Feminine Traits: Where Do You Fall in the Spectrum of Femininity?

As a woman, do you consider yourself to have the common feminine traits we all hear so much about, or are you dancing to the beat of your own drum?

Despite years of progression, it seems that society is still keen to fit women into a specific box with a label on it, like feminine traits. Maybe you don’t want to be defined by a box or a label. Perhaps you simply prefer to fly by the seat of your pants, be who you are, whatever that is, and refuse to adhere to so-called ‘norms.’ 

You know what that’s called? Bravery, and it’s admirable!

The most common feminine traits are considered to be things which all women must possess in order to be considered feminine, but what if you lack one? Does that make you less of a woman? Do you even care if it does? And, has femininity changed from the days when these traits were considered the norm?

[Read: How to be yourself: Unfake your life and love being you]

We all have a world of choice and it’s a wonderful thing to consider. While certain corners of society might have failed to catch on yet, they will eventually. For now, it’s simply a case of being the person you are, whether you exhibit masculine traits, feminine traits, or traits which encompass both or even none!

In my opinion, as long as you’re acting as a kind and good person, does it really matter about anything else? Do labels really matter? None of that matters!

There has been a lot of talk lately about femininity and what it should be, what it should look like in the modern day, and whether or not we’ve strayed from the so-called feminine traits of old. Of course we’ve strayed away from them, because times have changed drastically! The world is totally different to back in the day, and trust me, that’s a very good thing indeed. 

[Read: How to be comfortable in your own skin – 20 ways to love being you]

Women are no longer required to stay at home and birth babies until they’re no longer able. They no longer must focus all their care and attention on other people and not think about themselves. Women no longer have to be ‘seen and not heard’. And thank goodness for all of that!

I am a woman, yet I consider myself to have both masculine and feminine traits. I’m proud of that, because it means I’m a well-rounded person. But it also means I’m just being myself. I totally appreciate that some of you reading this might not identify yourself with any gender, and that’s fine too. It doesn’t matter what you identify yourself as there is no need for a label! As long as you’re acting as a good human being, labels are irrelevant.

[Read: Who are you? How to fine-tune your internal compass]

How do the feminine traits of old measure up to today’s age?

These feminine traits are interesting to talk about, because it shows you just how far women have come in terms of being pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen, to these days when we’re knocking on the CEO’s door and threatening to break the glass ceiling at every eventuality. 

[Read: 20 subtle tips to be more feminine without losing who you are]

The most common feminine traits that are mentioned even in today’s age are: 

– Empathy

– Gentleness

– Kindness

– Compassion 

– A caring nature

– Sweetness

– Nurturing

– Tolerant

– Submissive

– Respectful 

I’m all for that list apart from the last two. 

Okay, as far as feminine traits go, respectful I can get on board with, but only if the person I’m supposed to be respectful towards actually shows me the same amount of respect. As for submissive? Erm, no, thank you.

I consider myself to be an empathic person. Someone who is gentle, kindle, compassionate, caring, sweet, nurturing and very tolerant. I sound wonderful, don’t I? The thing is, that is my good side. I have a bad side just like everyone else. I have days when I’m sarcastic to the point of rudeness, impatient, snap because I’m tired, and sometimes I’m lazy just for the hell of it. This is normal, and it doesn’t make me less feminine!

However, I never have days when I’m submissive. 

[Read: How to awaken your divine feminine and connect to your inner goddess]

Why? Because I have no idea why I would ever need to be. Think about your own life and ask the same question. Do you ever need to be submissive to show that you have feminine traits? 

When I refuse the label of submissive, it doesn’t mean that I’m constantly domineering and loud, it simply means that I don’t take unnecessary crap from anyone! Instead, I simply walk away from situations that don’t deserve my time. It doesn’t mean I’m deferring to another person or being submissive, it simply means I’d rather spend my time doing something fun and constructive. Life is too short.

[Read: Girly stuff stereotypes: 15 typical things not all girls like]

Now, if you’re talking about the type of submission that Mr. Grey seems to like, well, that’s something else altogether. However, I assume when the Elizabethans were figuring out what submissive meant, they didn’t mean the Red Room that Anastasia seems to like so much!

How have feminine traits changed?

From the list we’ve explored, it seems that they haven’t changed much at all, we’re simply bolder and less submissive than our sisters back in the day. If you lived in Victorian times, you were expected to keep your mouth shut, be seen and not heard. These days, we’re more likely to be heard and not seen. Hey, I say be proud of that! Be everything you want to be and then some. 

Feminine traits are admirable in many ways, because they allow us to be kind and empathic towards other people. This doesn’t necessarily mean that in order to exhibit feminine traits you must be a woman either, because men, women, non-binary people, and everyone else can all have feminine traits. We can all have masculine traits too. [Read: Masculine and feminine traits and how they’re different from each other]

Some might have more of one than the other, and other people might have an even mix. We’re all different and on some days we might feel like being less empathic and kind than others! That’s normal too and to be expected.

Relying upon female traits to get you through life may not be the most successful route however. You see, we need a mixture of traits to deal with any situation that comes our way. A well known masculine trait is strength of character. Now, does that mean a woman can’t show that trait? Of course not! Most of the women I know are certainly strong! 

Equally, a man should also show empathy towards those around him. It doesn’t make him more feminine either. It simply makes him a good human being who is showing kindness and understanding towards someone else and their potential problems and feelings. To me, that’s just a good person, not someone showing specific traits!

[Read: Being sex positive: What it is and why you need to get on board]

We are what we are!

Traits are traits and probably shouldn’t be labeled according to gender. In many ways, that’s what has changed most of all, and something which should be celebrated. 

We no longer need to identify as a specific gender and can simply be ourselves. That means being kind to others, showing empathy, being tolerant, gentle, honest and patient, yet it also means being strong, standing up for yourself, having drive and determination, and bravery. A mixture of different traits is the best route towards a happy and fulfilling life, but submissive? No, ain’t no time for that!

[Read: How to exude femininity and use your “womanly wiles” in your favor]

The most common feminine traits are still in circulation today, and that’s a great thing. Yes, we’ve changed but that’s because our lives have changed and we adapted to survive.