Facebook Relationship Status: 30 Must-Knows & Why It Matters to Some People

It seems that a huge amount of importance is still put on a Facebook relationship status. But do we really need to be shouting it from the rooftops?

Since when did your Facebook relationship status mean so much? You’d think the fact that you’re official in real life would mean the most but it seems like your social media status is more important nowadays.

And truthfully? That’s a little silly. It’s just social media. Who cares if people know whether or not you’re in a relationship? Does it truly matter what strangers think?

The point of a relationship is to be committed to each other in general. A Facebook status shouldn’t matter. But for many, it does. [Read: Instagram envy – how to keep things real when you’re green with envy]

Different relationship statuses on Facebook

When you look on Facebook, you’ll see several different statuses to choose from. It’s not just “single,” “in a relationship,” and “married.” Some are a little different, so let’s explain each one in turn.

1. In a civil union

This means that a same-sex couple has joined a union that has basically the same rights as a marriage. This is often done when marriage isn’t allowed in that particular region. [Read: 20 types of lovers and relationships you’ll come across in the dating world]

2. In a domestic partnership

This is a couple who are not married but live together and basically live as a married couple without the paper.

3. It’s complicated

This is the go-to Facebook status for those who are in relationships that can’t be defined for one reason or another. Maybe they’re on and off, or maybe it’s all just a little up in the air. Basically, they don’t count themselves as single.

4. In an open relationship

This is a committed relationship between two people but they have an agreement that both can have sexual and even romantic relations with other people. [Read: Open relationship – 38 rules, questions, and advice to talk about it as a couple]

Unfortunately, people put too much faith in a Facebook relationship status

It’s as if being official on Facebook means they’re more committed to you than they would be otherwise. It’s a silly thought, and yet, many people think it’s true.

Some people actually put so much faith in checking off a specific box that they’ll even end something great with a person who doesn’t want to put it on Facebook. For obvious reasons, this is super harmful to their love life.

You have to ask yourself this question: why does it matter to you so much? Do you care about the relationship or what others think? [Read: 15 things to remember about how Facebook ruins relationships]

Why might people feel the need to become Facebook Official?

Each person has a different reason why they feel the need to request this from their loved one. You can’t categorize wanting to be Facebook official under one collective condition because the reasons vary, and rightly so. You have to know which ones are beneficial for your relationship.

Of course, there are good reasons for this and some not-so-good. Here are common reasons why people feel the need to become Facebook Official:

1. So family and friends can see updates about your personal life

Social media keeps us all connected, and this is one of the many reasons why posting something personal can be a good thing. [Read: 20 things happy couples don’t do in a perfect relationship]

2. To show people it’s okay to share your experiences without fear of judgment

Do what you want. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to post about you and your partner on social media.

3. To show how proud you are of your partner

Being proud of your partner is not equivalent to bragging. You have to look at your intent. Are you doing this so that people will know you have an awesome partner, or do you want people to know how awesome they are?

There’s a big difference. Think about that.

4. Wanting validation and attention

More likes and comments won’t guarantee a satisfying or happy relationship. [Read: 16 attention whore signs to keep an eye on]

5. Because your family and friends said it was necessary

Just because someone else says it’s the right thing to do, doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing for you.

6. Your partner told you to

This is not the basis of how well a couple treats each other.

Yes, you can humor your partner, but are you really willing to let your partner judge the success of your relationship on whether or not you’re willing to click a tab that says, “in a relationship”? [Read: Toxic relationship – what it is, 107 signs, causes, and types of love that hurts you]

7. You don’t trust your partner

Becoming Facebook Official is not a contract stating that your partner is unavailable. Your promise to each other is what matters most.

If you feel the need to post your relationship just so no one else will flirt with your partner, think again. It’s the person’s intentions you should be considering, not their social media profile.

8. To make someone else feel bad

If you want to make your ex or your partner’s ex jealous, then you’re doing this for all the wrong reasons. If you dislike someone and want to rub their single status in their face, you are, again, doing this for the wrong reason. [Read: 20 stops to fix a toxic relationship and change before it’s too late]

9. To make your partner feel good about themselves

If you’re just doing this to make your partner feel better about themselves, you need to question why your partner feels this way at all.

Changing your relationship status on Facebook is not going to change your partner’s insecurities. [Read: Dating vs. in a relationship – signs to know your true status]

If you struggle with low self-esteem or a lack of confidence, you might find some extra security in making your relationship Facebook Official. For some reason, having that public commitment makes you feel better about your partner staying loyal.

Being the type to rely heavily on your partner posting cute pictures of the two of you and needing to have a relationship official on social media to be happy isn’t healthy.

If you feel really strongly about your Facebook relationships status being marked, it could be a problem down the road. [Read: 34 big relationship red flags most people completely ignore early on]

11. You care too much about what people think

If you really care about your public image, having your relationship Facebook Official will mean more to you. You want to make sure everyone knows you’re with that person. [Read: How to stop giving a damn about what other people think]

12. You’re the type who feels loved by public displays

There are many different forms of love to give and receive. You could be the type of person who feels cared for by compliments or the type of person who loves physical affection.

There’s also the type of person who feels most loved when their partner is being affectionate in public. That means a Facebook relationship status will mean more to you than it does to other people.

Why a Facebook relationship status doesn’t matter in the long run

Ultimately, having your Facebook relationship status confirm you’re with someone doesn’t matter. It can be a cute thing to have, but it’s not necessary, and here’s why. [Read: The happy couple’s guide to social media etiquette]

1. Your partner’s loyalty doesn’t depend on Facebook

The fact that some people gain a sense of security from having their partner confirm their relationship on Facebook is just silly. It literally does nothing.

They’ll be loyal if they’re a good person. If they’re not, then they won’t be. A Facebook relationship status won’t make a difference and therefore, it doesn’t really matter. [Read: Unique traits that make a person trustworthy]

2. The measure of their feelings should be shown in person

It’s really unhealthy to get into the habit of measuring your partner’s affection based on their social media interactions with you. It’s not good at all.

How they feel about you should be evident when you’re together. It doesn’t really matter how they treat you on Facebook unless they’re being bad to you. Their actions in person are what truly matter.

3. It can actually cause problems

There’s a negative impact the Facebook relationship status could have on the two of you.

If one of you is overly sensitive about the other not wanting it to be Facebook Official, you can get into pointless arguments.

Recognize that it doesn’t serve a purpose so you can both be happy as you are. [Read: 20 relationship problems that push a couple apart or bring them closer]

4. Some people don’t even notice it

Truthfully, some people don’t even look at the relationship status. They don’t even pay attention to it. So does it even matter then?

There are very few people who see, comment, or like the change in your relationship status. Fretting over it will only bring negativity into your relationship. Therefore, it shouldn’t matter. [Read: Clues that will tell you if she’s single or taken]

5. It doesn’t have any significance to your relationship

Unless you met on Facebook, making your relationship Facebook Official won’t be significant. What’s the point? It’s just for the public to see that you’re not single. [Read: Facebook dating – can you have a real relationship only online?]

But Facebook isn’t a dating site… So why should that matter on a social profile? It doesn’t make your relationship any better or provide anything special. And that just goes to show it really doesn’t matter much.

6. The quality of your relationship doesn’t tie into Facebook

Or any other form of social media. Just because you’re official on Facebook doesn’t mean your relationship is better than someone else’s.

That’s why it’s kind of pointless. It doesn’t really serve a real purpose for your relationship. [Read: Signs your partner is ready to settle but you’re not]

When do people think it’s okay to become Facebook Official?

This doesn’t just apply to men. Even women have different thoughts about when and how they should become Facebook Official. It’s not a gender-motivated action. The reasons are based on social or interpersonal feelings within the relationship.

For transparency’s sake, here are the times when it’s most appropriate to broach the subject and finally express the confirmation of your relationship status on social media.

1. When you’ve been dating for more than a month exclusively

When you’re seeing someone on a regular basis, i.e. twice or three times a week, it’s more than enough time to decide whether or not you’ve decided to date exclusively.

Once you do, it’s okay to finally talk about telling people that you’re seeing each other, through a post or status update on Facebook. [Read: Spot on tips for raising the idea of being exclusive]

2. When you’ve met each other’s friends and family

Guys don’t like surprising their friends and family with news of a strange woman on their profile. They feel that it’s better to get these things out of the way in person, rather than announce it on social media.

3. When you’re sure you’re committed to this person

There is nothing worse than changing your relationship status on Monday and then reverting it to “single” on Friday. Not only is this embarrassing, but it also serves as an unnecessary public announcement that you and your partner are fickle as hell. [Read: A man’s view on why women are so fickle in love]

Social media relationships and men

Usually, when you ask a guy when it’s okay to finally become Facebook Official, they answer that they don’t decide, their girlfriends do. But that’s just a few people out of many.

When most men stop to consider the importance of becoming Facebook Official, they don’t think it’s a big deal at all.

This means that they will either agree to become Facebook Official without any complaints or not bother at all if the decision is left up to them. Some women think it’s important for a guy to change their relationship status, while others are perfectly happy with posting pictures of their partners.

Still, there are a lot of men who think being Facebook Official is necessary, and it’s not something they’re likely to give up easily. [Read: Women’s relationship issues that all men must know]

Why might someone refuse to become Facebook Official?

There are also many reasons why men forgo the Facebook Official status. Most are the same reasons women refuse to do it, but there are a few explanations that only guys can understand.

1. It’s cheesy

Not everyone is well-equipped to cheese it out with their partners. Some people abhor the idea because they aren’t programmed to appreciate the mushy feelings that being Facebook Official can bring.

2. It’s unnecessary

In a way, it really is unnecessary—especially if everyone important to you already knows that you’re in a relationship with this person. Ask yourself this: why do you need to become Facebook Official?

The reason may bring out the real motivation that’s not related to social media. [Read: 50 secrets and early signs of a good relationship that make a great one]

3. It’s suffocating

Some guys will refuse to become Facebook Official because it feels more like a command rather than a request. Some women may even consider breaking up if their request for an online status change is denied.

4. It’s not the right time yet

The right time is when you’ve both resolved your issues in the real world about telling everyone you know about your relationship. It could be that your guy just wants to announce the news to the people he knows in person, rather than post it out of nowhere on Facebook.

5. It makes them feel that something’s wrong with the relationship

Some guys instinctively know that something is wrong with your request to become Facebook Official. If they think that you think it’s a confirmation of your relationship, then they’re probably right in thinking that you’re putting more value on your Facebook Official status than your status as a committed couple in real life. [Read: How to face relationship challenges and overcome them as a couple]

Focus on real-life fun rather than social media

A lot of things are going on in your life right now with this new person, who has so much more to offer you than likes and comments on Facebook. Receiving a like here and there won’t make up for the time you could have spent discussing more interesting things—like real life, for example.

So, forget Facebook, and instead, go out there and have some fun!

[Read: How Facebook ruins relationships – 15 key things to remember]

Updating your Facebook relationship status won’t change your relationship in the slightest. It really doesn’t matter in the long run and focusing on it might actually make things worse.