Girl Refuses to Give a Blowjob: The Top 13 Reasons & How to Fix It

If a girl refuses to give a blowjob, there is normally a reason why. It might be she just doesn’t like them, but either way, it’s her choice.

A lot of things confuse men when it comes to having sex with a woman. Aside from not knowing the location of specific parts of a woman’s body, they also have trouble understanding why a girl refuses to give a blowjob. The reason is not something that can easily be discussed, but we’re here to do that for you.

If you look at the most common pattern of sexual intercourse today, oral sex is usually a given.

Foreplay can start by exploring different parts of each other’s body, but it almost always ends with oral sex.

The assumption is that all girls are willing to give their partners blowjobs, but that is absolutely not the case!

[Read: How to get a blowjob – 14 things You MUST do if you want a girl to enjoy giving you head]

Blowjob or no blowjob – It’s her choice

A lot of women do not want to give their partners a blowjob. Their reason should not be an issue for anyone. Their bodies are their own and their decision should be respected by any man who wants to be with them.

No matter which way you look at it, a woman should be given the right to control what happens to her body. If they do not want to give a guy a blowjob, it should be their prerogative. They should not be made to feel bad about not doing it, which is something that a lot of men do these days.

So, if a girl refuses to give a blowjob, simply accept the fact and don’t question it. [Read: Being sex positive – Why this matters and why you need to get on board]

What happens when a girl refuses to give a blowjob?

The most common reaction you can get from a man when a girl refuses to give a blowjob is resentment. Some men are more chivalrous than others, and will accept the situation as it is.

The problem is that others will complain about it, and push a girl to do it anyway. Not cool, not cool at all.

When those men try to guilt-trip a girl or force her into giving head, they do not think about the consequences of their actions.

They may not be forcing themselves on a woman when they complain about not getting a blowjob, but they are in fact challenging a woman’s right to refuse acts she doesn’t want to participate in. It’s still an issue of consent and “no” literally means “no.” [Read: Lack of communication in a relationship and why it signals the end]

Some men will take the more appropriate route of talking about the situation with their partner. They will express their concern about why their partner does not want to engage in oral sex.

This way is better, because it does not seem threatening. It can actually help in making progress in whatever sexual endeavor they are engaged in.

After all, there may be a reason why a girl refuses to give a blowjob. Maybe she isn’t sure what to do. Or, perhaps she had a bad experience before. Talking about these things can help both of you.

DO NOT become a head pusher!

Although the situations mentioned above may seem tame, there are times when they are not given an option.

Some men will choose to pressure a girl or guilt them into giving a blowjob, while some will force a girl to perform the act without even asking. Wrong on every single level. The guys that do this do not deserve a smile in their general direction, let alone a blowjob.

A man who approaches the concept of a blowjob by forcing her into it does not deserve to be with any woman. You should always ask a girl if she wants to give you a blowjob. If you think that words are not necessary, think again.

Women HATE IT when guys shove them down towards their penis without even asking. It’s disrespectful and takes away her words. Remember – consent! [Read: The head pusher – Why some selfish guys do this and how women handle these men]

What to do if she refuses to give a blowjob

When a woman refuses to give you a blow job, accept the situation. If it bothers you so much, then discuss it with your partner. It is not a hopeless situation, because there are a lot of reasons why women do not want to give blowjobs, as we mentioned earlier.

The good thing is that some of these reasons can change. Some won’t, but if you can’t live a life without blowjobs, then go find someone else who shares the same beliefs as you do.

A loving relationship is about far more than oral sex. Do you go down on her? Some guys have a major issue with cunnilingus and women don’t make a big deal out of it generally. So, why do you think making a big deal out of a girl refusing to give a blowjob is okay? [Read: How to get a girl to give you head and enjoy it as much as you do]

Why do some girls refuse to give blowjobs?

The basic answer to that is because she doesn’t want to, and that’s good enough. But, when a woman refuses to give a blowjob, it could mean a multitude of things.

It cannot be isolated to just one reason, but some are more significant than others. The truth is that no matter what the reason is, a man should not judge her by the choice she makes.

Let’s look at some of the reasons why a girl might refuse to give a blowjob. [Read: How to have safe sex in every single way it is possible to]

1. Virtue

Sometimes virginity may be a moot point when it comes to asking for a blowjob, but some women refuse to do it because the act itself is on a whole other level of intimacy.

Oral sex shares many of the elements of penetrative sex. A penis is still involved in the process, which makes it just as daunting for most women who have never even seen a penis. [Read: Popping her cherry – 18 steps to deflower a girl without hurting her]

2. Hygiene

A penis is something men use to pee with, and all women are aware of that. Some are iffier about it because of the vas deferens’ proximity to the urethra.

Sometimes, a woman just won’t do it because she is worried about a guy’s approach to hygiene. It might smell bad or even taste bad. If it were the other way around, any man would agree. [Read: The 13 types of penis women love… or laugh at!]

3. Power play

A blowjob is a very pleasurable act that many men enjoy. If a woman knows that it is something that you really want, she can use it against you to get something that she wants.

It is a sad fact, but some women do use it as something to hold over a man’s head. [Read: 10 things women want in bed to feel comfortable with you]

4. Pride

A blowjob is not an insignificant act. It can be construed by some people as an act of submission. When a woman considers giving a blowjob as something that has value over the things that a man does for her, she won’t do it.

If you won’t eat her out and ask her nicely for a blowjob, don’t expect her to give in so easily. Sometimes, a woman can also consider it demeaning, which is a whole other topic altogether.

5. Intimidation

Some women think that penises are big weapons used by men. It can be intimidating for some, especially when they are faced with a penis for the first time.

Sometimes, a girl doesn’t know what to do with it, and she will be too afraid to even try.

6. It’s too big

The mouth and throat are not as versatile as the vagina. Huge penises can be a pain for some women, and they will refuse to even try to put them in their mouths.

It can hurt and even cause a woman to gag. If a woman thinks she can’t handle a penis that’s too big, she will give up on it altogether. [Read: What women really think of your penis]

7. She just doesn’t like how it looks

Women look at a penis the way men look at breasts. If it does not appeal to her, she will not want to put it in her mouth.

If she does not like the way it looks, she may get turned off by the idea of giving you a blowjob. [Read: The perfect cock – A woman’s opinion on how your penis measures up in her mouth]

8. You’re being an ass

If you are not treating her right, and have the audacity to ask for a blowjob, there was no need for you to read this article at all.

A blowjob – even though it sounds like a joke most of the time – is still as intimate as sex itself. It is a gift that should be given to someone who deserves it – a man who knows how to give when it comes to sex and other aspects of a relationship.

9. She had a bad experience before

It’s possible that she gave a blowjob in the past and it didn’t go according to plan. Maybe something happened that caused her to have a bad memory attached to the act.

Some guys can be pretty inconsiderate and when they get carried away in the moment, they don’t think about the girl who’s doing all the work.

If this is the case, you can try to talk to her and move slowly, but if she still refuses, you’ll just have to accept it.

10. She really doesn’t like blowjobs at all

If you ask most women if they enjoy giving blowjobs, most will say that they don’t. Some women do enjoy it, but the majority aren’t the biggest fans.

However, perhaps the lady in your life really doesn’t like giving blowjobs and she’s simply vowed not to put herself through it again. In that case, there’s nothing you can do but respect her wishes and find something else that you both enjoy instead. [Read: How to get a blowjob – 14 ways to get a girl to enjoy giving you head]

11. She’s worried you won’t like it

If she’s never given a blowjob before or she had a bad experience in the past, it’s possible she will refuse because she’s worried you won’t enjoy it.

She may become self-conscious about her performance and will then become too nervous to try.

12. She’s worried about gagging

Some women have a very sensitive gag reflex and it could simply be that she’s worried about being sick during the act.

The truth is that it’s unlikely to happen and there are techniques so she can control how much of your penis she puts in her mouth to stop this, i.e. using her hand as well.

If she tells you this is her worry, you can talk to her about it and give her some tips. But again, it’s still her choice in the end. [Read: How to deep throat like a porn star and leave him gasping for more]

13. It’s because you don’t go down on her

Relationships are about give and take, and so is sex. If you’re asking for blowjobs but you never go down on her, can you blame her for refusing?

Perhaps you should think about what you do for her and then maybe she’ll reconsider what she does for you. [Read: How to eat a girl out – 16 secrets to make her gasp and squirt]

Asking for a blowjob is not rocket science, but understanding why a woman may not want to do it is a little more complicated. You can try to talk about it and ask your partner to think about it, but you cannot do anything if she refuses.

[Read: How to make love to a woman – 21 secrets to leave her moaning for more in bed]

If you try to understand the reasons why a girl refuses to give a blowjob, you will be able to sympathize with her. There is nothing a woman likes more than an understanding and considerate man.