Why Men Ogle & the Best Ways to Get Rid of Your Man’s Wandering Eye

Does your partner have a wandering eye? There’s nothing more annoying or disrespectful. It’s time to turn his attention back toward you again!

A relationship constantly changes and evolves all the time. It starts with infatuation and several stages later, moves toward true love. But if your boyfriend has a wandering eye, you might start to question whether your relationship is ever really going to progress at all.

Not only is it disrespectful when your boyfriend is looking at other people, but it also makes you wonder whether you can trust this person at all. After all, do you look at other people? Probably not. [Read: The stages of love every relationship goes through]

What to know about your boyfriend’s wandering eye

First things first, what is a wandering eye? It’s when your man likes to look at other people and perhaps, in some cases, even reach out to them. It might be innocent in some cases, but it’s still enough to make you question where his loyalties lie.

When a man starts to get past the infatuation stage in love, that’s when you’ll start to see his real side, flaws and all. And sometimes, this transition may reveal his wandering eye!

When a guy blatantly ogles at girls even when his girl is with him, well, that makes him the infamous guy with the wandering eye who deserves a black eye!

What you need to remember about your boyfriend’s wandering eye is that the more you put up with it, the more he’ll take you for granted and continue to stare outrageously at other girls when you’re around! [Read: How men fall in love – the stages of love for men]

Why do his eyes wander so much?

In one simple line, your boyfriend’s eyes wander because he doesn’t respect you.

If your man truly respects you and values you, he’ll avoid ogling at other women because he’ll care about your feelings and be too scared to lose you.

So, if your boyfriend’s eyes wander often, it only means he doesn’t value you. He thinks you’ll never leave him no matter how he behaves around you – which should not be the case.

But you also need to remember that a man with a wandering eye will ogle at other women constantly even if he’s dating the most physically attractive woman on earth.

A wandering eye has little to do with your looks compared to other women. Instead, it’s all about your boyfriend’s lack of respect for you. [Read: 23 must-know relationship tips for women that can change your love life forever!]

Look at your relationship from the outside

Don’t be a doormat or a silly accommodating girlfriend who puts up with a man’s wandering eye. Ogling boyfriends won’t suddenly grow a conscience one morning and realize just how inconsiderate and rude they’ve been.

Are you dating a guy who constantly stares at other girls when you are on a date together? If you’ve been putting up with your boyfriend’s wandering eye, consider your situation from an outsider’s perspective.

If you were sitting at a coffee shop, and a guy on a date with a girl was staring at you or trying to catch your attention constantly, how would you feel? Creeped out? Would you feel sorry for the girl? Would you wonder why the girl is even dating a prick like that? What would you wish the girl would do, break up with the guy?

Sometimes, you may be clouded by the emotions you feel for your boyfriend. Think clearly, and ask yourself if your boyfriend’s behavior is even remotely acceptable. [Read: The dating girl code all girls definitely need to know!]

Stop the wandering eye or turn it loose to look elsewhere

There is no reason anyone deserves to be with someone disrespectful enough to look around. You don’t have to put up with it. There isn’t anything lacking in you, and you can’t let his wandering eye strip you of your self-esteem.

You are worthy of someone who has all eyes focused on the person they love most. If their gaze is that easily set off course, their heart probably is too.

The only way to deal with a wandering eye is either to confront, ignore, or get away from it. If it bothers you—don’t put up with it. You will find someone respectful enough not to look away.

We all tend to admire beautiful things that cross our paths, but we also all control it. If your boyfriend isn’t willing to, it speaks volumes about who he is and what you mean to him. [Read: Why is my boyfriend so mean? 19 reasons why your man is so rude]

1. Try explaining it hurts you

Sometimes people don’t even know they have a wandering eye. Habits run deep. It truly might not mean anything disrespectful. There is a good probability that he doesn’t even know he’s doing it.

Like when you see someone in a wheelchair, or an accident just happens, you don’t catch yourself gaping until it is too late and the damage is done.

Before you make assumptions about why he has a wandering eye, let him know it isn’t cool in your book. It makes you feel disrespected and see what he says. [Read: The telling signs you need relationship counseling]

2. Don’t let it hurt you

If you put it out there that you feel uncomfortable with his wandering eye and it continues, it doesn’t help to get mad about it. Once you make an issue out of something and he doesn’t care, then it becomes your Achilles heel.

Perhaps if you stopped noticing altogether and looked the other way, he’ll realize that it isn’t getting to you and stop. Maybe it is his way of gaining power over you, and if you just ignore it, it will stop.

If this tactic does work for you, it’s time to seriously address your relationship. Why would your boyfriend be trying to gain power over you or go out of his way to upset you? [Read: Narcissistic boyfriend – 28 signs & ways to deal with a narc guy or dump him]

Whether or not it does, getting upset about it and ruining a night isn’t helping anything. The only one’s behavior you can change is your own. Stop reacting to his wandering eye and see if that helps.

3. Be the one he wants to focus on

We are not trying to blame the victim at all. But, if you want the wandering eye to stop, it might take some engagement on your part. Is your relationship lacking in any area? It might be time to sit down with your boyfriend and communicate about both of your needs.

Constantly bitching about him looking at other people isn’t drawing him close to you. It might be the very thing driving him to look the other way. If you are something special to focus on, he will focus on you instead. [Read: How to drive your lover nuts with passion]

4. Help him with his social skills

All guys have the willpower to control their wandering eyes, just as long as they choose to *unless the guy is suffering from a health condition*.

But perhaps, in your boyfriend’s case, no one’s ever told him or helped him see the bad side of ogling at other random girls when he’s already with a girl. Maybe he’s just completely unaware of social skills or basic etiquette.

In that case, teach him! However, do so with caution. Don’t fall for weaponized incompetence. Once he has learned, he has no excuse to keep his eyes wandering.

5. If you love him, give him a few chances

Don’t be harsh on him if you catch him sneaking a glance at another girl for a fraction of a second.

It’s natural to be curious now and then when someone walks into a room, but if he stares at other girls like he’s stripping them naked in his mind even when you’re trying to get his attention, you definitely need to give him a nudge or kick his shin from under the table!

Talk to him about it, make it clear that you don’t like what he’s doing, and give him a chance. If nothing changes after a while, well, it’s time to reassess the relationship. [Read: Circumstances when your boyfriend’s interested in you for all the wrong reasons]

6. Give him a taste of his own medicine

If his wandering eye really harms your relationship and he isn’t willing to change, it is time to give him a taste of his own medicine. The next time some hot girl or guy walks past, make it super noticeable that you ogle them.

If he doesn’t even notice, take that as your sign he doesn’t intend to hurt you. He doesn’t see it as a bad thing. If he gets insecure and upset, he sees how it feels to be on the receiving end of a wandering eye.

7. People-watch together to help him feel less restricted

Sometimes, the fact that he’s dating you exclusively may make him a serial ogler. A guy may feel like he’s too restricted in the relationship because he can’t stare at other girls. The easiest way to deal with this is by encouraging him to casually people-watch with you.

While hanging out with him, point out different guys and girls walking past the both of you and gossip about them or their attire. When there are no restrictions on staring at other girls, the novelty of staring at them may wear off eventually too.

However, if you are still feeling insecure and undesirable, we don’t advise using this tactic as a last resort. Only partake in people-watching together if it is something you want. Don’t sacrifice your happiness for the relationship! [Read: 20 things that turn a guy on sexually when he sees a girl]

8. Walk away

If all else fails and it creates a huge rift in your relationship, it is time to draw a line in the sand and say enough is enough. If he can’t stop his wandering ways and it causes fights, makes you feel insecure, or just generally makes going out with him not fun, walk away. [Read: 15 signs it might be time to break up]

Is it too late already?

Some guys are creeps.

Sometimes, no matter what you say or how hard you try to convince your boyfriend that staring at other girls is disrespectful, hurts you, shatters your self-esteem, and makes you feel unattractive, he may not change. If you’re in this situation, it’s probably too late to do anything about it.

And when you reach this crossroad, you need to decide what matters more to you, your own happiness or your ogling boyfriend who’s damaging your life with each new date. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend]

You can give him a final ultimatum and tell him that you can’t put up with this behavior anymore. But it may be too little too late.

[Read: Big reasons why men want to cheat and 27 reasons why they actually cheat!]

So how are you dealing with your boyfriend’s wandering eye? Remember, soft words and ultimatums definitely help. But beyond a point, it all boils down to how much your man values and respects you, and how much you value and respect yourself!