INTJ Women: 27 Biggest Traits & Tips to Date an INTJ Girl & Win Her Over

Have your eyes on an INTJ woman? Learn what her traits say about her personality type and what sets her apart from other women.

If you’re dating one of the few INTJ women, you better roll up those sleeves because you’re in for some real relationship work – or just read up on these tips instead!

Women with the INTJ Myers-Briggs personality type have introverted, intuitive, thinking, and judging traits. They are rare individuals, as only 1% percent of women have this personality type. That is a small amount, even compared to their counterpart INTJ men who have 3%.

INTJs are highly successful and highly misunderstood women in society. Despite being confident and in control, they often come off as cold and uncaring. Not to mention, they are one of the rarest personality types. [Read: 24 ways to be a strong independent woman all men love and desire]

Yes, being rare has its pitfalls. For one, few people know how to interact with such a person, making them quite a difficult person to decode and relate to. INTJ women may be intimidating at first, but they are the backbone of our society.

So, read up on these behaviors and tips to see if you really have a rare INTJ gem in your hands and what you can expect from such women if you intend to have one for keeps.

Characteristics of INTJ women

All people are unique, but understanding the characteristics of any personality can help you achieve better relationships. So, here are some qualities of INTJ women.

1. Highly intellectual

These successful women pride themselves on their minds, and their intelligence. They take every opportunity to learn, broaden their knowledge, and therefore they are insatiably curious. You would see them debating, not for the sake of argument, but for learning more. [Read: 15 highs and lows of dating someone way smarter than you]

2. Private and reserved

INTJ women often like to keep to themselves. They keep their business private, and keep their emotions hidden. If you want to know what’s going on in the life of an INTJ woman, you’re going to have to prove to her you’re worthy of knowing!

3. Dresses to blend in

As we said, INTJ women are reserved. They don’t dress flashy or wear overly-complicated outfits. For the most part, these types of women wear functional and comfortable clothes that keep them blended in with the crowd.

4. Strategic

Being strategic, INTJs see things from many different perspectives. They also like to cover all angles. This is why when it comes to strategy, they are exceptional. [Read: Feisty girl – 30 sassy traits that make her dangerously amazing]

INTJs use their cerebral minds and creative imagination to foresee potentials in the future, and therefore, plan contingencies and predict possible scenarios.

5. Overly analytical

Because of the way their mind works, INTJ women are critical and analytical to the point of perfectionism. They look at a situation in so many ways that often they can forget that the answers are right under their noses!

6. High self-confidence

While they are confident, this can carry on too far to the point of complete arrogance. Therefore, INTJ women can appear pretty haughty to other people, which makes it hard for new acquaintances to warm up to them. [Read: Major tips for dating a girl who’s way out of your league]

7. Independent

This confidence, and the fact that they are highly capable, makes INTJ women impressively independent. If they have a better idea, they’ll stand up for it, despite conventions, traditions, or what other people may think.

8. Respect

Her friendships are about respect. Because she is usually misunderstood, she doesn’t have a lot of friends. The few she has are her ride-or-dies, and they are built off of mutual respect.

9. Blunt

INTJ women can be so honest that they can rub people the wrong way. Between being observant and borderline critical, they can really say things that not everyone wants to hear.

But you know what, they expect the same from others too. Don’t worry, you won’t hurt her feelings. Just be brave and speak your truth too. An INTJ woman can handle criticism!

10. Judgmental

They believe that their higher logic is correct, and therefore, those who don’t have a similar thought process are dismissed. They don’t care much for drama or theatrics, but they’re very much open to being proven wrong. [Read: How to impress a girl in under 7 seconds]

11. Decisive

They make up their own mind, and therefore, they will do what they set their mind to. More often than not, it’s difficult for them to be swayed into another direction – other than their rigid decision. It only happens if they value another person’s thought process, and then they might be convinced.

12. Determined

If something piques their curiosity, they go for it. They can be hugely dedicated, and they put lots of work into achieving their goal.

If problems arise, they are rather undaunted, as they are confident in their skills and intelligence to handle these bumps in the road.

13. Open-minded

INTJ women have an aversion to customs and traditions, so they tend to be liberal. Still, there’s nothing so absurd or impossible to INTJ women, as long as your ideas and suggestions are sensible and backed by logic. [Read: How to charm a girl and flatter her into liking you]

14. Frustrated by inefficiency

INTJ women are very frustrated by inefficiency. They want to work as fast as they can to ensure they’re being as productive as possible. Otherwise, they might become upset. This is part of why they are considered workaholics.

How to attract an INTJ woman

If you’re looking to make an INTJ woman swoon over you, our advice is don’t overdo it. INTJ women are critical and reserved. This doesn’t mean they inherently hate dating, but they don’t like grand gestures, and they certainly don’t like emotional games.

You should approach an INTJ woman with confidence and directness. These two traits are attractive to women with this personality trait because they are compatible with their own. Be direct with your flirting so she knows your true intentions. [Read: Fatal attraction – signs you only like emotionally distant women]

Best match for an INTJ woman

If you’re looking to be the best match for your INTJ woman, your traits need to complement hers. Yes, even her traits that seem extreme.

An INTJ woman cannot successfully thrive in a relationship with someone who does not understand her way of thinking. You don’t need to have the exact same style, but you need to understand the way her brain works.

You will need to know and respect her need for alone time, and when she is hyper-critical, and when her voice and words may not express the emotions she is truly feeling.

What you need to know about dating INTJ women

Now that you’ve figured that your girl really does have all the fittings of the real deal—one of the true and rare INTJ women—you now have to figure out how to deal with her complexity.

1. They think things through

Since INTJ women are highly cerebral, expect that they will thoroughly think things through before making a move. They are not known to be impulsive, so be prepared to wait for an answer from them.

Any decision would require them to analyze, strategize, and cover all angles and bases. But once they’re done, you can bet that they’re serious about it and will stick to their guns. [Read: Words of advice to date a fiercely independent woman]

2. They study people

More than just gossiping, INTJ women love to study people, and find out what makes them tick. Being in a relationship with one will feel like she’s constantly analyzing you, figuring you out. This brings us to our next point…

3. They know you better than you do

After being in a relationship for a while with an INTJ woman, you notice that she’s studied all there is to discover about you. She knows your drives, emotions, responses, and dispositions. In short, she has you figured you out, and knows you like the back of her hand!

4. They have to plan everything

As strategic as INTJs are, they may have already foreseen the best possible scenarios before agreeing to your date. Heck, she may have even memorized the menu at the restaurant you chose!

And if something goes awry to ruin your plans, you can be sure she won’t like it one bit. [Read: 15 signs you’re with a high maintenance woman]

5. They find mind games sexy

INTJ women get turned on by intellectual conversations. They find it sexy if you challenge their philosophies with your own. And often, they even like the mental “orgasms” of talking for hours compared to the down-to-earth sensations of something physical.

6. It’s hard to buy them gifts

INTJ women are picky, and so it’s hard to buy them gifts. They don’t like the usual chocolates and flowers, and things that they don’t really have any use for.

Your best bet? Either you find her something functional, something she can eat or drink *wine or a fancy dinner are safe choices* or just go ahead and ask her for a wish list.

7. They love their alone time

More than any other type, INTJ women need their alone time free from distractions and the company of other people. In fact, they’re more in their element when they’re alone. [Read: How to stay in love with a girl without smothering her]

8. They prefer it point-blank

And by this, we mean your opinions. Say it straight, and she will respect and appreciate you more for it, even if she doesn’t really agree with you. Therefore, throw aside your passive-aggressive tendencies if you really want to win her over.

9. They don’t rely on their emotions

While INTJ women have deep and powerful emotions just like any person, they don’t let it bubble over as often as most people do. They know full well that emotions can’t be trusted, and therefore, they don’t let these dictate their actions.

10. They may come off as cold

Since they are not driven by their emotions and whims, they may come off as cold, and even cold-hearted. Give her flowers? She’ll accept them, sure, but don’t expect an INTJ woman to fall head over heels for you after just a few romantic gestures. [Read: Dating game – type A vs. type B personalities]

11. But once they feel it…

Don’t get INTJs wrong, though. They are enormously passionate about things that matter to them most. Whether it is literature, politics, philosophy, or just their favorite television series: they have passion.

You’ll be lucky to see these rare bursts of emotion, and once you see them, it’s like watching fireworks — if not a supernova!

12. They’re hella loyal

Because of these strong emotions, INTJ women are highly invested in a relationship once they find the right person for them.

Even if they’re not masters at displaying love and affection, they display strong devotion and loyalty to their partners who are lucky to have them as mates. [Read: Dumbest mistakes that men often make in relationships]

13. They need closure

INTJ women absolutely abhor it when a relationship abruptly ends. So if you leave them with little warning, they would feel so disoriented because it’s like a piece of a puzzle has been lost. They would want to understand what happened and why and how things went wrong. Otherwise, they’ll find it so hard to move on.

There you go. Everything you need to know about INTJ women! So, if you’re dating an INTJ woman, be prepared to be blown away in ways you may have never experienced before.