Boring Boyfriend: 22 Signs & What to Do to Make Love Exciting Again

You love your boyfriend, but is he a bit boring? Here are all the signs of a boring boyfriend and what you can do to make your relationship fun again.

Everybody is different. Some guys are super shy, some are really entertaining, and others are just plain boring. You may not recognize the signs of a boring boyfriend early on, because their personality could have been clouded by your enhanced perception of them at first.

If things were different at the start, everything about this guy was probably exciting, simply because it was new. However, once that phase wore off, you got to know him a bit better.

At this point, you may realize that he’s not exactly as spunky and entertaining as you might have thought.

[Read: How to not be boring and get people excited to talk and be around you]

Why are you bored with your boyfriend?

This is a question you should start thinking about. It’s a safe assumption that when you started going out with him, you didn’t find him boring. So, did he change? Or did you change?

Maybe he did change. He could have been putting on his best “face” in the dating phase to try to impress you. That’s pretty common. Many people think of dating as a kind of a job interview. You have to be your “best self” in order to get the “job.” [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend you need to leave ASAP]

But sadly, many people *especially guys* get really lazy as the relationship progresses. They think that all those cute, romantic things they did in the beginning don’t need to be done anymore. And that laziness can turn him into a very boring boyfriend.

So, maybe he changed. But maybe you changed? Have you met new friends that bring more excitement to your life? Have you developed new hobbies that he has no interest in? Maybe the change is in you, and you just don’t know it.

Another reason you might think your boyfriend is boring is that maybe you had on rose-colored glasses in the beginning. When we first start dating someone, many times we see only their good qualities. That could be partially because they are purposely hiding their bad qualities from you.

So, as time went on, the qualities that you initially liked him for have started to grate on your nerves. [Read: How to deal with a disrespectful boyfriend in the best way possible]

The warning signs of a boring boyfriend

We’ve all been fooled by a seemingly exciting person, only to find out they enjoy doing… well, nothing. The good news is that there are a few different warning signs you can catch early on if you pay close attention.

If they don’t really hang out with anyone besides you, they could have a tendency to be boring. If you ask them what hobbies they have, but they can’t really think of any, then you could be dealing with someone who could be a boring boyfriend. Take a look at these signs and ask yourself now many of them you see in your man.

1. He’s lazy

If your boyfriend rarely gets up off the couch or showers, then he is definitely lazy. And when people are lazy, they tend to be boring too. [Read: Is your boyfriend lazy and boring?]

2. He has no interests or hobbies

If all he does is sit around and watch Netflix or games on TV, then he probably doesn’t have much else going on in his life. He needs to have something interesting going on to make him more exciting.

3. He hardly leaves the house

Maybe he is a homebody. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, if it’s like pulling teeth just to get him to go do something – anything – with you, then that’s a bad sign.

4. He plays video games all the time

A lot of guys like playing video games *girls too*. But if video games have taken over his life and he’s addicted to them, that will definitely make him boring. [Read: 80 very unique, fun, exciting things to do with your boyfriend]

5. He doesn’t want to spend much time with you

If he is never up for hanging out or going out with you, then not only is he boring, he might not be fully invested in your relationship. [Read: How to tell if a guy is playing you – 40 signs he’s just using you for fun]

What to do when you’re stuck with a boring boyfriend

Luckily, you don’t have to suffer through having a boring boyfriend forever. There are different things you can do to get past the yawn-fest and even enjoy the fact that you have a laidback kind of guy.

1. Remember what drew you to him in the first place

Was it the fact that he was a really exciting person, or was it his calm demeanor that really attracted you?

Figuring out where your original feelings came from can help you to decide if the fact that he’s a little boring really makes that much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. [Read: 15 common reasons why you’re getting bored with your relationship]

2. Find out if there’s anything personal he’s dealing with

Maybe he’s not actually a boring boyfriend at heart. He could be just going through a tough time that’s making him act more withdrawn than usual.

Try to figure out if he’s going through any hardships that may leave him exhausted and unable to participate in all the fun that you want him to be having. And if you can comfort him and help him through his rough patch, you could grow even closer.

3. Talk to him

The best way to deal with a boring boyfriend is to simply talk to him. Ask him why he doesn’t want to go out and do things with you. Ask him why he’s been in such a lethargic mood lately.

Don’t necessarily use the word “boring,” though, because he may take that offensively. Just be open and honest with him. Communication is key during times like these. [Read: The best ways to get your man to start communicating with you]

4. Separate your life with him and your life with friends

The issue with your boring boyfriend may have more to do with the fact that you want him to spend time with you and your friends. So when he refuses, you think that it’s because he’s boring, not because he just doesn’t want to spend too much time with your friends.

One way to combat this is to just separate the two lives. Spend time with your friends, and then spend time with him. Don’t force him to spend too much time with you and your friends right from the get-go.

5. Start a new hobby together

The problem may be that the two of you don’t do anything together, and that’s why you think you have a boring boyfriend.

Sign up for a new class, start a new hobby, and even join a new rec sports team together! You may realize that enjoying an activity together gets rid of that boring rut you’re stuck in. [Read: 25 of the best hobbies for couples to bring two people closer to each other]

6. Use time with him as “down time”

Don’t always assume that your boyfriend is automatically your source of entertainment. Instead, look at spending time with him as your time to relax and unwind.

Viewing him as someone laidback to relax with will get rid of all those expectations that he’s clearly not reaching. It’ll also let you see him in a totally different light, which could be much more positive.

7. Schedule a weekly date night

If your boring rut is a result of not doing anything with your boyfriend, make it a priority to schedule a date night once a week.

This could help to remedy any negative feelings that you’re having about his being boring, since you’re actually going out and enjoying an activity with him. [Read: The best double dating ideas and why it’s so important for couples to go on one]

8. Spend time apart

Another reason you could be viewing him as a boring boyfriend is that you’re just spending too much time together. Maybe you’re running out of things to talk about and things to do, so you’re feeling bored.

Don’t spend all of your free time with him. Go home, relax on your own, and enjoy your own life. You’ll find that you’ll miss him even more and will thus enjoy and appreciate his company as entertainment when you do see him. [Read: Time apart in a relationship – 15 reasons why and how to do it right]

9. Find out what he’s passionate about, and get involved

He has to have something that he gets really excited about. If you find out what that is and get involved yourself, you’ll be able to enjoy his passions with him.

This will work wonders to diminish any feelings of boredom. You’ll be front row when he gets really excited about something that he loves.

10. Do exciting things with friends

Don’t put the pressure on your boyfriend to be the exciting one. If your boyfriend is particularly boring, and you still want to have some adventure, choose your friends to fill that void.

They can be the ones to travel with and do crazy things with, and your boyfriend can be the one you come home to and tell about all your amazing adventures. [Read: How to have fun with friends – 40 ways to beat boredom together]

11. Become friends with his friends

Your boyfriend probably has a really fun time with his friends, and he’s probably never boring around them. Try getting to know his friends better and even become their friends so that they invite you to tag along when they do fun things.

You’ll come to see just how fun your boyfriend truly is when he has the opportunity to have a good time with friends without the pressure of trying to be the “fun” one all the time.

12. Try “bucket list” activities

Everyone should have a list of things they want to do before they die. If you don’t have one yet, then make one together. This will get him thinking more creatively about being more exciting in life.

Once you create the list, then you both should make a good attempt to actually do as many of them as you can! It can be anything from sky diving or zip-lining to visiting new places around your town.

Having a bucket list will serve as a guidebook for you guys to have some fun and not have your boyfriend sit around being boring all the time. [Read: Couples bucket list – 20 things all couples must do to create fun memories]

13. Get a book of questions

There are a lot of books you can find that have some crazy, thought-provoking questions. Some examples include “Would you run naked for 3 blocks in a major city in broad daylight for $1,000,000?” Or “Do you believe aliens exist – why or why not?”

You can even find websites with these kinds of questions, or you can even come up with your own. So, instead of just sitting on the couch watching Netflix all night, turn off the TV, pour a glass of wine, and start asking each other these fun, wild questions! [Read: 30 naughty and sexy questions for couples to keep the sexy spark alive]

14. Evaluate whether or not this is the relationship for you

Not everybody is meant for you, and maybe this boyfriend isn’t “the one.” Some people need a lot more excitement in their lives than what others can offer.

If this the case for you and you’re truly unhappy with your relationship, you may want to consider breaking things off with him and finding someone who can meet your needs. [Read: What you need to do when your boyfriend doesn’t make time for you]

What makes two people compatible?

Not everyone is a perfect match. In fact, most couples are not each other’s perfect match. Sometimes that leads to problems, and sometimes they can work through them.

But if you think you have a boring boyfriend, you need to think about the similarities and differences you have so that you can assess whether or not you really belong together.

1. Introvert vs. extrovert

If you are an extrovert and like to be on the go and socialize all the time, then maybe you will think that your boyfriend is boring. That doesn’t mean he is boring, but from your point of view, he is.

Introverts really prefer to be by themselves a lot. They might be homebodies and don’t want to socialize as much as extroverts. So, he sees staying at home reading a book or watching a movie as a fun activity, while you want to go out and party.

If there is this fundamental difference between the two of you, then it’s no surprise that you would find your boyfriend boring. He might not think he’s boring, because introverts can be very interesting people. But if he’s not interesting to you, then you are not a good match. [Read: How to get your boyfriend to be more affectionate and loving]

2. Spontaneity vs. predictability

Maybe you are a very spontaneous person. You are up for doing anything at any time with very little notice. You like change, and you like excitement. You would drop everything in an instant if someone gave you the chance to do something wild.

Spontaneity can be a lot of fun! But it can also make some people uncomfortable. These kinds of people prefer to plan things out and have a predictable schedule in life.

That doesn’t necessarily mean they are boring, they just operate differently than you. But for a spontaneous person like you, this kind of behavior can feel very limiting.

3. Hobbies and interests

Some people don’t have a lot of hobbies or pastimes that they like doing. Others have a lot they enjoy doing. It could be running, tennis, sports, happy hour, art, going to festivals, or any other kind of activity under the sun.

If you and your boyfriend do not share the same interests or hobbies, then you are probably incompatible And it’s not surprising that you would think he is boring. It is important for a healthy relationship for the two of you to like doing the same things. [Read: What you should do if your boyfriend is taking you for granted]

Bottom line

If after you read this feature, you think that there is still nothing you can do to change your boring boyfriend, then you should really re-think the relationship.

Sometimes, people hang on to a romance too long because they fear being alone. Or maybe they just don’t feel like going through the dating process all over again. But you really need to think about whether or not you could spend the rest of your life with this person.

If the answer to this question is “no,” then you probably should find someone else who you find exciting. It might not be easy, but it would be worth it in the long run.

[Read: Not happy in your relationship? How to choose a path that’s right for you]

Having a boring boyfriend isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but at the end of the day, it’s for you to decide if this guy is truly your Prince Charming, laidback personality and all, or if you need to keep on looking.