Complicated Relationship: What It Is & the Best Ways to Fix It or Get Out of It

Does your relationship status read ‘it’s complicated?’ There is nothing fun about a complicated relationship, it’s simply a mystery to solve. 

Some people are doomed to remain in a relationship categorized as “complicated” for as long as they live. It could be that they just love the emotional rollercoaster and the associated drama. However, it could be that they simply don’t know how to turn their relationship from a question mark into something solid and established.

There are so many reasons people find complications within their relationship. There can be commitment issues, trust issues, long distances, and even abuse issues. They just don’t know how to figure out their problems and find success in the relationship.

Of course, sometimes it works out, and other times it doesn’t, but knowing what to do can help guide you to the right conclusion. [Read: Is love real? 15 happy signs that fuzzy feeling is real]

Relationships are never easy

A perfect relationship can turn into a complicated one in no time, and one lover can’t really predict it without listening to the confusion in the other partner’s mind.

But in almost all cases, a complicated relationship is a one-sided love affair where one person wants to hold on while the other person just wants to let go or go with someone else.

So are you in a complicated relationship? Understanding how to deal with a complicated relationship is simple if you can see the facts straight.

Almost all the time, people in complicated relationships fail to see the problem because they’re either not interested in acknowledging a problem, or too clouded by emotions to accept reality. [Read: How to face relationship challenges and overcome them as a couple]

Why do people stay in complicated relationships?

A lot of people might say if you’re in a troubled relationship, you should just get out. It’s obviously not worth it. Now, sometimes, they may have a point if it’s reached a critical point.

But why is it we just can’t stay away sometimes?

Your love is blinding, that’s why. Sometimes you care so much for a person you don’t realize that maybe they don’t deserve your love. We might even stay because although things are rough now, we believe with the right help, it can be a happy and healthy relationship. [Read: 23 types of relationships to define your love life]

Now, we’re not going to sit here and tell you 100% that if your relationship is complicated, you should leave. There are many reasons why it could be deemed complicated, and some may be overcome with time and effort. There are many people who had complicated relationships only to turn it all around.

However, there are many situations in which you should simply admit defeat. If a relationship is draining you of happiness and making you wonder what that day’s drama is going to be, do you really need it? Some people and situations just won’t ever change. [Read: 16 common relationship tips that ruin your love life]

How to handle a complicated relationship and make a choice

Not all complicated relationships are doomed to fail. You can be in a less-than-great spot in the relationship and emerge just as happy and successful as the most “perfect” couple you can think of.

You may just need a little help to get there. Truthfully, complicated relationships always have some issue that needs working out.

If you’re in a complicated relationship and want to make it a successful and happy one, here’s how. [Read: 20 big problems in a relationship and how to fix it]

1. Isolate the issue(s)

Your very first step when handling a complicated relationship is to find out what the issue is. What is the one thing holding back your relationship and making it difficult?

There may even be multiple issues you should deal with before finding success in your relationship. Does your partner have commitment issues? Do you have commitment issues? Trust problems? Are you long-distance?

Identifying these problems is the first step. [Read: 21 secrets signs that clearly reveal a bad relationship]

2. Make communication a priority

The chances are, if your relationship is complicated, there is a severe lack of communication. Most complications come out of misunderstandings or problems the other person doesn’t even know exist.

Come to an agreement to openly talk to each other about everything. When you’re feeling insecure, distrusting, or having a problem with what they’re doing or vice versa, openly talk about it and solve those issues immediately. [Read: A guide to effective communication in a relationship]

3. Don’t be afraid to demand more

If you think your relationship is complicated, then you’re unhappy. If you believe in the person you’re with and that they’re the one for you, then you can’t be so darn shy about what you need from them.

Open your mouth and let your voice be heard. If they care about you the same way, they will comply if your desire is reasonable. If not, then you shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t value you. [Read: How to fix a broken relationship: 15 tips to make it last]

4. Be open to the possibility that you are the problem

Maybe you’re the very reason your relationship is complicated in the first place. Look at the situation from an outsider’s perspective. Understand you may be the one thing stopping your relationship from being successful.

Be honest with yourself. Do you need some fixing before your relationship finds success? If it is you, you should adjust something in your life. Perhaps seek out additional help first.

5. Make your unhappiness known

You may think your relationship is complicated, but your partner may think everything is perfectly fine and you’re both as happy as ever. If that’s the case, you HAVE to speak up and let your unhappiness be heard.

Walk up to your partner, ask them to talk, and then just say it. Tell them why you’re unhappy and that you feel the relationship is in jeopardy.

If your partner cares about you as much as you do them, then they’ll be willing to solve it so you can both be happy. [Read: The biggest secrets to a happy, monogamous relationship]

6. Rely upon your support system

When your relationship is complicated, it can be tempting to hide your problems from those closest to you. Open up to them and let them know what’s going on.

They can give you unbiased feedback on how to fix things, and may even help you find success in your relationship. Having this support system also gives you the courage to speak up to your partner about everything that’s going on.

7. Spend some time apart

You may think this will do harm to your relationship, but it works wonders. You need to spend some time apart if you think your relationship is complicated. Being away from them for a decent length of time not only helps you miss them, but it’ll give you a clear head.

You’ll be able to think through your relationship and situation without their influence. You can figure out how you feel and what you want. Then you can make it all clear to your significant other so you can move forward. [Read: How taking a break in a relationship actually works]

8. Remember why you’re with them in the first place

It’s funny how when you’re with someone for a while, and things start going badly, you forget about why you got with them in the first place. You pretty much forget about the qualities you love about them.

In order to handle a complicated relationship, remember why you’re with them in the first place. Who knows, maybe you won’t be able to come up with a reason, and that tells you all you need to know about how to fix—or not fix—your relationship. [Read: When the love is gone – 15 gestures to bring back the love]

9. Get rid of the obstacles making it complicated

If you both have really hard jobs and can’t really see each other, or one of you has an ex that keeps popping up, get rid of them. We’re not saying to completely give up your job, but find a way to take some time to see them.

Getting rid of those obstacles gets rid of the excuses you both use to not make your relationship a success. If you don’t have anything holding back your relationship, it can no longer be complicated. [Read: 34 honest reasons why you’re bored with your relationship]

10. Take off your rose-tinted spectacles

Sometimes, we focus on the idea of what we want a relationship to be, or how we want a person to be. We forget the reality of the situation. Are you staying with this person because you’re focused on how things used to be, rather than how they are now?

If you want your relationship to last and be something you’re happy about, you need to live in the present and stop focusing on how things used to be, or how you wish they were.

11. Love your partner and show it every day

This may seem like an obvious thing to do, but most couples completely forget about this. They may tell their partner they love them on a daily basis, but if they don’t show it, then it’s completely pointless!

If you don’t feel loved and neither does your partner, then it seems like a complicated relationship. Even doing little things here and there can work wonders in helping you both realize you have a happy and healthy relationship. [Read: Mushy ways to show someone you love them without words]

12. Know that all relationships have some complications

No complication in a relationship is ever similar. So you’ll have to create your own ways of working with it and evening out the complication.

But know that every single relationship out there has some kind of complication, be it small or large. It’s how you deal with it that matters.

In a long-term relationship, complications could arise when your partner falls in love with someone else or starts losing interest in you as a partner potential. On the other hand, in a shorter relationship, the novelty of the new relationship may have worn off, or your date may just not want to go out with you anymore for several reasons.

So what do you intend to do about it? [Read: How to have a perfect new relationship]

13. Know that some complicated relationships just aren’t meant to be

Are you in a relationship where your partner constantly cheats on you or tells you they don’t want to be with you anymore but comes back into your arms every now and then? Does your partner ignore you? If so, it’s a definite sign that the relationship is heading nowhere.

Your partner may just be trying to look for someone else to go out with and may be using you until they find someone else. Or they may be too much of a coward to break up with you.

If you can’t end a complication with conversations and assurances, perhaps both of you are just not meant to be. [Read: What to do when you like someone else?]

Are you ready for a fresh start?

Sometimes, it’s easier to end a relationship and walk away, especially if there are way too many complications involved. But if you really do love your partner and are willing to work on the relationship again, take a chance. The tips we’ve talked about should help you out.

But, you have to remember that complicated relationships almost always never work. When you’re the one stuck in the painful end of a complicated relationship, it only means that your partner is using you or is just too selfish to care about anyone but themselves. [Read: 20 worrying signs you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship]

Walk out of a complicated relationship if you’re unable to work out the differences and sort out the complication. It may hurt a while, but no matter how much it hurts, it can never hurt more than how you feel right now. By ending it, you’ll at least be able to remove the painful complication from your life.

Heartbreaks can always be healed with time, but complications only increase with time – remember that. [Read: How to get over a broken heart easily]

A complicated relationship is a tricky thing to figure out. For some, they end up being a mess. If that’s you, then these tips will help you fix your complications and find a solution.