One Month Anniversary: Things To Know After the First 30 Days of Dating

You’ve been dating for a month and now you’re wondering what it really means. Your one month anniversary means you still need to move slowly.  

Happy one month anniversary! We hope the last 30 days have been as amazing as this day makes it seem.

Dating might be fun, but it’s also hella confusing! What’s happening when you’ve been dating for a month? Are you exclusive? Is there someone else in the picture too? What does all of this mean? Can you even celebrate your one month anniversary?

Oh, the questions!

There is a reason why that initial period of dating is often peppered with moments of no sleep, not wanting to eat, and analyzing text messages like you belong in a detective movie! [Read: 25 infatuation symptoms and how to guess how long it’ll last for you]

The problem is, if you jump too soon and make things too serious too quickly, you run the risk of ruining a potentially good thing before it even gets off the ground.

At the same time, you don’t really know what the other person is thinking your dating situation is, and if you don’t have a conversation about it, albeit lighthearted, you might be totally confusing each other without reason.

Can you see the difficulty here? [Read: How to get over dating anxiety – Face your fear and get back out there]

Relationships have phases you have to go through

The honeymoon period of a relationship is talked about a lot – that first six months to a year when romance is blossoming at its fullest. And you are right in the midst of it. You can’t keep your hands off each other, and you probably haven’t even fought yet.

Not to kill the vibe, but after this exciting time, there is a cool-down period. At this point, a couple may change their approach to one another, leading to disappointment, relationship strife, and possibly even separation.

Some people say this is when your true color shines through. You’ve stopped being on your best behavior and the real nitty-gritty parts of your personalities come out to play.

However, it’s not just the honeymoon period that sets up a period of potential cooling down. There is a period when first dating, perhaps for the first month, when each half of the dating couple is quite guarded about how they present themselves and their lives.

So, when can you call yourselves the real deal? At what point does a dating situation turn into a relationship?

It’s a personal situation that varies from couple to couple, but if you’ve been dating for a month? Wait a while and let things breathe. [Read: 13 new relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]

What it means when you’ve been dating for a month 

Everyone assumes relationships and dating mean different things. Your timeline might not be the same as your beau’s, and if you rush them, you might push them away. On the other hand, why should you sit around waiting, scared to ask a very normal question? [Read: Dating vs. relationship – How to know your true status]

The problem with trying to put a label on something when you’ve only been dating for a month is that you’re still getting to know each other.

It’s impossible to really know someone that well after just one month of being in each other’s lives. When we meet someone, we’re often on our best behavior for a while. That period can often extend into a few months!

If you rush it and want a label on what this new thing is, you run the risk of ruining it before it even starts. [Read: DTR Talk – How many dates before it becomes official?]

Rather than sitting down and having ‘the conversation’ after dating for a month, why not look for signs instead? Play detective, try and work it out, and let time pass a little before making things solid and official. [Read: How fast is too fast in a relationship? Your guide to perfect timings]

The most important things you’ve learned by your one month anniversary

Below are some of the most common things people in relationships learn about their significant other by their one month anniversary, whether it’s traits that they adore or reasons to abandon ship.

1. They’re far from perfect

A lot of image management goes on before your one month anniversary. Everyone wants to present themselves in the best possible light. They try to avoid letting any negative traits slip through.

However, once they start to relax, the real person becomes more apparent, and the realization may dawn that they aren’t quite the image of perfection you previously thought. [Read: What is a toxic relationship? 53 signs to recognize love that hurts you]

It could be something as insignificant as a bad personal habit, like poor table manners, or a penchant for biting their nails. It could be far more serious, such as overtly bigoted tendencies or a complete lack of regard for hygiene.

Either way, their legend has–in your eyes, at least–been diminished.

2. Their friends are your friends

You might be very choosy about who you usually consider being friends with. Still, once the two of you get a little more comfortable together, you will start to encounter each other’s circle of acquaintances.

This could be a good thing if they are good people. However, there are always those few idiots that your potential lifemate has chosen to take under their wing. And guess what? There’s nothing you can do about it, as you quickly realize that their friends are now your friends, too. [Read: How to get your partner’s friends to like you]

3. They aren’t your type

You normally have a particular type, but it swiftly becomes apparent that they have managed their image to the point where there was no hint of the true them. That person you thought they were, quite simply, doesn’t exist. Your choice is to either give it a go and see if you can broaden your tastes or jump ship while you still can.

The first, second, and even third dates can give you an impression of someone you’re excited about. But by the time you hit the one month anniversary, you may realize everything you saw was a ruse.[Read: 5 most important signs of relationship compatibility]

4. They might NOT be the one

It’s easy to get carried away with your romantic inclinations during the first few weeks of dating. The immediate feelings of excitement can even convince you that they are the one.

It doesn’t take long, though, for that impression to wear off, and, at around the one-month mark, you start to realize that they are actually just human.

Whether that encourages you to ditch them or not is entirely down to your way of doing things. Do you want to keep having fun? Maybe you think they’ll grow on you.

It really comes down to whether you believe in romantic miracles or you’re the kind that perhaps prefers a bit of common sense and you’re willing to give them a try. [Read: Is he the one? How to know if he’s the one who’s perfect for you]

5. You might not be ready

This person you’ve met really does float your boat. They look great, dress great, hold conversations on any subject, but still like to have fun. You admire personal aspirations and goals. Yet, no matter how perfect they are, there is just something off.

You can’t put your finger on it, but you know it isn’t right.

If you realize that you’d rather be out and about, partying with friends and leading a singleton’s lifestyle, maybe you should do them a courtesy and just let them go rather than lead them on. [Read: 32 signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship]

6. The sex needs some work

The first time you have sex with a new partner may not be all fireworks and moaning. It can actually be awkward. But once you have a few rolls between the bedsheets down and things still aren’t better, something needs to change.

At your one month anniversary, you shouldn’t be faking it. This is the time when sex is super exciting, and you’re learning a lot about each other’s bodies. If it is boring or unpleasant at this point, you either need an open dialogue or a way out. [Read: How to talk about sex without it getting awkward]

7. The family are not fans

You may not meet the parents this early on in a relationship, but if you have, you can tell if they like you or not. You may experience a certain amount of distrust and suspicion on their part. This is often the case in the early days, but there’s plenty of time to win them over.

Realizing that your partner’s parents aren’t particularly keen on you is no reason to run; if they’re worth it, you’ll make an effort. [Read: 18 signs it’s time and ways to prepare your partner to meet the parents]

8. You have very different tastes

Maybe one of you is an adventurous eater of foreign delicacies, whereas the other prefers simple, home-cooked food. Perhaps you go to the cinema to watch an action movie, and the other is more about comedies.

Whatever the subject, you realize that several *or many* of your tastes are entirely different. Now, opposites do attract, and different tastes shouldn’t tear you apart. So, try not to let this realization put you off. [Read: Do couples always have to like the same things?]

9. You’re still attracted to other people

This is quite hard to accept if you’ve convinced yourself that you’ve started dating your perfect person. But there can be no denying the fact–you still find that other people can quite easily catch your eye.

This is only natural, and anyone who denies this particular realization probably isn’t telling the whole truth. [Read: In a relationship but sexually attracted to others? Why this happens]

10. You’re in it for the wrong reasons

Sometimes, we hide the truth from ourselves, for whatever reason that may be. A prime example would be the case of starting a relationship on the rebound. At first, you may think that you’re in it for all the right reasons, but after those first few weeks, you slowly realize the truth–and this is a foundation that needs to be addressed.

Maybe you’ve been single for a while and have met someone you like and who likes you back, but you realized you’ve been dating them to fight loneliness, not because you’re really invested. Now is the time to cut things off before you get in even deeper than a one month anniversary. [Read: 9 reasons you’re still with the wrong partner]

11. Your nerves aren’t budging

Those nerves you get before the first few dates can be exciting, but it can be a real pain if they don’t go away. You want to get comfortable with the person you’re dating, but having butterflies, sweaty palms, and dry mouth isn’t cute.

Try to think about why this might be the case. Do you really like them that much, or does something feel off?

12. You complain about them

By the time you’ve been together a few weeks, you have probably spoken to your friends about the person you’re seeing. You’ve told them how the dates have gone, if they’re a good kisser and where you see things going.

But, if you have spent most of your time with friends complaining about how the person you’re seeing doesn’t text back, cancels plans, or is controlling, that’s a major sign that your one month anniversary will be your last. [Read: The subtle clues you should leave the relationship]

13. You’re happy

Sure, things can always change, but you know if this person is making you happy after a month together. Do you look forward to spending time with them? Or do you sigh a big breath of relief when you head home after a date?

After your one month anniversary, you shouldn’t have too many questions about this.

14. You know what you want

Do you want to keep dating? Do you want things to be more serious? Are you ready for a commitment? By the time you hit the one-month mark, you might have the answers to these questions.

Now is the time to talk to your partner and see where they stand. [Read: Learn how to take control of your love life]

15. You are excited to celebrate your one month anniversary

It is your one month anniversary. You are either indifferent, annoyed, or happy. If you are glad you made it a month and feel excited for the next one, that is amazing. But, if you are surprised you made it this long, it may be time to cut your losses.

Why dating for a month doesn’t mean too much… yet

We don’t want to burst your bubble here. The fact that you’ve had a new person in your life for a month is a good sign, for sure. BUT it isn’t an official sign of anything solid, at least not yet.

You’re still trying to get to know this new person, and you’re encountering new situations together. As a result, you can see how they react to different problems, and it could shed some serious light on whether they’re right for you or not. On the flip-side, they’re still trying to get to know you too.

Be honest. Are you on your own best behavior at this point, or are you really letting them see you as you are, warts and all? You’re probably still trying to impress them at this point. In all honesty, they don’t really know you that well either. [Read: Honeymoon phase – How to calculate how long it’ll last for you both]

The only thing that can mean anything in relationships is time. When time passes and you’re still together, you’re making progress and you’re really getting to know that person, for their good and bad points.

That’s why when you’ve been dating for a month, sure it’s exciting and it’s wonderful, but as we said before, you should wait before putting labels on things and getting too excited. A month is a very short amount of time. You might have been on vacation for a month before, but that doesn’t mean you were about to up sticks and move to that place! [Read: New relationship advice all new couples must know]

This person might still be in your life in several months’ time, and let’s hope they are. They might also ebb away and disappear, creating part of your history. Either way, you had great times together, and that’s something you should hang on to.

Take things as they come. Don’t rush, don’t have conversations about what things are. Don’t try and label it. Enjoy it, get to know each other, make memories and cherish every second of this honeymoon period.

At this stage, there isn’t much bad going down. You don’t know their downsides yet, so you can enjoy all the positives instead! Trust us, everyone has a downside. We all have to deal with problems in relationships, when you’ve been dating for a month, none of that exists yet. [Read: The stages of a new and budding romance that define your relationship]

How can you know if you’re the only one?

At this point, you can’t.

At this point, you might still be friends with benefits. The person you’re seeing might be dating other people. Hell, you might be dating other people!

It’s not possible to know this situation unless you talk about it, but if you talk about it, you run the risk of rushing things too quickly. [Read: How to ask your date if they’re seeing others minus the awkwardness]

Here’s our advice. If exclusiveness from the start is important to you, make that clear. However, you can date exclusively and still keep things light and casual. There is nothing heavy going on at this point, and there doesn’t have to be any rush toward any of that happening.

Go with the flow. Seriously, this is the fun part! It might be confusing, you might be desperate for clarity, but in a few years, when you look back, you’ll kick yourself for missing all the fun stuff.

It might work out, it might not, but whatever happens, have fun finding out!

[Read: How to navigate the early stages of dating like a pro]

You may experience several realizations about your new partner after the one month anniversary rears its head. But, things can always change if they weren’t what you thought they’d be. Even the best relationships require hard work.