Does He Think I’m Not Interested? 22 Things Girls Do that Confuse Guys

You might think that playing mind games gives you the upper hand when it comes to dating. But if you do it too much, he might not think that you are not interested in him.  

You may have heard that dating is like a cat and mouse game. While this may have been the case years ago, people evolve according to the trends that happen in society. In this day and age, people appreciate honesty over the old game of pursuit. And it’s important to know if a guy you like thinks you’re not interested because of this.

Even when it comes to hooking up, guys are more appreciative of women who know the set-up, as opposed to those who think that there might be a chance at a relationship.

If you go about it the other way around, you will see that men are more likely to date you seriously if you put the idea of a relationship on the table before anything else happens.

Seeing as that didn’t work in the past because of men’s tendencies to lie their asses off, women have become reluctant to place their cards on the table before they are sure of what’s happening. From what seems to be happening in the dating pool these days, men still like the chase. The difference is that they want to know that it’s happening instead of having to guess.

Girls are still programmed to put up a barrier when they’re dating someone new. It’s a good plan, but you have to know when you’re putting up too many walls. It’s easier said than done, but there are ways to do that.

You can wait until a guy proves his worth without making it seem like you’re uninterested. Be nice to them. Graciously accept their dates. Don’t lie to them just to prove a point. It’s not a big deal! You’re just being a good person, and that’s enough for them.

Does he think I’m not interested – Things women do that push guys away

There’s a preconceived notion that women tend to play games with men, just to see how much they can take. We’re here to tell you that it is definitely true.

Don’t blame us for that, because men haven’t given us much of a reason to trust them. Still, it’s better to know what makes men think you’re not interested so that you can see for yourself how it affects your love life.

1. Waiting for a specified amount of time before calling back or texting

If you think it makes you seem eager when you immediately reply to texts and calls, think again. Guys don’t even wonder why it took you a microsecond to reply. They are more concerned about whether you text them a hundred times a day or not at all. [Read: What to text a guy – 44 rules, tips and examples to start a fun conversation]

2. Not appreciating their effort

Most guys go all out when they first start seeing a girl. If you seem bored or disinterested on a date, they’ll think that you’re not at all impressed.

Sure, some of you like to act like this, so that they won’t see that you’re completely captivated. But stop holding back. If you like the restaurant, show it. If you love the flowers he bought you, say thank you. Just be appreciative. [Read: How to know if you’re dating a real gentleman]

3. Not complimenting them

It’s not necessary to compliment someone when you first meet them. However, sometimes, guys assume that they’re not good enough for you because you haven’t mentioned anything good about them.

They usually tell you things that they think will impress you, but acting unimpressed just makes them think that nothing they do will satisfy you. [Read: 30 special compliments for guys that’ll make them blush and make their day]

4. Being self-centered

If you keep talking about yourself or show obvious signs of selfishness, a guy will think that you’re more concerned about your well-being than your date. They could decide that it’s not worth liking someone who won’t like anyone else but themselves.

5. Not paying attention to them

Ignoring a guy never ends well. They’re very proud and would never admit to being needy. When they see that you’re not paying attention, just to make it seem like you’re aloof, they will find other women who will appreciate their presence.

6. Rejecting dates just to make guys think you’re busy

Women used to think that controlling when their dates happened gave them the power advantage while dating.

However, many men immediately assume that you’re rejecting them, and not the date, when you decline a date. After three rejections, almost all will decide that you’re not worth it anymore.

7. One-word answers

This passive-aggressive approach only works, and sometimes it doesn’t, with people who are in committed relationships.

Guys who have girlfriends know better. Single guys who have nothing to lose? They won’t even bother to follow up on that because they can just talk to another girl who’s interested in having a conversation. [Read: The honest reasons he hasn’t called you back]

8. Always leaving the conversation to say hi to other people

Yes, you’re popular. Yes, you have a lot of friends. But your date won’t see it that way. They’ll just think that you’re more interested in the people around you than you are in him.

9. Telling them that you want to see how things go first

This may sound legit, but guys who actually ask you to go out on a regular basis probably want more than just sex.

If you imply that you don’t want to see each other exclusively just to keep him at a distance, someone else will swoop down and take him because he is technically free to do whatever the hell he wants. [Read: How to read mixed signals and turn it into love]

10. Going home early

If you don’t have an emergency, but you still choose to leave a date before it’s supposed to end – like after dessert or coffee – a guy will immediately assume that the date didn’t go well.

You may be trying to put up an air of control over the situation, but killing off a good vibe during a date doesn’t really go well with men.

11. Not reaching out first *or only sporadically*

If you don’t ever reach out to him first, then he probably thinks that you are not on his mind at all. He assumes that if you liked him, you would contact him first – at least sometimes.

But if you never do it, then he probably will give up on you. Even if you do it sporadically, he may still be confused about whether or not you like him.

12. You’re really busy

Sure, everyone has a busy life. But there is a saying that people make time for things that are important to them.

So, if you are always talking about how busy you are and it’s difficult for you to find time to hang out with him, he might think you are full of it and just making excuses. [Read: How the perpetually busy can still find love]

13. You treat him like an option

As we just said, when something or someone is important to you, then you make time for them. And in doing so, you are not treating someone like an option.

Instead, you are telling them that they are a priority to you. So if you’re not conveying that he’s a priority – and only an option – then he might not think you are interested.

14. You’re not progressing the relationship

Whether you’re newly dating or if you’re just friends, if he doesn’t see any progress – or any hope – in furthering the relationship, then he probably thinks you don’t want to.

Sure, girls expect guys to do most of the work. However, relationships are a two-way street, so you have to put in some effort if you want it to go somewhere.

15. No one knows about him

If you haven’t told your friends or family about him, then he thinks that is a bad sign. For example, if you run into your friends when you are out and you have to introduce him, he wonders why you never told anyone about his existence in your life. And he’s going to come to a negative conclusion. [Read: Are you more than friends? 17 signs you’ve gone from talking to dating]

16. You don’t commit to plans ahead of time

If you can’t commit until the last minute when he is trying to make plans with you, then that sends a sign of disinterest.

It doesn’t matter whether it is a date or just a simple hang out, it probably seems like you are waiting for a better offer if you can’t give him a firm answer. No one likes to think that you aren’t committing to plans on purpose.

17. You only contact him when it serves your needs

It doesn’t matter why, but if he thinks that you only contact him to satisfy a need of yours, he won’t think you like him. He might think you’re just bored or you want attention from a guy.

Regardless, he will probably see these actions as self-centered. It’s not a message that says, “I am interested in you.” 

18. You make a lot of excuses

If you are just full of excuses for why you can’t see him or why you aren’t very communicative, then he will see right through it.

As we said, if someone makes excuses a lot, then people stop believing them. They could be legitimate, but it doesn’t matter. If he thinks they are bogus, then that’s what he believes. [Read: Does he like me? 41 subtle signs and body language guys can’t hide]

19. You talk about yourself all the time

When someone is interested in another person, they want to get to know them better. And in order to do that, they ask questions and focus the conversation on the other one – not themselves. So, take a look at what you talk about when you communicate with him. Is it always about you? Or are you trying to get to know him?

20. You are flaky

There are a lot of different flaky behaviors. It could be that you are always late, cancel plans at the last minute, or never know if you’re available to see him.

Whatever it is, if he perceives you as unreliable, he thinks you’re that way for a reason. He probably thinks that if you were really interested, you wouldn’t be flaky.

21. You are inconsistent 

Maybe there are times when you text him all day long. But then you go for days or weeks without contacting him at all. That confuses him.

This inconsistency doesn’t shout “I like you!” He probably assumes that when you “disappear,” someone else has your attention – and it’s not him. [Read: 22 signs he is fighting feelings for you and holding himself back]

22. You talk a lot about your ex

It doesn’t matter whether you have been broken up with your ex for years or if it just happened. If you are talking about your ex a lot, then he thinks your heart still belongs with him.

Even if you’re not saying nice things about your ex, it is still telling him that your ex is foremost on your mind, and not him.

Let him know what you want, even if it’s just by dropping a few hints

If you really like a guy, there are other ways to make sure that their intentions are admirable. You can be honest with them, and tell them that you’re looking for something serious.

Once they know that, you won’t have to worry about making yourself look less eager in front of them. [Read: The guys you should quit dating if you want real love]

The things mentioned above aren’t even what motivates men to pursue you. They say they like the chase, but the truth is they like that the woman they’re dating is independent and sure of herself.

They will see you the way you see yourself. If you’re insecure, they will pick up on that. If you’re confident about yourself, they will see it clearly and appreciate you for the beautiful person that you are.

Stop playing games, because the only one who loses is you. Don’t just be honest with men. Be honest with yourself.

Look at everything you’ve accomplished, as well as the things you need to work on. Be the best woman that you can be so you won’t have to worry about how men see you.

[Read: 40 casual questions to deeply get to know a guy you’re interested in]

Try to avoid doing these things to the guys you like if they think that you’re disinterested. You’ll see the difference in the way they treat you, and it won’t be because you manipulated them into doing it. Remember that if a guy really likes you, they won’t care whether you’re being coy or not – they just want to know that you like them back.