Have a Daddy Kink? What You Need to Look For in a Daddy Dominant

You’re into age play and would love to have a fulfill your daddy kink. But how do you find the right daddy for you in the kink community?

When it comes to kinks, age play and the daddy kink are usually misunderstood. People assume if you’re looking for a “Daddy,” you have personal issues with your own father and are looking for a father-type figure in your intimate relationship. Listen, when it comes to kinks, people have them for all different reasons, not necessarily related to their real father-daughter relationship.

But first, let’s get a couple of things out of the way about what a Daddy Dom really is. A Daddy Dom, though is a daddy, is firstly a dominant. The “daddy” is a subcategory he chooses to live his life as within the dominance/submissive kink.

Now, there’s one major thing that needs to be cleared up. A Daddy Dom isn’t someone who’s interested in incest or pedophilia. Rather, a Daddy Dom is someone who likes to be called “Daddy,” while his submissive is called “girl” or “little girl.” It’s not very often you’ll find a Daddy Dom who calls their submissive “daughter.”

[Read: The kink list: 20 freaky fetishes that aren’t weird at all]

The 12 characteristics to look for in your daddy kink

Once you get past the rumors and misconceptions, you see it’s basically a dominant/submissive relationship between two consenting adults. So, what should you look for in a Daddy Dom?

It’s time to satiate your daddy kink and find yourself a daddy.

#1 He has sexual experience. Now, you can always have a Daddy who doesn’t have any sexual experience with his specific kink. Usually, if you’re new to this, it’s best to be with someone who has this kink experience. That way, you can learn the rules of this kink properly. A skilled dominant is always a good option. [Read: The step-by-step guide to start role playing with your partner]

#2 You’re sexually compatible. Having a daddy is great, but you need to also make sure you’re sexually compatible. He may check off everything from this list, but when it comes to the bedroom, there’s no chemistry. Make sure you’re both on the same page with your sexual interests and needs. [Read: The scary signs of sexual incompatibility and how to beat it together]

#3 He has life experience. Whether it’s a daddy-boy or daddy-girl relationship, they’ve been around for ages. Ideally, you want your daddy to have some life experience. If you’re in a gay, lesbian, or straight daddy-girl/boy relationship, your dominant will be able to share their experiences with you and help guide you through life.

#4 You have great conversations together. Yes, your Daddy Dom is someone who’s going to protect you, and guide you through life, but he’s also someone you can talk to. And it’s not as though the conversation is forced. You can stay on the phone for hours or sit together on the couch discussing world events. There’s more than just a sexual element.

#5 He takes care of you. I don’t mean he pays your bills and buys you expensive clothing. Of course, if he also does that, that’s also fine. But a Daddy Dom should be someone who cares about your well-being. He makes sure you’re okay and is naturally a caretaker. He wants to make sure you’re safe.

#6 He’s emotionally mature. You’re looking for a Daddy, not someone who throws a tantrum when the barista at Starbucks spells their name wrong on their to-go cup. When looking for a Daddy, talk to him, see what his experience has been like with other girls/boys, and just talk to him. Get a sense of his emotional maturity, and if it’s at a level you need it to be. [Read: When does a man emotionally mature? The 13 signs he’s grown a real pair]

#7 He’s a reliable person. You want a Daddy Dom who’s going to be there for you when he says he’s going to. A Daddy Dom is someone who will address your needs and be a rock in your life. If you need something, he’ll be there for you. 

#8 You see each other as friends. Being in a daddy-boy/girl relationship is more than just having someone protect and care for you. This is someone you see yourself being friends with and vice versa. On the one hand, you two can be kinky together in the bedroom, and on the other hand, you can share your personal life with him and have his guidance and support.

#9 You feel safe. When you’re around him, you’re not thinking about whether or not he’s going to screw you over. In his presence, you feel safe and secure. A Daddy Dom should be someone you see as providing you the safe space you need.  

#10 He pushes you forward. Sometimes, we get tired and want to give up. It happens to the best of us; life isn’t a walk in the park. Your Daddy Dom should encourage you to keep going and be your support when times are rough.

#11 He has his life together. A Daddy Dom isn’t someone who doesn’t know how to hold down a job longer than a week and lives in his parent’s house. No, a Daddy Dom is an independent person who has, generally, a stable life. He’s grounded, and he knows who he is and what he wants. [Read: 20 characteristics of a good man that make him desirable and reliable]

#12 He doesn’t overdo it as a Daddy Dom. Sometimes, Daddy Doms get a little too invested in their role and overdo it. It’s never healthy to overplay any role in the kink community, including the Daddy Dom. You do not want to form a codependent relationship with your Daddy. If you’re noticing it’s becoming a bit much, talk about it with them.

[Read: Your guide to building a healthy relationship]

If you’re interested in the daddy kink, it can be a great experience. But make sure you find the right daddy for you first.