Do Women Like Anal Sex? Mostly No, Sometimes Yes & What to Know

There is one question most men want to know – do women like anal sex? The answer? It depends on the woman. For the most part, men are more enthusiastic! 

Anal sex is one of those taboo subjects that very few people speak openly about. It’s something we just don’t generally bring up in the run of conversation. Yet, it’s a hot topic, for sure. Do women like anal sex? That’s something many men, and many women, want to know.

The truth is that there are very few women who like anal sex.

We know that’s not something that many guys want to hear. But, that doesn’t mean all women. Also, some women may be willing to try it and perhaps find that will time and patience, they actually start to enjoy the experience.

But guys, keep in mind that anal sex is uncomfortable. There is no way to sugarcoat it. The anal region is designed to be a one-way door, and going the wrong way doesn’t generally feel great.

If you want to be able to enjoy it, then it’s all about the preparation and the mentality of it. There has to be some greater feeling that supersedes the pain to make her want to try it and even do it again. However, we can’t deny that some women find great pleasure in enjoying sex in this way.

[Read: Why do guys like anal so much and should you give the back door a try?]

Why do many men like the idea of anal sex?

Not all men want to have anal sex, but we can’t deny that many enjoy it, or at least want to try it. It’s that taboo thing again – we’re all intrigued by things that we’re “not supposed” to do.

There’s also the fact that the anus is a lot tighter than the vagina and it makes for a very intense sensation for a guy.

For a girl? Not usually that much. Many women feel no pleasure from anal sex and often discomfort instead. However, some women find it quite enjoyable. It really depends on the woman when asking do women like anal sex.

It’s entirely possible to have an anal orgasm, but these aren’t easy to come by and they require stimulation of other areas at the same time, such as the clitoris. Most women will only be able to focus on discomfort when having anal sex and won’t be looking for a great feeling from it.

The key to getting a woman to enjoy anal sex is to communicate how you feel and what it is that you enjoy about it. The internet is full of anal sex porn, but the typical experience of the women in those videos who appear to be loving it is not the reality for most women. It’s also about preparation and plenty of lube. [Read: The bottom of it: 10 misconceptions about anal sex]

What other reasons are there for the male preoccupation with anal?

There have been numerous studies to find what it is about anal sex that men crave. The truth is that there is no specific thing physically that points to why a man wants to engage in anal sex. There are, however, many theories on the subject.

One such theory is that a man enjoys anal sex specifically because there is no possibility of pregnancy. That allows him to totally enjoy the act and not be thinking about anything else.

Another theory is that it is that for a guy, anal sex is the ultimate way that a woman can give herself to him. It provides him with both power and dominance over her.

In practical terms, there is no more intimate act that a woman can give to a man. Although it is believed that a man is only guided by a purely sexual act without any emotions, it would appear that a feeling of vulnerability is a huge attraction for many men.

Despite all of this, most men will tell you that they like it because it just feels good to them. [Read: 10 surprising benefits of anal sex you had no idea about]

Why might a woman want to have anal sex?

Anal sex can be painful for a woman. In fact, even with proper preparation and plenty of lube, there is still going to be a certain amount of discomfort, at least at first. So, why would a woman want to do it? It depends on the woman, but many try it for the experience. After all, you can’t tell if you’re going to like something unless you try it.

Some explain that it touches the clitoris from a different angle. Like an inside-out feeling. It is definitely something that is like nothing else.

From an emotional standpoint, if a woman is in love, she wants to give her mate the things that no one else can give him. Sometimes, anal sex can be like giving your virginity away all over again. [Read: First time anal sex – The curious bum lover’s guide to having anal sex]

Statistics say that only about 30% of women will ever engage in anal sex. It’s a personal choice. If you want to try it, go for it. If it’s not something that you’re keen on, just don’t do it.

For many women, anal sex just isn’t socially acceptable and the experience is a huge turnoff. The idea of being in pain or even uncomfortable doesn’t tend to sit well with most women. Can you blame them? [Read: Does anal sex have to be painful? The ass lover’s guide]

Want to know exactly what anal sex feels like, the different sensations you’d feel with each thrust, and other gross-but-very-real details? Read this complete feature on what does anal sex feel like – physically and emotionally to know every single detail you need.

Is it possible for a woman to enjoy anal sex?

We’re talking about anal sex in pretty negative terms here. But, that’s a little unfair. There is nothing wrong with trying and even enjoying anal sex with your partner.

As long as you know how to go about it safely, you may find you really like it. Some women do.

It’s such a personal thing and it’s also a very emotional subject. Allowing your partner to penetrate you anally leaves you extremely vulnerable. You’re trusting them to go slowly and to listen to you at every stage. You know that if they go even slightly too fast, it’s going to hurt like hell.

Some women find the idea of giving themselves completely to their partner in that way very enjoyable. The submissive element is a turn-on for many women. [Read: The dirty truth – Is it possible to have an anal orgasm?]

However, physically it is possible to actually enjoy anal. It’s even possible to work towards that elusive anal orgasm. To do that, you need to stimulate the pudendal nerve. This nerve connects to the clitoris and when stimulated in the right way, it can lead to a deep and explosive orgasm.

The problem is that most women aren’t relaxed enough during anal to give it a try.

The fact that everything is so tight means that when something is there that shouldn’t be, e.g. a penis, it’s pushing everything closer together. The G-spot and clitoris could get in on the action, which could lead to orgasm too.

So yes, it’s possible for a woman to enjoy anal but she has to want to enjoy it to stand a chance. [Read: First-time anal sex and the curious bum lover’s guide to giving it a try slowly]

The keys to enjoyable anal sex for both, a man and woman

The key to having an enjoyable anal sex encounter is the ability to communicate. If you don’t feel comfortable asking for it or are worried about her reaction, then you have to first come to terms with your fears.

Do you think that she isn’t ready, or are you ashamed of your desire for it?

Although only 30% of women engage in anal sex, some statistics say that as many as 70% of men desire to try it. If you want to convince her to give it a try, you have to communicate. [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]

1. Don’t have unrealistic expectations

Just like anything new, it’s important to have realistic expectations about how anal sex will feel and the outcome. Since it is an intense experience, it may take more than one try and a lot of patience for a woman to find it pleasurable.

Be prepared for her to experience discomfort *and lots of pooping sensations!* and know how to best react to it. Being responsive to her needs and respectful of her feelings is vital.

2. Let her know that it is her choice, and always respect it

If you want her to experiment with anal sex, it’s important that she feels in control of the situation. Tell her in no uncertain terms that if at any point she wants to stop, it is her prerogative.

Just because she said she would give it a try does not mean that she can’t stop it at any point.

If you communicate that she is in control and that you will respond quickly to her needs, it will make her feel safer. She’ll be less anxious, and more willing to relax, which is key to enjoying this type of experience. [Read: How to have safe sex in every single way it is possible to]

3. Use plenty of lube

The anus isn’t self-lubricating like the vagina. You need to use lots and lots *and more* of lube, otherwise, it’s going to be far more uncomfortable for her than it needs to be. Apply lube to your penis, your fingers when enjoying foreplay, and to her anus too – inside and outside. It’s the only way to make sure that discomfort is minimal and to give enjoyment a fair chance.

Remember to use a condom that is compatible with the lube too – always go with water-based or silicone lubes to avoid breaking down the condom.

4. Experiment with positions

There are several different types of positions that are useful for anal sex.

For your first time, it’s important that she can control the depth of penetration. You can sit down on a chair of the bed and let her sit down on your penis, facing away from you. Then, she can control the depth of penetration.

But if that position makes the girl experience an uncontrollable urge to poop, you can lay down on the bed in a spooning position, if you prefer to be more comfortable. [Read: 12 anal sex positions that make backdoor sex feel so darn good]

It’s about experimenting and finding out what makes her feel most comfortable. As beginners, it’s also best to avoid doggy style for anal, even if that’s your first thought. This could lead to penetration that’s a little too deep for her at this point.

5. If she says “stop”, you stop immediately

If she tells you to stop, you stop without a second’s hesitation. We talked about making her understand that she’s in control and that she can stop things at any time.

However, you need to act on that and stop as soon as she tells you to. It could be that the discomfort is just too much for her and she doesn’t want to carry on. It may be that she wants a break or to slow things down a little. Listen to her and do exactly as she tells you.

6. Stimulate her vagina and clitoris

Remember that many women don’t find much enjoyment from anal sex. So, to make it as enjoyable as possible for her, make sure that you stimulate her vagina and clitoris with your fingers or a sex toy. Some girls like the feeling of anal when using toys to stimulate the vagina, or when their partner is rubbing their clitoris.

Find out what she enjoys and experiment together. [Read: Clitoris stimulation – 10 sexy ways to please the clitoris]

7. Make sure she is turned on before you even start

Foreplay is so important in every aspect of sex, but when you’re going to try anal for the first time? Even more important. She needs to be as relaxed as possible so she feels comfortable. If she’s tense, that’s going to make the experience more painful because she will clench her muscles.

Give her a massage, have a hot bath together, and basically do whatever you need to do to get her as turned on as it’s possible to get. [Read: How to make anal sex less painful – A happy bum lover’s guide to pain-free sex]

8. Forget what you’ve seen in porn films

Remember that what you see in porn is probably not the experience you are going to have your first time, or even any time.

Make sure you address her needs by providing her with the stimulation that she needs to feel good. Although it is something you are asking for, if you focus on her needs and wants, it can be a much better experience for you both. If you expect it to be like you see in porn films, you’re going to be pretty disappointed within the first minute!

Just go with the experience and see where it leads. [Read: How to eat ass – The rimming checklist to eating booty like a boss]

The question of whether or not women like anal sex is a difficult one to answer. Some women report that it is an orgasm that is like no other, but it may take some time to get to that point.

However, some women may simply not want to try it at all, and do you know what? That’s fine.

[Read: How to prepare for anal sex – A beginner’s fantasy guidebook]

If you want to convince her to give anal sex a try, make sure that you are honest and open with her. If she is willing, communicate, respond to her needs, and focus on making it pleasurable – not just for you, but for her as well.