First Week After a Breakup: The Hardest Parts & 15 Steps to Survive and Heal

Breakups are hard, but the first week after a breakup is the worst. Use this guide on surviving the first week after a breakup.

So your relationship has ended, and you’ve found yourself in the first week after a breakup. Maybe this was a long time coming, or maybe you were blindsided and the relationship that you thought was going to make it forever is now over.

Whatever your situation is, the grief is hard– especially if it is coupled with shock at the sudden ending of the relationship. This kind of grief and shock can make you feel disoriented, bewildered, and heartbroken. 

Just know that this too shall pass. No matter how heartbroken you are, you will eventually be able to heal and move on. But first, you have to get through the hardest part: the first week.

No, you are not going to move on from your heartbreak in a week. But that is about the time it takes for the initial shock to wear off. This time can be very healing, or very damaging, depending on how you handle it. We have steps you can take to make sure that those seven days don’t destroy you, and that you come out on the other side ready to tackle all of the days to come.

Dos and Don’ts of the first week after a breakup

Immediately after your world is changed in such an intense way, the only person that you should be worried about is yourself. Read on for the dos and don’ts of what to do immediately following a breakup.

1. Don’t check their social media

Unplug from social media for today, and if possible, stay off for as much as you can this first week after a breakup. This is especially true for you if you find yourself stalking your ex’s social media.

There’s no need for angry statuses, immediate relationship status changes, or hurried deleting of photos. You certainly do not need to see what your ex is doing on social media either– that is not going to help you. 

This might be a hard step to take, but it’s a very important one. So stay off of your ex’s social media for at least a week post-breakup. [Read: Social media detox – ways to wean yourself off social media]

2. Don’t broadcast the end of your relationship yet

It’s not wise to broadcast the breakup widely immediately. That’s going to take some emotional reserve and you will have plenty of time to tell everyone you broke up when you are feeling better. 

Instead, tell a single trusted friend or family member so that they can check up on you. This is your time to stay in bed eating ice cream, marathon a guilty pleasure show on Netflix, and cry as much *or as little* as you need to. [Read: Signs you’re lovesick and easy ways to get out of it]

3. Do alert your support network

Chances are, you can’t take more than one day off for self-care because unfortunately, a broken heart isn’t considered a legitimate medical excuse at most workplaces. Because of this, you are going to need some serious help from your friends to be a functioning member of society today.

When you’re letting the people closest to you know about what’s been going on, don’t feel like you need to give everyone all the details right away. Your friends are going to be more than happy to help you through today however you need it, but be sure to tell them what you would like.

4. Do accept that you are going to feel bad for a while

Feeling bad sucks. It makes perfect sense that you are miserable to be stuck in this situation, especially if you didn’t choose to be here. You need to accept that you are going to feel bad for the week after the breakup, and that isn’t likely to go away soon. 

But remember– it will go away. Take time to grieve knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and have hope that better days are ahead.

5. Do keep yourself busy

Maybe there is a dish that you can cook that your ex hated, a new movie you can watch, or a trip you can plan. Find some things to be excited about in your newly single life, and don’t be afraid to ask your friends for help keeping you busy with new hobbies or outings. [Read: Productive ways to learn to love the single life]

Now that you’ve identified a couple of good parts about being on your own, put one of them into practice tonight. Maybe that’s watching a movie, or going out for sushi – whatever it is, take the time to enjoy your freedom and do something solely because it’s your favorite thing to do.

6. Do accept that the relationship is over

Denial is a powerful thing. The first 24 hours you are likely just grappling with what happened, and not doing any deep thinking about the state of your relationship. However, now that the dust has settled a bit, you have to put an end to any denial you may be having and accept the end of the relationship.

The fact of the matter is that, no matter how the relationship ended, it ended. A relationship is not a democracy– it does not require the consent of two parties to end it.

As sad as you are, you need to accept that your relationship is over. In order to move forward and heal, you have to accept the relationship is over the first week after a breakup. 

7. Do reclaim and clean your space

Even if you didn’t share a living space with your ex, everything can remind you of them. Now that you’re broken up, make the space your own. You can do this by rearranging furniture, or by being sure that any empty areas are filled with your own possessions. [Read: 15 life lessons you can learn from your own breakup]

Consider cleaning and organizing your closets– anything to get your mind off of your breakup and onto something productive. Afterward, you will feel better in a space that is clean, organized, and free of any traces of your ex.

8. Don’t text or try to see your ex the first week after a breakup

The most important thing in the first week after a breakup is to avoid your ex. This is a fragile and delicate time of healing, and you two need to stay away from each other. This includes social media and texting.

You can decide how much you want to be involved with your ex later, but for now, it is best to just stay away from them until you’ve healed a bit. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

9. Don’t have breakup sex

There are so many reasons this is a bad idea. One, is that it prolongs the breakup. It gives the spurred party hope, which is a cruel thing to do to someone you don’t intend to be with.

Two is that it keeps you and your ex together, which is the exact opposite of a breakup. If you really want to heal the first week after a breakup- you need to avoid each other. [Read: Reasons why the no contact rule always works!]

10. Don’t get drunk

You may want to get hammered in an attempt to ease the pain of the breakup. This is very unlikely to make you feel better. Avoid the temptation to numb the pain with the bottle, especially the first week after a breakup. Instead, seek healthier outlets like social events and working out. 

11. Do hit the gym

Working out is often suggested for those going through a breakup. While going to the gym is the last thing you might want to do, it is one of the best choices you could make for yourself right now.

Exercise is a natural antidepressant, plus going to the gym gets you out of the house. It’s a great and healthy distraction from the pain of a breakup. [Read: Gym crush – 17 ways to approach a guy & get him interested at the gym]

12. Do set boundaries

Unfortunately, a breakup can have a lot of messy loose ends to deal with. Take the time to decide what the next steps are for your ex, and how to draw healthy boundaries.

Look on the calendar for any events that you expected to attend as a couple and figure out how you are going to handle them solo.

Decide if you want to try to be friends with your ex, or is this a scorched earth situation? Can you stand seeing them out and about, or do you need to avoid them indefinitely?

Whatever it is, make a plan and stick to it. Remember that you are not doing this to punish anyone, but to protect yourself from further pain. [Read: Why does my ex want to be friends? 25 q’s & reasons to read their mind]

13. Do reflect on your breakup

Take the time to reflect on the breakup, but only when you are ready and have some distance. It might take more than the first week after the breakup, but hopefully, you will be able to see all aspects of your past relationship- both good and bad. This kind of self-reflection can be invaluable for the success of future relationships.

14. Don’t try to get revenge

You may be angry at your ex for a very valid reason. But don’t try to get revenge on them. Not because they don’t deserve it, they probably do, but because it will only be more damaging for you in the long run.

To get revenge you have to ruminate on the breakup, making plans and obsessing over this single bad event. Keeping that kind of hate in your heart is not worth the reaction you might get. It is easier and healthier for you to just move on.

15. Do try a new hobby

Is there something you have always wanted to try? Such as a kickboxing class, or maybe learning a new language. Whatever it is, now is the time to grow and learn just for the sake of enjoyment. [Read: Steps to get your self esteem back after a heartbreak]

16. Don’t hookup before you are ready

Your friends may be pressuring you into hooking up with someone to get your mind off of your ex. While their intentions are good, this is a misguided effort.

Hooking up and dating before you are ready will not only be a disaster for you, but also for whoever you are hooking up with. It’s better to wait until you are ready for romance again. [Read: How to start dating again – signs you’re ready to get back in the game]

Healing the first week after a breakup

If you’ve made it through these hours, you are going to be able to conquer anything else you have to face from this breakup. Even if it took everything you’ve got, you have made it through the worst part of this process and it is only going to get easier from here.

[Read: How to heal and love again after a breakup]

As difficult and painful as it may seem, follow these steps to deal with your breakup within the first week. It can be the difference between a quick recovery from heartbreak or a lingering, numbing pain that lasts several months!