Boyfriend’s a Bad Kisser? The Types & 30 Do’s & Don’ts to Fix His Smooch

Just because he can’t kiss to save his life, doesn’t mean you have to dump him! Here are quick ways to turn a bad kisser boyfriend into a world-class one.

While traveling the long and winding road from Singletown to Couplesville, it’s almost a given that at some point, you’re going to come across a guy *or two* who has …how can we put this gently… the kissing skills of a dead fish. Sure, some fish are cute, but there’s not one fish that’s cuddle-worthy, dead or otherwise, and they certainly are bad kisser boyfriends.

While this analogy sounds funny, the reality is a poor pucker can be a deal breaker for many women. Even if the guy is Mr. Right in all other aspects, if his kiss is a let-down, it might be reason enough to throw him back into the singles pond.

If your new honey’s lip lock leaves a lot to be desired, before you practice catch and release, try the following pucker-perfecting tips. You might just turn your bad kisser into a passionate prince charming who lights your fire with his kisses. [Read: First kiss tips: 29 secrets to Make the first smooch sexy & irresistible]

Kissing Conundrum

He leaned in to kiss you, and in that moment, you hoped for fireworks. But instead, it was… well, not what you expected. Let’s talk about this whole bad kisser boyfriend situation.

It’s like when you’re craving an amazing chocolate cake, and you end up with a bland, unsweetened muffin. You still appreciate the effort, but it’s not hitting the spot, right?

So, what makes someone a bad kisser? Honestly, it’s not a one-size-fits-all label. It could be anything from a lack of experience to being too aggressive, or maybe just not being in sync with your kissing style.

Like when your boyfriend goes for a full Hollywood-style smooch and you’re more about a gentle, slow kiss. It’s not just about technique, it’s about rhythm and reading each other’s signals.

And let’s not overlook the impact this can have on a relationship. Kissing is a way of connecting on a deeper level, and if it feels more awkward than intimate, it can start to put a damper on things. [Read: Emotional connection: 38 signs, secrets & ways to build a real bond]

You might find yourself dodging those kiss attempts or feeling less connected. It’s a bit of a slippery slope. The good news is, it’s not a hopeless case. Just a little bump in the road that can usually be smoothed out with some open communication and practice. But more on that later!

Types of Bad Kisser Boyfriend

If you’ve kissed a fair share of frogs, it’s probably easy for you to tell a prince from a toad when it comes to kissing. But if you’re not too sure whether your boyfriend falls into the ‘bad kisser’ category, let’s break down the types. Because, let’s face it, kissing should feel more like a treat than a chore!

1. The Slobbering Salamander

This type of bad kisser boyfriend hasn’t quite mastered the art of controlling the amount of saliva involved during a kiss. Each smooch feels like you’ve just been drenched in a rainstorm, completely overwhelming and a little sloppy.

It’s as if he’s overzealous with his technique, leaving you to mop up the aftermath. While kisses are meant to be moist, they shouldn’t leave you feeling like you need a towel.

2. The Rhythmless Romancer

With this boyfriend bad kisser, every kiss feels out of sync. It’s like trying to dance to music where the beat keeps changing unpredictably.

He might be all over the place—too fast, then too slow, never really finding a rhythm that matches yours. Kissing him can be a confusing experience because just as you think you’ve got the pace, it changes.

3. The Aggressive Gladiator

This bad kisser boyfriend seems to think kissing is a competitive sport where the strongest lips win. His kisses come at you with such force that it can feel more like a battle than an expression of affection.

Each kiss might leave your lips feeling sore and overwhelmed. It’s vital he understands that kissing is about finesse and gentleness, not about proving how much pressure he can exert. [Read: How to tell if a guy likes kissing you & is turned on while kissing]

4. The Statue

Ever feel like you’re kissing a mannequin? This type of bad kisser boyfriend is unresponsive and stiff, making you do all the work. It can be exhausting trying to coax some life into his kissing style.

He needs to realize that kissing is a two-way interaction that requires movement and feedback from both parties.

5. The Pecking Parrot

His kiss has one setting: quick and repetitive. His kisses lack depth and linger for just a moment before he pulls away, only to come back for another quick peck. It feels more like a tick on a checklist than a moment to connect.

6. The Ambush Artist

Here’s the bad kisser boyfriend who dives in with all guns blazing. Before you know it, his tongue is halfway down your throat without any warming up.

These surprise attacks can be off-putting as they leave little room for emotional buildup, which is essential for a good kiss. [Read: Emotionally invested: Things you MUST know before going all-in in love]

7. The Clenched Clam

Kissing him is like trying to pry open a clam that’s determined to stay shut. His lips are pressed tightly together, making it hard for you to find a way in. It’s as if he’s guarding his mouth against intruders.

8. The Wayward Wanderer

With this type, you might find his kisses landing anywhere but your lips—your chin, your nose, maybe even near your ear. It’s frustrating when his aim is so off. It feels like he’s not paying attention to where his lips are going.

You might be wondering, why is he like this? Often, this can be a sign of nervousness or inexperience. He might be unsure of himself and overthinking the mechanics rather than getting lost in the moment. [Read: Easy ways for guys to hide their sexual inexperience]

9. The Monotone Monogamist

Variety is missing from his kisses. Every single time, it’s the exact same motion and pressure. It’s predictable and can quickly become boring. You could even predict how many seconds the kiss will last.

10. The Distracted Dabbler

This bad kisser boyfriend seems to always have his mind elsewhere while kissing, and even worse, sometimes his eyes are wide open, making the moment feel even less intimate.

It’s like he’s physically there but his thoughts are roaming freely—perhaps pondering his next task or daydreaming about something entirely unrelated. These distractions can make his kisses feel superficial and disconnected as if he’s just going through the motions without truly engaging with you. [Read: 34 signs, why we feel disconnected in a relationship & ways to reconnect]

How to Fix a Boyfriend Who’s a Bad Kisser

Before cutting your new pucker-challenged beau loose, here are some things you can do to help him *hopefully* become a better kisser.

1. Give the Guy a Chance

As exciting as the first kiss is for both of you, it is also just as nerve-wracking. You know how you feel with butterflies in your stomach and your knees all weak.

It’s the same for him, and that kind of nervousness and anticipation can really interfere with the most well-intended first kiss. Before writing him off though, consider the circumstances surrounding the kiss.

Was your date visibly nervous? Was he a little tipsy? Was the environment just not conducive to a great first kiss – in public with lots of people around, at the last second before jumping in a cab, or saying goodbye at your front door in that awkward “should-I-or-shouldn’t-I-kiss-her” moment? [Read: Dating anxiety: What it is, 39 causes of panic and signs & steps to get over it]

It could just be that your date has a case of performance anxiety, and if given the chance, will prove he’s a great kisser the next time your lips meet.

Give him the chance to redeem himself by setting him up for success on the second go-round. Suggest staying in and snuggling on the couch for movie night, or plan a romantic picnic in the park complete with a blanket beneath a tree.

Any quiet, romantic setting will do as long as the two of you can focus on the task at hand without rushing. You might be surprised by his pucker prowess, and if so, awesome! If not, keep reading because all is not lost. [Read: How to get a guy to kiss you when you want him to]

2. Show Him How It’s Done

You know what you like, so show him. One of the best ways to make sure your man kisses you like you want to be kissed is to lead by example. By taking charge and demonstrating how you like to be kissed, he should pick up on your cues and mimic your smooching style.

It’s important to correct his less-than-satisfactory kissing skills as soon as possible, so they don’t have a negative impact on what could potentially be a long and happy union.

3. Mirror, Mirror

If your sweetie still isn’t getting your subtle hints, it might be time to be a little more aggressive in your quest for passionate kisses. It might be time to come right out and suggest a little kissing “practice,” so to speak.

When the time is right *read: NOT after an argument or a hard day at work*, snuggle up with your honey and suggest the two of you play the Mirror Game.

When you suggest it, make him understand that the purpose of the game is to learn more about what you both like the most. Don’t say anything negative like, “I don’t like the way you kiss, so let’s practice.”

Instead, explain how the game is played by saying, “First, I’ll kiss you like I like to be kissed, and then you kiss me exactly the same way. Then, you show me something you like, and I’ll do it back to you.”

If your partner respects you and values your opinion, he will wholeheartedly take the opportunity to learn more ways to please you. If he balks at the exercise, simply explain that playing the game is a great way to find out the best ways to please one another.

After a few rounds of the Mirror Game, your partner should catch on to what you prefer in a kiss. If not, keep reading. There’s still hope. [Read: Foolproof kissing tips for that perfectly sexy smooch]

4. Tell It Like It Is

Every aspect of a good relationship begins with communication. It can be tough talking about a partner’s shortcomings, but you can do so in a positive way with this touchy subject.

Rather than telling him he stinks at kissing, praise him when he tickles your fancy with a particularly good pucker. Alternatively, let him know how important kissing is to you in a relationship, and how much you enjoy doing it.

By being honest and letting him know what you like and how important lip locking is to you, even the dimmest bulb should start to see the light. Plus, if he’s really into you, he’ll work hard to make sure his smooching skills are up to your expectations. When they are, don’t hesitate to let him know you really dig his kisses.

However, if at this point, your man still isn’t up to par, you may want to start thinking about how long you want to continue swapping saliva with a potential lost cause. Of course, there’s always one more thing… [Read: How to kiss a guy well: 21 secrets to arouse him with your first kiss]

5. Practice, Practice, and Practice Some More

Just as with any other skill, practice makes perfect. Kissing really is no different. Be sure to set aside some time during each date for some serious making out to practice those kissing skills.

It’s a great way to get closer to each other, learn more about what you both like, and it’s something you both can enjoy.

6. Positive Reinforcement

Whenever he does something right, let him know! It’s like training a puppy – they do well with treats, right? So, if he gets the pressure just right or tunes into your rhythm, make sure to express your enjoyment.

Doing this will make him know what he’s doing right and is likely to repeat it. It’s about encouraging the good, not just correcting the bad.

7. Use a Code Word

Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, you need a quick way to recalibrate. Come up with a fun or silly word that signals him to ease up, slow down, or adjust his technique.

This way, you can communicate mid-kiss without killing the mood. It turns it into a little game, and it’s less about criticism and more about playful improvement. [Read: Meaning of safe words, best examples & 27 ways to use them in rough play]

8. Share Educational Content

There are tons of articles, videos, and even books about kissing. Casually share some of these resources with your boyfriend.

It can be a fun and indirect way to give him some pointers without directly saying, “You’re a bad kisser.” It’s like leaving a cookbook open on a page about making the perfect omelette for someone who can’t cook eggs.

9. Kiss in Different Settings

Sometimes the environment can play a big role in how someone kisses. Try kissing in different places or contexts – like a romantic picnic, during a movie night, or a quick peck while doing chores.

Different settings can bring out different aspects of his kissing style and help him become more adaptable and attentive to the mood.

10. Guided Kissing Sessions

Take the lead during your kissing sessions. Gently guide his head, move your lips a certain way, or even hold his face softly to show him how you like to be kissed.

This hands-on approach not only gives him clear, physical cues about your preferences but also helps build his confidence as he learns what works best in real time.

By actively participating in this way, you create a more connected and mutually satisfying experience, turning each kiss into a learning moment filled with affection. [Read: Make out session secrets: Sexy tips to make it way better & sizzle]

11. Use Visual Examples

Sometimes watching romantic movies or shows where characters share passionate, well-executed kisses can be educational.

Make a date night out of it and afterwards, discuss what you both liked about the kissing scenes. It’s a subtle way to show him different kissing styles and what appeals to you.

12. Discuss Previous Experiences

Share stories about your past kissing experiences—what you liked and what didn’t work for you. This isn’t about comparing him to past boyfriends but more about sharing your preferences.

You can begin the conversation with, “Usually, I like it when the kiss starts off slow, it gives me time to really feel connected and in the moment.” [Read: How to kiss someone for the first time & secrets to make sparks fly]

Be detailed in explaining what aspects make a kiss enjoyable for you, such as gentle lip pressure or subtle movements that show attentiveness and care.

13. Set a Kissing Challenge

Turn it into a fun game. Challenge each other to mimic different types of kisses – soft, passionate, playful, etc. It can be a light-hearted way to explore different styles and find out what both of you enjoy.

14. Take Breaks During Kissing

If things get too off-course, don’t be afraid to gently pull back and take a breather. Use these moments to give him a smile, a compliment, or a little guidance before diving back in. It’s like hitting the reset button, giving both of you a moment to adjust and realign.

15. Encourage Hygiene and Fresh Breath

Sometimes bad kissing is not just about technique, but also about being kiss-ready. Encourage good oral hygiene and keeping breath mints handy. It’s a basic but crucial aspect of making kissing more enjoyable.

No-no’s When Addressing the Issue

While we understand that you want your boyfriend to be the best kisser ever (why not, right?), it’s crucial to handle the situation with care. Addressing the whole bad kisser boyfriend issue can be like walking on eggshells – you don’t want to hurt his feelings or make things awkward. So, here are a few things to steer clear of when bringing up this delicate topic:

1. Discussing in Public or in Front of Friends/Family

This is a big no-no. Imagine how embarrassing it would be for your boyfriend if this private matter was brought up at a family dinner or while hanging out with friends. It can make him feel exposed and defensive, which is the opposite of what you want. [Read: Why do people get defensive? Reasons & ways to handle them]

Keep the conversation private, where he doesn’t feel like he’s being put on the spot in front of others. It’s about respecting his feelings and the intimacy of your relationship.

2. Comparing Him to Past Partners

Even if your ex was the Leonardo da Vinci of kissing, keep that info to yourself. Telling your current boyfriend that he doesn’t measure up to someone from your past can be a serious blow to his self-esteem. [Read: Easy ways to stop comparing your new guy to your ex]

It’s not about who kissed better, but about making your current relationship as fulfilling as possible. Focus on what you both can do to improve together, not on how he stacks up against others.

3. Making Jokes or Being Sarcastic About the Issue

It might be tempting to make light of the situation with a joke, but this can easily backfire. Humor can sometimes mask true feelings and might make your boyfriend feel ridiculed or belittled.

He might laugh it off on the outside, but inside, it could be hurting his confidence. Be sincere and kind in your approach; this isn’t a laughing matter for him.

4. Issuing Ultimatums or Expressing Frustration

Avoid making dramatic statements like, “You have to kiss better, or else…” Ultimatums put unnecessary pressure on the situation.

Similarly, showing frustration or impatience can make him feel inadequate and anxious. This isn’t a race; it’s about gradual improvement and enjoying the process together. Patience and encouragement are your best friends here. [Read: Relationship anxiety: What it is, 44 signs, feelings & ways to get over it]

5. Being Vague or Beating Around the Bush

While you don’t want to be harsh, being too vague won’t help either. Saying things like, “Maybe you could kiss differently?” doesn’t give him much to work with.

Be clear about what you feel is lacking and what you’d enjoy more of. But remember, it’s not just about pointing out what’s wrong – it’s equally important to guide him towards what feels right for you.

Let’s Be Real: Kissing is Important

It shouldn’t be the only factor that defines your relationship, but let’s be real: kissing is important. It’s one of the most intimate, personal parts of a relationship, and it’s totally okay to want it to be enjoyable.

You’ve done what you can – from gentle guidance to being patient, and even making it fun with little games and challenges. But sometimes, despite our best efforts, things don’t change. And that’s not your fault. It’s just one of those things where either it clicks, or it doesn’t.

If your boyfriend still can’t get his kissing game right after you’ve tried everything, then maybe it’s just not in the cards for him to be a good kisser. It sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.

At this point, it’s decision-making time for you. It’s like looking at a big puzzle – if one piece doesn’t fit, do you throw away the whole puzzle or do you appreciate the rest of it for what it is? [Read: Tiny relationship issues you’re better off ignoring]

Only you know if his other qualities outweigh the kissing issue. Is everything else about your relationship amazing enough to make this one shortfall something you can live with? Or is it like holding onto a dead fish, hoping it’ll suddenly start swimming again? [Read: 30 relationship rules, secrets & tips to make your love life way, WAY better!]

Ultimately, the decision is yours. Maybe his amazing sense of humor, his kindness, and all those little things he does that make you smile are worth more than his bad kisser boyfriend label. Or perhaps, it’s time to release that dead fish back into the sea of other women hoping to hook a keeper. Remember, you deserve to be happy and fulfilled in every aspect of your relationship, kissing included.