How to Make Anal Sex Less Painful: A Happy Bum Guide to Pain-Free Sex

Anal sex always gets a bad rap, but that’s only because people aren’t doing it right. It’s time to find out how to make anal sex less painful.

If you’re thinking about having anal sex for the first time or if you’ve had it before but want a more pleasurable experience, you need to understand how to make anal sex less painful. There’s no other way around it.

Sure, use trial and error, but no one will have fun during the process. So, that’s why I’m here. I want happy bums worldwide. It’s time you come prepared with the knowledge and tools for a mind-blowing anal sex adventure. In other words, lube. But there are also some other helpful tips to know.

How to make anal sex less painful

Ah yes, the ever-so-mysterious anal sex. When it comes to sex, it’s supposed to make you feel good. You’re supposed to feel relaxed and connected to your partner while having your mind blown away. [Read: This is how you can make your sex more enjoyable]

When it comes to anal sex, people automatically become uncomfortable with the idea of having a penis in their bum. Now, the question is, why? It’s because of the association we’ve made in our heads about anal sex.

In reality, anal sex is a lot of fun and can certainly hit the spot, which is what you want. But I get it, many people have been traumatized by not being prepared for anal sex, and it’s a real shame. Because anal sex is a lot of fun.

#1 Be prepared. I can’t stress this enough. If you’re on the receiving end of anal sex, you need to prepare your body. Sure, you can go from never having anal sex to having a large penis in your anus, but that’s going to be traumatizing. You need to work your way up. Start off with trying a finger, then a sex toy, slowly working your way up. [Read: Anal sex mistakes that you’re probably making]

#2  Learn about the anus. Hey, it’s your bum. You need to know how everything works down there. Go on Google, get an anatomy book, and learn what the anus is about. There are a lot of nerve endings centered around the anus, which is why anal sex can be such a strong experience for people. [Read: The embarrassing sex questions most of us are too shy to ask]

#3 Talk to your partner. If you’re new to anal sex, this is something you should share with your partner. You’re going to be nervous and your partner should know. That way, they take more time and are more aware of how you’re feeling and reacting during the experience. Plus, who knows how they’re feeling about it as well.

#4 Chill out. If you’re tense, so is your anus. I know having a penis inside of your anus may sound like a big thing, but it’s not. Of course, you’re going to be a bit nervous on your first try, but if you follow these tips, you shouldn’t have any problems. The more relaxed you are, the better experience you’ll have. Plus, your anus will physically relax which is exactly what you need.

#5 Focus on foreplay. Before having anal sex, you need to be foreplay focused. Foreplay is essential for preparing the body and mind for sex. You’ll need at least 20 to 30 minutes of foreplay before engaging in anal sex. Foreplay will allow the body and mind to relax which will physically relax the anus. Think of it like warming up a car in winter. Except the car is your bum. [Read: How to prepare for anal sex – A beginners’ guidebook]

#6 Warm up the ass. Foreplay warms up the mind and body, but it’s time to focus on the ass. You need to externally stimulate the anus. Get your partner to use their fingers to rub and press against the anus, making it ready for something larger. Make sure they start with the smallest finger, working their way up.

#7 Always use lube. I cannot express this any more clearly. You MUST use lube if you want to learn how to make anal sex less painful. It’s like squeezing a wiener into a dry hot dog bun–ouch. Not using lube will be the biggest mistake in your life and since you’re reading this, you’re not someone who’s into pain for pleasure. Always use lube. Always, always, always. And no, spit isn’t going to be enough. [Read: How to use lubricant to liven up your sex life]

#8 Choose the right lube. You know lube is important but choosing the right lube is especially essential. Try to buy lube which focuses on anal sex, they’ll be silicone-based products. A silicone-based lube will make things extra slippery and won’t break the condom. Oh, and you’re going to be needing a lot of lube for anal sex, so pick a decent brand.

#9 Don’t forget the condom. You need to wear a condom. When it comes to anal, remember, it involves the bum. We all know what comes out of bums. You need to protect yourself from bacteria and STDs. If you’re going to be having vaginal sex after anal, you MUST change the condom. No anal bacteria should enter into the vagina.

#10 The position is everything. If you choose the wrong position for anal sex, it can be extremely painful for you or your partner. Anal sex isn’t like vaginal sex. You can’t be as creative. Choose positions which feel comfortable for you. If you’re not sure, always go for doggy style. You can’t go wrong in doggy style. [Read: 12 anal sex positions that make backdoor sex so darn good]

#11 If you’re using toys, be careful. If you’re going to be using a toy, you can, but you need to be careful. Picking the wrong toy could lead to you with a sex toy stuck up your ass. That’s definitely a doctor’s trip you don’t want to go on. Make sure the toys are either wide at the base or have a cable/ring attached to the bottom of it.

#12 Don’t use numbing creams. When it comes to knowing how to make anal sex less painful, you may wrongly assume that numbing creams are the way to go. No. You shouldn’t be using numbing creams when having anal sex. I know it sounds like a definite way to avoid pain, but you shouldn’t be avoiding pain. If you can’t feel that something is hurting you, then you can do some real damage to your anus. Pain is your friend and your guide through anal sex.

#13 Don’t rush. Anal sex is exciting, but it’s not something to rush through. You need time to get things going. Make sure you spend enough time during foreplay and that your partner slowly works their way up to using their penis or sex toy. Just go slow. [Read: 17 sexy foreplay moves to make anyone hot and horny]

#14 Enjoy! What more can I say? You should be having a fun and safe time! Don’t get in your head while having anal. Take the experience for what it is and have some hot and wet anal sex. Make sure you’re having anal for the right reasons then there’s no way you won’t have a good time.

[Read: All the backdoor secrets to enjoy anal sex]

Poor anal sex, always getting a bad rap. It’s time to debunk the anal sex myths by following these helpful tips when it comes to knowing how to make anal sex less painful.