Do You Believe in Love? Why We Give Up & 31 Truths to Find Hope Again

You might have been hurt in the past, but do you still believe in love? Love is a beautiful thing, and you should never give up on it. Keep your faith! 

Love evokes strong feelings all the time, whether you care for it or hate it.

Where do you stand when it comes to love? Do you believe in love? Or are you happy running from one arm to another?

All of us are entitled to our opinions. But almost always, the believers and nonbelievers of love can be split with just one ideology.

The believers in love are the ones that are happy in it. The non-believers are the ones who have had their hearts broken by it. [Read: Reasons why you’re unable to find true love]

What exactly is love? 

You might think that you know what love is, but do you really? You probably haven’t ever really sat down and thought about it. So, here is what exactly defines love.

1. The intense emotion of likeness

We all know what it feels like to like someone. But liking and loving aren’t exactly the same thing.

When you love someone, that emotion of “liking” someone is taken to the extreme. You want to have physical affection and a deep desire to take care of them.

2. Selflessness

When you really love someone, you put your partner’s needs, desires, and happiness at least equal to – if not before – your own.

This means you’re willing to put the person you love’s happiness and satisfaction above your joy and pleasure

And you don’t do this because you have to – it’s because you want to. Everyone about love is voluntary and done from the heart. [Read: Selfless love – 18 traits that set it apart from selfish love]

3. Prioritization

When you love someone, they are your number one priority.

All other people and things just follow them. Because of this, you feel obligated to meet their needs at all times. You feel the need to be the best version of yourself for them. 

4. Sacrifice

Even if you don’t feel in the mood to do something or don’t have the energy, you still make the effort to help the one you love. Your time, energy, and other resources come second to them.

You always go the extra mile, and you probably wouldn’t do that for anyone else. They are special in your life. [Read: Am I in love? 47 fuzzy signs of being in love that’s beyond lust and crushes]

5. Desire

Even if you’re not the kind of person who wants to be around the same person 24/7, you don’t feel that way about the person you’re in love with.

You have a genuine desire to be around the person you love all the time because you want to soak in as much of them as you can – as often as you can.

6. Protectiveness

You will always stand up for the person you love and have their back. If they need defending, you will step up and do it.

You are always by their side and have their interest at heart. And they do the same for you too.

The defense mechanism of hating love

If you think about it, the feeling of love is a defense mechanism.

When you’re happy in it, you feel like you’ve got a perfect life that’s full of happiness. And when you’re not happy in a relationship, your mind forces you to avoid falling in love because it makes you miserable.

There are people who constantly debate about the good and bad sides of love, and to be impartial to both sides, and both sides offer a good argument. [Read: Love sucks! 36 reasons why we hate it and yet crave for it]

Do you really need love in your life?

No, you don’t. Let’s face it, true love is a luxury that few can boast of. But then again, love does make life more meaningful and satisfying. [Read: Love addiction – 65 signs you’re addicted to relationships and how to free yourself]

There are so many things in life that we don’t need, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want them.

Many of us are tied down in unhappy marriages and broken relationships, and sometimes, especially in the darkest of times, all of us wonder if it’s just better to stay single. 

You can still get emotional support from friends, and sex from a series of one-night stands. And if that’s as good as love will ever get for us, really, do we have a choice?

If you’ve been in a happy relationship for a while, or have been in a series of perfectly happy relationships until you had to break up, you probably look at love in a good light.

On the other hand, a couple of painful relationships in the past can make anyone dislike love.

If you experience heartbreak one too many times, you may not care too much about love because all it makes you feel is pain. [Read: Does serial monogamy make it easier to believe in love?]

Reasons to keep believing in love

It’s easy to get down on love, especially if you’ve just broken up or have been unlucky in love. But there are many reasons not to give up on it. Here is why you should keep believing in love.

1. Love truly exists

It might not feel like love truly exists, but it does. Think about it. Whether it’s the love of a mother for a child or a happily married couple that has been together 50 years, it does exist. All you have to do is look around and you’ll see love everywhere.

2. Believing in love attracts love

Love is actually a vibration, and it can be measured. It’s the highest vibrating human emotion there is.

So, the higher you vibrate in love, the more likely you will attract love to yourself. Because as the saying goes, “like attracts like.” [Read: Law of attraction – 37 secrets to manifest love and bring your dream to life]

3. To love and be loved makes a better life

Almost everyone in this world has the desire to love and be loved. Giving and receiving love makes every person’s life better.

It brings us peace, comfort, and harmony. Showing another person affection and care is one of life’s greatest joys.

4. Love can lighten you up

There is an old song from the 1970s by Debby Boone called You Light Up My Life. Why do you think that song was written?

Because love really does lighten people up. It helps us reduce stress and improve our well-being. Our outlook on life is always more positive that way too. [Read: Unconditional love – what it is and isn’t, 37 signs you’ve felt it, and steps to find it]

5. You definitely have someone around you who love you

Even if you don’t believe in love, that doesn’t mean that people don’t love you. They are also able and willing to commit to you. Love isn’t just about being in a romantic relationship, it exists between family and friends too.

6. Love helps you get a new perspective 

When you’re in love with someone, you eventually notice that they are not your carbon copy. They are a completely different person with different opinions and points of view in life. So, they can help broaden your thinking and look at life in a whole new way.

7. Love creates exciting memories

When you love someone, you spend a lot of time with them. And as a result, you can create some beautiful memories together.

Even if you go through hard times, they will always be by your side to help you get through them. And you will always remember that. [Read: Healthy relationship – 27 signs, qualities & what it looks like in real life]

8. Love creates happiness

Who doesn’t want to be happy? Everyone does, right? And love just makes everyone happier.

No one likes to feel like they are unloved and alone. So, when you’re in love, you will always be happy. And there is no better feeling than that.

9. Love helps you overcome fear

There are a lot of things to be fearful of in life, unfortunately. But when you stand alone in life, it can make you even more anxious. When you have a loving partner by your side, suddenly the world is a safer place than it would be if they weren’t there.

10. Love unveils the best version of yourself

When we are surrounded by love, we just feel better overall. And that also includes feeling better about ourselves.

When someone loves us, it reminds us of all our good qualities and that we are lovable. As a result, we become the best version of ourselves that we possibly can be. [Read: 28 Self-improvement secrets to improve yourself and transform into your best self]

11. The feeling of being the reason for someone else’s happiness is unparalleled

When you love someone, that means that they make you happy. And what better feeling is that in the whole world? Knowing that you are a huge contributor to someone’s overall happiness is something that everyone should be grateful for.

12. Love helps you overcome selfishness

True love means that you put your partner’s needs at least equal to – if not before – your own.

That’s because love makes us selfless. No longer are you only thinking about your own wants and needs. Theirs matters to you too because you want to make them happy. [Read: 20 Secrets to stop being selfish and ways to stop using and hurting others]

13. Together each achieves more

There is this saying that goes, “1 + 1 = 3”. In other words, when two or more people come together, then they can achieve more than they would be able to alone.

When you are in love, you become a team. And you always have a person you can depend on.

14. Love creates hope in us

When you are surrounded by love, it makes you more enthusiastic about life in general. And these positive feelings can lead you to have more hope about everything. You won’t be such a pessimist and will always look on the bright side.

15. Love helps you live in the present

When you love someone, you don’t live in the past. All the hurt that you experienced isn’t relevant anymore because it doesn’t affect you.

You’re not skeptical about the future either. Instead, you are focused on the present and enjoying the “now.” 

16. You are designed for love

Human beings survive on love. It’s just an instinct to love and be loved. Our early relationships, such as mother and child, only thrive because of the love between the two people. Love creates attachment bonds that can last a lifetime. [Read: What is true love? 58 signs and ways to tell if what you’re feeling is real]

Love exists within us all the time

Finding true love may be difficult, and it may be easier to just give up hope on ever finding love. But at the same time, we need to remember this:

Love is a natural emotion. It exists within all of us, just like the feeling of pain or hunger. You can suppress it, but you can’t ignore it.

By avoiding falling in love or giving up on ever finding a form of love, you’re actually stopping yourself from leading a normal and fulfilling life. You’re self-sabotaging.

People fall in love all the time, with movies, food, pets, friends, and so many more things. Love is within us all, whether we choose to believe in it or not.

And the happiest form of love you can ever experience is in the form of a romantic relationship with another person. From the very first moment, you feel like you’re sinking into a warm blanket. [Read: How to find your soulmate – 36 real ways to find your one true love]

A breakup shouldn’t end your belief in love

Love is an energy, a beautiful sensation that flows through us when we open our hearts to the world around us.

Each breakup could make you lose faith in love. But a bad relationship doesn’t mean the end of the world. [Read: How to heal from the pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back]

When you stop yourself from falling in love with someone, you’re preventing your natural instincts from choosing something that could make your life a lot more meaningful. Breakups hurt, true, but true love makes it all worth it.

Would you believe in love even after a series of bad relationships? You probably won’t, but as hard as it may feel, don’t give up on love. Instead, learn to introspect and understand why most of your relationships are going wrong.

Steps to finding true love when you’ve lost your belief in love

When love fails, don’t blame love for it. That’s an easy excuse to pretend like you had no part to play in the failure. Almost all the time, love fails only when the partners fail the compatibility test in love.

If you want to experience a beautiful romance and start believing in love again, keep these simple steps in mind. It’ll make the experience of love a lot better in no time.

1. Love should be effortless

You can’t force yourself to fall in love just as you can’t force someone else to fall in love with you. It has to come naturally. If you don’t feel it, you’re probably better in someone else’s arms.

2. Playing the chase

Love always starts with a bit of a tease and a chase, not just in humans but in several other species as well.

When both of you are past the chase and have fallen for each other, there shouldn’t be second thoughts about the relationship. If you’re not happy to be in a relationship, you need to get out. [Read: The right way to play the chasing game in love]

3. Don’t fall hard immediately

Wait for a few months before you progress from the courting game to falling in love. Even if you’re really happy spending hours together, don’t get exclusive until you’re certain you’re giving your heart to the right person.

4. Communicate

Talk about each other’s wants and needs all the time. Share interesting conversations that can help both of you understand each other completely. [Read: What is pillow talk and how can it improve your romance?]

5. Give second chances

The best of us make mistakes. Even if it hurts at times, be prepared to give a second chance if your partner hurts you, but never give a third or a fourth chance. 

A partner who repeatedly hurts you intentionally doesn’t love you, they’re only using you. [Read: Breakup to makeup – ways to give love a second chance]

6. Learn how to love yourself 

Actually, this is the first thing you need to do if you want to find love. You can’t give or receive what you don’t have within yourself, and that includes love. 

Don’t get down on yourself. Write down all of your good qualities and focus on those. Acknowledge that you are a good person and that you bring joy to other people’s lives.

7. Change your mental perceptions

If your thoughts are negative most of the time, you probably won’t attract love into your life. Love is a very high vibrational emotion.

So, in order to find love, you have to change how you think of the world, yourself, other people, and love itself. Once you change your perspective, then you can change your thoughts.

And this will change your actions which will make you more likely to find love. [Read: How to be more positive – 24 steps to a happy and dramatic life shift]

8. Resolve to love regardless of your past experience

Just because you were unlucky in love in the past doesn’t mean that you will be in the future. The past is the past, and it should be left there. Don’t let it negatively influence your hopes for the future.

Believe that anything is possible. Live in the present and remind yourself that tomorrow is another day that can be full of pleasant surprises. You never know when you’re going to turn a corner and find love there waiting for you.

9. You can commit to a daily affirmation that says “I believe in love”

If you are feeling down on love and aren’t sure if you believe in it anymore, then affirmations can help you get out of that mindset. Saying over and over to yourself, “I believe in love” will eventually convince you that you do.

Research has proven that affirmations are powerful and do change people’s lives as long as they commit to using them. You just have to reprogram your mind and subconscious that love actually exists and you will find it. [Read: What does it feel like to be in love? 33 must-know truths about being in love]

Take chances and experience a better romance

Open your heart to love, but be cautious about whom you let in. Work towards a relationship with all your heart, but walk away if you feel like you’re the only one making all the effort. 

A bad relationship doesn’t mean love doesn’t exist. It just means you haven’t found the right partner yet. Learn with each experience and look for love again. Soon enough, you’ll find the right partner who’d be perfect for you. [Read: 25 relationship rules to have a perfect romance]

The balance between believing in blissful love and giving up on love is a tug-of-war between happy relationships and unhappy ones.

Even if you don’t believe in love now, give love a chance after you learn your lessons from your past relationships.

[Read: How to love again after being hurt repeatedly]

So, do you believe in love? A perfect romance that’s full of happy love may be right around the corner, only if you believe in love and take that chance.