Hate Fuck: What It Is, 23 Signs & Ways Hate Sex Might Be Beneficial to You

Maybe the idea of a hate fuck seems a little bit harsh, but there’s a time and a place you to channel your aggression into your favorite physical activity.

There are a lot of different ways you can have sex with someone. You can even call it different things depending on how you actually do it. The one type of sex many people engage in without even knowing it is called a hate fuck.

If you’re not sure what hate fucking is, don’t worry! Many people don’t know what this type of sex is or why they do it.

Regardless of what the name sounds like, it’s not necessarily about having sex with someone you hate. It’s an emotional outlet that, in some cases, can be useful and also yields some great sex! [Read: Primal ways to have angry sex and do it right!]

What is a hate fuck?

The reason people are often mistaken when it comes to hate fucking is that the word “hate” is involved. A hate fuck is basically another way to say angry sex.

Essentially, when you hate fuck someone, you’re getting out all your rage toward them via sex. It’s an outlet for your passionate dislike for them or something they did. Maybe your partner really angered you and you can’t put into words how it makes you feel. In that case, a good old hate fuck might get all of that out!

Of course, it’s not a good sign if it’s the only type of sex you tend to have with your partner. If that happens to be the case, you might have some serious issues to sort out. [Read: Aggressive sex – wild ways to do it right if you like it rough]

Why do people like to hate fuck?

The idea of hate fucking is ironic and complicated.

If you’re so angry with your partner that you’re feelings are close to hatred, why in the world would you want to fuck them? Wouldn’t you want to just get away from them?

Feelings like anger can actually have aphrodisiacal qualities. High-adrenaline emotions have a tendency to increase testosterone, which is directly linked to sexual arousal. Especially when you’re in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to see how your body could translate the tension that way. [Read: Naughty sex – 17 wild & playful moves to excite anyone and go crazy in bed]

Aside from the body’s natural response, a lot of people enjoy hate fucking because it allows you to release some of the aggression you’re feeling in a way that makes your body feel good. Hate fucking is typically more aggressive than run-of-the-mill sex, so you get to use your partner as a way to physically exert some of your feelings.

Different types of sex

There isn’t only one single way to have sex with someone, and we’re not talking about just positions. When you’re in certain mindsets, you have different types of sex. [Read: Hate sex – the rules to make love with hate and enjoy it]

Making love is a form of sex that involves intense emotional connection. There’s a sense of desperation to be close to each other that’s heightened by passion.

Pity sex happens out of pity, of course. This is when you have sex with someone either because you feel sorry for them or maybe you’ve held out on your partner for too long, and you finally give in and just do it.

There are endless ways to have sex, honestly. Revenge sex. Makeup sex. Breakup sex. Bored sex. Rebound sex.

Of course, you should be mindful of having negative types of sex on a regular basis because it could indicate a deeper issue. Overall, different types of sex can help you release pent-up emotions. [Read: The hottest types of sex you can ever have]

Signs of a hate fuck

Believe it or not, this kind of sex can actually be very good for you. While you might not think that sex of a negative variety could do you any favors, this kind can.

Let’s check out a few clear signs of hate fucking. [Read: How to have no strings attached sex and make it work]

1. You’re emotionally detached

When you hate fuck, there is very little emotion involved besides hate. You don’t feel very emotionally invested in the act or the person. You just feel aggressive, angry, and turned on.

2. It’s rough

If you hate fuck, it’s not going to be very slow and sensual. In fact, it’s often fast, rough, and rowdy. This type of sex isn’t the kind you can sit back and enjoy calmly. You will be heavily involved in the act and working hard. [Read: Ways to take your sex life from vanilla to OMFG!]

3. It’s selfish sex

Hate fucking is extremely selfish. All you’re worried about is getting yourself off. You don’t care if the other person has a good time. It’s all about you and having your needs met.

4. There tends to be animalistic behavior

Hate is such a powerful feeling that it often brings out our animalistic side, especially when you add sex to the mix. Hate fucking is primal. [Read: Reasons why animalistic sex is so hot]

5. You may act out of character and do things you normally wouldn’t

The difference between this kind of sex over other types is that you’ll end up doing things that aren’t what you normally do. You’ll get a little friskier, take more risks, and even engage in something you never thought you would.

6. A hate fuck is ridiculously satisfying

Hate fucking produces a different type of satisfaction compared to your regular sex. Not only are you satisfied because you were sexually fulfilled, but you’re also satisfied because you got to release at least a little bit of the rage you were holding in. [Read: How to have satisfying sex every time]

7. You feel exhausted afterward

You’ll be completely exhausted, both physically and mentally. Having such hatred for someone and then taking it out on them is sure to leave you tired afterward. Hate fucking tends to be way more physical than average sex, so you’ll definitely get a workout.

How exactly can hate fucking be beneficial?

This type of sex can be good for you in moderation. Whether you’re feeling hatred toward a person or a situation, sometimes it’s difficult to know what to do with such intense emotions. Hate fucks are here to help.

1. A hate fuck reduces stress

Hate can wind you up and make you feel extremely stressed or tense. The great thing about having a good hate fuck is that you’ll get rid of that easily. You’ll be relieved and stress-free afterward, thanks to the endorphins that are released. [Read: Less stress and other benefits of sex]

2. It gets your aggression out

We all have aggressive tendencies from time to time. When you can have a good hate fuck with someone you despise at that moment, it gets rid of all of that. Because you can be quite aggressive during it, you won’t have those aggressive tendencies as often.

However, do remember that there’s a difference between aggressive and abusive. Don’t overstep the mark.

3. It opens you up to new experiences in the bedroom

When you’re getting hot and heavy with someone you’re annoyed with, it’ll bring out a different side of you. You’ll be more open to trying new things and having different experiences in the bedroom. [Read: 20 new things to try in bed at least once]

4. You’ll find new things you like in bed

This is probably the best benefit of hate fucking. You may find new things you like. There’s always something in the bedroom that we’ve never tried before. When you hate fuck, it’ll bring about new opportunities to try things that you may end up loving.

5. You can release your frustrations

Tension and frustration run high. If you have to engage with the person that you’re annoyed with often, you may just want to hate fuck them. Get rid of it. It’ll release your frustrations with them so that you can get back to your normal self.

6. The pleasure is often heightened

Hate is a powerful emotion. Some say it can be even more powerful than love. If you think having sex with someone you’re in love with is good, add in the animosity of hate and frustration. You have a recipe for some of the most intense pleasure you’ll ever feel. [Read: 17 ways to make sex more pleasurable]

7. There are no ties

Some may think this isn’t a good thing. However, when you hate fuck, you’re focusing on yourself. You’re more in tune with what you want, and you don’t really think about the other person.

8. It costs less than going to the gym!

All in all, this may not seem like the most important benefit, but it’s definitely on the list. When you hate fuck, you’re putting a lot of effort and intensity into it. This makes your body work harder, and you can bet you’ll be sweating and breathing heavily afterward.

When is a hate fuck acceptable?

There’s definitely a time and a place for a hate fuck. It’s not an everyday type of sex that’s good for everyone. It’s important to know how to tell when it is or isn’t okay. [Read: Sexual compatibility – 47 signs to tell if you’re incompatible & ways to fix it]

1. When you both consent to it

Whoever you’re hate fucking absolutely has to be okay with it. They have to be okay with the act itself and the aggression that comes with it.

Make sure that your romp partner is on board with everything you’re doing and that you don’t cross any lines just to satisfy yourself. [Read: Meaning of safe words & how to use them when you’re playing rough]

2. When you’re both angry

A hate fuck is best utilized when you’re both angry. This way, you both have the chance to get rid of some of your aggressive feelings equally. The shared anger will make the hate fuck more intense and satisfying for both parties.

Cons of a hate fuck

Hate fucking has a lot of negativity connected to it, which clearly means that there are some serious downsides. There are potential disasters that come with most types of sex, but you should tread more carefully with this particular type of sex.

1. It doesn’t resolve any issues

Hate sex should NOT be used to manage conflict. It definitely helps to let go of some of your hatred and anger, but it shouldn’t be the sole therapy used. [Read: How to resolve conflict – the 15 best ways to cut out the drama]

Use the closeness of hate fucking to minimize some of the tension so that you can address whatever issues you have afterward.

2. It can get out of control

It’s easy to let yourself get carried away by your emotions and extremely important to be mindful when another person is involved. Hate fucking is built for releasing frustrations and anger, but you should be careful not to take it out on your partner too heavily.

Only get as physical as they’re comfortable with. You should never be rougher just because it’s what you want.

3. It’s just a transfer of your arousal

Because anger releases extra testosterone, which increases arousal, you’re really only fucking in that moment because it’s what your body is telling you it needs. [Read: Mutual sexual tension – 44 signs, causes, & secrets to get hornier]

Since arousal and anger can be similarly received by your body, it can be difficult for your body to know that you’re just angry and not that you need to cum.

4. It can make hatred seem acceptable

One of the issues with hate fucking is that, since sex is a consensual act, it makes hate seem consensual. You might start to think that your anger is okay since you get to have this great sex because of it, but that’s not true.

It’s like rewarding negative behavior. While hate fucking is okay on occasion, you can’t maintain the permanent mindset that bad feelings get you good things.

5. It can give you false hope

Maybe you and your partner have had a huge, earth-shattering fight. It’s been days since you really spoke, and the air is filled with horrible tension. [Read: How to communicate with your spouse without resentment or fighting]

If you all of a sudden find yourselves in bed together having such intense sex, you might think that this is a sign of repair when maybe it isn’t.

6. It could just make you feel awful

Hate fucking is a lot. It’s a lot of aggression. It’s a lot of misplaced anger. It can be a lot of degrading behavior and words. At the end of it, you might end up feeling horrible rather than better.

That’s especially true if you thought that it might be a means of mending the tension only to find out that your partner is still as angry and full of hatred as they were to begin with.

Some people might say having this type of sex isn’t the best. With all of these benefits of having a good hate fuck session, we have to disagree.

The next time you’re stressed out or angry with your partner, bash it out with a good hate fuck. As long as they’re down for it, too, it could be beneficial for both of you.