Ghosting: What It Is, 63 Signs, Reasons to Ghost & How It Affects Both People

Ghosting is a very cruel thing to do to someone. However, there are times when you have to do it. Learn all about ghosting and how it affects people.

Oh, ghosting. Most people have had their fair share of ghosting as both the victims and the ghosters. Regardless of whether or not you’ve been ghosted in the past by someone else, there are a lot of pretty good reasons why you shouldn’t ghost someone.

Let’s get this straight. When you’re not into someone, it’s easy to just go radio silent. But when you’re the person being ghosted, it’s the worst feeling in the world. 

You feel like no one likes you, no one wants to be with you, and you spend hours analyzing everything you ever said to them in hopes of finding out what you did wrong. In other words, you become a mess. A giant sad mess!

So, ghosting’s not the right way to tell someone you’re no longer interested. Why not just tell them properly? 

That being said, there are some situations where ghosting is acceptable. It’s not too hard to differentiate between the two.

If you’re not sure when and why you shouldn’t ghost someone, and also when it’s okay to ghost, follow this guide. We’ll show you when ghosting is a no-no, and when ghosting is perfectly acceptable. [Read: Haunting vs. ghosting – why haunting is so much worse in every way]

What is ghosting?

Ghosting is when you inexplicably and suddenly fade away from communication with someone you’re dating. It can also be a spouse, a friend, or a colleague. 

It can happen between people who’ve just met, or people who have been together for decades. You can tell if someone is ghosting you when they’re pretending that you don’t exist! 

Ghosting can manifest in many forms, the main one being through communication. [Read: 5 signs of ghosting and 5 ways to deal with it]

You can ghost a person by not replying to them through any means of communication. It can also be as severe as ignoring someone in broad daylight. 

Technically, it’s a social act, but some think that ghosting can go deeper than the simple deletion of a text. Some people have even found that the person who ghosted them pretended IRL that they’ve never met, even when they’re inches away from each other.

It’s a pretty low move. Really, what is ghosting someone other than basically deleting them from your life? [Read: How to break up when he doesn’t want to – the step-by-step guide]

Maybe we’ve become so used to technology that we’re pressing a metaphorical delete button IRL!

Ghosting psychology

People who ghost others don’t like feeling uncomfortable. It would feel bad for them to admit to someone that they’ve lost interest, so it’s easier to just disappear.

In some ways, ghosters think it’s kinder to ghost than to end it face-to-face. They factor in the time they invested and the level of engagement in the relationship. [Read: Covert narcissist – What it is, 42 signs, and how to see the games they play]

For example, if they only went out once or twice, ghosting doesn’t seem so bad to them. They don’t want to lead the other person on, so they rationalize their disappearance as reasonable and even compassionate. 

Why do people choose to ghost?

Ghosting exists because people have a tendency to run away from their problems. In this case, they run away from people. 

The only decent reason why a person would choose to ghost someone else is that they think that they are left with no other option. [Read: Why do guys ghost? 23 real reasons guys turn into cowardly A-holes]

There is no single cause as to why people do it, but there are clues that can explain why it’s happening more frequently these days.

1. Personal safety

When someone feels harassed, bullied, or antagonized, they may feel that ghosting is the only option that won’t involve other people in their problems. [Read: 16 signs of an abusive relationship]

2. Force of habit

It may have happened once and worked for some people, which leads a ghoster to repeat this offense because they were never held accountable for it.

3. Not wanting awkward conversations

One of the most torturous activities for any human being is to engage in an awkward conversation!

When it comes to dating, breakups or dumping can be the worst type of conversation. So ghosters try to avoid it the only way they can. [Read: 10 awkward conversations you need to have with your partner]

4. A revenge tactic

More than a few ghosters admit to doing it out of a need to get back at their lovers. 

It usually happens when they get cheated on, or experience other sorts of betrayal. Ghosting might seem satisfying at first, but the lack of closure can be damaging for both parties in the long run.

5. It’s the easy way out

Ghosting is probably the easiest way to escape any sort of relationship. You don’t need to do anything except block that person from your life and pretend they never existed.

6. Miscommunication 

A popular example of this is waiting for the other person to reach out to you. When it turns out that the other person is doing the exact same thing, what do you end up with? Ghosting eachother. [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]

7. Wrong assumptions

Rumors, hearsay, and conjecture can ruin any good relationship. Some people are programmed to act on gossip first before asking questions, which leads to situations like ghosting.

8. Convenience

It’s easier to just delete someone from your life than it is to explain yourself. This is especially true when the explanations you come up with aren’t that believable. [Read: The psychology of ignoring someone – Why we do it and ways to fix it]

9. Unforeseen circumstances

Death, road accidents, stolen phones, too many people with the same name on Facebook – maybe even herpes. There are oh-so-many reasons why that person inadvertently ghosted you. It’s not you, it’s them.

10. Shame or insecurity 

We can put herpes on this list too, but there are many other reasons why a person decides to ghost you that have nothing to do with you at all. 

Some people have personal problems that they have to deal with that they’re too scared or embarrassed to share with you. Hence, the ghosting. [Read: 6 inconvenient truths about love and relationships]

Signs of ghosting

If you’re dating someone and you feel like you might be getting ghosted, how do you know for sure? Well, there are some signs to look out for. Take a look at this list and see if you are experiencing any of them.

1. Regularly bailing out on plans to get together

Whether you are the one who is always making the plans or it’s them, they will regularly cancel their plans with you. They will also probably use really lame excuses that aren’t really that believable.

2. Struggling to make commitments

Or maybe when you do try to make plans with them, they are very non-committal. [Read: Fear of commitment – 47 signs, why, and ways to get over your phobia]

They will “have to check their calendar” or “they’ll let you know later.” They will never commit to seeing you because they hope you’ll take the hint!

3. Not sharing personal information

When you are trying to get closer to them and get to know them better, they are evasive with their personal information. 

They tend to be vague while you are sharing things about yourself. That means that they don’t want to get close to you. [Read: What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable? 19 signs and fixes]

4. Not wanting to meet their friends or family

Meeting someone’s family or friends is a big step for some people. It signals the fact that this relationship could be getting serious and that their lives are merging with the other person. 

So, if they are making excuses to avoid meeting people in your life, they might be trying to ghost you.

Why you shouldn’t ghost someone – say it to their face instead!

You can do better than ghosting. Here’s why you shouldn’t do it. [Read: Ghostbusting – what it means and 17 ways to get a ghoster to respond]

1. It’s immature

Listen, unless this person is behaving disrespectfully or crossing your boundaries, you need to end the relationship with respect. 

Ghosting this person is a big sign of immaturity on your part. If you were able to sleep with them or get to know them on an intimate level, then you can tell them it’s not working out for you.

2. It doesn’t give closure

When you ghost someone, you’re not telling them, “Hey, this isn’t working out for me. I think we should go our separate ways.”

You’re essentially saying nothing, which is neither a yes nor a no. [Read: What does it mean when someone’s ignoring your texts on purpose?]

It’s just silence. You’re not letting this person move on with a clear mind. Instead, you’re leaving the door a smidge open.

3. How would you feel if you were ghosted? 

Have you been ghosted before? It never feels good to have it done to you. 

As the person who has been ghosted (the ‘ghostee’), you feel it’s your fault; like you did something so wrong that this person can’t even end things normally. [Read: How to show empathy and learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

4. Did we mention it’s traumatic? 

If this person really liked you, ghosting them suddenly will obviously cause trauma. How can it not be traumatic? You think things are going well with someone and then they just disappear. 

There will be endless questions going through their head, and they’ll fear it happening again in future relationships.

5. Leave the situation as an authentic person

Don’t you want to leave the situation feeling good about how things ended? [Read: Why do friends ghost you? Why it hurts so fiercely and why they do it]

Okay, you’ll never feel amazing, but knowing you were honest and genuine to yourself and them is really something to be proud of. It’s not easy being honest in difficult situations.

6. You will overcome your own insecurities

Who honestly enjoys ending relationships with someone who you know has feelings for you? No one. It sucks. 

But this is something you need to get used to. There will be plenty of more uncomfortable situations heading your way in and outside of your romantic life.

You need to learn how to be okay with uncomfortable moments. [Read: Why am I so insecure? 29 reasons and ways to feel secure from within]

7. Not ghosting can be a learning opportunity

When you want to end a relationship, whether it was serious or not, talking about what didn’t work always helps both people. It’s your chance to see what went wrong. 

Maybe it was just a lack of chemistry, but it could be something more specific that you feel this person needs to work on (or vice versa). [Read: How to apologize for ghosting someone and undo the damage you caused them]

8. Remember – these people are actually human

Now that everyone is swiping left or right to find love, it’s easy to think that the people we meet online aren’t actually people. 

That’s the thing about online dating; it dehumanizes the people who are trying to look for love. Behind the screen is an actual human being with feelings and thoughts.

It’s clear why you shouldn’t ghost someone, but is there ever a time when you can ghost someone, and have it be acceptable?

The answer is yes. Here are the scenarios when ghosting is perfectly fine. [Read: 24 Signs of people who lack empathy to know they don’t care what you think]

Is it ever okay to ghost someone?

Okay, so this doesn’t mean you should never ghost someone. In many scenarios, ghosting is perfectly acceptable, and you don’t need to feel bad for not responding. 

It’s certainly acceptable when it’s the only option that can provide a sense of security and safety.

Ghosting is always OK in the context of potential or existing stalkers, domestic abusers, or any other people who are capable of harming you. [Read: Why do people who ghost you come back again? How to read the mind of a ghoster]

Still, if circumstances should permit, you’re better off asking for help instead of only ghosting. That’s because sometimes, the people you ghosted can follow you where you don’t want them to.

But before you decide to ghost someone, take a step back and put yourself in their position. Some of you may be self-assured and have no qualms about being ignored. 

A lot of people, however, take this slight as an affront to their whole being. It can be painful. It can be degrading. Most of all, it can change a person – sometimes, in a bad way. [Read: How to end a relationship on good terms – 20 ways to end it gracefully]

When can you ghost someone guilt-free? Here are some situations.

1. When someone is cruel, aggressive, or offensive

If speaking to someone or dating them is making you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or even just offended, you have every right to ghost them.

2. When they have ghosted you

If someone ghosted you and comes back from the dead as if nothing happened, you owe them nothing. 

You can ghost them right back. You don’t have to be polite, considerate, or even respond to someone that disrespected you. [Read: How and why to get revenge on your ex – 20 healthy and effed up ways!]

In this case, it isn’t mean, it’s necessary.

3. When you feel in danger

Your gut is giving you strong vibes to stay away from this person, by all means, you should. 

Whether this person is asking inappropriate questions or making you feel threatened, whatever the case may be, you have all the right not to reply to them. When you sense harm, cut them off.

If you feel in danger in any way, shape, or form, you do not owe this person an explanation. You are owed your safety. You can ghost, get out, flee without a word and it is okay. [Read: The scary signs you’re in a toxic relationship that’s breaking you]

4. They’re emotionally manipulative

If you feel that this person is showing signs of emotional manipulation or is highly emotionally aggressive, you have the right to cut things off. 

When someone isn’t genuinely interested in you, you don’t need to give them a reason why you don’t want to speak with them anymore either.

5. Your boundaries are being disrespected

They were a little pushy, and you kindly told them where your personal boundaries are, which is great. Obviously, they should respect your wishes. [Read: How to set boundaries in a healthy relationship – 15 must-follow rules]

But if they’re continuing to push and try to cross the line, then you can ghost them. They don’t respect you, and it’s clear.

6. You said no, but they won’t leave you alone

They asked you out, and you said no. Then, they asked you out again, and you, again, said no. Then they asked you out again, and of course, your answer was still NO!

If you’ve been very straightforward with them and given them a solid no, then there’s no reason why the conversation needs to continue. [Read: The real scenarios where it’s completely okay to ghost a friend]

If they don’t understand what no means, they will have to learn once you stop replying to them.

7. They’re still not getting the hint

If you have tried not to ghost someone, but they aren’t taking the hint, even when you’ve been obvious, you may have no other choice. 

You’ve even told them straight to their face that you’re not interested. And yet, they just won’t stop contacting you and trying to push things forward. [Read: Ways to deal with a complicated relationship]

If you’ve told someone you’re not interested without beating around the bush and they sort of just ignore it, you can ghost.

At this point, it’s clear talking isn’t getting you anywhere with them. So, ghosting them is the last resort to tell them no.

How to ghost someone if you have to

If you really need to ghost someone, it takes a lot of skill to pull it off without creating a fuss. In order to get away clean, there are definitely steps you must take first. [Read: How to break up with him – the nicest ways]

Here is everything you should do when ghosting someone, in order to do it right.

1. Make sure that you really don’t want this person in your life 

You can never come back from ghosting. It’s true! If you want to ghost this person, then you have to be completely certain you want nothing to do with them.

Think about it long and hard and be sure before you even start with this list. Even if you apologize, nothing will ever be the same. [Read: Signs you’re not ready to be dating]

So, picture your life without them, and accept how it will be.

2. Start distancing yourself from them

When you talk to them, hold back on details. Stop asking questions. Create a distance between the two of you. This makes it much easier for you to ghost and it also makes your ghosting easier for them to accept.

When they feel like something is off, they’re more likely to understand the ghosting. This makes it much easier for you to get away clean because they won’t really have a leg to stand on. [Read: How to recognize an emotionally distant partner and deal with them]

They might even understand why you did it.

3. Stop responding to one thing at a time 

The problem with cutting off cold turkey is that it makes people angry. 

The best way to ease into ghosting is by ignoring them on certain platforms first. Not responding to their tags on Instagram or Facebook is a great way to start. [Read: How to ignore someone when you don’t want to talk]

That way, when you delete them off social media, they won’t notice as much. It makes the entire process seem more organic and less like you just decided to ghost them on a whim.

4. Stand firm in your intention 

If you give them so much as a hint that you’re still responsive, it’s all over. Once you decide that you’re officially in “ghosting” mode, don’t respond. No matter how many times they try to reach you, ignore it.

This can sometimes be hard because ghosting someone hurts them. They may come to you upset and they might want to fix things. Hold firm if you want to actually get rid of them. [Read: 21 Ways to tell a girl you’re not interested in her like a gentleman]

5. Delete them from social media 

This is a must. You may even have to block them. The best time to do this is after you’ve been silent on social media for a while, and you’ve begun distancing yourself. 

If they notice that you’ve deleted them, it might cause a stir. So be careful. [Read: 11 things couples should quit doing on social media]

6. Prepare for a backlash of some kind 

The truth is, ghosting someone isn’t nice at all. It’ll make people upset. 

They’ll want to know what they did wrong and sometimes they’ll stop at nothing to get answers. So be prepared. [Read: Prepare for these 10 consequences of ghosting]

7. Letting go of feeling bad about it 

If someone deserves to be ghosted, it is not your responsibility to care for their feelings or wonder how they’re feeling. 

Right now, ghosting is your way out of something that isn’t good for you. It isn’t that you’re bored or just not into someone, you need to get out of this situation. It is unsafe, uncomfortable, or unhealthy.

Convince yourself that this has to be done. It isn’t the easy way, but it is the only way out. [Read: How to tell if someone doesn’t have empathy and what to do about it]

Once you are able to confirm with yourself that you have made the healthiest choice for you, you can move forward.

8. Once you make the decision, act

Now, if you’re in a bad situation and need out, ghosting should happen as soon as you make that choice. The more you hesitate, the harder it will be, the more likely you are to change your mind, and the more likely they are to catch on.

Make the decision, put your plan into action, and never try to un-ghost. [Read: The hoovering games narcissists play to suck you back in]

9. Find a support system, such as trusted friends or family

They will help you break away from this person and help keep them from you. If you let them know what you’re doing, they’ll know to do the same if this person tries to reach out to them.

Often, if you feel like ghosting is your only way out, you do not owe them an explanation. They know why you’re leaving. Focus on you, your safety, and your health. 

Ghosting in the everyday situations that most people go through is selfish, juvenile, and cowardly. However, ghosting someone legitimately, in your situation, is strong, necessary, and heroic. [Read: How to be a good friend]

How ghosting can impact the ghosted

On the other hand, what if you ghosted but you didn’t have to? You might think that you came out on top, when in fact, you just pushed yourself to the bottom of the social barrel. [Read: If you’re regularly asking yourself, am I a bad person – read this]

Here are some examples.

1. Depression and anxiety

Do you think it feels good when someone disappears on you? Of course not. It will only cause them to feel very bad.

The very act of ghosting can cause serious problems like depression, anxiety, obsession, and other behavioral disorders. It can be a very disturbing experience for people who are already prone to feeling like this. [Read: 5 Ways volunteer work can help heal depression]

2. Feelings of abandonment

No one likes to be abandoned by anyone. And some people have some pretty severe abandonment issues stemming from childhood. 

Ghosting is similar to abandonment. Both have serious repercussions that can affect how a person sees themselves. They will see themselves as unworthy of people staying in their lives.

3. Insecurity

When you leave someone hanging like that, they can assume the worst about themselves – especially if they’re already insecure. After all, why would someone ghost you if they really liked you? [Read: 20 signs of insecurity people can’t hide when they feel insecure]

This can lead to someone feeling immensely insecure about themselves. They think that they are not good enough for the person who ghosted them, and they might think they’re not good enough for anyone else either.

4. No closure

The person you ghosted can’t process what happened immediately, because there’s no explanation from you. They won’t know what they did wrong and might do it again with the next person they get involved with.

So, ghostees are left with no closure. They don’t have the opportunity to talk to the ghoster to figure out what happened. Living with those unknowns can be excruciating. [Read: Emotional baggage – How to help someone put it down & find freedom]

5. Makes them paranoid

Not only does ghosting affect the ghostee, but it also affects society as a whole. Once people hear that it’s an effective way to get rid of someone, they are more likely to use ghosting for convenience without considering the consequences.

That’s why the person will become paranoid and think that everyone might ghost them in the future. It’s something they might even come to expect from people which creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So, that’s how ghosting affects the ghostee. And remember, it does not feel good to make someone feel bad.

You may have escaped an awkward relationship, but you will forever be haunted by the fact you ghosted. [Read: How to find closure with yourself after a relationship]

How to move on after being ghosted

Being the ghostee can really impact your life in a negative way. You might feel like you’re not even able to move on. But you can. Here’s how.

1. Set boundaries first

Now that you have been ghosted, you realize that you can’t trust people right away. It’s sad, but it’s true. So, that’s why you have to look out for yourself first.

When you’re dating someone new, one way you can do that is to set boundaries in the beginning. Let them know what you expect from their behavior and then stick to your guns. [Read: How to set personal boundaries and guide others to respect it]

Teach them how to treat you and make them act respectfully to you.

2. Give the person a time limit

If you haven’t heard from this person for a while and you suspect you’re being ghosted, don’t hold on to hope forever. You can’t just place all the power in their hands. Take it back for yourself.

So, make sure you don’t let them stay ghosted for long before you cut your losses and move on. You need to close that door and realize that the right person for you won’t ghost. [Read: Why ghosters always come back – understand the mind of a ghoster]

3. Don’t automatically blame yourself

It’s easy to feel bad about yourself when someone ghosts. You automatically think that there is something wrong with you or that you did something wrong in the relationship or dating process.

But it’s not you. The person who ghosts doesn’t have the integrity to tell you face-to-face, and that shows their character – not yours. So, you should be happy that they ghosted you, because they’re not a quality person.

4. Don’t “treat” your feelings with substance abuse

It’s pretty normal to want to drown your sorrows so you can escape the pain of being ghosted.

That’s why a lot of people want to reach for that beer, wine, cocktail, or even hard drugs. [Read: 15 Fast working secrets to sober up ASAP and go from hungover to alert]

But while substance use will numb your pain, it definitely won’t make you feel better in the long run. In fact, you’ll just feel bad about yourself for being “weak”, and giving in to the temptation of getting drunk or high. 

5. Spend time with friends or family

When we feel down and sad, it’s always best to spend time with the people who love us unconditionally. After you’ve been ghosted, you’re going to feel insecure about yourself.

So, spending time with your family and friends will make you feel better. They will lift up your spirits and help remind you why you’re such an awesome person – and why you’re better off without that nasty ghoster! [Read: 24 Fun challenges to do with friends to bond and create fun memories]

6. Seek professional help

If you were ghosted a long time ago but you just can’t move past it, then it might be time to seek professional help. It’s not normal or healthy to be unable to move on after being ghosted.

However, if you were ghosted by a long-term partner, then your wounds might run deep. Talking to a trained therapist can help you put things into perspective and take your life back.

Ghosting is cruel, but sometimes there’s no other way 

Never ghost someone who doesn’t deserve it. Cutting off communication without giving an answer as to why can be nothing short of a nightmare for that person – and pretty cowardly on your part. [Read: Ghosted after the first date – why dates ghost and what you need to do]

But, if you do feel like you have no other option, then ghosting is a good way to get out of a bad situation. 

The one thing you have to remember is that at some random point in time, you may bump into them. In that case, how will you explain your ghosting if they’re still keen for a reason why? 

It’s something you need to be prepared for, but if you’re pretty sure you can go all ghostly without ever being spotted, go for it. [Read: How to handle the annoying wait when he doesn’t text back for days]

Consequences of ghosting someone

People who ghost do not always get off scot-free. It may seem that they can just ignore their significant other and leave it at that. But there are people out there who have had enough of this behavior and want some answers.

People who are sick and tired of the ghosting trend sometimes go out of their way to make sure the ghosters know exactly how they feel.

If you’re someone who finds that it’s easier to just ghost people rather than confront them, you’ll want to beware of these consequences. Watch out who you ghost! [Read: What is ghosting and how it affects you]

1. Face-to-face confrontation

That’s right. There are people out there who will have none of your ghosting ways! If you’re scared of the confrontation to begin with, then ghosting is not the way to go; some people will actually find you and confront you about the matter.

They could show up at your door at 2 AM, demanding answers. Not only will you have to deal with the confrontation, but your ghostee will be MAD and not so understanding. Good luck.

2. Making the situation worse

Yep. You could have just made a sort-of awkward situation MUCH worse.

Even though you think they will throw a huge fit and yell at you for not being interested, most of the time people will not react this way. [Read: Am I being ghosted? 25 signs you’re on the verge of being ghosted!]

They may be bummed out, but usually, a spurned lover won’t go crazy. By ghosting them, you are fueling their resentment fire, making a simple situation horrible.

3. Retaliation

Some people may be above this, but there are a lot who aren’t. By retaliation, we’re talking revenge. There are people out there that will be so hurt and confused by you, that they will go out of their way to hurt you in return.

Did you send them some racy photos? You may be surprised to find that they could show up on the internet for the world to see. Now, that may be extreme—but it’s a chance you’re taking by ghosting. [Read: 12 devious ways a crazy ex can get their revenge]

4. Future problems with dating

People talk. If they see you’re dating someone new, it just might push them over the edge and cause them to do something a bit drastic… like telling your new fling that the second you’re done with them, you’re just going to run off without a word.

It could cause so many problems down the line if you’re really interested in someone, and they find out you ghosted a former flame. It could turn them off completely, even if you wouldn’t do that to them. 

Because – honestly, what kind of person just up and leaves without a word? They may find that behavior inexcusable, and decide they don’t want to pursue anything further with you. [Read: 23 Signs he’s not interested in a second date after the first one]

5. Crappy self-worth

Guilt? Remorse? Those feelings could be the real deal if you’re someone who ghosts often. 

Only if you have a heart, though. If you put yourself in the other person’s shoes, you may realize that what you’re doing is inconsiderate, and even cruel.

You may start feeling bad about yourself because you realize that you haven’t been the best person you could be. That will certainly change your self-worth. [Read: Low self-worth – 5 steps to see yourself in a better light]

6. Karma

What comes around, goes around. If you’re someone who is frequently ghosting and leaving people hurt, angry, and confused, then chances are that not many good things are going to come to you.

Whether you believe in karma or not, ghosting itself has consequences that function the same way as karma. 

Next time your car breaks down or develops a mysteriously punctured tire, just think about if you’ve recently ghosted someone—because you may be paying the price. [Read: If you’re regularly asking yourself am I a bad person – read this]

7. Disappointment from others

When people find out you ghost, it may change their opinion of you. We’re not just talking about future potential lovers, either. We’re talking about people in general, including friends and family.

You may have made a new friend and divulged the truth about how you ended things with your previous lover, and they might think differently of you—they might even think negatively of you. 

Ghosting could potentially cost you a friend, all because you couldn’t muster the courage to communicate. [Read: 17 bad friends you should unfriend from your life]

8. Losing out on something great

Seriously. It could have been way too early in the relationship to decide that you’re not interested. 

By ghosting your significant other, you could have lost out on something really great. Ghosting means never giving someone the opportunity to make a case for themselves. Shame on you!

9. No future chances

If you ghost someone and later realize that maybe they were better than you thought, and you want to try things again, you most likely won’t have that chance.

By just cutting them out without rhyme or reason, you’ve just ruined any future chances. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding you back from a better life]

You can’t abandon someone without even a single word, leaving them wondering and hurt and upset, and then expect to just waltz back into their life. No way. Not a chance.

10. Inability to break up normally

If you end up dating someone wonderful and you’re together in a real relationship for a long time, but they one day decide that they’re not your soul mate, a chronic ghoster will lack the experience to make a clean breakup.

You won’t know what to say, or how to make things right—and now you’re in a situation where ghosting is not an option. [Read: Why being ghosted hurts so much and what you need to do about it]

This could potentially lead to you staying in a relationship that you’re unhappy with, solely because you just don’t know how to break up properly.

The types of people you just can’t ghost

There are certain people you really just can’t ghost. Sometimes they’re too forward, or they’re slightly crazy. They will keep hounding you until you answer. 

In that case, you’ll need to be firm in your explanation of why you do not want to speak to or see this person again. [Read: How to end a friendship – 10 traditional grownup steps]

Then, cut all ties. If you try to ghost these kinds of people, they’ll always find a way to haunt you.

1. The possessive type 

If you were seeing someone and they were the possessive type, ghosting them might be difficult. They’re probably a jealous kind of person that will be suspicious right when you start distancing yourself.

These types of people will definitely get upset, and won’t fall for it. You’ll have to confront them and break it off the old-fashioned way. [Read: All the signs of a possessive lover]

2. Someone you were serious with 

If you think you can just ghost someone you were in a long-term, serious relationship with – you’re crazy. There’s no way you’ll get away with it. This person knows you well. They even know your family! 

The bottom line is that they deserve the respect of you ending things with a conversation, instead of just disappearing.

3. Someone you have mutual friends with 

To be honest, this is just nearly impossible. [Read: Staying friends after a breakup – Can you actually make it work?]

If they know your friends and can talk to them about it, you’re screwed. Other people will start questioning you about why you’re not talking to them, and it can get pretty messy.

No matter how you end things with someone you have mutual friends with, it’ll always be weird. 

You have to figure out how to end it in a way that doesn’t make your other friendships uncomfortable. [Read: 25 ways to end a relationship without making it messy]

4. The highly confrontational type 

If the person you want to ghost is someone who has a habit of getting into arguments with people, don’t do it. When they’re highly confrontational, they’ll get really angry you’re ghosting them.

The best thing to do with this type is to keep your reasons short and sweet, and then leave. At least that way you got the words out, and won’t have to talk to them again. [Read: 14 valid reasons to break up with someone]

So, what is the other option besides ghosting?

Have a conversation! Be brave enough to be honest. If your safety isn’t at risk and you really just don’t want to see this person again for whatever reason – tell them. You owe them that much. 

By ghosting someone, you’re just causing them a world of anxiety and ‘what ifs’. They’ll wonder what they did wrong, and they may carry that baggage into a future relationship.

It’s a far better option just to sit down and explain. If you’re going to break their heart, at least have the guts to answer any questions they have. [Read: 12 grim signs it’s finally time to end your relationship]

At least then they can get closure. Even if still going to cause them heartbreak, you want to be known as a decent person, don’t you? 

That means actually having the guts to say what you mean and explain why you’re doing something.

After all, if someone ghosted you, you’d hate it, wouldn’t you?

[Read: How to break up with someone without hurting them]

We all know ghosting is just NOT the way to go when breaking up with a person. Those of you who think it’s a good idea… maybe you should reconsider. The consequences above just may make you think twice before ghosting your next victim.