Get Back Together With An Ex: 50 Signs & Steps to Get Them to Love You Again

If you regret a breakup and want to get back together with an ex, you should consider all these signs and stages to make them yours.

You’re not the first person who wants to get back with an ex. It’s a part of almost every relationship. Regardless of the reason for your breakup, you want them back. But should you? 

Breaking up with someone is hard enough. Deciding to end the relationship may just be the hardest thing that you’ll ever have to do. Moving on is the second hardest thing. 

The third hardest thing? To give that very same relationship with your ex another chance. This is especially true if you’ve been badly burned by that relationship and then, out of the blue, just when you feel like you’ve moved on, the person comes knocking on your door, asking for forgiveness and a second chance.

The Dating Rulebook may say that getting back together with an ex is a terrible idea. However, when it’s a matter of the heart, there’s no rule that can dictate what you should do. The heart truly is a fickle thing, so when you’ve got your eyes on your ex *as if they ever left*, what is there to do?

Sometimes, love does deserve a second chance. So, when you’re thinking of getting them back, how do you know if it’s really the best decision? It’s a big gamble, and you risk getting broken, and going up in flames once again.

If you’ve decided you want your ex back, you’ve made it through the first step. The hard part comes after this decision. Your relationship already broke apart once *or twice* before.

Now, if you want a strong and healthy relationship, it’s time to move past the problems from the past. [Read: When your ex wants you back – Is it what you want and need?]

As a word of warning to all our readers, looking to get back together with your ex needs a lot of careful consideration. After all, there is a reason you broke up in the first place. 

However, there’s no denying the attraction of someone you once loved – and may still love!

Signs you should think about getting back with an ex 

The first thing you can do is to try to look at your situation objectively and take these things into consideration. You don’t want to act too quickly and decide to get back together on a whim. [Read: How to date your ex the second time and get second time lucky]

1. Caught in the moment

There are times when you are overcome with so much anger in the moment that you decide to break up, right off the bat. It’s important not to let your ego get in the way of finding a resolution. 

Whatever it is, your breakup may not be well-thought-out and, after the smoke clears, you may find yourself regretting your decision.

If this is the case, you should swallow your pride, put your tail between your legs, and ask for another chance. Good luck! [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding you back]

2. The situation

Maybe you and your ex decided to go your separate ways because you both found your lives going separate ways. Maybe it was a long-distance relationship, and you couldn’t take the distance.

Or maybe one of you is more hell-bent on building a career than keeping the relationship intact. Whatever your reason for your breakup, it may have been fixed now. 

You could’ve found yourself in a better place in your life now, and when it comes to getting back together – that may just be the thing that completes your period of change and growth. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works]

3. What they said

Often, we’re so caught in our own bubble, we forget to look at the bigger picture. Usually, after a breakup, friends and family will tell you to forget about your ex and move on. 

They may be right. Even if you’re brokenhearted, they probably see sides to your crumbled love story that your rose-colored glasses weren’t able to see.

But what if they keep telling you that you were stupid and crazy and you should get back with your ex? They may see that your relationship is really worth saving, after all. [Read: Should you text your ex happy birthday? 20 yes-or-no signs ad 35 texts]

If you try to see things from their perspective, they could be right. Sometimes, your friends and family know you better than you know yourself, so listening to them just this once may pay off.

4. Miserably alone

Ever had that feeling of breaking up, then being so miserable that you can’t get out of bed, and you keep thinking deep, dark, morbid thoughts? 

Some say it’s just a phase—just post-breakup drama when you have miserable feelings and you honestly believe you can’t live without your ex. [Read: 10 stages of a breakup that everyone has to go through]

However, what if that phase doesn’t go away, and you’re just not the same without your ex? What if, after years have passed, you are still not over *and you believe you can never get over* your ex? 

The clincher here is this: what if your ex feels the same way? If this is the case, then what’s stopping you two? Just get back together already!

5. Time

It’s been said that time heals all wounds. Often, people just need time to think, time to be by themselves, to be away, to grow, to realize their mistakes, and to realize what they have lost. [Read: 10 signs your rocky relationship deserves another chance]

You may have been childhood sweethearts who grew apart, but over time, you finally forgot what made you break up and all you remember are those butterflies in your stomach and how much you really love the person.

After some time, the world turned, and the universe still conspired to bring the two of you back into each other’s lives. Maybe, before, the timing was just off, and now is the time to start over. Don’t wait any longer to get back together.

6. Wavelength

You like cats and he’s allergic to them. He loves Persian food and you can’t stand the smell of spices. You like things organized and he’s a slob. [Read: Do opposites attract or push each other away? The must-know truths]

Incompatibility is one of the major drives that split up a couple. What if, after some time has passed, you have a change of heart and you find Persian cuisine irresistible?

In time, things are going to change and both of you may find yourselves more open to adjusting to your differences. Things will be different this time for you two, and you may find yourselves having more in common, after all. 

It’s more likely that you changed your mind and priorities over time and were able to put things into better perspective, making you a better match for each other. [Read: Dating your opposite – how to know if you can make it work for you]

7. Greener grass

So, the end of your relationship has come, and you can’t wait to get back into dating someone again. However, after one blind date after another and another *and still another you would rather forget*, you realize that the grass really isn’t greener on the other side.

In fact, beyond the fence is a dull, rotting wasteland and you’d rather go back to where you feel comfortable, happy, and alive.

This time, jump back over the fence, return to your grass, water it, nurture it, and see what will grow. In short, if it’s with your ex that you’d truly be happy and contented, go for it! [Read: 10 signs that prove you are still really attached to your ex]

8. Older and wiser

When you were young, you tended to be immature and impulsive. Small things often just exploded into big fights. And how many times did you threaten to break-up, until you guys finally did? 

Over time, you may find yourselves wondering if you should’ve just let those little things go, been a little more patient, and held on. 

It’s over, but now that you’re older and wiser, youj want to give your ex another chance, confident that it’s going to be different because you are both mature enough to not make the same mistakes that led to the end of the relationship the first time around. If this is you, give that love another chance. [Read: The step-by-step guide to get your ex to fall back in love with you]

9. Believing in second chances

If you’re like many of those who still believe in true love and second chances, why not give your lost love another chance? There really is no written-in-stone rule that you can’t get back together with an ex, so why not give things another shot? 

If you understand that your ex made a mistake and you have your own shortcomings, too, then maybe you’re open to forgiving, forgetting, and moving forward.

If you both still believe that you can work things out, and are willing to work on having a successful relationship, then go ahead.

10. It was the greatest ever

There’s nothing like true love. Once you’ve had it, you know it! You know you found “the one,” and the same goes for your ex. However, due to one reason or another, you had to go separate ways. [Read: 16 signs your ex seriously wants you back in their life]

You tried to get over that love you still believe was the greatest love you will ever have, but nothing worked. You just can’t get over how amazing that person is, and how perfect you are for each other, despite your individual imperfections. 

If you know deep in your heart of hearts that you had the greatest love ever, then go ahead, winning back your ex is a good idea!

11. Come to think of it… 

Whatever you fought about may not be petty, but it sure is fixable. Maybe you broke up because your ex didn’t like it when you always brought your nosy friends over, or you just lacked some romantic time due to your busy schedules. [Read: Is your ex thinking about you? Watch for these subtle signs]

Once you’ve gotten to the bottom of your problem, you’ll realize that you can both make a compromise and you can still work on a new version of your relationship.

12. Syncing

There’s a phase of your relationships when things didn’t work out because you find that you want different things in life, or that you have different priorities. You may see that your relationship is going nowhere. 

However, people change, whether through time or after something happens in their lives. They may change their mind about what they want, or they may reach a level of maturity that puts the two of you on the same wavelength now. [Read: Commitment phobia: 15 signs you’re just not ready to commit]

13. Miserable apart

Whether the breakup was awful or amicable, there’s a huge chance that you can let your ex back in if the two of you were just miserable during your time apart. 

Life just doesn’t seem to be worth living without your ex, and your ex feels the same. You both have this mutual feeling that no matter how much you argue, life is still better with each other.

14. Forgiveness

If the breakup was initiated by your ex in the first place, see how they feel about what they did. Do they regret their mistake?

Are they genuinely sorry about what happened? If you’re the erring party, do you truly feel remorseful and sorry for what you did? [Read: Should you forgive and forget? 15 guidelines to follow]

In order for you to get back together and move on from what happened, forgiveness must be established, and whoever did wrong should make it a point to hugely make up for what they did and never make the same mistake again.

15. Second chances

No matter how badly you fight and hate each other, you both believe that your relationship is still worth fighting for. You both fervently believe in second chances and that your relationship is, after all, worth rekindling. 

Whether it’s been a few days or many years, when the two of you can look each other in the eye and still believe that you can make it better this time around, then it’s best to get back together. [Read: Break up to make up: 10 ways to give love a second chance]

Struggles of getting back together

If you consider getting back together with your ex is the right decision, consider where you’ll go from here. Getting back together doesn’t necessarily mean happily ever after, as there are, of course, many hurdles you’ll need to consider.

This is especially true if your breakup hasn’t been so smooth and there’s been a lot of hurtful words and mudslinging thrown both ways.

Here are the things you should consider when you’re thinking about whether getting back together would be the best option:

1. Hit rewind? 

It’s pretty normal to miss your ex and want to rekindle an old flame – but should you?

When you were both arguing and breaking up, there were probably a lot of heated exchanges. There may have also been painful, bitter words thrown around on both sides. [Read: The power of words can make or break your relationship]

For some, there may even be threats, embarrassment, gossip, and violence. The words can’t be unsaid and the actions can’t be undone. But with some work, sincerity, and forgiveness on both ends, the two of you may be able to move on together still.

2. Breaking the news

So, after telling everyone how you hated your ex’s guts and despised basically everything about them… How are you going to break the news that you’ve gotten back together? 

This can be a little awkward, as you may feel like you owe some explanation to those closest to you. Your best bet? Just be honest. [Read: 13 signs your friends are ruining your relationship]

3. Changing your parents’ opinion

There’s also the matter of trying to change your parents’ minds about your ex. This is after coming home to them crying and furious, telling them all the “awful” things your ex did. After – maybe – conveniently exaggerating your story to paint your then-partner in a bad light.

So now that you’re back together, how can you make them like your ex again? They’ll probably tell you to just go find someone else.

4. Alienation risks

After all the drama and tears, there will be friends who will support your decision to get back together with your ex. And there will also be those who will likely think you’re crazy. [Read: How to help a guy through a breakup and be the good friend he needs]

You might risk losing the trust of your friends, as they might not get behind your decisions in the future. They might also scoff at your woes the next time you approach them about problems with your ex, who is now your partner again.

5. Social media fuss

Of course, there’s the hassle of re-adding each other on social media again. And since nothing is secret anymore, people will notice this and start talking behind your back, too. 

If that’s not all, you’ll have to change your relationship status again, and this will not go unnoticed by friends who keep a keen eye on their notifications. [Read: Why social media is killing your relationship]

6. Room for doubt

After all the trouble and heartache caused by your breakup, your relationship is not going to be the same anymore. You may both question your real motives for reconciliation. 

Research shows that those who experienced breakups and got back with their ex have higher tendencies towards distrust. That little ball of doubt in the pit of your stomach will always be there.

The first few days or weeks of getting back together may make you feel over the moon, but still, you may have that voice in the back of your head asking, “How long is this going to last this time?” Would you want to be with someone who doesn’t fully trust you?

7. Is it a new relationship? 

While it’s easy to dwell on the past and let it haunt you, getting back together means that you both have to make a conscious *and extra hard* effort to start anew. [Read: What to do when the one who got away comes back]

Is it going to be like a new relationship? You both have to figure that one out. One thing is for sure, though: if you stay as you were before and don’t make a change, then your relationship is totally doomed.

Must-know rules for getting back together with your ex

This is hard, and you want things how they were. But your relationship will never be what it once was. Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s a part of life. 

If you want this relationship back and you want it to last this time, it’s going to take some serious work. But, if you want them back in your life so much, it sounds like you’re willing to put in the effort. [Read: Why slow and steady is the key when getting back with an ex]

If you want your ex back, before running into their arms, there are some rules you should follow. You don’t want another breakup. For your heart’s sake, learn the rules for improving your relationship, as well as the steps you can take to make it work.

1. Think about it seriously

You need to think about whether this is a good idea or not. Sure, you’re emotional right now, but you also need to think with your head. 

How was the relationship? Were you genuinely happy? More importantly, what made you break up in the first place? [Read: How to repair the damage when you’ve been cheated on]

If it was something serious, like cheating, then you need to really think if this is the right person for you.

2. You both need to want it

Okay, so you both decided you’re getting back together. But it isn’t going to work unless you both are invested in making the relationship work. If one person is less enthused than the other, then why even get back together? 

The second time around isn’t going to be any easier than the first. In fact, it’s probably going to be even harder. So, make sure you both want this and are willing to change to make it work the second time around. [Read: 15 revealing questions to know if you should even be talking to your ex]

3. Treat the relationship as brand new

Yes, you have history, but if you want this to work, you’re going to need to leave the past in the past. The next time you fight, you cannot bring up things that happened in your last relationship. 

If you want this to work, you can’t make the same mistakes twice. This is why it’s crucial you think about why you broke up.

4. Take it slow

Sure, you’ve already dated them before, but this doesn’t mean you should just jump into things again and pick up where you left off. No way.

Rather, take things slow, real slow. Take your time. Whether you broke up last week or three years ago, you need to make time to get to know each other again. [Read: How to take a relationship slow but now so slow that it ends]

They may have changed, and you may have changed. Plus, if you treat it as if you’re picking up from the last relationship, you’ll probably end up down the same road.

5. Let go of the past

If you want this to work, you can’t hold on to the things they did in the past. Let it go! If you’re wanting them back, even if they cheated on you, you’ll need to let it go.

Now, you shouldn’t go back if they cheated on you, but if this is what you want, you can’t hold it over their heads. You’re making the decision to be with them again, so drop the past. [Read: How to show respect and better love in your relationship]

6. Create boundaries

Ah yes, boundaries. The idea of creating boundaries sounds harsh. But we need them! If you’ve learned from the past, then you are well aware of the boundaries that need to be implemented.

For example, if you spending too much time at work was a reason for the breakup, then you need to commit to reducing the amount of time you spend at work. It’s about compromising.

7. What do you want from this relationship?

At some point, you need to think about what your goal is with this person. Why are you going back to them? How do you see this relationship evolving in two years? Five years? [Read: Couple goals – 27 real and fake things you want in a relationship]

You need to discuss the relationship seriously and what you’re expecting from it. Otherwise, it’s pointless to get back together.

8. Learn how to communicate

You’re probably thinking you know how to communicate, but you don’t, or else you’d still be together. Most of the issues that can contribute to the end of a relationship stem from either a lack of communication or miscommunication. 

Either way, figure out what’s not working in this aspect. Are you letting everything bottle up inside of you? How do you express your feelings? [Read: Communication exercises for couples – easy games to be a better lover]

9. Focus on intimacy

This is always a problem for couples who are disconnected. For whatever reason, there was a disconnect in your relationship which led to your breakup.

You both need to agree to focus on intimacy in the relationship. This isn’t just about sex, it’s more than that. It’s kissing, hugging, touching, and laughing. Just experiencing loving human connection.

10. Always be honest

It’s hard, but if you’re not honest with your partner, then who can you be honest with? From this point on, you need to make the decision on whether or not you’re going to practice honesty. 

If you’re not willing to, then this isn’t the right person for you. But, if you decide to be honest, you’ll see your entire relationship change for the better. [Read: The non-negotiables in relationships you shouldn’t compromise on]

11. Be patient

Your relationship isn’t going to be perfect overnight. You share a past, so you’re going to need to work on the issues which led to your breakup. 

Plus, getting to a good place in a relationship always takes time. You are going to have to reconnect again and build the trust that was lost.

How to get your ex back after the relationship ended

If you’ve decided that you really should get back together with your ex – and you have a specific ex in mind – here’s how you can try to get back into their loving arms.

Once you’ve made up your mind to try and give it another shot with a past love, you can follow these steps and stages of getting back together to ensure that you do it right. [Read: Does your ex still want you? How to decode their deepest desires]

1. Start off with an apology

This would only apply if the wound of your breakup is still pretty recent. Breakups are a two-way thing. Even if it was caused by your ex, there’s still a possibility that you let go of words that you wish you could take back. 

To ease you back into your ex’s good graces, it’s always a good idea to apologize for the things you may have said and done to contribute to the demise of your relationship.

Be as sincere as you can be, and if possible, try to do this in person. The fact that your ex seems interested in talking to you may be a sign that there’s a possibility that they will take you back.

Who knows, you might even reconcile right then and there! [Read: 28 Heartfelt ways to say you’re sorry and apologize to someone you love]

2. If the breakup isn’t recent, send your ex a text or a private message

Calling or just showing up at your ex’s place may be too forward and too confrontational. It might make your ex completely defensive and they’ll just shoot you down before you can even bring up the possibility of being together again. Often, it’s better if you send a message instead, just to give your ex some time to think about whether to reply or not.

If your ex replies amicably enough, then great! If not, don’t take it too personally. Your ex might be suspicious of your message. 

Try to send another message at another time, and keep your fingers crossed that you’ll get a response.

If after about three messages, spanning over the course of a week or two, you still get no response, there’s a huge chance that getting back together is out of the question. [Read: How to ask someone out over text and get that satisfying “yes”]

3. Ask your ex out over the phone

Once you get to messaging each other on a more or less regular basis, give your ex a call. It’s up to you if you want your ex to hear just how smitten you still are! After the preliminary chit-chat, ask your ex to hang out with you, even if it’s just as friends.

Yes, it may be deceptive to tell your ex that it’s just as friends, but immediately confessing that you’re still attracted to them might take your ex by surprise. The key here is going through the motions slowly but surely. 

Also, make sure that the date has a very casual feel to it. Avoid any romantic settings. If possible, have the “friendly date” in a coffee shop or a restaurant during daylight hours. [Read: How to date your ex again]

4. Reconnect with your ex’s friends

Once you’re back to hanging out with each other, it may also be a good idea to get back in touch with your ex’s friends and family. Don’t act like your breakup never happened. 

Instead, act like someone who has been away for a while, but would just like to catch up. Keep your cool, and don’t act all possessive.

One of the key ways you can try to get back with your ex is by going through their friends. Your ex may be more easily persuaded by a friend who seems to think that you’ve changed for the better, or that a second try might do you both good. [Read: How to reconnect with old friends and rebuild your lost friendships]

5. Reminisce about the good times

When you’re on your third date (or maybe even on your first, if you want to move things quickly), you might want to bring up your old relationship. 

The way your ex responds to this prompt depends on how your relationship was. Their reaction actually clues you in on your chances of getting back together.

If they recall the good old days, they might still see you as someone they can fall back in love with.

On the other hand, if your ex seems to see your relationship as a waste of time or a very trying phase in their life, then you need to work on convincing your ex that it won’t be like that the second time around. [Read: 15 Signs your ex is confused about their wants and feelings and what to do]

6. Show your ex how much you’ve changed

If you’re still the same person whom your ex decided to leave, then asking for them to take you back is like asking them to go through the pain all over again. You need to highlight some of the things that you’ve changed about yourself for the better.

For instance, you may show signs that you’re now more sensitive to their feelings by showing empathy. You may tell your ex that you’ve decided to join a program for controlling bad habits like smoking, drinking, gambling, or even anger issues if these are factors that contributed to the breakup.

You could also talk about how you’ve decided to finally pursue a career. This can then make your ex consider that giving you a second chance might not be such a bad idea. [Read: How to recreate your sexual chemistry with your ex]

7. Try to woo your ex again

Even if you show your ex that you’ve changed for the better, you also have to show that the parts your ex loved are still there. Look back at how you were able to catch your ex’s attention originally, and use this to attract them a second time.

You may have met during a music event, so you can go to another one to relive the memories. Your ex may have fallen for your great taste in movies and literature, so you can regale them with stories of what you’ve seen and read. 

Maybe your ex fell in love with your carefree, devil-may-care attitude. You can show that side of yourself by going out on a spontaneous trip, but still keeping responsibilities in mind. [Read: 20 unconventional date ideas to go on]

8. Emphasize why you want to get back together

Throughout all these fun dates and subtly romantic hints, your ex might still not understand why you’re trying to win them back. It’s clear that you’re not just after a tumble in bed, but you have to make it clear that your intentions include getting back together for good.

This is ultimately all up to you and your own personal reasons. But one of the most effective things you might bring up is the fact that life just isn’t the same without your ex’s presence. You can explain how different it was, and how much better it could be if you were to reconcile.

Another reason you can state is that you’ve never been able to find anyone else who makes you feel the way your ex did. Of course, you’ll have to own up to the fact that you have been dating other people. But you’re both adults and your ex is bound to understand. [Read: Will my ex come back? 26 reasons and signs they regret leaving you]

9. He or she is the one

One of the many reasons people break up is because of commitment issues. Your ex may have left because they didn’t think you’d commit completely. 

You can change their mind and get them back by actually proposing marriage. And yes, even women can do this, but it takes a woman with a lot of guts to pull this off.

But before you start planning a huge proposal, you have to consider the odds that your ex may or may not accept it. Don’t use your proposal to pressure your ex, as this may just lead to you getting disappointed. [Read: 16 signs your ex also wants you back]

If all else fails and your ex doesn’t want you in their life anymore, don’t be afraid to ask for help from a professional, licensed marriage and family therapist if you think you can’t handle the rejection.

Why you shouldn’t think of getting back with your ex

Maybe you’re still on the fence and still not sure if you should get back together with your ex. Sometimes there is a reason why the past belongs in the past. It is a great place to visit, but you know that you wouldn’t want to live there. 

Getting back with your ex can become the greatest form of self-sabotage. While it might be so tempting, and you find yourself so drawn to its appeal, it is best to ignore its false charms.

1. You are denying yourself and your partner the happiness that both deserve

Happiness is an abstract term, and one cannot really quantify it. Ask yourself this question: were you truly happy with your ex? If so, then why did you break up with them in the first place? [Read: 10 reasons you shouldn’t give your ex another chance]

Remember that happiness is more than the butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling that you get every time you are with them. It is the degree of comfort that one feels, the feeling of peace, of affirmation when one is around that person. 

Getting back with your ex will deny both of you the happiness of meeting someone new.

2. Only ghosts dwell in the past

The reason why many people find that they cannot move on is that they tend to live in the past, very much as ghosts do. Like ghosts, these people find themselves haunting places that would be oddly familiar to them.

They tend to dwell on distant memories, and cling to feelings of regret. [Read: Signs your past relationship is holding you back]

The past is already gone from your sight and it only prevents you from living in the present. More importantly, being a ghost will prevent you from pursuing the possibility of a happier future. Remember this: even ghosts have to move on.

3. It becomes exhausting

Once we find ourselves falling into the trap of familiarity, this trap can be be emotionally draining. What we thought would make us happy is now dull, and emotionally tiring. You also find yourself constantly questioning your motives, and wondering if this is what you want.

4. The pain of holding on hurts, sometimes even more than letting go

Perhaps, one of the hardest things one has to face in life is to let go of the people we hold dear. However, sometimes holding on to something that you know won’t last actually hurts even more.

Why? Because the more tightly you hold on to something that you know wouldn’t stay, the more you deceive yourself. [Read: How to meet “The One” without appearing desperate]

The emotional highs of getting back with someone you’ve been with and had deep feelings for in the past can be overwhelming, but you have to ask yourself: what am I really holding on to?

Remember that you have to give yourself real answers. Life is not a bad daytime soap opera.

5. Deception is a two-way street of harm

While deceiving yourself can be painful, deceiving your former partner is a red line that can hurt even more for both of you.

If both of you find yourselves coming back to each other’s arms for reasons you cannot fully understand, then you can never give yourselves the peace that you both deserve to have. [Read: How to fall out of love when you see no future]

Instead, you have resigned yourselves to a world of fantasy, where everything is remedied with empty but dramatic romantic gestures and conflict is avoided at all costs. Deception ends in a slap in the face, because the cold hard truth hurts.

6. You don’t allow yourselves to grow

Letting go of someone can be healthy, especially if you know that the relationship didn’t allow you to grow as a person. As a couple, you didn’t evolve. 

Instead, you found yourselves stuck. This could come in the form of the bad habits that made you the worst possible version of yourself. [Read: 16 signs you were just settling in an unhappy relationship]

You could also find yourself questioning your self-worth. An ideal relationship would allow you to grow as a person. Before you think of even going back to your ex, ask yourself this: am I a better person with or without this person by my side?

7. You’re using convenience as an excuse

You find yourself thrown into the dating pool, and you don’t like any of the fish that seem to be headed in your direction. Your solution? Latch on to the most convenient person you can think of: your ex.

The reason why you did it might be irrational. Perhaps you’ve just missed the concept of being in a relationship, regardless of who it’s with. [Read: How to get over an ex – 17 steps to heal ASAP in the healthiest way]

Perhaps you have held onto the fear that it doesn’t “get any better than this.” But if you’re holding on to someone you don’t visualize your future with, why bother?

8. Love is never a good enough reason for staying

This is the hardest truth that anyone who has been in a relationship would eventually learn. Love is more than just a feeling. Because when it comes right down to it, love becomes a choice. 

Those lovey-dovey feelings would fade in just a few months into the relationship. Soon enough, you will be seeing the flaws that you were perhaps too “blind” to see before. [Read: Loving someone too much – what it means and why and how it’s bad for love]

Ultimately, “love” will just fly out the window when you see each other as more “human”, and you don’t like what you see. Ask yourself: do I see myself growing old with this person? 

Love isn’t the only thing that should hold a relationship together, because love can so easily be duped by a cocktail of other emotions. Other elements matter too, like stability, support, personal growth, and protecting your mental or physical health.

This is why relationships can get downright complicated and scary. While getting back with your ex is not necessarily a bad thing, one must tread lightly when it comes to choosing that path. Remember that “love” can be deceiving. These feelings can cause one to make irrational judgments.

[Read: Is there ever a situation where you should date your ex?]

So, is getting back together with your ex a good option for you? Even if you have considered all your options, read all the signs, and consulted every rulebook there is, only your heart knows what it wants – and you have to stay true to it!