Dating Someone with FOMO: Are They Ready for a Real Relationship?

The single life was fun and exciting, but now you’re in a relationship and things have wound down. You like it, but you’re dating someone with FOMO.

Everyone has their different reasons for feeling FOMO. Some people just need time to transition into this new lifestyle, while others aren’t really interested in settling down. Don’t be so quick to pull the trigger on your relationship if you’re dating someone with FOMO. First, there are a couple of things you should do.

11 things to do if you’re dating someone with FOMO

Ah, yes. The fear of missing out, or FOMO as the kids call it. We’ve all been there, I mean, at least I have. When I first started dating my partner, I was in the midst of my single life, going out every weekend with my friends, staying up late and sleeping in until noon.

And from the very moment I met my boyfriend, everything changed. Going out every weekend with my friends put a damper on the relationship. Though I really enjoyed spending time with him, I also missed the time I spent with my friends. I tried to balance both, but eventually, I had to choose.

[Read: Legitimate reasons why it’s okay to not be ready for a relationship]

I didn’t want to give up some of the parts of my life that I enjoyed while being single. And it was really hard. And, of course, my boyfriend was wondering if I was ready for a relationship or if it was something I even wanted. That’s when I had to make a decision.

So, I understand what FOMO feels like when you’re in a relationship, but FOMO isn’t great for a relationship.

#1 First of all, chill. I know it’s not easy to date someone with FOMO, but there’s no need to freak out. There are two options: you stay together or break up. There’s nothing more to it. But before you make a decision, look at the relationship with a level head. If not, your emotions will get in the way, and that’s when you make mistakes. [Read: The signs you should break up and throw in the towel]

#2 Don’t blame them. It’s easy to point the finger at them and blame them for the troubles in the relationship. But that isn’t going to get you anywhere. There’s no need to blame your partner for their FOMO. Relationships and life are hard enough, and people are navigating through life, which means they’ll make mistakes along the way.

#3 Talk to them about how you feel. If you really want an answer, communicate with your partner. If you feel that maybe they’re not ready for a relationship, tell them. You’ll hear how they feel and see what the next step is. Maybe they do want a relationship but need time adjusting to being in a relationship. Not everyone has years of experience behind them. [Read: 12 obvious signs your partner’s got big commitment issues]

#4 No ultimatums. I know you think it may be a great idea to say, “It’s either your friends or me!” It’s not going to end well for you. Seriously. Ultimatums never work because you’re forcing someone to choose between you and something else they enjoy. They should come to the answer themselves of what they want, not because you forced them. [Read: Ultimatums in a relationship and why it’s the worst thing you can do]

#5 See what their needs are. Listen, if your partner is going to a pub with their friends three times a week, obviously that isn’t going to go well for your relationship. But your partner has needs, and seeing their friends is probably one of them. But, of course, relationships are all about compromise.

Do they need to get drunk at the pub three times a week to see their friends? No. But maybe they can come over, or go to the movies, or play pool. That way, their needs are being met, and you’re also feeling respected in the relationship. [Read: The 7 non-negotiables in a relationship you shouldn’t compromise on]

#6 Is this the right partner for you? Maybe you just don’t share the same values or lifestyle. While you enjoy staying at home and watching movies, they like going to raves every week and sleeping in late. This doesn’t mean you can’t be together, but if you have opposite lifestyles and values, this will become a thorn in your relationship.

#7 Give the relationship some time to grow. If you just met each other last week, well, you need to give the relationship some time to grow. Not everyone goes into a relationship thinking, “yes, this is my soul mate; I’ve found the one.” On the other hand, if your relationship has been going on for months and months, if they haven’t gotten over the FOMO, it’s clear they’re not ready for a relationship.

#8 Does your partner know what you want? This is often the problem with couples. One person thinks the relationship is serious, and the other one isn’t so attached. Does your partner know what you want in a relationship? Have you told them? Be on the same page; if they don’t know what you want, this can go on forever.

#9 Are you both happy in the relationship? When you’re with your partner, how do you feel the majority of the time? Are you feeling anxious? Stressed out? Or are you relatively calm and happy together? If the relationship is making you miserable, then this may not be the relationship for either of you. At least at this point in your lives. 

#10 Think about what you want? If you’re dating someone with FOMO, and they’re not ready for a relationship, take a step back and look at what you want. Are you even ready for a relationship? Or are you looking for something casual as well, and just don’t realize it yet. Dating someone with FOMO is a strong sign you need to self-reflect and see what your needs are. [Read: How to have a casual relationship without getting hurt or betrayed]

#11 Make a decision. At the end of the day, when you’re dating someone with FOMO, the ball is in your court. You’re the one who must decide what they want from the relationship because they’re not going to make a decision for you. Your partner is clearly dealing with an internal conflict, just like you. What do you want? Who do you want to be with? Figure it out and make a move for yourself.

[Read: The 7 biggest clues that point to emotional immaturity]

This is a tricky position. You may be into your partner, but dating someone with FOMO is a problem waiting to happen.