Getting Stood Up On a Date: 13 Ways to Avoid It & Get Back at Them

The last thing you want is to be shrugged off by your date. Learn how to handle getting stood up on a date and never be disappointed! 

If you’ve ever been stood up on a date you’ll know that it’s annoying and frustrating. It’s also quite upsetting if you were looking forward to it. Yet it’s an inevitable hindrance of casual dating. For sure, it doesn’t happen all the time, but on a rare occasion, you may find yourself on the waiting side of a lonely date. Getting stood up on a date simply shows the person for who they are – flakey, yet that doesn’t help your feelings of frustration, right?

While getting stood up on a date can be annoying, there are easy, effective ways to avoid getting stood up in the first place, or at least handle it with grace and poise.

[My confession: He stood me up on a date and what I did about it]

Why do people stand up their dates?

Because they’re too cowardly to call and say that they’ve changed their mind. Even if something has genuinely cropped up at the last minute, they could have let you know. That’s the decent thing to do. Leaving someone waiting for a meeting that’s obviously not going to happen is nothing short of disrespectful.

If you’ve ever done the standing up before, perhaps it’s karma. However, it never feels good. All you can do is shrug it off and vow never to converse with this cowardly person ever again. After all, if they’ve stood you up one time, what’s to say they won’t do it again?

Don’t waste your time for a second further. Just learn how to handle getting stood up on a date and move on.

[Read: Texting before a first date – How to do this right and avoid getting stood up]

How to avoid getting stood up on a date

First dates are all about making a great impression.

If someone stands you up without even as much as a warning call, you should definitely kiss them goodbye.

The next time you fix a date with someone who seems interested, remember these tips to avoid getting stood up, or to be able to handle it like a dating pro.

[Read: 20 signs of attraction to know if your date’s interested in you]

1. Be fashionably late

Being fashionably late is still cool, especially if you’re the girl. Better yet, be late by at least fifteen minutes. If your date hasn’t come by then, call another guy and go party somewhere, or pretend like you’re in the wrong place and walk out.

2. Know the maximum waiting time when getting stood up on a date

If you don’t believe in making your date wait, you can always get to the restaurant on time. But don’t wait for a date any more than twenty minutes. Make that fifteen minutes if he’s not answering his phone.

If there’s still no sign, pretend that you’ve had an emergency call and get out of there. Head somewhere with your friends instead – don’t waste a good outfit! [Read: The most important dating rules for classy men and women]

3. Have him pick you up

If you know him already, let him pick you up from your place. Waiting for him at a restaurant can be embarrassing, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

If he still stands you up when he’s supposed to come and collect you, then you know he’s really not worth the time or effort.

4. Listen to your gut

Don’t leave for the date if the last time you spoke to him was over two days ago. Just call him and chat up for a while early in the day.

If he reminds you about the date or talks about the date, then go ahead with the preparation, but if he behaves like he has no memory of ever fixing a date with you, kiss his worthless butt goodbye.

Simply listen to your gut beforehand and if you really feel like it’s not going to happen, don’t even bother getting dressed up. That’s one way to avoid getting stood up on a date.

5. Remember that it reflects on him, not you

Even if you do get stood up after all these tips, remember he’s definitely not worth all the pain. Just have a great dinner yourself if you’re up for it, or call a few friends over to join you.

You can still have a lot of fun even if he didn’t bother to show up. It’s a total reflection on his character and not on you at all.

6. Be wary of who you agree to dates with in the first place

This is another reason why you should trust your gut. Some people just have ‘unreliable’ stamped on their heads. If you get that vibe from this person, don’t agree to a date.

If they want to see you, they can come to you, without you making any effort at all.

Understanding what you feel after being stood up

When you realize that you’ve been stood up, your mind will be clouded by emotions. There’s anger, resentment, frustration, self doubt, depression, pain and loneliness.

Understand what you really feel more than anything else. Remember that it’s just a silly boy who couldn’t be man enough to call off a date or care about a woman’s feelings.

And by being upset about it, you’re only giving this guy more attention than he ever deserves. [Read: Signs he doesn’t deserve you – 20 Big clues you need to back away ASAP]

You may feel depressed or humiliated after being stood up, but guess what, no one other than you knows you’ve been stood up. So don’t worry about other people’s perceptions. Relax awhile, call a friend, speak aloud and pretend like you were supposed to meet elsewhere, and walk out of the restaurant with your head held high.

You can meet another guy who likes you *who’ll be more than happy to take you out* or you can go home. But don’t make any hasty mistakes like throwing yourself into someone else’s arms or wallowing in lonely self-pity.

Shit happens. Get over it! [Read: How to get any guy’s attention in any circumstance]

Getting back at a guy who stood you up

If you want to get back at the guy who stood you up or let him know that you’re not hurt by his action, here are a few tips to do just that.

1. Don’t tell him that you met another guy thanks to him standing you up. He’ll never believe you.

2. Do wait a few minutes and then text to say that you’ve been trying to contact him and you can’t make the date. Give a random reason to save face! [Read: How to make him realize your worth & see that you deserve better]

3. Don’t create a scene, he’s clearly not interested so why bother?

4. Do know that you really aren’t going to gain anything by standing outside his door with a lit torch threatening to burn him down, or by writing him hate mail or a social media post, or by abusing him through hundreds of texts. Remember, it’ll only give a sadistic guy a good laugh.

5. Do mention that you already had a date with another guy and forgotten all about it.

6. Do mention that you made plans with your friends and you needed to cancel anyway [Read: How to have fun with friends – 40 Ways to beat boredom]

7. Do call him late at night and apologize for not going to the date. He doesn’t need to know who stood up who!

All these moves are great ways to get even with the guy who stood you up. It’ll put him in his place, and even though he’s the one that stood you up, he’d wonder if you stood him up too.

[Read: Modern dating woes: 20 Pitfalls of being a serial dater]

Use these tips on how to avoid getting stood up and you’ll drop all chances of ever getting stood up. And even if you do get stood up, you now know just what to do, don’t you?