What Do Women Want in a Man: 41 Traits that Make a Guy VERY Desirable

If you are wondering what women want in a man, then you are not alone – most guys can’t figure it out. If you want to know how to make women swoon, then read on!

A lot of guys are pretty confused about what women want in a man. They think that it’s not easy, or, in fact, that it’s borderline impossible to please or make a woman happy.

At least, that’s what many men who have been burned by love in the past think.

Pleasing a woman isn’t just about catering to her whims and serving to her every want. In reality, understanding what women want from men is all about realizing what it takes to be a good man and even better company. It really is that easy.

If you can understand what it takes to become a better man, you’ll find that that is all it takes to make a woman happy; a good man who cares enough to better himself.

But for starters, here is a list of simple things that can make your woman feel like she’s hit the jackpot with you.

What do women want in a man?

Well, if it was that easy, it wouldn’t be fun, right? Finding out what a woman really wants from a man is part of the chase, part of the adventure.

But you’re probably at that moment where you couldn’t give a shit about the chase, and you just want a straight-up answer.

The problem is every woman is different and has different needs. After all, no two women want the exact same thing. But we will still tell you the general characteristics that women are looking for.

It all comes down to simple things, really.

But it’s always the simple things that are the hardest, isn’t it, especially when you don’t realize just how important the little things are.

Use these pointers here, and your woman will feel more loved and happy than ever before.

1. A man who can respect her

This may seem easy to do, but do you really respect your wife or girlfriend? [Read: How to stop being rude to your partner and treat them with respect]

Some guys consider themselves to be know-it-alls and assume they’re better than their women in every way. If you think your woman is nothing but a piece of sexy arm candy, how can you ever respect her?

Respect has to be earned, yes, but unless you truly believe that your woman has some great qualities and is even better than you in some aspects, you can never ever respect her. Learn to respect the woman in your life, and she’ll love you and respect you a lot more too.

2. A man who can truly love her

You can gift your wife or girlfriend with pricy labels and luxury vacations, but that’s not really the definition of love [Read: The meaning of love]. True love is shared in small ways every single day. 

You don’t need to indulge in a public display of affection or cuddling every evening while watching television. But you need to let your woman know in small ways how much she means to you. [Read: How to better a relationship to know all about this]

When you’re truly in love with your woman, pleasing her and compromising with either of your needs come naturally. Do you care about your woman’s feelings? Are you excited to hear about her day when you get back home? 

Do you look forward to spending time with your woman after work, or do you get more excited to play games or watch the television? It’s the little things that really matter, and all these signs show.

3. A man who can protect her

Women, as independent as they may be, still love to be in the company of a man they can rely upon in an edgy situation. They want to feel protected and taken care of, no matter what the circumstance. [Read: Key differences – protective boyfriend or controlling boyfriend?]

Can you be that guy? Do you think your woman really trusts that you can handle almost any troubling situation you get into?

4. A man that she can look up to

Do you idolize or look up to anyone? All men have their own role models, whether it’s a freedom fighter, a business tycoon, an NFL player, or a bodybuilder. 

You idolize them because their great achievements inspire you to become a better man. If you truly want to know what women want in a man, be a man who can inspire people. [Read: 34 secrets to make someone like you and draw anyone in the first few minutes]

You don’t have to earn billions *would be great if you could* or win the Nobel Prize, but if you could make a difference in your own small ways, you could be that man.

Be a good speaker, a great conversationalist, a great pool player, or just about anything else that’s beneficial in your life. As long as your woman is impressed with you for your skills, she’ll brag about it and love you for it!

5. A man who is passionate

Women love a man who shows a lot of passion, not just in bed but in everything he believes in. Passionate men are inspiring and intriguing, and women love that. [Read: How to find your passion – 17 secrets to seek it in simple things]

You couldn’t care less about an explorer in the Amazonian jungles or Jack Sparrow on his escapades, but there’s something so sexy about these men. You don’t understand what it is that makes them so passionate, and this mystery only draws women to them. 

Be passionate about something meaningful, be it your entrepreneurial venture, your woodwork hobby, or your tryst with writing a book, and your woman will love you for the excitement and passion you bring into her life.

6. A man she can trust and depend on

A trustworthy man who is dependable is hard to come by, and that’s what makes these men so sought after. It’s not that regular men can’t be dependable or trustworthy; it’s just that they don’t care enough about anything to take things seriously. [Read: 20 characteristics of a good man that make him reliable and desirable]

What women want in a man is dependability. A dependable man won’t let his partner down, be it the grocery list or helping her fix her furniture *although a rare occasion is excusable*.

To be a dependable man, you don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be there for her and help her in her time of need.

If you don’t show up when you say you’re going to or make plans and then bail, well, here’s a good reason why you’re single. Women want a man who’s going to show up when they say they will and will be there when they need their man. 

On a deeper level, when it comes to looking for a serious life partner, this is in the top five qualities women look for. [Read: The truth behind what women really want in men]

7. A chivalrous man

Chivalry is old school, but it’s still something all women love and adore in a man. All men know what it takes to be a chivalrous man, but surprisingly, most men believe that being chivalrous is actually a sign of being meek and trying too hard to please a woman. 

But contrary to what most men think, being chivalrous is not a sign of weakness. Rather, it’s a sign of respect by either of the sexes. By being chivalrous, it shows that you respect your woman, and reciprocating your chivalry shows that the woman respects you. [Read: How to charm a girl]

This is why being a gentleman is important. If you don’t show respect to her, you’ll lose her. This doesn’t mean you have to pay for everything; that’s not what being a gentleman is about. It’s about respect. [Read: 15 ways to be a gentleman and keep her happy]

8. A man who can groom himself

Yeah, let’s hit the basics again. You want a stunning woman with curves like a coke bottle, a freak in bed, a great talker and a dirty talker, and whatnot! And seriously, what are you offering her in return, a Homer Simpson lookalike? Seriously?

So look, the world is fair as long as you play fair and focus on reality. What women want in a man is attractiveness. If you want to be with a woman who’s everything you ever wanted physically, you’ve got to do whatever you can to look good for her too. 

Hit the gym, go for an evening jog, or whatever works for you. Dress well, take care of your skin, and wear a good cologne. Taking care of your own appearance will go a long way to help you catch the eyes of attractive women.

9. A man who is ambitious

Ambitious guys could be laughed at, but when they make it big, they’re the sneering ones who can say, “who’s laughing now?!” [Read: How to be successful in life]

Being ambitious is easy, but unless you do something about it and work your way towards your ambition every single day, who’s going to care who you are? An ambitious guy isn’t a guy who thinks of great things, he’s a guy who does great things. 

Be this guy, and your woman, and all other women, will love you and want you. Everyone likes a guy who can think big and achieve it. If you can ever be this guy, you’re right on top of the gene pool, and of course, pal, you’re Mr. Irresistible!

10. A man who can dream

What women what in a man is a dreamer, be it a fantasizer in bed [Read: How to talk dirty in bed], a man who can envision his successful future, or a man who can tell magical stories while lazing on the hammock and watching the stars with his lover. 

Women love a man with an active imagination. Imagination is such a great companion at the end of a bad day or while spending a romantic moment together. It’s cheerful, happy, and such a burst of fresh air. 

Imaginative men create the best surprises, the most interesting conversations, and the happiest moments in life. Seriously, what woman won’t love this guy, and what man can avoid envying him? [Read: What do girls like in guys?]

11. Honesty – to a point

Okay, women do want a man who’s honest, however, to a point. When it comes to important topics, yes, of course, they want a man to be honest. However, if she asks you how she looks in a new dress and you don’t like it, do not say that she looks fat or ugly in it.

Lighten up on your honesty and go for a more neutral answer, one that won’t result in you being sent to the dog house. [Read: Times white lies are your savior in love]

12. Empathy and compassion 

If you’re not empathetic and have compassion for other people, you should probably see a therapist. Empathy essentially means that you’re understanding other people’s feelings. 

A woman wants to be with a man who understands her and her emotions. If not, how can you two be together? If you don’t understand her feelings, then she’s basically dating herself. [Read: Reasons why empathy is important in a relationship]

13. Self-love

This is huge. If you’re not self-aware and loving yourself, then how can you be in a relationship with anyone? This goes for both men and women. 

You cannot be in a relationship if you’re firstly not in love with yourself. Appreciating yourself is the first thing you need to do in order to find someone who appreciates you just as much.

14. Assertiveness

Generally speaking, if a woman dates a man who gets walked over by other people, those relationships don’t last long. Women don’t need their men to get into physical fights over everything, but women are looking for men that know when to voice their opinion and be assertive.

15. A man they connect with emotionally

The sex may be mind-blowing, but if there’s no emotional connection, then it doesn’t mean anything; it’s simply good sex. But having good sex isn’t hard to find. 

What’s hard to find is the emotional connection that comes with it. This is when the sex is just more than the physical, it’s lovemaking. [Read: Small ways to build emotional connection]

16. But also connect in bed

Bam! Yeah, women aren’t stupid. They need that sizzle under the sheets. If there’s no sexual chemistry, well, then it’s not going to go anywhere. 

Come on, even men look for this in women. Sex is an important factor in relationships, so there has to be a sexual connection.

17. Romance

Remember the first few weeks of love when you tried everything you could think of to impress your woman? It’s a little thought that’s almost always forgotten by men once they get into a serious relationship. [Read: How to romance a woman – 37 ways to woo the woman of your dreams]

Now, you don’t need to throw rose petals all over the bed and learn how to play the violin; that isn’t necessarily the definition of romance. 

Making her dinner, buying her flowers, going on a weekend road trip–these are all romantic gestures. Women want a man that is going to appreciate them and show them appreciation.

While the first flush of excited love may flicker out for men, it never does for women. Women like to be treated with love and affection.

Look for ways to brighten her day, and always remember those special days that matter. When you look for ways to make your woman smile, you’ll inevitably find yourself smiling a lot too. [Read: Traits of a chivalrous man]

18. A man who can carry a conversation 

It’s never fun for a woman to be on a date and feel like you’re pulling teeth to get him to speak. This shouldn’t be an issue.

If you aren’t a huge conversationalist, that’s okay, but at least try to talk. We’re not asking you to talk like a spin doctor, we just want you to make decent conversation.

19. A man who makes her feel comfortable

If she can’t walk around in front of you naked, eat pizza with her hands, or not shave her legs for a week, she’s not comfortable. 

Of course, you’ll have this period where she’s going to show you her best self, but eventually, she’ll want to relax and show you who she is. If she’s not comfortable, she’ll never let her wall down, and your relationship will never really go anywhere. [Read: How to talk to a shy girl – 21 ways to make her comfortable and open up]

20. Confidence

There’s literally nothing sexier than a man who is confident.

Listen, it’s really not important what brand you’re wearing or if you have the latest iPhone. That doesn’t mean anything. Confidence is from within and stems from self-respect. A man who is confident is wildly sexy.

21. A man who loves what he does

Women want to be with someone who takes pride in what they do and enjoys it. You don’t need to be rolling in cash or the CEO of a company. [Read: Tips to transform yourself from a nice guy to a real man]

Whatever it is, it’s irrelevant. What’s important is that you love what you do. Because at the end of the day, you’re going to be coming home to her, so if you’re not happy, it’ll affect the relationship. 

22. Can make her laugh

Who would want to be with someone that doesn’t make them laugh? Of course not! You want a partner that can make you laugh and vice versa. 

It’s more than just about sharing a laughing, it’s about connecting with another person. Laughter is a form of connection, and that’s what we want at the end of the day. [Read: What women find attractive: 16 traits girls instantly fall for]

23. Women like being envied

If you can make your girlfriend or wife feel better than the other women around her, she’ll be grateful and will fall more in love with you every day. All of us base our own relationships on the relationships we see all around us. 

If others cheat, we assume we have to cheat too. If other boyfriends treat their girlfriends better, we assume we have to do it too.

But instead of waiting for someone else to get the best boyfriend title, take the lead. Surprise your woman with flowers at her workplace, plan special dinners, and take off on little vacations. [Read: Envious friends – 18 signs of friendly envy and what makes them feel it]

Make your woman feel like she’s having the best relationship in the world, and you’ll be just the man she would love to be with forever, even if there’s a lot of competition in the air.

24. A man who can appreciate her

You may constantly look for ways to please your woman. But if she doesn’t acknowledge your gestures, wouldn’t you feel let down and annoyed? Women feel that too. 

Always appreciate your woman, even for the smallest of her gestures to please you. And remember, as much as the big things in love matter, it’s the little things that count. [Read: How to compliment a woman]

25. Be the man who makes her proud

Pride is a shallow trait, but it does have its benefits too. Women love a man who is successful in his own path. Are you proud of what you do every day? 

If you’re happy with your own life, your woman will be happy for you too. Be the man who is proud of his achievements, and your woman will definitely be proud of you. And when she’s proud of the person you are, she’ll only love you more.

26. A man who makes her feel lucky

Women want a man who can look good and dress well. Be the man your woman will be happy to show off to her friends and other guys who try to hit on her. [Read: How to make your girlfriend happy and feel like the luckiest girl ever]

When her friends envy her or comment on how charming you are, your woman can’t help but blush and realize how lucky she is to be with you.

27. A man who’s loved by her family and friends

When you date a woman long-term, her friends start to become your friends. And the same goes for family too. Do you make an effort to make her friends and family like you? 

Women want a man who can not only get along with their friends but someone who can help their friends have a great time when he’s around. [Read: Meeting the parents for the first time]

28. A guy who knows what he wants

Women like a man who has found a purpose in his life. If you’re wondering what women want from men in a relationship, you really need to think about your own focus in life. 

Do you see where you’re heading and what you wish to do a few years down the line? Be determined and ambitious, and your woman will share your dream and help you climb the mountains in your path.

29. Women want a good listener

The art of listening is one of the delicate strings that hold a relationship together. When you don’t listen to your partner, both of you may end up straying or confiding in someone else outside the relationship. 

Be a good listener and pay attention to what she feels and says. There always has to be good communication in any successful relationship. [Read: Are you an annoying boyfriend?]

30. Women love a guy who can get naughty

Look for ways to make her laugh now and then. It doesn’t matter if it’s a naughty bedroom trick or a witty, humorous prank. Women love seeing the fun side of a serious guy. It keeps the child in you alive, and it’ll definitely make her more excited to be with you.

31. A man who considers his woman an equal

Respect for each other is important in any relationship. Do you really respect your woman and think she’s just as capable as you? 

Both of you may not have the same qualities or talents, but as long as you respect your woman and truly understand that she’s just as good as you and may even be better than you in more ways than one, you’ll learn to admire her and take her seriously. And women want that in a man they’re going to share their life with. [Read: How to be a good boyfriend]

32. Intelligence

As we said earlier, women like to have good conversations. And in order to do this well, it takes a bit of intelligence. 

They like it when their man is smart and can figure things out on his own or is well-educated. Now, you don’t have to be Albert Einstein to impress a woman, but it helps if you have some original thoughts of your own.

33. Good health

Would you like it if your girlfriend or wife let themselves go and gained 100 pounds by eating junk food all the time? Of course, you wouldn’t.

Women want you to take care of yourself, look good, and be healthy. If you’re not, then it just isn’t all that attractive. [Read: Benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and libido]

34. Desire for a home and/or children

Depending on several factors, such as her age or her desire for children, most women want a man who wants to make a home with them. This can include having children of their own or blending their families.

Or, if she doesn’t want children, she wants a man who feels the same. But that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t want marriage someday.

35. Ability to admit his mistakes

No one likes it when someone plays the victim. So, if you blame other people or circumstances for your mistakes, that is off-putting. It takes a real man to be able to take personal responsibility for his actions. And it’s not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of strength.

How do I find out what women want in a man? 

After reading this list, you might feel a little defeated because it was so long. How is it even possible to become all of these things? Well, you can’t be all of them. So, the best thing to do is to do these three things so you can get it right. [Read: 41 qualities of a good man that sets him apart from lesser men]

1. Ask the right questions

Not every woman likes the same things. For example, one woman might love having doors opened for her. But another one might find it insulting.

So, ask your woman questions about herself and what she likes. That way, you can try to choose some things from this list that you think would please her the most.

2. Investigate which drives, needs, and motivations she values the most

While you’re asking her questions, you should try to figure out what she values the most in a man – and in herself. Does she value career, family, health, or something else? Once you know these things, you can turn your attention to focus on what she thinks are the top priorities in her life.

3. Avoid stereotyping and acknowledge the individuality of women

Remember, not all women are the same. So, don’t stereotype them because you will probably get it wrong. For example, not all women want to get married and have babies.

Some don’t believe in marriage and have no desire to be a mother. Get to know a woman for who she is as a unique individual. [Read: Girly stuff stereotypes – 15 typical things not all girls like]

How to be what women want

Now that you know all things that women want in a man, you are probably wondering how to become that man. It might seem like an impossibility, but it’s not. Here are a few guidelines:

1. Don’t try too hard

You might be an overachiever by nature, but don’t go overboard trying too hard to impress a woman. When you do that, she’ll be able to sense it, and it makes you look like you are desperate. So, don’t go over the top with trying to become the perfect man. You still need to be yourself too.

2. Let it be a process

No one can make big changes overnight. So, if you’re the type of guy who is overweight and doesn’t take care of himself very well, it will take you time to get yourself into shape.

It also might take you some time to learn to be a gentleman or a good listener. But keep at it, and then it will become second nature to you. [Read: How to improve yourself – 16 powerful secrets of self-improvement]

3. Don’t break hearts

If you noticed, nowhere on this list did it say to be a bad boy or a jerk. So, you don’t want to be the kind of guy who attracts a girl and then drops her without considering her feelings. Be kind and remember the Golden Rule – treat others the way you would want to be treated.

[Read: Traits women want in a man]

So, what do women want from men in a relationship? Use these pointers for starters, and you’ll definitely be able to make a great impression and keep her ecstatic in love at the same time.