Guys & Casual Relationships: Why They Like It & What They Want From It

Dating covers a huge range of different definitions. The key is understanding so you’re not left confused. So, what does casual dating mean to a guy?

What does a casual relationship mean to a guy? Most women ask this question when they’re with a guy who doesn’t want to commit. It’s a frustrating situation, one that leaves you wondering what on earth is going on and whether he truly likes you or not. It’s enjoy to drive you crazy.

For a guy, casual dating basically means it’s not serious. Yep, it’s that simple!

Remember, guys are not as complex as women. Guys don’t overthink and overanalyze – they are what they are.

You could argue that this way of thinking makes dating far easier, because you know where you stand. Everything is transparent. Unfortunately, it’s not the case!

One guy’s idea of a casual relationship will be different from the next guy. So on and so on. You came here wanting a clear answer, didn’t you? Well, sorry, but nothing in the world of dating is ever totally clear!

We’re all different and have different takes on situations and general terms. Having said that, you can do your best to learn the general “guidelines” and use that to help you if you feel stuck. [Read: What is a casual relationship – Why people like it and the 20 must-know rules to avoid heartbreak]

What do YOU want in a relationship?

What do you want from a relationship? It is important to understand this clearly.

The reason? Because if you are in a casual relationship with a guy and what we tell you isn’t what you want, it’s time to leave.

You can’t stick around and hope for him to change, or perhaps think he’s going to fall so totally in love that he’ll want the same things as you. You have to know from the get-go.

It’s that simple.

The bottom line — dating is hard, and it’s so full of twists, turns, and misunderstandings. It’s hard to imagine how so many people have ended up in successful marriages and long-term relationships! [Read: Relationship facts – The real facts of love no one talks about]

The good news is that it can and does work. You just need to be clear in terms of what you want, and find someone who wants the same thing. When you know what you want, you don’t waste your time on situations that don’t fit in with that vision.

Sounds easy, right? [Read: Important new relationship boundaries you should be talking about]

What exactly is a casual relationship?

Before we get onto what this whole casual relationship thing means to a guy, let’s pinpoint what a casual relationship actually is in reality.

A casual relationship can be exclusive or not. This totally depends on the two people involved. It is also simply that two people who like to spend time together, and are doing so, without any pressure or label on that relationship.

It’s not even a solid relationship, and more a friendship with benefits. [Read: 24 ways to start a friends with benefits relationship and keep them sex-happy]

That is how most guys see casual relationships — friendships with certain sexual benefits.

Of course, some casual relationships can be a little deeper than that with feelings involved, but the main theme throughout this type of arrangement is that there is no firm partner label. Things have not reached that stage. Also, there is no expectation that they will or won’t.

Now, casual dating is a perfectly fine and acceptable way to enjoy spending time with someone, provided both members of that relationship are on the same page, i.e. they’re both happy with being casual and not serious. If one partner wants a little more, there can be problems.

Casual relationships don’t usually have strong feelings attached to them. While the two involved may care about each other, there isn’t love.

When one person starts to catch serious feelings, the relationship either needs to move onto the next level naturally, or it needs to end.

But then again, it’s not unusual for people in casual relationships to want more and end up being hurt in the long run.

However, it is possible for two people to start in a casual relationship and then things progress to something more serious. It all depends upon the two people involved. [Read: How long should you casually date someone before things can get serious?]

So, what does a casual relationship mean to a guy?

We cannot generalize here, because every guy is different. On the whole, a casual relationship is a non-serious arrangement to spend time with someone they like. Sex is quite often involved, probably 99.9% of the time.

Again, that’s a perfectly fine arrangement if both parties are happy with it and don’t want progression. The problem arises when the status of the relationship isn’t defined or communicated.

As a woman, I’ve been in more than one dating situation when I thought something was happening, and it turned out not to be.

For instance, I thought a casual relationship I was in was actually heading towards something more serious.

I believed that the casual relationship stage was just the initial stages of dating, and it would naturally evolve. It never did. I hung on for way too long and wasted far too much of my precious time and tears.

It turned out that the guy only ever wanted the casual side of things and never had any intention for anything more. [Read: Why do guys only want to hook up with me? And all you want is a boyfriend!]

Why do guys want casual relationships?

Not all do. Some guys are quite open about the fact they want things to progress but they’re happy to go slow. That’s not a casual relationship, that’s just slow dating.

However, many guys want a casual relationship because they just don’t want anything more at that stage. They’re either not ready, they don’t want another relationship because they’ve been hurt before, or they’re just scared of commitment/totally against it.

There’s no issue in any of that as long as they’re open and honest with you from the start and that you take it at face value.

If you’re happy to go along with it and you don’t want anything serious either, a casual relationship can be a great way to enjoy spending time with someone and usually have great sex in the process. [Read: Commitment phobia – 15 signs you’re just not ready to commit]

Getting hurt in a casual relationship

Despite all of the sugar-coating, can you see how someone could easily get hurt in this kind of situation? Communication is key.

Take your conversation at face value. It’s no good thinking, “oh, maybe he’ll fall in love with me eventually.”

If he’s told you that he does not want a relationship at all, believe him. You’re a wonderful human being and of course, it’s possible he would fall in love with you but if a relationship isn’t what he wants, no amount of wonderful is going to change his mind. Guys are stubborn like that. [Read: How to make your hookup miss you – 26 pros, cons and steps you need to follow to hook them]

To a guy, a casual relationship is about getting all the major perks of having a girlfriend or boyfriend, without adding commitment to the recipe.

Some guys don’t like commitment, just like some girls don’t. When the “C” word comes into the equation, many run for the hills. Sometimes a guy is in a casual relationship that is clearly more serious, but he just doesn’t want to admit it and put a label on it.

We said guys aren’t complex, but I’ll also take my statement back! All humans are complex! [Read: 16 signs your hookup has feelings for you… and you just want a fling!]

Are casual relationships healthy?

In many cases, yes, a casual relationship can be extremely healthy for both partners involved, if they’re both sure they want the same thing.

If they need some time after a serious relationship and aren’t ready for a commitment, but they also don’t want to spend time alone, this type of arrangement can be very rewarding.

Both partners get someone to go to events with, someone to go out with at the weekends, someone to have sex with *possibly*, and someone to talk to. But there’s no pressure of commitment. This can be extremely refreshing and freeing for many. It’s a personal choice.

On the other hand, there are an equal number of people who don’t find the right amount of security in a casual relationship.

If the relationship isn’t exclusive *because there is no 100% rule in these types of relationships* then some people may start to feel cheated on, when in reality they’re not being cheated on at all. That’s when the waters become muddy, confusion seeps in, and all manner of hurt and distress happens. [Read: 16 well-hidden signs you’re not the only one your casual partner is having sex with]

Remember, communication is key

Communication is a vital part of a casual relationship. It’s the only way you’ll 100% know what a casual relationship means to your guy. We’re all different, after all!

Of course, many serious relationships are born from casual relationships. If you watch Hollywood rom-coms, you’ll see endless stories about friends who became more.

But never go into a casual relationship with any type of expectation. If it happens for you, great. If it doesn’t, you had a good time. That’s the best way to look at it. [Read: 17 sordid signs you’re just a hookup and nothing more to him]

Does a casual relationship with a guy mean that he can go out and sow his wild oats? Basically, have his cake and eat it? In some cases, yes, and in some cases, no. A conversation is the only way you’ll ever really know!

[Read: 25 hurt-free rules to date casually and make sure you don’t get attached or heartbroken]

What does a casual relationship mean to a guy? It means he has someone by his side, without a commitment, without a label, and without pressure.