How to Create Sexual Tension with a Guy Around Him & Over Text

When you think a guy is hot and lust after him, it’s natural to want to get him to think about sex. So, here’s how to create sexual tension with a guy.

For some guys, they’re so overconfident they think every girl wants them to make a move. For others, they have absolutely no clue when a girl even likes them. They’re both really frustrating but clueless guys are probably even more difficult to deal with than cocky ones. Which means you’ll want to know how to create sexual tension with a guy so he’ll actually make a move.

Because otherwise, how will he know? If you like a guy who’s really unaware that he should make a move, you need to thicken the air between the two of you so he gets the hint. But that’s not quite as easy as it sounds.

What is sexual tension?

You probably know the feeling – getting those butterflies in your stomach when you are with someone you like. Well, it’s not just a feeling or thought that goes on in your head. It is an actual biological thing that happens.

When you are feeling those sexy feelings, your body is releasing a rush of oxytocin all over your body. This causes you to flush and get excited towards another person. [Read: 20 strong signs of sexual tension to know you make each other horny]

It’s that feeling in between you and someone you’re attracted to – the kind where you could just “use a knife to cut the tension” because it’s so strong. And that feeling of desire makes you want to jump their bones.

Sexual tension is important when you are trying to establish a romantic relationship with someone. Because, let’s face it, you want to be physically attracted to the person you date, right?

But believe it or not, sexual tension isn’t just limited to physical attraction. Sure, you find them good-looking, and their physical traits very appealing.

There is also something called intellectual or mental attraction, too. With this type, you find yourself getting turned on by how they can carry on a conversation with you. You might find their mind absolutely fascinating. Or you think you have so much in common and have a strong connection.

As you can see, “sexual tension” can exist on a number of different levels, not just the physical. [Read: What causes sexual tension? What exactly does it feel like?]

Why are some guys just so completely clueless?

There are very few men who can tell when a woman likes him and the exact moment he should make a move. A large majority of guys have been told to wait for permission and they thought that means to wait until a woman tells them what to do.

While they always need permission, it doesn’t have to be as obvious as that. So these guys don’t actually know how to read the signs that a girl wants him to make a move.

Instead, they sit back and wait for her to tell him, which doesn’t often happen. [Read: How to show a guy you actually like him while still being a tease]

How to create sexual tension with a guy so he’ll make a move already

One way to get a guy to realize you want him to plant one on you is to create sexual tension. When there’s tension between the two of you, he’ll start looking at you in a sexual manner and, when you want him to make that move, that’s exactly what you need.

When he sees that you’ve made a point to draw him in sexually, he’ll understand what you want him to do. But making that sexual tension grow naturally can be a little difficult. Luckily, we can help.

1. Close the distance between the two of you

You need to get close. Sexual tension can’t be created from far away. You need to be able to get close and really build a bubble around the two of you.

So just scoot up closer to him. If you’re sitting too far apart, make up an excuse and get closer.

This can most easily be done if you just get up to use the restroom and come back to sit right next to him. It’s not as noticeable and you’ll be able to get a lot closer than if you just scooted over a bit. [Read: How to get a shy guy to like you and ask you out]

2. Turn on your flirtatious charm

Flirting is essential. If you’re not even flirting with someone, how can you show them you like them? A guy needs to know you’re into him and the best way for that is flirting.

Once he sees that you’re trying to flirt, that sexual tension with skyrocket. It’ll be like a switch turning on.

Sit close and start making some flirty moves and he’ll definitely sense that you want him to go for it. [Read: The 30 best subtle, obvious and very sexy flirting moves for girls]

3. Draw attention to your lips

Your lips are more powerful than you think. If you can get a guy thinking about your lips, he’ll think about kissing you. When he’s thinking about kissing you, the sexual tension will increase significantly.

You can do this easily by biting your lip or even just touching your lips casually while resting your hand near your face. No matter how he starts thinking about your lips, it’ll be enough to create sexual tension. [Read: Why lip biting is scientifically really sexy to any guy]

4. Laugh at his jokes

Guys love to think they’re funny. If they notice you laughing at their jokes, they’ll think you like them. And when they think you like them, they’ll immediately start thinking about you in a more intimate way.

Those thoughts will automatically change his behavior to be more sensual. He’ll start leaning in closer, flirting with you a lot more, and eventually, it’ll lead to him making a move.

5. Lower your voice

Not only does lowering the pitch of your voice increase the sexual tension but being quieter does, too. It gives the space between you a sensual vibe and requires him to move in closer to hear you.

When he’s that close to you and you’re speaking in such a low voice, it thickens the air with that sexual tension and he’ll make a move in no time. [Read: 33 ways to seduce a guy who’s not yet yours and hook him hard and deep]

6. Initiate physical contact

Touching someone in a suggestive way will definitely make them start looking at you sexually. If you just can’t seem to get a guy to understand you want him to make a move through flirting or any other means, touch him.

You can easily make this sexy by subtly sliding your hand over his thigh when he makes a joke. This placement is really forward and it’s a move that should definitely be in your arsenal if you want to know how to create sexual tension with a guy.

7. Flaunt what you’ve got

Guys are very visual.

If you want to get that sexual tension rippling through the air, show a little skin. You don’t have to dress provocatively to do this, though. Just unbutton the top of your blouse, hike your dress or skirt up a little bit when you sit, and show them what you’ve got.

When they get sight of all you have, they’ll definitely want to make a move. [Read: How to get your boobs noticed without looking trashy]

8. Give him a compliment that feeds their ego

Compliments go a long way, especially with guys. Give him a compliment that’s a little sexier and will play right into his ego. Mentioning that he has amazing lips is one way to get sexual tension built.

9. Let the naughtier jokes out

It’s okay to let your naughty side out if you want a guy to make a move. You just want to be careful not to take it so far he thinks you just hop into bed with everyone.

Make a “that’s what she said,” joke and give him a wink. He’ll take that suggestive behavior and understand that you totally want him to make a move. [Read: How to make a guy horny and rock hard just by sitting next to him]

10. Confess your feelings

If you actually like the guy, tell him. It can be as easy as saying, “I really like you,” after he just made you laugh from a joke.

It’s simple, but it’s a great way to know how to create sexual tension with a guy. Sometimes all he needs is the hint that you like him and he’ll go for you. [Read: 15 sweet ways to tell a guy you like him and win him over]

11. Lean in and whisper something in his ear

This is a very flirty, very sexy trick to create sexual tension.

Not only does feeling your warm breath on his ear perk up all his sexual senses, but that maneuver is fairly obvious that you totally want him to make a move. [Read: How to get any guy to kiss you when you want him to]

12. Just make the move yourself

Some guys just won’t pick up on any clues. Unless you want to come right out and tell him to kiss you, you might have to just go for it yourself.

So give these tips a try and if they don’t work, lean in yourself and plant one on him! [Read: How to kiss a guy for the first time and turn him on]

How to create sexual tension with a guy over text

Now that you know how to create sexual tension with a guy when you’re hanging out with him, let’s talk about how to create it when you’re texting him.

But first, let’s distinguish between “sexting” and “creating sexual tension,” because a lot of people confuse the two of them. They are very similar, but not being able to tell the difference could affect the outcome that you want.

Sexting is a direct, overt sexual exchange between two people over text. It’s sexually descriptive. It’s usually done when people are horny, and they can send naughty pictures or videos of themselves too.

In other words, they are “having sex” over text, without actually having sex. [Read: 16 signs of sexual tension between co-workers that can’t be hidden]

On the other hand, building sexual tension is different. This is what you want to do before you sext with someone. It happens in the earlier stages of knowing someone, when you’re still getting to know each other. You are building anticipation for a sexual encounter. Is it more indirect than sexting.

Now that we know the difference, let’s discuss how to create sexual tension over text.

1. Make sure there are mutual feelings of connection

Sexual tension can only be built when you know the other person is feeling it too. You can throw something flirty out there, sort of as a bait. And then wait and see if they grab the bait you are putting out.

You want to do this first because you don’t want to make someone uncomfortable if they don’t feel the same way toward you. So, pay close attention to their response.

If they come back with something flirty themselves, then you have a green light to proceed. [Read: Handling belligerent sexual tension with someone you really like]

2. Start small and light

Start off the text normally, just asking how they are or how their day went. There shouldn’t be any pressure or expectations. This will help you figure out if this is a good time to start building sexual tension.

The reason you should do this is because you don’t want to catch them at work or with their grandma. That would be very awkward! So, make sure you figure out whether it’s a good time to start your sexy conversation.

3. Tease them a little with your language

Depending on how well you know someone, you have to determine how direct or indirect you will be with your language.

If you know them pretty well, you could say something like, “I wonder how your lips feel” or “Are you a good kisser?”

These statements will get them thinking, even if they haven’t thought about kissing you. Teasing them with these kinds of statements will get them wondering what it would be like to kiss you too! [Read: 40 flirty text messages to send a guy and leave him craving for more]

4. Ask them questions

You can ask non-personal questions such as, “Do you think Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had a good sex life?” or “Who are you top 3 celebrities that you would do in an instant?”

Asking these kinds of questions will get them thinking about sex, but not necessarily with you.

This is a good way to test the waters without coming right out and declaring your lust for them. [Read: How to flirt with a guy over text – Everything you ever need to know]

5. Pay attention to their responses

If you throw out something flirty, like a compliment, and their responses are short and/or they take a long time to respond, then that’s not a good sign. You will want to slow down or stop in the moment.

You can ask them open-ended questions. See how they respond to that too. If they answer with a “yes” or “no” or something that doesn’t take a lot of thought, then they may not be that interested.

An interested person will mirror you and go with the flow of where you want to head.

[Read: 110+ dirty and sexy questions to ask a guy and subtly seduce him]

Knowing how to create sexual tension with a guy is something women should learn how to do properly. If you want a guy to make a move and see you as more than a friend, follow these tips.