46 Subtle Questions & Signs to Know a Man Will Be REALLY Good in Bed!

If you’re looking for signs a man will be good in bed, you need to look toward the subtle end of the spectrum. Handily, there are some things to look for. 

Knowing if a guy will blow your mind between the sheets can be very tricky. They don’t have “A-grade Lover” stamped anywhere on their butts, so you will have to rely on instinct and understand a few signs a man will be good in bed.

Not all guys are the same, so you will have to look deeper into their actions and attitudes. And it might surprise you, but being great between the sheets doesn’t always come down to size, body type, or bravado. [Read: Confident or cocky? 16 subtle signs that split an arrogant & modest man]

Does their personality and attitude tell you anything?

Unless you ask them about the last few people they slept with, you can never know how a guy really is in bed. You can assume the best of them when they treat you well, but that is not the only precursor to their prowess in the sack.

Even if they’re nice to you, it doesn’t mean that they have enough experience to actually deem themselves experts in the bedroom.

Some men are shy and aloof, which begs the question as to whether they have the necessary tools to actually learn how to please a woman. But then again, maybe they’ll surprise you!

You cannot rely on playboys either, because the amount of people they slept with is not a good basis for their abilities.

Some guys are just in it for the numbers or their self-serving interests. Some guys aren’t even conscious of their partner’s needs. [Read: 18 sexy ways to be incredibly good in bed and leave anyone wanting more]

Can you base their abilities on their looks alone?

Some people will tell you not to trust a guy who looks too good. Those people probably think that good-looking guys don’t bother honing their skills, because they can get almost any girl they want with their looks alone.

There are even those who would bet on average-looking guys because they look like they’re willing to work to enhance their skills in bed.

This type of pre-judging paves the way for a boatload of disappointment when you and your date finally get each other’s clothes off.

Basing a person’s skill in bed on their appearance is absolutely useless. Looks alone cannot determine whether a guy can be good in bed.

An attractive person can be just as bad in bed as someone who’s equally unattractive. You don’t get to be a master in the sexual arts just by looking like it. [Read: Psychology of attraction – the types and the ones that make you fall in love]

What makes a guy good in bed?

So, all of this brings us to the million-dollar question: what actually makes a guy good in bed? Well, in some ways it’s subjective. What one person thinks is good in bed might be another person’s nightmare.

However, being attentive, respectful, listening, eager to please, and open with communication all tend to point toward a guy who’s likely to be a win between the sheets. But then you could also throw in someone who is experimental, keen to try new things, or open to kinks.

It really depends on what you’re looking for! [Read: What does sexual attraction feel like? 15 hot signs to recognize it]

Signs a man will be good in bed

Even if these signs are present in the man that you’re seeing, it is not a 100% guarantee that he is going to be excellent in bed.

Possessing these traits shows a high probability of their capacity to pleasure a partner, but it doesn’t present a definite confirmation.

However, it’s not a bad place to start! Check out these signs a man will be good in bed and see how your guy scores. [Read: Lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]

1. He’s proud of his accomplishments but doesn’t brag

When a guy knows that he’s good at something, like a hobby or his career, he is likely to tell you about it in a way that doesn’t shy away from his accomplishments without bragging.

By being honest about the good things in his life, he can give you a hint about his accomplishments without having to brag about it.

A guy who is good in bed wants you to know he is good in bed, but won’t go out of his way to advertise that fact.

2. He’s generous

Men who are inherently generous find joy in the act of giving. This type of attitude reflects in the way they handle themselves in the bedroom.

They enjoy sex just as much as the next guy, but they will always make sure that their partner gets what they need by the end of the night. [Read: The big issues on a man’s mind when having sex]

3. He’s a gentleman

These types of guys adhere to the adage, “Ladies first.” He won’t allow himself to finish knowing that a girl hasn’t achieved an orgasm yet.

Not only that, gentlemen are more likely to make women feel empowered and taken care of because of their penchant for avoiding offense. [Read: Surefire ways to know you’re dating a real gentleman]

4. He walks confidently and naturally

A man who is sure of himself usually walks with an air of self-assurance, not with a swagger. This means that he has little to no doubt in his abilities as a man in his career, social circle, and love life.

5. He’s intuitive

Some men base their decisions on instinct alone and the way they assess other people’s feelings. This type of mindset is very useful in the bedroom because they pay attention to what’s going on with their bodies as well as their partners. [Read: Gut instinct – what it is, how it works, and 30 tips to follow and listen to your gut]

6. He’s smart

Intelligent men know what they are doing because they apply everything they’ve learned in life to any given situation.

They know how to do things the right way because it is the smart way. Their scientific attitudes are usually reflected in their bedroom prowess as well.

7. He’s confident

A man can be confident because he knows that he can deliver. He does not second-guess himself and he knows how to admit that he’s wrong.

If a man has had enough sexual experiences, he probably knows exactly what to do and how to do it without doubting his abilities. [Read: 55 secrets and self-love habits to build confidence and realize your worth]

8. He’s a good dancer

Good dancers have an innate sense of rhythm—they know how to move and when to move. They also have a good sense of body position, so they probably know where to put things and how to move them once it’s there.

9. He’s a good kisser

Kissing is an instinctual act that needs no direct instruction or direction. When you kiss a person, you do it by feeling for your partner’s reactions. Good kissers know how to move their mouths and bodies with their partners.

It’s very likely that they would do the same when making love. [Read: 104 kissing tips to be a good kisser and make them want to eat your lips!]

10. He can laugh at himself

When a guy can appreciate humor in certain situations, it probably means that he is not the type of person who will back down from a challenge.

He can just laugh it off and have another go. In terms of psyching yourself up for sex, that’s probably the best type of attitude you can expect.

11. He’s a little vain *but not too much*

It’s not really a good attribute as a whole, but it does work well for their sexual partners. A vain person is almost always concerned about how people see them.

In order to keep their vanity in check, they will probably do their best to outshine your past partners’ performances.

12. He asks a lot of questions

Curiosity is always a good sign that shows a man is good in bed. If they’ve been this way for a long time, you can be sure that they’ve already asked the right questions and got the necessary answers from their past partners. [Read: 28 awkward questions to ask a guy and weird, embarrassing ones not to]

13. He holds your hand with just enough pressure

This can be a good sign that your partner will be an adequate lover, at least.

He holds your hand with just the right amount of force, showing that he won’t be too gentle. But he also doesn’t grab it with too much force, showing that he can be aggressive in bed.

14. He makes you feel gorgeous

If a guy makes you feel like the total apple of his eye and nothing short of a deity, can you imagine what he’s going to do when you’re in bed together? You’ll feel amazing! [Read: How to feel good about yourself and kick ass in all aspects of life]

15. He’s a super ambitious person

A man who knows what he wants and goes after it is a man who is unstoppable. So, it goes to show that he’ll probably be just as unstoppable in bed too.

16. He makes serious, intense eye contact with you

There’s something undeniably sexy about a guy who isn’t afraid to make eye contact. We’re not talking about staring—we’re talking about the sexy type that makes you feel naked, even if you’re fully clothed.

This type of guy is likely to be a winner between the sheets and it’s one of the signs a man will be good in bed. [Read: What does eye contact mean to a guy? Is he a subtle flirt?]

17. He doesn’t rush anything

No, it doesn’t mean he’s too laid-back, it means he’s willing to take his time to savor the good stuff in life.

So, that also means he’ll savor the time he has in bed with you too. Rushing sex just leads to disappointment but when you savor it… wow!

18. He’s non-judgmental

A non-judgmental guy is open-minded and happy to see or try most things in life. That means he’s not going to judge your kinks and might be quite up for trying them out himself. [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime!]

19. He’s a great talker

There are two sides to this. Firstly, if he’s comfortable talking about anything, that means you can talk about sex without feeling awkward. That’s definitely important for a mind-blowing time in bed.

Secondly, it might also mean that he’s great at dirty talk, making it one of the signs a man will be good in bed! [Read: How to dirty talk – 36 sexy tips and 55 examples to turn anyone on with words]

20. He uses his hands in a way that suggests he knows what he’s doing

A confident man uses his hands in a way that leaves you under no illusions that he knows exactly what he’s doing. He can handle anything, and do you know what that means? He can handle you!

21. He’s physically and emotionally fit

A guy doesn’t need to have six pack to be good in bed, but if he takes care of himself both physically and emotionally, he’s going to have more energy and be more focused on the job at hand. It will be more fun than drama. [Read: 20 signs of emotional maturity and traits that reveal a mature mind]

22. When you ask him to stop doing something, he stops

This is vital and definitely one of the signs a man will be good in bed. You have to trust your sexual partner and that means if you tell them to stop, they have to stop immediately, and vice versa.

If he does this, you can trust him and know that you’ll have a great time.

23. You feel genuinely comfortable around him

Good sex means feeling comfortable with the person you’re with. It allows you to be free to enjoy the moment and lose yourself in the sensations.

If a guy makes you feel comfortable and able to be yourself, that’s definitely a sign to look for. [Read: How to be good at sex – 32 sex secrets that make you the hottest lay]

The best sexual questions to ask a guy that’ll reveal his game in the bedroom

Now you know the signs a man will be good in bed, you might want to confirm your suspicions. So, start asking some questions.

However, don’t fire question after question at him—he will feel like he’s in an interview and that’s not in the slightest bit sexy!

Here are a few sexual questions to ask a guy to get you started. 

Just slip them in in your texts, or when you’re flirting with him in person. It’s naughty, gets him worked up, and gives you all the sexual answers you need as well! Win-win however you see it! [Read: What turns a guy on? 51 subtle sexual turn-ons that arouse men in seconds!]

1. When did you lose your virginity?

So long as you’re at a point where discussing this isn’t that big of a deal, asking will reveal a lot. If he lost it early, that can indicate more experience.

But if he lost it rather recently, it could show you he’s more sensitive and willing to learn.

2. How long were you with the person you lost your virginity to?

This can reveal a lot more than just asking when he lost it. If he dated them for a long time, he’s probably more respectful than a guy who was only with someone for a short while or lost it on a one-night stand. [Read: 15 true stories of losing virginity that aren’t so sexy]

3. What’s your favorite position?

This tells you a lot about his sexual style. 

If he prefers missionary, he’s either vanilla in bed or prefers to make love passionately. Liking doggy style or any of those standard positions shows you he’s down for a typical romp, which makes this one of the best sexual questions to ask a guy. 

But if he tells you a position you’re not really familiar with or is rarer, he could be a lot more experienced. Bonus points if he can’t pick a favorite. That shows he’s a little more adventurous than the average guy! [Read: 45 minxy sex moves and positions to impress a guy and blow his mind in bed!]

4. How much do you love giving oral? 

This is one of those sexual questions to ask a guy to give you a real idea of what it may be like in bed. A guy who will take a blowjob but not reciprocate the oral action isn’t one you want to have. 

If he answers this question with enthusiasm, you’re in luck. Now you just have to see if he can walk the walk instead of just talk the talk.

5. Do you prefer a blowjob or actual sex?

Most guys will say they like them for different reasons. 

Be wary of a guy who says he likes blowjobs most because it’s an indication that he might be a little more selfish in the bedroom. He’d rather just receive a good time than make an effort for it. [Read: 49 blowjob techniques, positions, and tips to give good head]

6. What is the naughtiest thing you’ve done in bed?

If you’ve asked the other questions and aren’t completely sure about him just yet, ask this one. It’ll make him open up about how crazy he gets in bed and that will tell you more than you need to know. 

7. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?

Some people aren’t up for sex in public or even sex anywhere besides the bedroom. 

You’ll find out what his limits are and that’ll help you figure out if he’d be a good match for you sexually. [Read: Outdoor sex – 24 best, hottest places and ways to make it less risky]

8. What would you do if I answered the door naked?

Ask him this if you really want to give him something to think about. Not only will you figure out just how much he wants to sleep with you, but you’ll also get a feel for his level of self-control. [Read: 23 signs to know if someone is thinking of you sexually and desires you]

9. What’s your favorite foreplay move?

If he doesn’t answer anything specific, it’s a sign he probably doesn’t do much for foreplay, which is not a good thing. 

A guy who goes into more detail here clearly enjoys foreplay and will actually make an effort to get you warmed up first. That’s certainly one of the signs a man will be good in bed.

10. How long is the longest you’ve had sex for?

Any guy will exaggerate this. So take the time he says and cut it down a bit in order to determine the real answer. 

But if it’s pretty short, he might not be that generous in bed. That’s why this is one of the best sexual questions to ask a guy if you want to know what the experience may be like. [Read: Average time for sex – How long we want vs how long we last]

11. What’s a naughty sexual fantasy of yours?

Fantasies tell us so much about what someone really wants in bed. 

Knowing one of his can help you determine if he’s adventurous, dirty, erotic, or just a normal guy. It’ll be up to you to decide if you want to try it. [Read: Top 50 kinky ideas that are worth trying at least once]

12. Do you watch a lot of porn?

There’s nothing wrong with watching porn. Just keep in mind that guys who do watch a ton of porn tend to act like the people in porn.

And that means he might have some unrealistic expectations or might have learned everything he knows from porn. And that’s not good for you. [Read: Why men watch porn instead of their woman in bed]

13. What’s a big turn-off in bed for you?

Firstly, it’s great for you to know this before getting in bed with him. Secondly, it’ll help give you some inside knowledge as to what he really likes and doesn’t like. If you know one turn-off, you can usually figure out the others.

14. Do you ever use lube?

Any guy who has some experience will say “yes!” because lube is extremely useful. Even if you don’t need it, it still adds some extra fun and pleasure. 

Only a guy who’s a bit more insecure will say something like, “No. The girls I’ve been with never need it.” [Read: How to use lubricants to liven up your sex life instantly]

15. Have you ever used a sex toy while having sex?

Sex toys can do a lot for sex even if it’s already great. If he’s experienced with sex toys, he probably likes to have a bit more fun than the average guy in the bedroom. He also has a greater chance of wanting to get you off than others.

16. Do you always practice safe sex?

Make sure that he says “yes” to this one. If he’s at all vague on the details or he seems to avoid the question, that’s a huge red flag.

A guy who plays Russian roulette with his sexual health, or the sexual health of his partner, isn’t someone you want in your life. 

You could also take it a step further and try and find out whose responsibility it is to ensure safe sex. It’s down to both of you, but if he hints it’s the girl’s business, get out of there! [Read: How to have safe sex and the dangers of unprotected sex most don’t know]

17. Have you ever had a threesome?

You need to ask this one in a jokey manner. If you ask too seriously or with a naughty smile, he might think that you’re actually up for it! 

If you are, that’s fine, but if you’re not and you’re just curious, you could end up with a rather awkward conversation! But, this question will certainly tell you a lot about his experience level and his experimental side. [Read: 57 rules to have a threesome and the best three-way tips and positions]

18. What is the longest you’ve gone without sex for?

He might not want to tell you the truth here, but you can work out whether he’s lying or not by his body language.

Knowing how long he’s gone without sex can tell you a lot about his dating past and his sexual appetite. [Read: How often should you have sex? 15 signs you’re not having enough]

19. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?

If you want to know whether you’re about to get it on with someone with an extremely kinky side, this question will tell you. It might be that he’s never indulged in kink of any kind, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to at some point. Maybe that could be with you!

20. What’s your go-to sex move?

Every guy has a move. Even if they don’t realize it, there’s usually something they always do when they’re in bed with a girl. 

Well, the guy you’re crushing is sure to have his own signature move. You just need to know what it is! [Read: Sex in a new relationship – How to make the first time less awkward] 

Bad signs that suggest a guy isn’t so great in bed

Of course, when looking for signs a man will be good in bed, it’s also about looking for the red flags too. There are a few key ones you need to know so you can avoid this type of guy at all costs.

1. His masculinity is easily threatened

A guy who feels this way is not going to be great between the sheets. He’s lacking in confidence and probably places his own needs before anyone else’s. Avoid! [Read: What is masculinity? 46 manly and toxic traits women love and despise in men]

2. He’s a total peacock

A guy who feels the need to show off and peacock his way through life isn’t being himself. That means whatever experience you have in bed with him won’t be authentic. So, how can you really enjoy it?

3. He’s always interrupting you

Beware! This means he’s probably a selfish lover who will put his own pleasure way before yours. [Read: Selfishness in relationships – 15 tips to do the right thing]

Good sexual performance is about far more than looks

Don’t be fooled by the over-confident, good-looking type of guy. Sure, he might make your heart skip a beat but if he doesn’t know what to do in bed, he’s not going to satisfy you.

Learning if a guy is going to be good in bed or not can only go so far. Looks can certainly be very deceiving and you’re far better off looking at his personality traits and how he behaves. Even then, he might surprise you if and when the time comes!

[Read: Little secrets women should know about men]

Instead of focusing on signs a man will be good in bed, take the time to know them better and see what you can find out about them. That’s what dating is all about.