How to Be a Flirty Guy: 22 Gentlemanly Flirting Tips that’ll Make Girls Love You

Flirting is more than pickup lines, it’s respect and gentlemanliness. Master these 22 flirting tips and learn how to be a flirty guy that women love.

Flirting is fun and exciting, but it can be intimidating, too. Women love being flirted with, but it can easily be a turn-off if the guy is coming off too strong, awkward, or disrespectful. Being a flirty guy is more than using cheap pickup lines, it’s about owning your confidence and making the girl you’re flirting with feel special.

The truth is, flirting comes naturally for some, and not so naturally for others. If you’re having a difficult time getting your flirt on, it might be because you’re overthinking things.

If you’re looking for a rulebook for flirting, you won’t find one. Everyone flirts differently. But not to fear, we have the best flirting tips and secrets that will help you learn how to be a flirty guy that women will love.

Why it’s beneficial to be a flirty guy

Mastering the art of flirting means you know the right things to say to make a girl feel special and become interested in you. You don’t make things awkward, you communicate using body language, and you can easily pick up on social cues. The most important part is that flirting is subtle *when done right, of course.*

Not only does being a flirty guy make the girl you’re pursuing feel attractive and cared for, but it benefits you as well. You get to own your confidence and gentlemanliness, while not taking yourself too seriously.

In the end, flirting is all about having fun in the moment and working your charm. These 22 tips will help you do just that!

How not to be a flirty guy

Before we discuss tips and secrets to becoming a flirty guy, it’s important that we go over common mistakes men make when it comes to being flirty. Below are 4 things you should avoid doing when flirting.

1. No overconfidence

Confidence is key when it comes to flirting, but you don’t want to come off as full of yourself. Talking too much about yourself and not extending the attention to your date is sure to let her know you’re only interested in yourself.

Don’t assume you already know everything about your date, stay intrigued and ask her questions. If she compliments you, be sure to thank her and return the favor.

If you are being overconfident, it will come off as being cocky. Be sure to find the right balance of confidence to master the art of flirting. [Read: How to avoid appearing cocky when talking to people]

2. Don’t ask personal questions

If you are wanting to be a flirty guy, the last thing you want to do is make a woman feel uncomfortable by pressuring her to talk about her personal life. Avoid diving too deep too fast, and stick to fun topics she can enjoy talking about.

3. Avoid too much touching

Do not excessively touch your date, especially if this is someone you are still getting to know. Too much touching isn’t flirty, it’s a red flag.

Always ask your date before you go in for any hugs, handholding, or prolonged touching to ensure you are not touching her inappropriately. This shows respect and is an important part of learning how to be a flirty guy.

4. Don’t feel entitled

Your date is her own person and she has a right to talk to you or not. Don’t feel that you are entitled to her time. She may not be interested, or maybe she just had a bad day. If you are rejected, be polite about it.

A real man can handle rejection without getting angry or bitter. If you approach her with the right attitude, the chances she’ll want to engage with you will only go up. [Read: The right way to approach a girl and impress her immediately]

The easiest ways to flirt like a real gentleman

No matter the setting, good flirting has the same basic elements. By following these tips, you’ll find that most women will be open and receptive to you.

1. You can’t win if you don’t play

Most guys have some level of shyness when it comes to approaching women. Fear of rejection is a powerful emotion, therefore it’s important to learn to overcome it.

If you approach a woman in a polite and respectful way, there’s not much chance of an outright rejection. You’ve just got to build up a bit of courage and go for it. Courage and confidence are essential to learning how to be a flirty guy. [Read: 20 ways to kick your shyness to the curb]

2. Make yourself presentable

If you are pursuing a girl, be sure to dress the part. Looking presentable is essential when making a good first impression. Don’t skip the haircut, wear clothes that compliment your body, and take care of your hygiene.

Women are attracted to men who take care of themselves because it shows he is well adjusted, confident, and comfortable in his own skin.

And let’s face it, when you look good, you feel good. And feeling good about yourself is just the kind of confidence you need when being a flirt. [Read: How to dress to impress any girl]

3. Draw attention to your lips

Drawing attention to your lips goes hand-in-hand with making yourself presentable. Not only should you dress well, but you should keep up with your beauty and hygiene.

Apply chapstick to your lips to keep them moisturized when needed. This will enhance your features and keep your lips on your date’s mind all night. By doing this, you’re sure to draw attention to your lips and make them look all the more kissable!

4. Master the smile

To be a flirty guy, you need to know how to flirt using body language. So, master your smile!

There’s nothing wrong with practicing your smile in the mirror. There is a lot of subtlety in smiling, and if you can get a few different smiles down, you’ll do well for yourself.

Remember, there’s no one right way to do it. Your smile can be shy, confident, mysterious, or any number of other styles. Find out what works for you in a given situation and use it. Smiling at a woman is sure to let her know you’re a flirty guy.

5. Keep eye contact

The best way to catch a woman’s attention and find out if she’s interested in you is through eye contact. Don’t stare for too long, and after a few meetings of the eyes, it’s time to stop ogling and start talking.

There’s a fine line here between smooth eye contact and creepy eye contact. To stay on the right side of that line, smile when your eyes meet. [Read: Discreet eye contact flirting moves you can use easily]

6. The approach

After exchanging smiles and repeated eye contact, it’s time to make your approach. Be sure to do so with a conversation starter in mind. After all, you are initiating the approach, so you shouldn’t expect her to carry the conversation immediately.

Being a flirty guy means you can follow the natural flow of your surroundings and keep it casual and fun. This is not the time to use a pickup line or stand in front of her awkwardly and speechless.

If this is a woman you’ve never met before, don’t forget to introduce yourself and ask for her name! Use your confidence and charm to keep the conversation going from there. [Read: How to talk to girls and leave them swooning over you]

7. Compliment her

Giving a woman a compliment is the easiest way to make her feel special. But, it isn’t advised to be too forward with your compliments, as you might make her uncomfortable. There are subtle ways to compliment a woman without coming off as creepy.

When giving a compliment, prioritize complimenting aspects of her personality before you compliment her physical features. Let her know you find her humor to be charming, or that her laugh is cute.

If you want to compliment her physical features, it’s safest to compliment the features on her that she can change, e.g. her hair, clothing, jewelry, and makeup. This lets her know that her style is attractive and her effort didn’t go unnoticed. [Read: 53 flirty compliments to give a girl that will make her blush ]

8. Learn to listen

As stated before, one of the biggest mistakes men make when talking to women is talking too much, specifically about themselves. You should not do more than half of the talking.

To avoid this, ask questions and listen to her answers. This shows her that you’re interested in what she has to say and it will boost her confidence as well. Be sure to ask follow-up questions and reference what she said earlier to show that you were listening. If you follow this tip, the conversation should naturally flow between the two of you.

9. Create some mystery

If you are too busy talking about yourself with her, chances are she will leave uninterested in learning more about you because you’ve already told her all there is to know. Don’t be afraid to keep some information unknown.

By coming off as mysterious, women will be engaged and left wanting to know more about you. Leaving some things up to the imagination is a great way to build tension and keep a girl hooked on you.

However, be sure that you are going about it properly, and aren’t just leaving all of her questions unanswered. Be mysteriously attractive – not quiet and unavailable. [Read: How to be mysterious and leave a girl craving for more]

10. Make ever-so-light contact

Don’t be afraid to lightly touch her if the mood calls for it. Obviously, this needs to be done in an appropriate and respectful way.

Knowing how to be a flirty guy means you’re capable of reading her body language as well. If you touch her hand or lean in to close some distance, make sure she reciprocates the flirtation.

You can ask about a ring or bracelet, and go to touch her hand. Perhaps you’re sitting side by side, you can let your leg touch hers. If you’re walking through a crowd, try to take her arm to lead the way. [Read: 28 subtle ways to touch a girl and make her want more]

11. Show interest

This is one of the most important parts of flirting, but it is also one that most guys get wrong. Showing interest in a woman isn’t just about listening to her, it’s about being engaged in the conversation too.

Let her know you’re interested in what she is saying by maintaining eye contact and not interrupting her. Avoid looking away at TVs, your phone, or other people. Keep the focus on her and she’ll stay focused on you.

12. Make her feel comfortable

If the girl you’re flirting with isn’t comfortable, not much flirting will be going on. There are a few ways you can ensure your date is comfortable and that you don’t creep her away.

First, make sure that you are in the proper place at the proper time to be flirting. After you have done that, be sure that you are using a light and playful tone. This is the time to be having fun, not the time to be having a serious or invasive discussion.

If you respect her boundaries and take things slow, she is sure to feel more comfortable around you. Knowing how to be a flirty guy is all about reading social cues and building confidence between you and the girl.

13. Use humor

Women gravitate towards men who have a good sense of humor, so don’t hold back if you’re trying to make a girl laugh!

Humor allows you to be more bold and more forward than you otherwise could be. Slightly suggestive jokes are great for building tension and letting her know you’re interested in her *as long as they’re not creepy*. [Read: How to make a girl smile, laugh, and like you instantly]

14. Set up the follow-up

There’s nothing worse than connecting with a girl, and then her friends dragging her away before you had the opportunity to ask her out or get her phone number. Plan a follow-up early on and you’ll be able to get together with her later.

There are a few easy ways to do this. You can invite her to an event you both are interested in like a concert. You can bring up a shared interest and ask if she’d like to talk more about it sometime. Or if you talked about a cuisine, tell her you know a great restaurant for it and ask if she’d like to go with you. [Read: 16 casual first date ideas that are perfect for a dreamy fun date]

15. Keep smiling

The smile before you approach is important, but even more so is to keep smiling once you’re talking. Nothing kills a flirting conversation faster than looking serious or bored. Stay engaged, keep it light, and smile.

16. Ignore her a little

Along with being mysterious, try pulling yourself away at times to keep a bit of distance between the two of you. Not only will this keep her wanting more, but it will let her know you aren’t desperate or needy.

Be sure to do so playfully, and not to outright ghost her. You will want to keep her entertained without giving yourself up completely to her.

17. Take the lead on making plans

If you’re wanting to know how to be a flirty guy, make sure that you are confident and decisive in your decisions. If you’re trying to schedule a date, you should always have a few bars, restaurants, or other date ideas up your sleeve and ready to use. Most women like a man who is decisive about things like this.

Picking something different than where most other guys would take her is always a good move. But the important thing is to propose a specific place. Asking if she’d like to go for Mexican food sometimes is less effective than inviting her to the great taco place you know.

18. Be confident and all the rest will follow

Having confidence is one of the key components of becoming a flirty guy. We know it’s easier said than done, but it can be done. If you’re not someone who naturally carries themselves with confidence, that’s okay. Fake it until you make it!

Use confident body language, such as good posture and eye contact. Initiate conversations and let her know you’re interested in her. Don’t be afraid to playfully tease or humor her. Whatever makes you feel confident, go with it! Play into your confidence and soon enough, you won’t have to fake it. [Read: How to be confident when flirting the right way]

Knowing when to be flirty and when not to be

The key to knowing when to flirt and when not to is to read the room. Assess the space you’re in and determine whether it is appropriate to approach her. If it is, and she seems open to your company, then you’ve done well!

Paying attention to her body language and tone of voice can help you determine if you should persist with flirting or if she is uninterested.

If she is turned towards you, looks you in the eyes, and has a light and playful tone, then let the flirt continue! Just be sure you’re not pushing any boundaries. [Read: 20 signs she’s flirting with you even if she’s trying to be subtle]

However, if she doesn’t reciprocate your flirtatious advances, has her body closed or angled away from you, and isn’t contributing to the conversation, then it’s time to step back. Simply thank her for talking to you and occupy yourself somewhere else.

Give it a go!

Flirting isn’t too difficult once you know the basic elements of it. After you overcome the fear of rejection, you’re most of the way there. Be polite, be respectful, and it will all fall into place. And most importantly, have fun. If you enjoy yourself during your conversation, then she will too.

[Read: 30 traits women look for in a man to fall hard for him]

Just keep these flirting tips in mind and you will learn how to become a flirty guy that women love in no time. Best of all, you’ll see that as your confidence builds, it only gets easier!