Boyfriend Taking You For Granted? 30 Signs, Why It Happens & Ways to Fix It

Too many people put up with others who treat them poorly. Well, we say it’s time to end it! If your boyfriend is taking you for granted, follow these tips.

You keep dropping hints about that romantic restaurant you want to try. But if your boyfriend’s still asking, ‘What’s for dinner?’ while knee-deep in his Netflix binge… well, darling, there’s a chance he’s taking you for granted.

We’re about to unpack the signs indicating your boyfriend is taking you for granted. And more importantly, guide you on how to steer that ship back to Appreciation Island *or decide if it’s time to cruise solo for a while*.

[Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend you need to leave ASAP]

The Psychology Behind a Neglectful Boyfriend

Ah, relationships. A delicate dance of mutual respect, understanding, and effort. But what happens when it feels like you’re doing the cha-cha alone, while your boyfriend is doing… well, who knows what?

In any healthy relationship, there needs to be a balance. Really, love is like an invisible emotional bank account where both partners make deposits and withdrawals of love, care, and attention.

When only one person keeps depositing, and the other keeps withdrawing *or worse, ignoring the account altogether*, the balance is disrupted, and the account—just like the relationship—heads toward bankruptcy. [Read: 30 signs of a one-sided relationship and how to fix it before it ends]

From a psychological standpoint, consistent effort from both partners is not just a ‘nice-to-have’, it’s essential. Relationships thrive on mutual validation, support, and shared responsibilities.

A boyfriend who consistently neglects his partner’s needs, consciously or unconsciously, may be dealing with his own insecurities, past traumas, or even avoidance attachment styles. But that’s a deep dive for a bit later.

The Subtle Signs He’s Taking You for Granted

If you think your significant other isn’t appreciating everything you do for him, determine if any of these signs describe him. Because let’s be real: recognizing the signs early is half the battle.

1. Emotional absenteeism

You’re sharing about your day, but he’s scrolling through his phone, giving the occasional “uh-huh”. [Read: Phubbing – what it is, 18 reasons why we phub, and ways to stop it ASAP]

Being physically present but mentally elsewhere can be a glaring sign your boyfriend is taking you for granted. Relationships thrive on attention, and if he’s in his own world when he’s with you, it’s time to have a chat.

2. You’re always the planner

Remember that weekend getaway you hinted at? Or the new cafe you both should try?

If you’re always the one initiating plans and he’s just going with the flow *or worse, not even that*, it suggests a lack of effort on his part.

3. Communication breakdown

You send a heartfelt message, and all you get back is “K”. Ouch. Or perhaps you’ve been left on read one too many times. If communication feels more like a monologue than a dialogue, that’s a warning bell. [Read: 31 sad signs he’s slowly losing interest in you and doesn’t want you anymore]

4. Lack of appreciation

The new recipe you tried, the effort you put into looking good for date night, or just being there for him during a tough time—if compliments and thank you’s are becoming rare commodities, it’s a sign he’s not valuing your efforts. [Read: 34 secrets to get a man to open up, communicate, and understand you better]

5. Taking the backseat in his priorities

He remembers his friend’s birthday party or the latest sneaker drop, but when it comes to your shared moments or plans, they’re conveniently forgotten.

If you’re consistently playing second fiddle to his other commitments, take note.

6. He assumes, rather than asks

Perhaps he thinks you’ll always be the one handling the chores or expects you to cancel your plans for his. When assumptions replace mutual decision-making, it’s a clear indication of him taking you for granted.

7. Frequent cancellations

Plans with you are often the first on the chopping block when something “better” comes up.

If he’s regularly canceling or rescheduling what you’ve planned together, it shows a lack of commitment and respect. [Read: Flaky friend – what it means, 30 reasons why they flake, and signs to ditch them]

8. Limited affection

Relationships aren’t just about grand gestures. It’s also about the little things—a hug, a kiss, or just holding hands.

If these small tokens of love are drying up, it might be an indication of deeper issues. [Read: 20 loving and romantic touches in a relationship to make you feel closer]

9. He doesn’t make sacrifices for you

Relationships often require small sacrifices, be it time, effort, or preferences. If he’s unwilling to make even minor adjustments or compromises for your happiness, it speaks volumes.

A boyfriend taking you for granted may not see the need to step out of his comfort zone, even if it means a lot to you.

10. He gets upset if you don’t do something for him

Ever faced a situation where he’s miffed because you didn’t anticipate his needs or do a particular task?

Relationships aren’t about keeping score, but if he’s holding you to expectations without voicing them and then getting upset, it’s a sign of imbalanced appreciation.

11. He’s inconsiderate when it comes to texts and phone calls

It’s not about having 24/7 communication, but common courtesy matters. If he consistently leaves you hanging or responds only when convenient for him, it’s more than just bad phone etiquette.

It could be a hint your boyfriend is taking your availability for granted. [Read: How often should a guy text if he likes you and other texting secrets]

12. He stops complimenting you

When the sweet words dry up, and you can’t remember the last time he mentioned loving your outfit or admiring your skills, take heed. While it’s not all about constant praise, consistent appreciation keeps the relationship vibrant.

13. He no longer shows interest in your day

Those check-ins, asking about how your day was, or discussing shared interests? If they’ve become rarer than a unicorn sighting and he’s more engrossed in everything but your experiences, it’s time for a reality check.

14. He makes major decisions without consulting you

Big decisions, be it about weekend plans or more serious life choices, should ideally involve both partners.

If he’s making calls without considering your input, it shows a lack of respect and value for your shared life. [Read: 68 cohabitation truths you must know before moving in and living together]

15. Your achievements are overlooked

Scored a promotion or achieved something personal? If these milestones are met with a shrug or indifference, instead of pride and joy, it might be time to reassess the relationship dynamics.

Why Does This Happen?

You might be wondering, “Is he just being an asshole?” While that’s one possible explanation, sometimes there’s more under the surface when a boyfriend is taking you for granted. Let’s dissect some potential reasons:

1. Complacency in comfort

Remember when everything was new and exciting? As time progresses, it’s common for couples to get comfortable and slide into routines.

This comfort can sometimes be mistaken for entitlement or neglect. Just because you’ve been together for a while doesn’t mean effort should wane. [Read: 31 signs your husband doesn’t value you and secrets to win back his attention]

2. External stressors

Life’s demands don’t pause for love. Be it pressures from work, friendships, or personal challenges, these external factors can divert his attention.

While it’s natural to have divided attention at times, it shouldn’t become the relationship norm.

3. Fear of vulnerability

Diving deep into emotions isn’t everyone’s forte. Some people, when confronted with deep feelings or responsibilities, might retreat or deflect. While it’s not an excuse, it’s a reason some boyfriends might seem distant or take their partners for granted. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship, open up and 28 secrets to grow closer]

4. Mismatched love languages

Everyone has their unique way of expressing love—some through words, others through actions, and so on.

If he’s not speaking your love language, it might feel like he’s neglecting the relationship, even if he thinks he’s showing care in his own way.

5. Lack of relationship role models

Growing up, if he didn’t have solid examples of balanced, loving relationships, he might not have a blueprint for how to be a considerate partner.

This can unintentionally lead to taking important aspects of the relationship for granted.

6. Avoidant attachment style

Psychologically speaking, individuals with an avoidant attachment style may distance themselves when they feel too enmeshed or close.

It’s like a reflex to protect themselves but can often come off as neglectful to their partners. [Read: Avoidant attachment style – the types, 32 symptoms, and how to love one]

7. Fear of commitment

Sometimes, when things get “too real,” people freak out. If he’s afraid of getting too attached or committing deeper, he might pull away, giving the feeling that he’s taking the relationship for granted.

8. He’s not in love anymore

This is a tough pill to swallow, but sometimes the reason your boyfriend is taking you for granted is that his feelings have evolved or diminished. Love is dynamic, it grows, changes, and sometimes, unfortunately, fades. [Read: 25 sad signs he’s not in love with you anymore and is just messing with you for fun]

If he’s consistently neglectful and distant, it could be a sign that he’s emotionally checked out of the relationship.

While it’s essential to communicate and get clarity, it’s equally important to remember that everyone deserves a partner who’s as invested in the relationship as they are.

What to Do If You Feel Taken For Granted by Your Boyfriend

Okay, so he’s definitely taking you for granted. But before throwing in the towel, let’s explore some strategies to address the issue:

1. Open the communication channels

It might sound cliché, but good ol’ talking does wonders. Express your feelings without blame.

Using “I feel” statements can prevent him from getting defensive, and you might be surprised at what comes to light when you initiate a heartfelt conversation. [Read: 31 communication exercises and games for couples and secrets to feel closer]

2. Seek couples therapy

It’s not a last resort, it’s a proactive step. A therapist can provide a neutral ground and tools to help both of you understand each other better. Remember, it’s about strengthening the bond, not pointing fingers.

3. Establish boundaries

Be clear about what you will and won’t tolerate. If your time, efforts, or emotions are consistently disregarded, set boundaries.

It’s about ensuring mutual respect and understanding in the relationship. [Read: 23 secrets to set personal boundaries and guide others to respect them]

4. Self-care and personal growth

Put yourself first for a change. Dive into activities that make you feel good, learn something new, or pick up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try.

When you focus on loving yourself, it radiates, and often, it’s a wake-up call for the one taking you for granted.

5. Re-evaluate relationship dynamics

Reflect on how the relationship has evolved. Are there patterns or cycles that keep repeating? Recognizing these can provide insights into how to break out of the rut.

6. Engage in activities separately

Spending some time apart, be it through separate hobbies or spending time with individual friend groups, can help reignite appreciation.

It offers both partners space to grow and can help in breaking any monotonous patterns. [Read: 15 ways to give space in a relationship and feel closer than ever before]

7. Know when to let go

And sometimes, after all the effort, it might be time to acknowledge the painful truth. If the dynamic doesn’t change and you still feel undervalued, remember your worth.

There’s a world out there with people who’ll recognize and cherish your value. Because girl, know your worth! What one guy won’t do for you, another one will! [Read: 20 secrets to make a man realize your worth in the relationship and value you]

You’re Worth Every Bit of Effort

Relationships are like gourmet meals—they require attention, care, and continuous effort. Love should never feel like an overlooked, reheated *and yes, probably soggy!* lasagna.

Everyone deserves to be the piping hot main course, sizzling with appreciation and mutual respect.

[Read: Dead end relationship – what it is, signs you’re stuck, and what to do about it]

If you’re nodding along, feeling this in your soul, remember: You’re worth every bit of effort. Don’t settle for less. Because when it feels like your boyfriend is taking you for granted, it’s not just about him; it’s about ensuring you get the love and respect you wholeheartedly deserve.