How to Have a Threesome: 57 Tips, Signs, Rules & the Best Positions

Are you thinking about having a threesome? They can be fun, but you need to consider a lot of things beforehand in order to make it a good experience for everyone.

A threesome is every guy’s dream sexual fantasy. Of course, the thought entices many girls too. But somehow, for a guy, it’s one of the big things to do on his bucket list.

Every virile single guy desperately wants to have a sexual threesome with two girls at least once in his life.

Have you ever wanted to have a threesome with another guy or a girl?

While a great sex life is carnally gratifying and exhilarating, sometimes we all need a bit of a fetish to keep our jollies up.

And could there be anything more fun than involving a third hottie in bed?

Even if you haven’t succumbed to the lure of a threesome, you have probably given it a thought.

There’s something about a threesome that’s exciting and, at the same time, forbidding.

In the 90s, any talk about sex associated with three people was totally taboo. No one wanted to hear about it. But back in the 70s, it was the rage, what with all the flower power, key parties, swing nights, and the invention of LSD.

But threesome sex is in fashion again. Ass eating and threesomes are the new normal. We’re going back to the shagathons of the Romans, and we’re lovin’ it!

These days, it’s an open affair. Everyone wants to experience life on the wild side. And if you’ve done it already, hopefully, you had a great time!

What threesomes are like?

A threesome, which is also known as a ménage à trois or a three-way, is any kind of sexual activity that involves three consenting adults. It can involve people of any gender. [Read: First time threesome – my sexy accidental threesome while on holiday]

You can have Female-Male-Female, Male-Female-Male, Female-Female-Female, or Male-Male-Male.

Sometimes it’s a monogamous couple who wants to bring in a third person. Other times, it’s three single, consenting individuals who think it would be fun to have group sex.

Why do people set up a threesome?

If you tend to be a little vanilla in your sex life, you might wonder why anyone would like to have a threesome. Well, here are some of the top reasons.

1. The thrill

In most people’s cultures, monogamy is the norm. In other words, you are committed to one person and only have sex with them. 

So, when you add a third person into the bedroom, it can make everyone involved feel a rush of excitement. It’s something that not everyone does, so it makes them feel unique, and they get a physical and psychological thrill from doing it.

2. Exploring options in the bedroom

After you are with someone for a while, sex can get a little boring. Maybe you have always had fantasies about doing different things, but you haven’t done it before. Well, you can do new things in a threesome. [Read: How to spice up the bedroom – 22 tips to set the bed on fire]

You can also explore other options in terms of other people. Having a threesome is a way to get sexual variety with the consent of your partner. Or, if you’re single, you can be with two different people at once, which a lot of people enjoy.

3. Deepening their connection

This might sound counterintuitive, but some couples actually have a threesome to deepen their connection. You might think that it would do nothing but create jealousy and tear them apart. But it doesn’t for a lot of couples.

You see, in their minds, if they can overcome the jealousy and possessiveness that might come along with a threesome, then it’s easier to overcome any hardships in their relationship. They think this might lead to unconditional love. [Read: Emotional connection – 38 signs, secrets and ways to build a real bond]

4. Empowerment

We all know that a lot of emotions – good and bad – can come up when someone has a threesome. So, it’s also worth noting that this is not only a chance to have some physical and sexual fun, but it’s also a chance to conquer your emotional challenges.

If you are a person who wants to overcome jealousy and possessiveness, then having a threesome can empower you to do that. And as a result, you can let go of fear-based emotions in life more easily.

5. Ego boost 

This is a pretty common reason someone would like to have a threesome. Let’s face it – when you have two other people who are sexually interested in you at the same time, it can make you feel pretty good about yourself. [Read: How to stroke a man’s ego and uncover his alpha side when he’s down]

But that isn’t always true for everyone.

For example, if only one partner in a relationship wants the threesome and the other one just gives in, then it can have the opposite effect on their ego. So, there is a fine line on this reason to do a threesome.

Sexual threesomes and the taboo and troubles associated with it

Contrary to popular belief, a sexual threesome isn’t really a bad thing – at least not to some people. 

And if you think it is taboo, that’s probably because society has caged your sexual urges and forced you into believing that doing anything beyond the missionary position makes you a deviant and a fetishist.

The feelings of love are strange and inexplicable. [Read: Male sexual fantasies – 16 top dirty desires every guy has in mind]

And sexual desires, well, they’re just as crazy and unique.

Most partners who hate the idea of sexual threesomes probably do so because they don’t like the idea of sharing their partner with someone else.

Or secondly, they feel really insecure and threatened by the idea that their partner could be sexually attracted to someone other than themselves. Threesomes are confusing affairs unless you’ve got the right mindset. [Read: Having an affair with a married man]

As much as there’s a chance that you’d have a great time, there are a few times when you know nothing’s going to go right.

Sexual interests are to each their own. And if threesomes aren’t for you, don’t worry about it. There are a lot of sex acts to indulge in that could still make sex feel like a horny rollercoaster ride! [Read: The top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime]

What makes a threesome so hot?

All of us have our own sexual threesome fantasies running in our minds every now and then, even though we won’t all talk about it with anyone.

Now, not everyone may share this opinion, but most people do. A threesome is hot because it’s like tasting the forbidden fruit without actually stepping into the forbidden garden.

And watching porn, well, that brings out the darker, deviant sides within us all too. [Read: Why men watch porn and get distracted from their woman?]

Watching porn makes us imagine things more clearly, and especially if you’re watching different kinds of porn while having sex with your lover, it drives your mind crazy and brings all kinds of dirty talking and sexual fantasies to the fore.

A few years into a relationship, things can get quite monotonous. Well, there are other ways to bring back the oomph, but for some, a threesome works just as fine. 

A threesome isn’t for everyone, and however appealing it may seem, it can have its bad impacts unless you’re really ready for it.

Do you really want to have a threesome?

The big question is, do you really want to do this in the first place? You may have a crush on someone else and think a threesome is the best way to have that fling without actually walking out on your mate.

Or let’s just say your man’s friend is staying over at your place, and you’ve always had the hots for him. Trying to have a threesome just to satisfy your sexual needs isn’t really a good reason to do it. 

Instead, you can try dirty talking in bed instead. Of course, carnal pleasure is the most important excuse to have a threesome, but are you doing this at the cost of the relationship?

You can definitely have a threesome, but only if both of you want to do it, to experiment and try new things in bed. 

Never use threesomes as a way to have sex with someone you’ve always wanted. You may end up forgetting that your own lover is naked on the same bed and devote yourself to the other person alone!

What’s your motive?

It is said that men love ménage à trois, a.k.a. threesomes, a lot more than women, but more recently, the balance has been tilting to equal favor, and women are quite open to a fling thing with their mate. [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas that are definitely worth trying with your partner]

But at times, lovers and partners tend to get selfish. They try to push their reluctant partners to have threesome sex when they don’t really want to do it.

It may just be a selfish power trip, trying to convince a partner to do what you want to do. On the other hand, it’s just a way to have an affair without actually coming across a circumstance when the person could get caught. 

If your motive is to have an affair with someone without a guilty conscience, it may not be for you.

A threesome should be about sharing with each other and giving equal priority to all three involved. Agreeing to take part in a threesome to breathe life back into a failing relationship, to bring sexy back in love, or to stop your partner from leaving you, is probably going to backfire.

Would you ever have a sexual threesome?

The thought of having a sexual threesome with someone can be pretty scary, and it’s riddled with insecurities and confusion. What if your partner starts falling in love with the other person? What if twosome sex gets boring after experiencing the high of a sexual threesome?

So many questions… and darn, just one way to find out!

If you ever want to have a threesome with your partner, both of you need to trust each other completely. And you need to use threesome sex as a means to heighten sexual pleasure and experiment in bed, and never as an excuse to get to have sex with someone else you’re attracted to.

If you ever look at threesome sex only as an excuse to make out with someone else without cheating on your own partner, you’re going about it the wrong way. [Read: How to get into a threesome with all the right boundary rules]

Damn, you shouldn’t have done that!

Normally, threesome sex is indulged in by people who are in long-term committed relationships. And normally, problems arise in these kinds of circumstances. 

If you’re still in college, having fun with no steady mate, a threesome could just be a fun time with happy memories.

But when a third person is brought into the long-term relationship, to share the same bed and the same partner you’ve been sharing for so long, things can spiral down. [Read: How to talk dirty during sex – ease into it without feeling awkward]

If you’re having a threesome with a third woman, your partner wouldn’t be able to stop thinking if this is what you actually wanted. To have sex with another girl, using the pretext of a threesome. 

If you’re a guy, and there’s another guy in bed pounding your woman, you may not like this new man who got to have sex with your woman just after a brief talk! Either way, a threesome leaves a lot of room for doubt and sad, sad thoughts.

The clearest signs you’re ready for a threesome

Sometimes, an idea sounds really good in your head. But when the time comes to make your fantasy a reality, some people find that they really aren’t as ready as they thought.

So how do you know that you’re ready for a threesome? Here are the signs to know if both, you and your lover, are ready for one. [Read: MMF threesome sex – 21 secrets to have one without a messy tangle]

1. Boundaries have been established

Whether you’re part of a couple or just three single people, there should be a discussion about boundaries.

There should be no surprises or regrets when you engage in a threesome. So, it’s important to talk to everyone involved about what their personal and sexual boundaries are.

2. You’re emotionally mature

If you’re the kind of person who isn’t very emotionally stable, then you might not want to engage in a threesome. 

You need to be able to control your emotions and not have any outbursts or drama. So, unless you’re level-headed, calm, and cool, maybe you shouldn’t try it. [Read: 20 signs of emotional maturity and traits that reveal a mature mind]

3. You won’t get jealous

This is a tough one because everyone gets jealous from time to time. It’s a normal human emotion. 

So, you have to get honest with yourself and see whether or not you will be jealous if you engage in a threesome. Don’t lie to yourself or talk yourself talk into it *or let your partner talk you into it.* 

4. You won’t be disrespectful

If you’re not emotionally mature and you have the tendency to get jealous, then that will probably lead to some disrespectful behavior.

Whether it’s name-calling or doing anything to violate someone else’s body, you have to be respectful of everyone involved. [Read: What’s a misogynist? 22 red flags that reveal a disrespectful, sexist man]

5. Your partner is willing 

If you’re one-half of a couple and you want to do it, but your partner isn’t interested in having a threesome, then don’t do it.

What’s the point of having this sexual encounter if it will be a pitfall in your relationship? And don’t try to talk them into it, either. That will create a lot of resentment whether they agree to it or not.

Threesome Pop Quiz

Q. Can you do this or think about it when you’re not horny?

A. If you can’t, then give up on the thought. You’re still not ready for it!

Threesome Pop Quiz

Q. Do both of you talk about having threesome sex, or is it just one of you?

A. If it’s just one of you, sorry, you guys still aren’t ready! [Read: Non-monogamy – how to know if you and your partner are ready for it]

How to ask your partner for a threesome

If you have decided that you are ready for a threesome and you are in a relationship, then how do you ask your partner to do it with you?

It’s a sensitive topic. And depending on how adventurous they are, they may or may not be open to the idea or receive the request very positively.

So, here are a few tips.

1. Test the waters first

Before you come right out and ask for a first threesome, you want to try to gauge your partner’s level of comfort with it. So, you can bring it up in a similar way that you would bring up other sensitive topics. You want a discussion rather than “informing” or “telling” them that you want a threesome.

You can ask them questions such as, “have you ever had a threesome?”, “have you ever thought about doing a threesome?”, and “what would it take for you to have one?” [Read: 40 dirty and sexy would you rather questions that’ll make anyone horny]

These are questions that aren’t directly saying you want one, but they allow you to bring up the topic and gauge your partner’s reaction. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship – 16 steps to a better love]

2. Tell them how much you care, and then insert the request

If you are in a monogamous relationship, you can start the conversation by telling your partner how much you love them and love having sex with them.

Then, you can say how you’d like to deepen the intimacy between the two of you. And one of the ways you were thinking you could do that is by having a threesome.

Then you should finish the conversation by telling them again how much your relationship means to you and how much you love your sex life together. This is called the “sandwich technique.” You start with positives, then insert your request, and then end with a positive.

3. Talk it out

If your partner isn’t receptive to the idea of a threesome, that doesn’t mean the conversation is necessarily over. But keep in mind that you can’t force your partner to do something they don’t want to do.

However, if your partner isn’t explaining why they don’t want to have a threesome, then you might try to keep the conversation going.

You can ask them why, but be in a state of mind that is trying to understand them – not manipulating or judging them. Have the attitude of trying to understand their apprehensions.

4. Explain yourself

If your partner isn’t talking about it much, then you should explain why you want to have a threesome. Maybe if they understand your point of view, they will become more receptive to the idea.

But remember, while a threesome sounds exciting to you, they aren’t for everyone. So, if you are considering having one, you need to have a calm, serious talk with your partner to get their full, enthusiastic consent. [Read: How to show empathy and learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

Are threesomes good for relationships?

If you are in a relationship and considering dabbling into a threesome with another person, then you should really consider the pros and cons of doing it. Sure, many couples have fun with it. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t affect your relationship.

Whether the threesome affects your relationship in a positive or negative way is completely up to the individuals in the couple. For some, jealousy and possessiveness are just too much, and they can ruin the relationship forever.

However, for some couples, it can be a positive experience. As long as there is good communication and the two people are friends as well as lovers, then the relationship will be able to survive. [Read: Three-way relationship – how it works and why it isn’t an open invite]

The key is honesty. You need to be honest with yourself and your partner, and they need to do the same with you. 

When jealousy rears its head

Jealousy always affects a couple that’s trying to have a threesome. Insecure thoughts will torment both of you. Especially if sex hasn’t been good for a while but becomes mind-blowing after the arrival of the third person.

“Is my partner not interested in me anymore?” “Am I just a scapegoat stuck in the middle of these two lusty lovers?” “She wants him with us because he’s better looking and has a bigger pen*s than me?” “He’s kissing her a lot more than he’s kissing me, is he falling for her?” 

These are just a few of the innumerable thoughts that can race around both your heads if you involve a third person in your bed. [Read: How to get past jealousy in poly relationships and share love equally]

The worst threesome move

There are many couples who’ve experimented with threesome sex and ended up in other people’s beds behind each other’s backs! There is a good chance that this could happen to you, especially if both of you aren’t physically attracted to each other anymore.

Worse, you may also get to know that your loving mate is actually gay or lesbian or bisexual and used this excuse to hook up on a threesome just to satisfy themselves.

Of course, you’d know that only much later. When your presence is the last thing they want in bed! Or you could fall for a person you’re swinging with. What are you going to do? Break up because you wanted to have a bit more fun in bed?

Finding the third without crowding the bed

If you’re certain that you’re really in love with each other and you’re still having a great sex life, then maybe, just maybe, a threesome could turn out to be a good experiment. So how do you go about it?

To indulge in a successful threesome, you need to know the real rules of threesome sex.

Now there are no hard and fast rules, but a few guidelines can definitely help you in the vetting process. [Read: Tinder threesome – 18 tips to write a couples bio and find the perfect third]

The ground rules of threesome

To actually enact a fantasy like a threesome, you need a third person who’s willing to share the bed with you.

It’s usually preferable to involve someone who’s not a friend or a co-worker. Really, what if your partner and your friend end up meeting often and have sex without you?!

But then again, if it’s trust and safety that you care about while having a threesome, you could use a good friend that you know will not let the word spread. [Read: How to have sex with a friend]

Comfort is the key to a good threesome.

But if you want to make sure it’s a secret that you and your partner take to the grave, take off on a vacation, and find a good looker who’s ready for both of you! [Confession: My first three way experience while on vacation with my girlfriend]

But one word of caution, never ever take someone whom you or your mate works with. The word will spread, and/or the threesome will turn into an affair!

1. In bed with the third person

Now, whenever you’re involving another person in bed with you and your lover, the rules are simple and almost always the same. You can read the rules for swinging to know everything you need to follow while involving a third friend in bed.

2. After the threesome

After you guys orgasm, let’s admit it, things are going to feel weird in bed. There you three are, lying in bed and wondering what next!

If there are just three singles involved, then, by all means, stay back. There can always be another round in a while! But the best thing to do here is split up if there’s a couple involved. The couple stays together, and the single leaves.

For the couple, this is the time to talk about it and cuddle up, especially if it’s the first threesome. If you haven’t realized it already, you’ve just banged another person while your mate was watching! [Read: 21 must-know ways to ask someone for a threesome and join you in bed]

So let your mate know that you’re still in love, and that was just sex. Great sex, of course!

And another word of advice, don’t fall in love with the third person. It can happen. In most cases, it always does. Avoid contacting the third person individually if it’s sex on your mind.

The three main rules of threesomes

Are there any specific rules for having a threesome? Can there ever be one? Of course, there are. A threesome isn’t as simple as it seems. It’s not just the bang-bang followed by scampering.

Threesomes can, at times, emotionally hurt a lot more than an external affair. So, use these three important rules each time you decide to bring in a third mate. [Read: Soft swap – how to warm your partner up to giving swapping partners a try]

Threesome Rule One – Ground rules

Always have ground rules before you enter a threesome to make sure everything goes well. Discuss the sex acts that you are all comfortable performing, be it BDSM, acts geared toward specific kinks, and everything in between.

If you don’t want your man to have penetrative sex with the other woman, let him know that it’s off-limits. 

If you want the third person to leave as soon as the sex is over, let it be told. You may only end up feeling uncomfortable if you close your eyes and open them to see your woman kissing another man.

So whatever pisses you off or makes you feel awkward, apply ground rules and let all interested parties know when things are going overboard, both physically and emotionally. Remember, you do want to have happy times, not frustrated ones, after doing the deed. [Read: Throuple relationship – 27 rules and secrets to a happy romantic threeway]

Threesome Rule Two – Pleasure up

Everyone’s in it for their own pleasure when you’re involved in a ménage à trois. But that doesn’t mean you should finish yourself up and sit down against the bedpost, pouting and sulking about the crowded bed.

Slow your pace and see that all the three involved are excited to be there. Even if your body is over one person, you still have your hands free, don’t you?

Try your best to see that all three of you climax almost together. If you can pull that off, you’ve got the threesome thing going really smoothly! [Read: Unicorn dating – how to find a naughty unicorn and set the right rules]

Threesome Rule Three – Play Safe

This is a good one and one that shouldn’t be overlooked. All three of you may be safe and clean off STDs, but there could be a good chance that one of you could be having a symptom that is in the dormant stage.

You don’t want things to go from good to bad and bad to worse. So while having a threesome, make sure you stock a good pile of condoms by the bedside. Each time the man penetrates another woman, the condoms have to be replaced. 

And if you’re using hands and want to be really safe, restrict one hand to each person’s privates so you don’t play a part in the transmission. There may be no problems in the first place, but prevention is always way better than getting a disease with no cure, right?

The most important tips for a successful threesome

If you and your partner both are eager to have a threesome, you are probably wondering how you can even find the third person and set the whole thing up. Here are the important things you need to consider, as well as tips for having a successful threesome.

1. Articulate what you want

First, you all need to think about what you want and then be very clear about what you’re looking for. Talk about why you want to have a threesome and what type of experience you would like to have.

Remember, there are many different combinations: two girls and a guy, two guys and a girl, all girls, and all guys. Which one do you want to be a part of?  

2. Use dating apps to find a third person

As you will see in the next section, it’s best not to choose a friend or someone you know very well for your threesome. So, it’s best if you find a stranger who is also looking to join the experience.

Dating sites are the perfect way to do this. Create a profile as a couple *if you’re part of one* or a single who is looking for a couple on these app dates. [Read: Tinder threesome – How to write a couple’s bio and meet the perfect third]

3. Communicate your desires and expectations

After you have chosen your third person and before anything takes place, everyone needs to have a good discussion about personal and sexual boundaries while you’re all still sober.

What are everyone’s desires and expectations for the threesome? You want to have a thorough talk about it so everyone is on the same page and there are no surprises. [Read: MFF Threesome – 20 tips, do’s, and don’ts to make sure all three have fun]

28 things to keep in mind before bringing a unicorn into bed

A unicorn or guest star is a term used to refer to a person joining a couple for threesomes and sometimes receiving most of the attention during the act.

All said and done, if you’re ready to have a threesome and you think your partner is too, read these things to keep in mind before getting into a threesome. Of course, you don’t have to memorize them.

Just understanding these pointers will ensure that you don’t make any mistakes that could cost you a perfectly happy relationship with your partner!

1. Don’t pick a friend

Avoid bringing a good friend to bed. The best person to have a threesome with is someone you know well, but preferably someone from another area code or on a vacation spot.

Be straightforward and ask them if they’ve ever hooked up with a couple and if they’re interested in threesomes because you’re looking for a third person.

2. Romantic feelings

Neither threesome partner should have any romantic feelings for the third person involved. It’s just sex. If you really want only a particular person in bed with your partner, you probably have some kind of feelings for them. [Read: Dating a married couple – What you need to know BEFORE dating them]

3. Someone you know well

Avoid involving anyone you know well or have to meet regularly. It’ll just make things a bit awkward if the threesome doesn’t go your way. And additionally, it’ll always make one of the partners feel insecure.

4. Calm down

Drink a glass of alcohol to get rid of the nervousness. But don’t overdo it. [Read: Naughty drinking games to get the sexy mood right]

5. Build the intimacy

When the three of you get together, don’t dive into bed immediately. Spend a while sitting together or having a few drinks. Build intimacy by talking and flirting, as that will make your threesome not end up feeling like an awkward experience with a random stranger.

6. Use protection

You can’t ever be too careful about STDs. Always use just one hand to stimulate each partner and avoid interchanging hands. Keep a lot of condoms nearby, and switch condoms each time there’s a new penetration. Dental dams are a good idea too.

7. No one’s left out

It’s very important that you focus on your partner because they should never feel left out. It’s possible that you could forget your partner or get distracted by the arrival of a new person in bed.

Explore what the two others want and make sure everyone is feeling great. [Read: 30 naughty questions to keep a long-term relationship alive and sexy!]

8. Keep yourself involved

Take the lead and run your hands over the other two people in bed, even if you’re not directly involved or on top of someone else. Don’t kill the mood by appearing bored or sitting back in the corner because the other two are having sex or on top of each other.

9. When one partner leaves the room

Stop whatever you’re doing when one partner leaves the room for any reason at all. Don’t interact sexually with one person, not even a kiss, if one partner leaves to use the toilet.

This is especially important the very first time, and you can always bend this rule later when there’s absolutely no insecurity here. But for starters, it’s the safest way to avoid creating insecurities, especially behind your partner’s back.

10. Penetration

Penetration is always a tricky subject. Speak about it with each other beforehand. But if you’re still unsure, avoid penetration unless you know your partner’s completely fine with the idea.

Of course, this may be unfair for the third person in bed, but you don’t want to break up with your partner because you broke some kind of hidden rule. [Read: Sexy ways to make a long-term relationship feel like a one-night stand!]

11. Don’t leave love bites

Leaving hickies on the third person will piss your partner off. And if you get a love bite from the third person, that’ll irritate your partner too. So just to be safe, avoid any kind of passionate marks of love while having a threesome!

12. Don’t be selfish

Threesomes are more about giving and satisfying the other two people than satisfying yourself. If you want it to go successfully, focus more on the others than on your own needs. 

13. Permission

If you’re not sure something you do would upset your partner, don’t do it. You can always look towards your partner for acknowledgment. [Read: Dating a married couple – what you need to know BEFORE dating them]

Asking for permission from your partner for every single thing you do can kill the mood at times. Set clear boundaries initially with your own partner, and don’t forget them in the heat of the moment.

14. The third person

Giving too much attention to the third person may make your lover feel ignored. It may seem selfish, but if you care about your partner and your own relationship, always make sure you give more attention to your own lover. 

The best way to make the third person feel more involved is by focusing on that person along with your own partner. No one feels left out, and yet, no one feels insecure this way. [Read: 30 dirty would-you-rather questions to understand your partner’s sexual side]

15. Staying in touch

It’s always better if the third person you bring into bed has limited contact with your partner. 

If you’re the guy in the relationship, don’t get too friendly with the girl your girlfriend brings to bed, and vice versa. It’ll help your partner feel more secure, and it’ll also avoid any extramarital affairs in the long run.

16. Orgasms

All three of you have to orgasm together or in quick succession. Once the sexual high starts declining after a few orgasms, the person who’s just had their share of orgasms could get bored quickly and may be less inclined to stay involved with the other two. [Read: Does your wife want to sleep with another guy? – How to go about it]

17. The final orgasm

This may not seem like a big deal right now, but it could definitely turn into a big red flag. If you’re the guy, make sure you finish up the threesome only while penetrating your own lover and not the third person. 

And if you’re the girl and you’ve involved another guy, make sure you end the threesome by having sex with your own lover and not the other guy. 

18. Set the vibe of the bedroom

Part of the fun of having a threesome is not only the sexual act itself but also creating the best environment for it to happen.

Get creative and get some colored lights, candles, music, sex toys, or anything else that would set the right mood for the threesome. If you’re unsure what to buy, you can try visiting your local sex shops to get some ideas. [Read: Sexy bedroom – 24 sex room ideas to make any room look and feel sexy]

19. Check in with each other

You might be having the time of your life and getting lost in the sexual moment, but maybe not everyone is. So, you all should check in and communicate with each other as the threesome goes on. You want to make sure that everyone is having a good time and not losing interest.

20. Make sure everyone feels included

If you’ve never been in a threesome before, then you are used to being with only one person at a time. So, you might not multi-task very easily. Or maybe one or two people have a preference for each other. But you have to make everyone feel included. Because, after all, this is a threesome.

21. Avoid ignoring one person

If you don’t include everyone, then one person will feel ignored. Maybe you are more turned on by the new person because it’s thrilling and exciting. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore your partner.

In fact, that’s the perfect reason why you shouldn’t because that will lead to problems in your relationship with it’s over. [Read: Freaky sex – what it means, myths, and 15 racy ways to get wild in bed]

22. Don’t overstep the boundaries

If you had the discussion of boundaries beforehand *which you should*, then don’t cross them. Just because you want to do a sexual act doesn’t mean that everyone else does. So, you have to constantly be respectful to everyone involved and not violate their limits.

23. Avoid making your partner feel jealous

If you are part of a couple, then you have to be hypersensitive about your partner’s feelings. This is especially true if you are the one who wanted the threesome in the first place.

There will probably be some feelings of jealousy already, so don’t make it worse. Be mindful of all of your actions and words.

24. Pick a safe word

Everyone has their own limits of what they enjoy and what they don’t. So, when you are having your pre-threesome discussion about what your boundaries are, then you should also agree on a safe word.

A safe word is a word that, as soon as someone says it, everyone immediately needs to stop what they’re doing. [Read: Meaning of safe words and how to use them when you’re playing rough]

25. Consider logistics

Where are you going to have the threesome? At one of your houses? Or a neutral place like a hotel room? How will you get back home if you are the single person? Are people allowed to bring their favorite toys or lube? Get all the logistics nailed out before you attempt your threesome, so you are prepared.

26. The third person shouldn’t sleep over

This is a pretty standard rule unless the three of you share a good bond already and don’t feel threatened romantically.

The third person’s role here is to always ensure that they never come across as a threat to the couple’s relationship.

27. The next morning 

Yes, the three of you have had sex with each other the whole night. But if you’ve involved someone of the opposite sex in bed the earlier night, keep some distance from them after the threesome is over.

Don’t cuddle up more with the third person or spend more time talking to them than with your partner *even if you’re excited and eager to make out with them at that moment*.

Let your partner know that nothing’s changed and that you still want and desire your partner more than any other person. [Read: The sexiest types of sex you can have in your lifetime!]

Just because you’ve had sex with a third person doesn’t give you any reason to ignore your long-term partner and cuddle up with the third person or pillow talk with them! 

28. Nothing is ever too trivial to talk about

This is seriously the simplest but also the biggest rule to remember. Making too many rules can kill the mood but talking about each other’s feelings and doubts won’t. 

Speak with each other, and if even the smallest thought nags your mind, discuss it with your partner. Remember, nothing is ever trivial here. And when you finally do decide to take the plunge, make sure you really are ready for it. [Read: The most important open relationship rules that can give you a better love life]

The best threesome sex positions you can try

Now that you know all the rules of a threesome, you also need to know some of the positions to try. Here are some of the most popular ones.

1. The triangle

This position is best for F-M-F threesomes. Person A (M) should get down on his hands and knees and pleasure person B (F) in front of him. Person C (F) should get down on her hands and knees and start giving the man a blowjob. 

Then, person B (F) should also give person C (F) oral as well. It works best if everyone is resting their heads on another person’s thigh. [Read: The 24 best threesome sex positions for all combos of men and women]

2. 69 plus 1

One woman should lie on her back, and the second woman should get on top of her, just like a normal 69 position. In this position, both women are pleasured, while the guy will be able to penetrate either one of them from behind. You can also rotate and focus on exploring all of your bodies.

3. Shared oral

For the shared oral position, two of the partners should lie on their backs next to each other while the third person goes down on them.

The people who are receiving the oral can use their hands on each other while they are waiting their turn for oral. You can also make one or both of them wait to build anticipation. 

4. Shower pleasure

If you have access to a big shower, this position can be fun. Go in the shower and take turns getting each other soapy and wet. Everyone should take turns being the center of attention. Let all of your hands and mouths explore as much as possible. [Read: Shower sex – 18 sexy bathroom secrets get wet, make love, and not slip]

5. Oral-penetrative train

Both women should be on their knees with one in front of the other. They should be holding onto something to steady themselves. The man penetrates them from the back, and the other girl gets oral sex or fingered by the girl the man is entering doggy style. 

6. Three-way spoon

For this position, all of you will have to be coordinated and also cooperate well with each other. First, lay on your sides and get into the spooning position. Two people should penetrate the person in front of them *either vaginally or anally*. Then, slowly thrust together in unison.

7. Double cowgirl

The man should lie on his back with the two women on top of him. Both of them have the option to face each other and make out. One of the women rides the man’s penis, and the other one kneels over his face as he gives her oral. This allows the man to please both women at the same time while getting pleasured himself. [Read: The devil’s three-way – how to master the devil’s threesome]

The most important tip to remember

If you and your partner have set clear ground rules and boundaries before entering into a threesome, don’t overstep those rules in the heat of the moment for any reason.

Sometimes, rules can feel like chores. But by following these rules, or at least keeping them in your mind, you can subconsciously try to avoid any threats to the relationship while making your partner feel more loved and sexier at the same time.

If you want to enjoy a really good threesome, continue to indulge in it now and then, and make sure both of you feel more secure and in love with each other, it is very important that you learn to be empathetic and follow every one of these rules.

Do it right, and this will be your first step into a world of beautiful orgasms, new lovers, and the wildest sex life you can imagine, all while staying happy and secure in your own twosome relationship.

[Read: Untold sex secrets that can change your life!]

So, are you ready for your sexy threesome? It can be fun and exciting. And it can also increase the sizzle in bed, just as long as you understand how to have a threesome—from start to finish, and follow the right threesome rules to play a safe game.