Dating Kinky Girls: 19 Tips to Go From Vanilla to Spice with Her

Kinky girls love to experiment with new things. They’re keen to push their boundaries. If you’re new to kink, it could be a new adventure for you!

When you’re dating a kinky girl, it’s important to try new things sometimes and push your boundaries in the bedroom – only if you’re comfortable, of course!

There are countless different types of sex and fantasies you can try, so why not be brave and try something different? You never know, you might find a brand new sex routine!

Of course, kinky girls are no strangers to trying new things and they’re the best ones to go on a new kinky adventure with!

If you’re a guy who wants to date kinky girls, you need to remember that these women aren’t looking for vanilla sex. They want passion, spice, and flavor in the bedroom.

Can you blame them? Not at all.

Sex isn’t supposed to be serious and uptight – it’s supposed to be fun, naughty, filled with laughter and experimentation. As long as everyone involved is happy and consenting, there’s nothing to worry about!

[Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime]

Why do we have a curiosity about kink?

Let’s be honest, everyone has a bit of a fascination with anything a little kinky. Why? Because it’s somehow a little taboo and those kinds of things make us want to learn more. It might not mean you want to indulge in them per se, but you can’t help but want to know more. The human mind works in mysterious ways!

Kink doesn’t have to be anything extreme. It can be as simple as role play or dirty talk.

Of course, there are some more extreme versions – basically everything you saw in 50 Shades of Gray! But, you can customize kink to suit your needs and your comfort level.

When you meet kinky girls, you’re probably fascinated with how free and keen to try things they are. It’s normal to be pretty taken with that. It doesn’t necessarily mean you want to share their kinky adventures, but hey, maybe you do! [Read: How to be kinky – 13 steamy tips to explore outside of normal sex]

Fun things to enjoy with kinky girls!

You’re only alive once, so you might as well have fun while you can.

So, if you’re a guy who has no idea what to do with kinky girls and you’ve just met one you really like, don’t worry. We have some ideas to help you get introduced into the realm of kinkiness, so you can explore and enjoy together.

[Read: How to make your girlfriend happy and feel like the luckiest girl ever]

1. Use restraints

If you want to try giving up control to your partner and allowing them to surprise you with what they’re going to do next, restraints are the way forward. There are different levels however, so let’s talk about that now.

In the beginning, we recommend using light restraints, nothing too serious, and test out the boundaries of what you both like.

You can bring in handcuffs, rope, shackles – kinky girls will have no problem cuffing their man to the bed and making them moan in delight. [Read: 20 new things to try in bed at least once with your lover]

2. Spanky spanky

Many women love being spanked, well, not to the point where they’re bleeding. Okay, some do. But if the woman asks to be spanked, the man should start at a gentle level and increase it slowly.

Guys, don’t be scared to grab her ass and spank her. Kinky girls usually let their man know that they want to be spanked, and also let him know how hard to go. Of course, it might be that she wants to spank you – how do you feel about that?

3. Bring out the toys

Kinky girls love experimenting with sex toys, and you totally should try as many toys as you like.

As a kinky girl, she’ll probably already have a couple of toys such as dildos, vibrators, strap-ons, whips, anal beads, butt plugs, collars – the list literally goes on and on. [Read: 13 must-have couples sex toys for naughty first timers]

4. Use your teeth

She’s not a steak, but she might like being nibbled on. Remember – nibble. She won’t want bruises all over her face from the guy eating her like it’s his last supper.

If you bite your girl, you’ll most certainly get her aroused and chasing after you for more. But, be careful not to leave a mark – especially as many people hate hickeys and they tend to make questions arise when you go to work or out and about the next day!

5. Choking

Choking is something that kinky girls often like. Of course, that doesn’t mean you really squeeze her neck, but the feeling of a hand on her neck might turn her on. If she asks you to do this, you want to make sure you’re not choking her too hard unless she wants your grip to be firmer.

If she’s thrashing around and grabbing you… perhaps ease up on your grip, let’s not make her unconscious. But usually, kinky girls love being choked – it’s not as taboo as it sounds, but it definitely involves a lot of trust between the couple. [Read: How to be a freak in the sheets without being creepy]

6. Wrestling

There’s something very arousing about play fighting with your partner. You’re pulling and pushing them, they’re pulling and pushing you, flipping you over, pinning you down as you’re struggling to break free.

It’s a great way to get into the mood and get yourself into some slightly aggressive foreplay. Then you can incorporate choking, spitting, and punishing, if you both want to, of course. [Read: 15 dirty ways to have the sexiest rough sex ever!]

7. Sensory deprivation

This is all about blocking out one of your main five senses, which will heighten your other senses and increase arousal.

You can be blindfolded or blindfold them, use earplugs to block out the sound, wear gloves to block off touch, etc. You can start off easy and then increase the blocking of multiple senses. It’s pretty hot and arousing. [Read: Blindfold sex – 14 sensual ways to use blindfolds in bed]

8. Master/slave interactions

Master/slave is basically when one person is dominant and the other is submissive. The slave will adhere to all the commands of the master. These commands usually start off gentle like, to worship the master’s body, kiss their feet, show them your ass.

Then they can increase in kinkiness, for example, striptease for me, stick your ass in the air, crawl on me, etc. Of course, before doing this, you’ll need to sit down with your partner and create rules and boundaries. [Read: How to set the rules of a master-slave relationship and follow them]

9. Public sex

Have sex at the drive-in theater or while waiting in the doctor’s office – that’s kinky. The fact that not only are you doing it in a public place, but you also have a very high chance of being caught, is what makes it exciting.

If you want to be caught, you’re already kinky. So, why not just go the extra step and try it out.

Just make sure that you don’t actually go out of your way to getting caught because that could lead to an extremely embarrassing encounter and possible arrest in some cases! [Read: The 20 best and hottest places for outdoor sex]

10. Gags

No, not the funny kind. You’ve probably heard of gagging thanks to 50 Shades of Grey, and aside from this film, it’s actually very popular amongst kinky girls.

Gagging is kind of like sensory deprivation because it prevents you from speaking. You’ll definitely need to have some sort of safety word/action and agree to the boundaries of how far you’ll go while gagging or being gagged.

11. Add another one to the mix

Have a threesome. Just find someone that you both are attracted to but aren’t friends with and have a threesome. It’ll be an experience you won’t forget.

We would recommend two women over two men, however, some kinky girls prefer having two guys – completely personal preference.

However, it’s pretty kinky and also a lot of fun. Not everyone is into this idea and some people try it and vow never to do it again, but you could be amongst the many who really love it! [Read: The threesome invite – How to make the amazing happen]

12. Who doesn’t like food?

Have you seen the scene in 9 ½ Weeks with Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger? Okay, well, if not, we don’t want to ruin anything, but it involves a fridge and sex – so, watch it *it is like a 100 years old movie though (1986)*. Don’t underestimate the power of food.

Honey, whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate – you can basically hit up all the food groups. Kinky girls are more than willing to play with food – licking honey or chocolate off of the man’s chest, chewing a strawberry out of his mouth, or licking whipped cream off of the inner thigh.

13. Anal sex

Many women are nervous to try anal sex because of the negative connotation around the subject. However, kinky girls already know everything about anal sex and are more than willing to give it a try. [Read: She likes anal sex? 15 tips to easily impress a girl who likes the backdoor]

If she wants to try it as her first time, as a man, you want to make sure that you’re well prepared beforehand. However, if you prepare in advance, she’ll love it.

It might also be that she wants to try pegging, basically anal sex but she dons a strapon and goes to town on your ass. Some guys are intrigued, others are horrified. It’s up to you how you feel about it, but do bear in mind that the anal orgasm can be pretty amazing for a man. [Read: Pegging and all the backdoor facts to get you started]

14. Watch porn together

Watching porn is incredibly arousing, so why not watch porn with your partner – it’s pretty kinky. Have you seen some of the things they do on film? Men are very visual and let’s not kid ourselves, most watch porn.

But when you’re with kinky girls, don’t be scared to ask if she wants to watch porn with you – she probably does. You won’t make it through the whole film – we’d be surprised if you made it past the first five minutes. [Read: How to spice up your bedroom – 22 tips to set the bed on fire]

15. Find a new place to cum

Yes, that’s right, you just read that. We don’t know what type of contraception you’re using *please use some*, but the guy doesn’t have to cum in a tissue or in a condom if there’s a kinky girl in the room.

The guy can try out – consensually, of course – new places on her body to cum. There’s probably someplace that really turns her on. For some kinky girls, it’s the face, over her breasts or in/on her ass. It really depends on whether she thinks it’s a good way to finish off with a bang – no pun intended. [Read: Girls who swallow and all they reasons why they’re truly the best girlfriends ever]

16. Role play

Sitting at the bar and a mysterious stranger sits beside you, asking what your name is? Sure, it may be your kinky girl, but for now, it’s a Russian girl here for one night on a business trip. She slips you a napkin with her room number on it.

No, that’s not the opening to some Hollywood film. That, my friend, is your Friday night. If there’s a kinky girl in the room, she’ll have no problem developing some storyline that’ll get everyone in character.

This is a great opportunity to have sex with someone *completely new* but still the same person deep within. [Read: Naughty sex games for couples to feel really horny all over again]

17. Get it on film

Film you and your partner having sex. It won’t end up online if you trust your partner, but it’s a fun way to get turned on.

It’s also kind of interesting to see what you look like when you’re having sex – also a little embarrassing, but whatever, get over it. This will totally turn on kinky girls.

18. Group sex

If you’re thinking about having a threesome or already tried it, why not throw another person into the mix. Group sex is not only kinky, but it’s a great way to experiment and experience sex with other people while still having sex with your partner.

If you’re not the kinky one in the relationship, you may be a little hesitant to give it a try. However, sit down and talk to your kinkier half and they’ll help you through it. [Read: 9 really wild and crazy sex parties you can have at your own place]

19. Bring on the pee

Okay, most people probably squirmed in their seat reading this one, but there are many people that are into the golden shower. It’s probably best to discuss this one before having sex.

Kinky girls will probably be down for it, but, it may come as a shock when all of a sudden the guy is peeing on her or vice versa. Mention this before sex and just test the waters – oh, that was a good pun.

[Read: 11 most common fetishes, plus 5 super weird ones]

A safe word is always a good idea

When you’re with kinky girls and they’re suggesting all sorts of fun stuff to try, it’s important to settle on a safe word beforehand. That means if either of you feels overwhelmed, uncomfortable, or simply wants to stop, you can say the word and everything quickly ends. You can stop until you feel better again, or you can stop everything completely. 

The idea is that you can explore kink safe in the knowledge that if it becomes too much, you just say the word and you’re golden. It’s a reassuring thing and allows you to totally throw yourself into kinky fun as a result. 

[Read: The full guide to help you open up about your kinky side and explore your naughty side]

Kinky girls are not meant to be tamed, they have to let their energy out – it’s the only way. So, try out these various activities if you’re dating a kinky girl.