25 Sad Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore & Is Just Messing with You

If you’re getting a vibe something isn’t right in your relationship, look for the signs he doesn’t love you. Better to know than to prolong the heartache. 

You know you are worthy of powerful and unconditional love, don’t you? You deserve to feel like a princess, not a damsel in distress. If you are reading this feature, you are probably in a relationship you question and doubt. We want more than that for you, which is why we want to help you understand the signs he doesn’t love you back.

Usually our friends and family notice way before we ever begin to. When you are in love, your heart plays tricks on you. We all want to find love and in our quest, we typically create relationships that aren’t a reality.

The qualities that you see in your partner may not actually be traits that he has. We create perfection out of nothing when we crave affection. And, as heartbreaking as the realization may be, it’s far better than wasting your time. [Read: The pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back]

Why you need to find out sooner rather than later

It’s going to be hard and it’s going to hurt. But, isn’t it better to know? You might be happy living in denial right now, hoping beyond hope, but you’re wasting your own time. Instead of chasing a guy that can’t see how wonderful you are, you could be with someone who adores you just for being you.

That’s exactly what you deserve. You can’t have that until you face the painful truth that your boyfriend doesn’t love you in the same way you love him.

Now, this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you in his own way, but is that way enough for you? Some guys just aren’t ready for a relationship or commitment. The biggest mistake you can make is to sit around waiting for him to be ready, or thinking that you can change his mind. [Read: How to move on and deal with a break up with a smile]

You can’t. It’s not your issue or anything wrong with you, it’s his issue that he needs to face for himself.

Don’t break your own heart hanging around, waiting for a guy who can’t see how amazing you are. Instead, do the right thing, leave him, focus on yourself, and build up your confidence. Then, an amazing guy will come along who doesn’t need to be convinced of your worth. [Read: How to stop loving someone and read the signs it’s time to walk away]

The subtle signs he doesn’t love you that you can’t ignore

Know that you deserve more than what you have now. You deserve respect and love. But first, learn to recognize when he isn’t interested in you. You need to understand when it is time to walk away. It’s going to sting, but you can do it.

1. He doesn’t listen to you when you talk about your day

C’mon girlfriend, isn’t it obvious? If you get home from work and want to talk about your day, does he even care? Is he listening to you talk or is he staring blankly at you and pretending to listen?

A good way to tell is if he actually engages with your story and asks relevant questions. [Read: 16 signs he’s slowly starting to lose interest in you]

2. He often forgets important events

We don’t even mean birthdays or anniversaries, we’re talking about the other important things going on. If you have a big meeting at work and he forgets that it ever occurred, he’s clearly not concerned about the big events in your life.

For sure, some guys forget the odd event and that’s fine. But if it’s a recurring thing, it’s a huge red flag.

3. He’s evasive when talking about the future

If you talk to him about the future, like children, marriage, and living arrangements, and he shuts down, this is one of those big, subconscious signs he doesn’t love you. If he loved you, he would know whether or not he sees children in your future, or if he wants to get married.

For sure, don’t expect him to have these conversations if you’re very early in your relationship. But if it’s been a while, there should be at least some conversation about the future. [Read: 20 signs he sees a real future with you]

4. He doesn’t make an effort to talk to you when you’re apart

Life separates couples for short periods of time. In that case, we communicate via technology. We text, call, Facetime, or Skype each other to stay in touch.

This is your only form of communication while apart, so if he doesn’t seem to care to chat with you, then he likely doesn’t love you. [Read: How to make him worry he’s losing you]

5. He doesn’t understand your job, and doesn’t try to

Some of us have confusing professions that the general public may not understand. We’ve all gotten the question “So, what do you do for a living?” But, if he doesn’t know what you do for a living, then he doesn’t care.

If he doesn’t care about you, then he doesn’t love you.

6. He puts you down

Relationships are about loving each other unconditionally, despite our flaws. Actually, because of our flaws. If he makes fun of you about anything, especially in a manner that puts you down, he doesn’t love you. [Read: 15 Types of toxic relationships to watch out for]

7. He constantly picks fights with you over small things

You’ve got to pick your battles, guys. Some things really aren’t worth fighting over. You need to value your relationship more than winning an argument, and so does he.

8. When you fight, he doesn’t fight fair

Fights are inevitable in any relationship. Sometimes we need to get through a fight in order to grow our relationship, but that doesn’t mean it has to get nasty.

When you fight with your partner, name-calling should never be a tool used. If he loves you, he loves you through everything, even fights. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]

9. He doesn’t put in the effort

Love doesn’t just happen, people! You have to work for it, and sometimes it gets rough. If he doesn’t try, then he doesn’t love you.

10. He often threatens to leave

If he loves you, he would never threaten to leave. You don’t threaten your presence in somebody’s life as a way of getting what you want. If he loves you, he will be there through thick and thin. [Read: 17 toxic double standards in relationships]

11. He never apologizes when he’s wrong

If his pride is more important than your relationship, maybe you need to hit the road, sister. Apologies are difficult, we get it. But they need to be done.

Accepting that you are in the wrong, when in fact you are, is a huge sign that he loves you and values your relationship. If not, then he really doesn’t love you. [Read: 15 signs of a toxic relationship that’ll go from bad to worse]

12. He keeps your relationship a secret, or very well hidden

Really? We’re living in a world where we splash everything on social media. If you are in a relationship, everyone and their mother knows about it because there is at least one photo of you together on social media.

Even if you aren’t super active on social media, there is going to be something somewhere—even if it is just a subtweet. If he keeps your relationship a secret, on social media and in real life, then it’s one of those big red flag signs he doesn’t love you.

13. He doesn’t support your dreams and goals

What he wants in life is important, but so is what you want. If you seem to give all of your support to him and receive none in return, this is a sign he doesn’t love you. [Read: All the signs your partner is truly supportive of your goals]

14. You haven’t met his family

If you’ve been together for a reasonable amount of time, you should have met his family. Basically, if he isn’t telling people about you and wants them to meet you, that’s not a good sign.

Of course, if you’ve not been together that long, don’t expect to be a regular in the family home, but it should happen at some point if he’s serious.

15. You haven’t met his friends

This might be even more important than meeting his family. His family has to like you, because you might be family one day. His friends, though? They have the right to be totally and brutally honest about who you are.

If he doesn’t introduce you to his friends, you may need to re-evaluate this relationship. [Read: How to accept your BF’s friends & get them to accept you]

16. He eyes don’t scream, “I love you”

Look him in the eyes. It is the best sign to tell if he loves you. There is a fire in the eyes of someone looking at the person they love—always.

17. He doesn’t show signs of physical affection

A girl needs a little smooch every now and again, right? If he doesn’t give you spontaneous hugs, hold your hand, or give you kisses goodnight, then he might not be that into you.

18. He jokes about your passions

Your passions literally make you who you are. If he doesn’t respect your passions, then he doesn’t respect you. Plain and simple.

He should be showing an interest in them, even if he doesn’t quite share your view. [Read: 13 signs of a disrespectful partner that must not be overlooked]

19. You are not a priority to him

If he puts other things above you, like his friends, video games, material things, etc, then he doesn’t love you. You deserve to be treated like a priority, because you really are.

20. He blatantly checks out other women in front of you

Some men would beg to differ, stating that it’s in a man’s nature to look at an attractive woman! *really?!*

However, if he’s excessive with it, to the point that he has eye-sex with female passersby in front of you, then he may be showing a lack of interest, and a definite lack of respect. [Read: 10 guys to stop dating if you want real love]

21. He no longer calls or responds to your texts

He used to call you during all of your lunch breaks, after work, even if you lived with him. Now he never calls you, or maybe he only texts you in response to something you sent him.

This one’s hard to call, because some guys are kings of one word answers. But, if he responds to a cute text with one word or no words at all, he may be losing interest. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy could be ignoring you]

22. He’s not interested in sex anymore

Maybe he used to ask if you came, and now he’s become quickie Ricky, and you pretty much feel like a toy in bed. He doesn’t ask if it’s good for you, and generally doesn’t look like he cares.

He’ll be extremely selfish in bed, and may even stop having sex with you in general, but still asks for favors. Either he’s getting his horny fix somewhere else, or it’s one of the signs he doesn’t love you anymore. [Read: 9 big issues on a man’s mind when he’s having sex]

23. He asks for space

Men usually ask for more space when they want to see or sleep with other women, point blank. We know it sounds brutal, but it’s usually the case. He might already have found that woman or women, and is seeing them behind your back.

Unless you’ve recently had a blow-out fight or you’ve done something that he saw as a deal breaker, such as being too clingy or nagging too much, there’s really no other explanation for him wanting more space all of a sudden. [Read: The subtle hints your guy will give if he wants more space]

24. He avoids talking about the relationship

If you used to talk for hours about your relationship or you used to be lovey-dovey, and now he can’t bear to withstand a mushy convo about the relationship, that’s a warning sign.

Men who are no longer in love with you will avoid conversations about the relationship and your feelings at all costs. This is how they avoid feeling guilty for their lack of feelings towards you.

25. He no longer compliments you

If he no longer comments on your appearance, especially when you change your hair or get your nails done, he could be losing feelings. This is especially true if he’s suddenly becoming negative about your appearance, or comparing you to other women.

It could be things like “why did you go short again?” or “I told you I hate that dress,” that could show his level of attraction might be waning. If he points out women in public or on TV that have something that you don’t, he’s really not someone worth sticking around for. [Read: 10 sneaky signs you’re about to get dumped]

If he doesn’t love you, don’t waste a second more of your time

If your guy is displaying any of these characteristics, it could be that he’s no longer in love with you. While this may happen for a variety of reasons, what it really means is that you need to reevaluate your place in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t value you.

Guys might stick with a girl out of feelings of obligation, because your families are close, or maybe because he gets some sort of benefit from being with you. But do you want to be the girl whose boyfriend isn’t with you because he really wants to be?

Don’t sell yourself short, and realize it could be time to move on and find someone who truly appreciates all of the qualities that he’s taking for granted.

If he truly doesn’t love you and is too cowardly to admit it, it’s best if you cut your losses and take the plunge first. You deserve to have a great relationship with someone who values you as much as you value them.

[Read: The telltale signs your relationship is doomed]

If you see these signs he doesn’t love you in your relationship, remember that every moment spent with someone who overlooks your worth, is a moment that could be spent with someone who will love and cherish you.