Is She Flirting with Me or Not? 8 Quickest Signs to Read Her Mind

She’s looking your way and smiling. Do you wonder, is she flirting with me? Here’s how to tell whether she is or just a friendly lady!

The problem with flirting is that it can be surprisingly subtle. If you’ve ever wondered, is she flirting with me, you understand what I mean! It’s designed that way for a reason. It’s a way to find out if someone likes you back. Seriously, you’re not going to go all out and tell them or really show them, are you?

Flirting is a way of putting your hand half in the “do they/don’t they” mix, without actually going all in. So, if it crashes and burns, you can shrug your shoulders and say you’re just being friendly.

Clever, right?

By being half in and half out, you’re actually not giving the person you’re flirting with a clear signal. They might be confused about whether you’re flirting or being friendly. As a result, you might not make a move in fear of being wrong about the whole thing.

Seriously, why can’t we just be honest and say what we think and feel? [Read: How to know if someone likes you back: Don’t miss these subtle signs]

Is she flirting with me?

Women flirt far more subtly than men do, in my opinion. With a guy, you can normally tell that he’s attempting to get onto your good side, but a woman? She half expects you to guess what she’s trying to tell you.

By no means am I being insulting here. I say this because I’m a woman and that’s what I do!

So, answering the whether she is flirting with you or not can be hard. The good news is that there are a few clues that point to whether you have a flirty kitten in your midst, or a girl who’s just friendly. [Read: How girls flirt – 15 signs she’s clearly being more than just nice]

If you’re not sure if you’re dealing with flirtation or friendliness, look out for the following signs. However, don’t jump in feet first if you notice just one sign. Stop and figure out if there are two or more. Then you can be pretty sure that, yes, she’s flirting with you!

#1 She looks at you, smiles, and looks away. Basically, this is an invitation to talk to her. She’s silently trying to invite you to! It’s the single most obvious ‘is she flirting with me’ yes sign. If she’s not flirting with you, then it means she’s flirting with someone standing behind you! [Read: Signs of unspoken attraction that will reveal if someone is into you]

#2 She makes excuses to be around you. If she’s around you more often than she normally would be, or she’s there when there’s no actual reason for her to be there, it’s because she’s choosing to be.

Yes, this could mean she thinks you’re a great conversationalist and likes spending time with you in a platonic way. But if you notice a few more of the flirting signs too, it’s a pretty firm nod towards the ‘yes’ camp. [Read: 15 signs to know if you should start flirting back with a work colleague]

#3 She touches you casually. Does she casually nudge you or touch your arm? Women don’t do this unless they want to touch the person in front of them. She wants to touch you because she likes you!

A good example is when she laughs at something you’ve said *it probably wasn’t even that funny* and nudges you playfully. She might even look intently at you when you’re talking, showing her interest, and touch your arm gently in an almost absent-minded way.

#4 She licks her lips or bites her lip. She’s majorly flirting if she does this! Is she flirting with me? Yes, she is! It’s an even bigger yes if you notice that she is looking at you, smiling, then looking away. Lips are sensual. If she is biting her lip or licking her lips and looking at you shows that she’s probably not thinking completely pure thoughts! [Read: The scientific explanation behind why lip biting is so sexy]

#5 She mirrors your body language. We all do this if we like someone. It’s a subconscious thing that we do without even realizing it. If you notice that she is mirroring your body language, e.g. if you’re learning casually against the wall and she starts to do it too, it shows that she’s comfortable with you. But it’s also a sign that she likes you. [Read: 15 body language cues a girl gives away if she really likes you]

#6 She laughs at your jokes, funny or not. Sorry, but nobody is going to laugh at your jokes if they’re not funny. If she’s laughing a louder laugh than the joke deserves, she’s definitely flirting. She’s also likely to accompany this with a playful nudge or a touch on the arm.

#7 She tries to find out your relationship status. She might playfully question whether or not you have a partner. She might not come right out and ask you, but she might say something like “oh, your partner must like that” and then look at you waiting for a response. She’s basically waiting for you to say “I don’t have a partner.” You might notice the intensity of her flirting goes up a notch! [Read: Is she actually hiding her feelings for you?]

#8 She plays with her hair. If she’s playfully messing with her hair while talking to you, she’s nervous  and also flirting with you. Now, I am a woman and I do this, but I can’t tell you why. Again, perhaps it’s subconscious and something we do when we’re a little nervy, or perhaps trying to say “look at my hair, it’s so shiny.” Who knows, but it’s a surefire flirtation sign.

You’ll be wondering, is she flirting with me, before you come to the real conclusion. You might think that she is and then she might go cold or back off a little, making you wonder whether you got it all wrong. Again, this is normal. It’s probably something you’re going to experience at some point. [Read: How to tell if she’s an attention seeker who just wants you to fall for her]

The bottom line is that when we’re flirting, we’re opening ourselves up to possible hurt. We’re vulnerable. With that in mind, it’s possible that she’s convinced herself that you don’t like her in the same way, so she’s pulling back to save herself and her own heart.

We’re all complicated creatures, so don’t try and make sense of it. Simply look for the signs and see how many of them you can tick off. When you have a few, it’s likely she is flirting up a storm. It’s then up to you to figure out how you feel and whether you want to flirt right back! [Read: What does sexual attraction feel like – How to know exactly]

If so, do her a favor and let her know that you like her back. Put the poor girl out of her misery! If you don’t, make it known in a gentle and platonic way, and let her move her flirtation skills onto someone else who might be the one for her.

[Read: How to tell if a girl likes you by the way she texts you]

Flirting can be difficult to figure out. If you’re wondering is she flirting with me, you won’t be the first or the last to wonder. But knowing what clues to look for will help you decide your next step.