Cheating Husband: 40 Sneaky Signs Your Man is Unfaithful or Trying to Cheat

Cheating is the worst thing someone can do to their partner. So, if you’re seeing the signs of a cheating husband, it’s important to get down to the facts. 

It is a terrible feeling to suspect that your husband is being unfaithful. Perhaps he has started working late, is being distant, and has grown less affectionate. Perhaps you found something incriminating on his phone, or perhaps you just have that horrible gut feeling in your stomach. However, the signs of a cheating husband aren’t always crystal clear.

Whatever your reasons are for suspecting your husband of straying, it is best not to jump to conclusions. Unfortunately, a woman’s instinct is usually right, but here are signs to look out for that help you decide what your next move will be. [Read: What is considered cheating? The painful types and ways to set boundaries]

What is cheating?

First things first, what is cheating exactly?

It might sound like an odd question, but most people have their own definition of what is cheating versus what isn’t. For some people a kiss is cheating, but other couples don’t find this to be so bad.

It’s important to know your own definition and for your partner to know about it. That way, no gray areas could get in the way.

There are different forms of cheating too. We know about physical cheating, but what about emotional cheating? There doesn’t have to be sex involved for it to count as cheating, right? For many people, having an emotional affair is more crushing than it just being about sex. [Read: Dreams about cheating – what they mean and why you don’t have to panic]

Is he being unfaithful? The sneaky signs your husband is cheating

The last thing you want to do is jump in and accuse your husband of something pretty serious—particularly if he was being sneaky because he was planning an amazing surprise for you. Believe us—it’s happened!

Similarly, you don’t want to go on for years in a relationship with a man who thinks it’s okay to break your vows and who takes you for a fool. Check out these signs your husband is cheating and apply them to your own situation. [Read: To cheat or not to cheat? A guide to make up your mind]

1. He starts hitting the gym hard

Or takes up running, swimming, or any other exercise just out of the blue. Sure, it is nice for your man to take care of himself, but unless it’s something you have been pushing for or decided to do together, it’s time to get a bit suspicious.

If your formerly-slovenly hubby suddenly starts pumping those weights like there is no tomorrow, it is probably time to ask, “Who is he doing this for?”

2. He keeps you away from his work colleagues

Okay, so some people don’t like to mix work and pleasure, but it’s been three years and you’ve still not met any of his work colleagues, despite the fact that he goes out with them all the time. A little strange, no? [Read: Is he cheating on you with another woman?]

It may be that he wants to keep you away to enjoy the casual flirting relationship he’s got going on with a girl at the office… Or it may be something even worse.

3. He starts getting moody or angry with you

If you see a sudden change in your husband’s character, it might be time to question why. Anger and snappiness can be a sign that he’s feeling guilty or can’t express his emotions properly, so he’s taking it out on you. [Check out: Cheating in a relationship and what you need to know about it]

4. He avoids being alone with you

If your husband suddenly starts finding any excuse not to spend time alone with you, this is a sign he may be cheating. It is not only a sign that he might have given up on your relationship, but also that he is scared that if he talks alone with you too much, he might slip up.

5. He doesn’t touch you anymore

Remember when you first got together? You were all over each other, right? If the affection has completely dried up, it might be time to take a long, hard look at your relationship.

Healthy, intimate relationships involve holding hands, cuddling up on the sofa together, sly glances, and casual embraces. If he has stopped doing these things, it may be because he is getting this elsewhere. [Read: 16 subtle signs he’s definitely cheating on you]

6. He doesn’t do anything thoughtful

Did he use to buy you flowers every week or write you love letters when he went on business trips? If he used to be the kind and caring sort, and now he isn’t, it is time to ask, “What has changed?”

He may have turned his affections elsewhere.

7. He can’t look you in the eye

Lack of eye contact is a surefire sign that he is hiding something from you.

8. He’s selfish

If he suddenly puts his interests before you and your family, it strongly suggests that he is not interested in the relationship anymore and is perhaps being unfaithful. [Try: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner]

9. He no longer talks about the future

A faithful husband will be excited about what the future holds for the pair of you. However, a cheating husband already knows that the relationship is doomed.

10. He keeps secrets

He used to share everything with you, right? Now he is keeping much more to himself, being vague, and not engaging you in conversation. You ask how his day was and you get nothing back.

If he starts keeping himself to himself, it could suggest he is hiding something far bigger from you. [Read: Keeping secrets in a relationship – 42 must-know rules and exceptions]

11. He has to travel a lot

Some jobs require a man to be on the road more than others, but if your husband’s travel suddenly increases—a lot—and he never asks you to go with him, perhaps it is because he is asking someone else.

12. He suddenly gets busier

He’s been in the same job for 10 years and suddenly his workload increases twofold, evenings are spent in the office, and he gets home tired, grumpy, and late.

Unless he has a seriously good reason, it would suggest he is not keen to spend time with you and perhaps spending it with another woman. [Check out: Why do men cheat?]

13. He needs more alone time

He used to spend the weekends planning fun things to do together and that’s all changed. If he suddenly wants more time to himself and would rather be alone than with you, it’s a surefire sign that something is up.

14. He gets new hobbies

He used to be content watching TV in the evening, but now he’s taking up all sorts of new classes and hobbies… Which gets him out of the house and out of your eyesight.

Mid-life crisis? Maybe. But it could well involve a new woman on the scene, too.

15. He’s different in the bedroom

Another sign that your husband is cheating is that his sexual appetites have changed. Where is he learning those new moves? [Read: 31 new things to try in bed at least once with your lover]

16. He deletes his text messages

His phone is always flashing, but when you look, there are no new messages. This is a hugely suspicious sign. No one deletes their messages… Unless there are messages they don’t want to be seen.

17. He takes his calls in private

If his phone rings and he leaps off to go speak in hushed tones in another room, he may be talking to another woman.

If you ask, “Who was that?” and get an, “Oh, nobody” response, be very suspicious. [Read: Should you ever forgive a cheating partner?]

18. He gets a second phone

Either he’s cheating, or he’s become a dealer—which is more likely?!

19. He sets up a second email address

So, it is fine to have more than one email address, but it’s weird if he has recently set up a new one. To what end?

Having more than one personal email account just makes things harder to keep track of, unless he has set it up specifically to communicate with another woman, of course. [Read: Cheating spouse – 18 signs you must watch for if you don’t want to be hurt]

20. He smells different

Everyone has a smell, whether good or bad, and if you are married, you know what your husband usually smells like. Has it changed?

A hint of perfume that is not yours, a soap that isn’t one you have in your house, or even a different cologne is a tell-tale sign that your husband is potentially doing something untoward.

21. He is no longer interested in your family and friends

If he used to be a big participant in family events and was happy to socialize with your friends, but has become less enthusiastic about doing so, he might be cheating.

If he is not willing to go out with you in group settings, it may be that he is worried his other woman will see the two of you together. [Try: Emotional cheating and bad things it can do to you]

22. The same name keeps coming up

It’s “Karen this, Karen that.” This mystery woman at his work suddenly seems to be the center of all his stories. Why the sudden interest?

23. He goes out for groceries and comes back two hours later

Turning short trips into longer ones means that your man may very well be taking a detour. Unless he can give you a really good reason, if it happens frequently, this points to a cheating husband.

24. He’s defensive

About everything he does, in fact. It seems you can’t say anything without him acting like you’ve insulted him. He’s just asking for an argument, so he can feel less guilty about what he’s doing behind your back. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t notice]

25. He starts to dress differently

Men hardly ever change their style, so if he does, this is a huge sign that another woman out there is having a serious influence on him.

26. He’s all about culture

It used to be like pulling teeth whenever you suggested a trip to the theatre or a gallery or museum. Suddenly, he is more than happy to go.

This may seem odd, but might initially seem like a positive change. Until you clock the young art student who has caught his eye or the beautiful concert pianist he can’t stop smiling at, that is. [Check out: How to fix a relationship that’s falling apart]

27. He’s started going to office parties when he never used to

Work is where his social life is at. He used to spend hours joking about all the losers that worked there and suddenly they are all his best buddies. There is probably a new girl in the office, one he wants to get to know a helluva lot better.

28. He ignores you

If he has become vague and distracted, barely listens to what you say, trails off in the middle of sentences, and doesn’t bother to strike up a conversation with you, his mind is probably elsewhere.

29. When you get jealous, he gets angry

If you voice your concerns to your husband, a faithful and caring one will comfort and reassure you there is nothing to worry about.

If he can’t do that or gets inappropriately angry or defensive, it’s probably because you’ve outed him and he wants to shut you down. [Read: Clear giveaways to know if your man is lying to your face]

30. He has multiple social media accounts

Unless he’s a famous Instagram influencer, there’s no reason to have multiple accounts. However, some men will have separate accounts. One personal and one for other women.

If he’s committed to you, there are no reasons to have multiple accounts. [Read: Instagram flirting – how it’s secretly ruining your relationship]

31. Everything has a password

You can’t touch any electronic device without a password. Now, most of us have passwords… That’s not the problem. The problem is when he freaks out if you ask for his password to use his computer or phone.

Why freak out? What are you hiding?

32. He’s spending more money/unexplained expenses

You’re not sure what he’s spending money on, but the numbers on your bank statement aren’t lying. If he’s spending money on things he can’t explain, that’s a problem.

You may notice him trying to cover it up by purchasing gifts for you. But don’t get sidetracked. [Read: Is it possible you are dating a serial cheater?] 

33. He thinks you’re crazy

Ah yes, this is an old trick. When you bring up your concerns, instead of talking about them, he deflects the conversation. He tells you that you’re the crazy one, you’re the irrational one. When really, you caught him red-handed. [Read: Signs a narcissist is gaslighting and playing mind games with you]

34. He’s taking care of the car too much

Now, if the car really does need a little attention, that’s not an issue. But if he’s constantly taking it to the garage or cleaning it all the time, you have to ask yourself a) where is he going, and b) who is he trying to impress with a shiny car.

35. He’s becoming more unreliable

One of the main signs of a cheating husband is when you can’t rely on him anymore. He’s too busy spreading his time between you and his other woman. [Read: Higher standards – why going low only leads to lousy relationships]

36. His friends are being especially chummy with you

They know and they’re trying to keep you from sniffing the scent. Put simply, his buddies are always going to have his back, whether they agree with what he’s doing or not.

If his friends aren’t usually this friendly with you, it’s time to question why.

37. He expresses disgust about other people

If he tells you that he doesn’t find even supermodels attractive, he’s trying to deflect attention and make you think that he doesn’t find anyone even slightly attractive at all. The truth is that he’s making up for something he’s doing on the side.

He might also tell you how much he hates people who cheat, but again, it’s a deflection of guilt. [Read: Guilty conscience – what it is, and 21 emotional signs of guilt people feel]

38. He goes into too much detail when he explains where he’s been

If you ask where he’s been and he starts with a tall tale, it’s suspicious. He can simply say he was with his friend in a bar and that would be sufficient, right?

If you get the full tale, complete with the color of the walls, ask yourself why.

39. He “forgets” about a night out

Your husband went out with his friends, or at least that’s what you thought. When you ask him about it, he can’t remember.

The reason he can’t remember is that he never went out with his friends, he was with another woman and his lie caught up with him. [Read: Types of liars – ways to confront them and not lose your cool]

40. You feel it

There’s one thing you should never doubt, and it’s your gut instinct, especially when it comes to reading the signs of a cheating husband. If something inside of you is saying there’s something wrong, that’s because there is.

Of course, if it’s paired with some of these signs, then your gut instinct is right. But always confirm your gut instinct with actual evidence. [Read: Gut instinct – what it is, how it works, and 30 tips to follow and listen to your gut]

What to do if your husband is cheating and how to cope

If you confirm that your husband really is cheating on you, first take some time out for yourself. This is one of the worst things to happen to a person and you do not have to bounce back like it doesn’t bother you. It hurts. It destroys a person.

Rely on your family and friends for a while and don’t feel pushed into speaking to your partner or making a decision about the future. This is your time and you can do with it whatever you choose.

However, don’t subscribe to the “once a cheater, always a cheater” mindset immediately. The truth is that you just don’t know.

You might feel that you would leave your partner if you found out they cheated on you, but if it happens, you might not feel that way at all. You’ll never know until you’re in the situation. [Read: Be careful who you trust – 15 ways to recognize the backstabbers]

What you shouldn’t do is rush. If your partner is serious about making your relationship work, he’ll wait until you’re ready. And if they’re not, well, such heartbreak takes time to overcome, but you will come out the other side stronger.

Don’t let infidelity ruin your trust and faith in love. That’s the most important thing to remember. Unfortunately, people make mistakes. And even if it’s not a mistake, have faith in the fact that karma will do its job.

You don’t get over being cheated on overnight and you shouldn’t attempt to. Take all the time and support you need until you start to feel stronger again.

[Read: Ignore the signs he is cheating on you at your own peril]

If you think your husband is cheating, use these signs to help figure it out for sure. You certainly don’t want to be stuck in a loveless, unhappy marriage, so find out and get out as soon as you can.