Ghosted After Sex: 21 Reasons & What to Do If You’re Ignored After Sex

After you sleep with someone, you expect to see them again. So, when you’re ignored and ghosted after sex, it can be painful. Here’s how to move past it.

Many people know what it feels like to be ignored and ghosted after sex. Not only is your ego completely crushed, but you just don’t understand why someone would do that to you.

Okay, they didn’t need to propose marriage but the least they could have done was tell you they’re no longer interested. Yes, it still stings but at least you have some closure. But alas, they don’t even do that.

So, why is it that you were ignored and ghosted after sex? Okay, we don’t know them personally, so their reason may be completely different, but usually, you’re ignored after sex for a few main reasons. [Read: Why do you crave them more when you feel ignored?]

The real reasons why you’re ghosted and ignored after sex

People refrain from getting themselves into relationships because relationships are “complicated.”

Listen, it doesn’t matter whether it’s a fling or a long-term relationship. The minute you add sex into the equation, it changes the entire thing.

You meet someone, you connect, you sleep with them. Suddenly, they’re nowhere to be found. What’s up with that? On top of all of that, you spend hours thinking about what you did to make you ignored after sex. It’s time to get down to the real truth.

1. They only wanted sex

Now, this is completely cool if you talked about this before sex. That way, you know that sex was only what they wanted. While ignoring or ghosting isn’t nice, you have it figured out.

If you didn’t ask what they were looking for prior to having sex, well, then you allowed yourself to be vulnerable to this type of behavior. What are they looking for? Casual sex? Getting to know you? A relationship? What?! [Read: The booty call moves that may be disguised as true love]

2. You don’t know what you want

At the end of the day, people can tell when someone doesn’t know what they want. They may have slept with you and then realized that you’re looking for something more serious or more casual that doesn’t fall in their needs.

Because you didn’t state your needs, they may have assumed that you aren’t on the same page. So, instead of talking to you, they ignored you. [Read: Ghosted after the first date? Why dates ghost and what you need to do next]

3. They didn’t want anything serious

Now, we don’t want to assume, but we have a feeling that you slept with this person before making a commitment to each other. We’re not judging, we’ve all slept with people before even talking about what we want in relationships.

They didn’t want anything serious which is why they ignored you after sex. Depending on gender, men are able to have sex without feeling emotional, while women biologically have an emotional experience when having sex.

4. It wasn’t “it” 

Though everyone has sex, sexual experiences differ from person to person. For example, you may have amazing sex with one person while the next person you sleep with, the sex will be completely different. 

We’re not designed to have amazing sex with everyone we encounter. We all have different bodies. Each vagina and penis is different and not all of them will fit together.

5. They freaked out

The sex was amazing, for you and your partner. It blew each other’s minds. But sex can be funny. You both had an amazing experience, but your partner is freaking out. They think about the future and what they should do which results in them freaking out and ignoring you.

In other words, they’re scared of commitment. Now, did they have to ignore you? No, but that just shows they’re immature. [Read: Why being ghosted hurts so much and what you need to do to numb the pain]

6. You’re getting attached

Yeah, we know it sounds stupid. How can people not be emotionally attached after a great sexual experience? And for them, they simply wanted sex which is great but that’s not how sex works. 

After sex, you texted them more or asked to hang out. They took this as a warning sign of you being attached. So, they ran instead.

7. They have a boyfriend/girlfriend

Ah yes. Sorry, but they’re already taken. Yeah, we know, they’re dicks, but for them, you were just someone to have a good time with. 

Then they go back to their normal life. They had no intention of continuing the relationship. They got what they wanted, and now they don’t need you. [Read: 15 signs he’s dating someone else and you think he’s seeing only you]

8. They’re waiting for you to play their game

Maybe after sex, you texted them once, but then you saw that they weren’t really replying or only replying when they wanted. In other words, they wrapped you around their finger and used you for sex whenever they wanted.

But, you didn’t quite fall into that trap and now you don’t contact them – period. But you’re not really being ignored, rather, they’re waiting for you to come running to them.

9. They don’t actually like you

We know this sounds horrible. At the moment, they just wanted to stick it in. They didn’t really care who you are or your interest, they simply had one thing on their mind and that was to get laid. 

Now, you may have taken this a little more seriously, but they’re not even ignoring you. They simply don’t care. [Read: 25 signs he only wants sex and the reasons why he’s just using you for fun]

10. You’re clingy

How can we say this nicely? The twenty texts you sent them the day after sleeping with them, well… they didn’t take that as something cute or sweet. If anything, they categorized you as a stage five clinger. Now, they’re doing whatever they can to get rid of you.

You came on too strong for them. They feel suffocated. Rather than telling you this, they ignored you because it’s easier for them.

What to do if you’re ignored after sex

No one likes being ignored after sex – it is a form of rejection, and it doesn’t feel good.

So, if you find yourself in this situation, there are some things you can do for you to keep your sanity. [Read: Am I being ghosted? 20 signs you’re on the verge of being ghosted]

1. Don’t overanalyze

Girls *and many guys as well* have a tendency to overanalyze everything. In fact, many times they will blame themselves for things that might have gone wrong.

Was it something they said? Something they did? What could have gone wrong? What doesn’t the guy like about them?

But when you ask all these questions, you are overanalyzing too much. You will never come up with the answers because only the person who ghosted you after sex knows.

And if they are ignoring you after sex, then chances are that you won’t ever have a chance to ask them. Not that you should! The only thing you can do is stop thinking about it too much.

2. Don’t take it personally

We know it sounds impossible to not take it personally if you are being ignored and ghosted after sex. That’s because they are rejecting you – just in a passive-aggressive way. So, it’s normal to blame yourself. [Read: How to stop being so sensitive about everything all the time]

But it probably has nothing to do with you! The type of person who would ignore someone after sex is… well… just a downright jerk. If they have no human decency, then why would you want them?

Their actions say more about them than it does about you. They’ve probably done this to many people – not just you.

3. Talk to your friends

That’s what friends are for! You need to talk about feeling rejected, so who better to talk to than your friends?

In fact, they probably have been through something similar. If they have, then they can give you advice on how to get through this from their experiences.

4. Don’t vent on social media

Sometimes when we are upset about something, a lot of people want to take to social media to vent about it. But you really need to hold back and not do this for a couple of reasons. [Read: The dangers of social media – why it can make you feel insecure]

First, it will just make you look bad. Everyone following you will probably think you are a drama queen, and you don’t want that.

Second, it will ruin the guy’s reputation. He might deserve it, but you shouldn’t make yourself look bad by publicly outing him.

5. Don’t chase him

Many times, it’s instinctual for a girl to chase a guy if she thinks he’s rejecting her. So, if you’re being ignored after sex and you feel like you want to chase after him, you just really need to resist that urge.

Look – he’s ignoring you for a reason. And that reason is that he doesn’t want to talk to you! We know it’s hard to accept that, but it’s the truth.

So, if you chase after him it will just make him run further. You won’t get him to like you that way, so just don’t do it. [Read: 35 tempting ways to make a guy want you and dream of being with you]

6. Go out with friends

So, instead of chasing after him, you need to distract yourself. Go out with your friends. You can go see movies, go to the spa for manicures and pedicures, or anything else that will get your mind off the fact that you are being ignored after sex.

Better yet, go out clubbing or to a bar with your friends. Get out there and meet other guys. That is a great way to get over getting ghosted. 

7. Don’t let it bother you

We know that feels like it’s nearly impossible to do this. It always bothers us when someone ignores or ghosts after sex.

But, you need to try to not let it bother you. But doing all the things we have suggested so far – like distracting yourself or not overanalyzing, you will keep your mind off of it. [Read: Emotional detachment – The easy path to a better and healthy life]

8. Move on

The longer he ignores you after sex, the less hope you have of him ever contacting you again. So, it’s easy to sit around hoping he might come around and see you again.

But don’t give him that power over you! There comes a point when you just need to make the decision to move on and put it in the past. There are a lot of other fish in the sea – go find them! 

How to work on your self-esteem after being ignored and ghosted after sex

When we get rejected and ghosted after sex, it inevitably takes a toll on our self-esteem. We can’t help but think about what’s wrong with us.

But, there is no time like the present to work on your self-esteem, right? So, here are some tips for how to feel better about yourself after being ignored after sex.

1. Don’t compare yourself to other girls

That’s probably the first thing you want to do. You’re looking at all the other girls around and sizing them up and down. You look at their legs compared to yours. Their hair, their boobs, their lips, and more. [Read: Instagram envy – how to keep things real when you’re green with envy]

But you need to stop doing that! You are unique and precious the way you are. No one is better than you. Just because one guy ignored you after sex doesn’t mean that the right guy will. So, stop comparing yourself to other people.

2. Change your negative self-talk

When we have low self-esteem, the way to talk to ourselves – about ourselves – is usually negative. We might not even be aware of the fact that we are saying so many bad things in our heads. 

So, you want to catch yourself when you say something negative. Write it down, and keep a list of these so you can go back and look at it. When you do, you are more aware of what you are saying to yourself, and then you can change it. Change the negative thoughts about yourself into positive ones. [Read: How to master positive self-talk and banish negativity]

3. Reframe it

Instead of getting down on yourself for getting ghosted and ignored after sex, you need to reframe it. Think about it – the guy actually did you a favor. He’s clearly a jerk.

And you deserve so much better! If he hadn’t ignored you after sex, then you might have gotten sucked into his toxic web. This way, you are free to meet a good guy who will not do this to you.

[Read: How to stop feeling ignored by the one you love *they don’t care, you should do the same*]

Now that you know the real reasons you’re ghosted and ignored after sex, there’s no point in developing all these theories in your head and freaking out. Just let it go, and don’t give a damn!