 naughty ways to get out of the friend zone in no time]

6. Ask your friend if they want to kiss you

You could just come out and ask them if they want to kiss you. That way, you’ll know for sure! If they seem completely disgusted by the idea, then you could laugh it off and say that you were joking.

At least it offers you a way out, but you do need to act seriously enough when you ask for them to feel comfortable saying “yes” if they want to. [Read: 23 signs he wants to kiss you and how to predict the moment when he’ll try]

7. Suggest a friends with benefits arrangement

This one could be awkward, but you know your friend better than anyone. If you think they would agree to this or at least think about it, you could suggest it.

It’s certainly one way to learn how to kiss a friend and move things on toward something more.

What you do need to realize is that friends with benefits still means friends, it doesn’t mean a relationship. You could move it on from there and use it as a stepping stone, but introducing sex into a friendship can complicate things badly. 

But, if you think you can handle it, you could suggest a friends with benefits situation if both of you are single and feeling a little on the lonely side. [Read: How to ask a guy to be your friend with benefits – 15 steps you MUST follow]

8. Just confess your feelings and tell them what you want

If you really have feelings that are far beyond just wanting to kiss your friend and see what it’s like, why not just come out and tell them?

Yes, you’re taking a risk. In fact, you’re taking a huge risk, but if you feel it’s one worth taking then it’ll definitely give you the answers you seek.

Could it ruin a perfectly good friendship? Yes. But, if you’re not happy just standing around and wondering ‘what if,’ telling your friend that you want to kiss them and why, could be a way to work things out.

Just be prepared for not hearing what you want to hear. [Read: How to tell someone you like them – 18 completely risk-free ways to start dating them]

Times when you shouldn’t kiss a friend

Now that you know the best tips on how to kiss a friend, whether you want to take things further or not, it’s also useful to know the times when you should never really kiss a friend.

1. When they’re being touchy feely

Look, friends can be touchy feely or every flirty at times. But that’s just not enough of a reason to kiss a friend.

Unless the vibes are just right, don’t kiss your friend just because they’re cuddling up or holding your hands. It’s risky and can cost you your friendship and the intimacy. [Read: Are you more than friends already? 17 signs to know for sure]

2. When your friend is sleeping

This is an absolute no-no. As tempting as a sleeping friend can look, you just can’t kiss a friend when they’re asleep even if you’re drunk.

There’s every chance that your friend may wake up and think you’re an absolute pervert! And your other friends will have the same opinion too. Honestly, every single person in the world would think you’re a total pervert. And if you consider this, you should know it’s extremely creepy behavior.

3. When your friend is hungover

This kind of situation may work in a porno flick and it’s a great fantasy too, but it’s just not something you should ever do.

You may be really desperate or may have been looking for an opportunity like this since forever, but just don’t do it.

There are far easier ways, so why bother with this? It’s just really perverse, and you just can’t take advantage of a friend who trusts your company. [Read: 12 simple, effective ways to cure that pesky hangover]

4. When your friend is grieving

Now it’s natural to feel physically and emotionally connected when you’re hugging a grieving friend, but don’t use the closure and take advantage of the situation.

If your friend makes the first move, it’s still a good idea to pass – grief can make you do things you wouldn’t normally do. If your friend just wants a shoulder to lean on at a difficult time, be there for your friend as a friend, not a lusty buddy.

5. When you know they won’t respond well

If you know for sure that kissing your friend is not going to end well and you’re not prepared to lose the friendship, don’t do it. It’s just not worth it.

Go and find someone else to kiss and leave your friend to be simply your friend. Keep the fantasy in your mind. 

[Read: Romantic hug vs friendly hug – How to feel the difference instantly when your friend hugs you]

So the next time you’re wondering how to kiss a friend, look no further. Know that it could end your friendship but that it could also give you everything you want.