25 Signs to Stop Pursuing a Girl When She’s Using You Or Isn’t Into You

You really like this girl, but you fear that she might be leading you on. So how do you know when to back off and stop pursuing a girl? Use these signs!

Contrary to modern and popular belief, pursuing a woman hasn’t changed much since the Stone Age. The majority of women – those who are a bit shy and reluctant to make the first move – still want men to pursue them with varying degrees of traditionalism. But you do need to know when to stop pursuing a girl.

Knowing when to stop pursuing a girl

The problem with dating these days is that there are so many rituals that people have to go through before they can establish that they are in a relationship.

You may think that you and that girl are technically an item, but she might not be on the same page.

Just because you made the effort to pursue a girl does not mean that you’ve got the relationship in the bag. Sometimes, a girl can’t make up her mind or is just too nice to tell you point-blank that she has no intention of going out with you anymore. [Read: 22 reasons why she suddenly lost interest in you and what you can learn from it now]

Why should you stop pursuing a girl?

Before you decide to use these signs as a guide to cut all ties with the girl you like, you have to look from her perspective first.

Why wouldn’t she want to date you if you were an amazing guy? A single feature wouldn’t be enough to enumerate those issues, but here are some of the most common reasons why a girl is uninterested in you. [Read: 25 of the biggest dating deal breakers for women]

1. You’re not her type

Sorry. That’s the truth. Just because you’re rich, nice, and have an amazing body – wait, why doesn’t she like you again? All kidding aside, every person has a typical preference for the person they want to be with.

It is usually attributed to the environment that they were brought up in or exposed to. Some prefer a specific race, body type, height, or even a certain level of intellect. If she’s hard to please and you don’t pass her standards, pursuing her is a moot point.

2. You’re a rebound

Not everyone is comfortable with starting a relationship if they’re still attached to remnants of the past. The reason why they aren’t willing to go through with dating you could be because they are still not over The Ex. [Read: 14 subtle signs the girl you like isn’t over her ex yet!]

3. She’s just playing with you

Sadly, this is true for some women. The insecurities and baggage that they possess can cause collateral damage in the form of impressionable young men who just want to find a woman to settle with.

A girl might string you along just for the fun of it or just because they are bored. The worst-case scenario would be that they have a boyfriend who’s not too fond of her suitors. [Read: Is a girl with a boyfriend flirting with you?]

4. She’s too nice to say no

Girls with this type of mindset should probably realize that it’s more damaging to prolong the agony of the rejection instead of just telling a guy to move on.

They will allow you to court them but will make no promises for plausible deniability’s sake. This means that they’re probably not that nice if they can make you work for something that you won’t even get. [Read: 20 signs she’s just leading you on and taking you nowhere]

5. When she says no

Stop with all the No-Means-Yes nonsense. If a girl is trying to lure you in with reverse psychology by telling you that she’s not interested, respect her verbally expressed answer.

This is the reason why so many women feel harassed because their suitors think that they are just playing hard to get.

If a woman wants to play mind games with you, call her bluff. She’ll probably end up pursuing you once you stop calling her.

The subtle signs you should stop pursuing a girl you like

Some men find it hard to distinguish between a girl who is not interested and a girl who is just playing hard to get. She may or may not like you, but you will never know unless you really open your eyes.

Use these signs to know when you should back away and stop pursuing her for good. [Read: 26 subtle, flirty cues a girl gives away when she wants you to make a move]

1. She replies to texts, DMs, and emails with closed answers

Do not mistake this for the popular passive-aggressive “K” which means, “Keep talking because I need to feel that you’re giving me attention.” If they’re not interested, they will do everything they can to stop the conversation in its tracks.

2. She’s always busy

You should respect a person’s priorities, especially if you are not in a relationship. If a lot is going on in a girl’s life, then she probably isn’t ready to date yet.

A woman who really likes you will voluntarily shift some things on her calendar to have brunch or dinner with you.

3. She only says “Yes” to dates that have the best freebies

So, you have front row tickets to a Taylor Swift concert? That guarantees you a date in three months or so when she arrives in town.

A picnic at the park, on the other hand, isn’t as impressive to this type of girl. Know the difference between sincerity and freeloading when it comes to knowing when to stop pursuing a girl.

4. She has a lot of hang-ups

Don’t we all? But this girl has so many hang-ups that you can’t even set foot within a three-foot radius of her without offending her.

She is probably setting up a torrent of defense mechanisms just to keep you away rather than rejecting you altogether.

5. She agrees to a date, but cancels at the last minute

You may notice that “something” always “comes up” before your date. Now, it’s understandable if the girl is absolutely unlucky when it comes to scheduling engagements. However, if this has happened more than twice, get a clue. She’s not into you – so stop pursuing the girl.

6. She’s always on her phone when you’re together

This is the age of smartphones. People are ALWAYS on their phones. The same should not be applied when you’re on a date.

The reason why she’s so interested in her phone when she’s with you is that she cares about it more. Unless you can post her photos on Instagram and live-Tweet your date for her, you’re pretty useless at that specific moment. [Read: 12 sad but true signs she’s just not that into you and never will be!]

7. Your call goes to voicemail during her downtime more than usual

Who uses voicemail these days? The only reason why you’re getting transferred to her answering service when you know she’s not at work or out with friends is because she wants to talk to you as little as possible. How hard is it to call back, anyway?

8. She Seen-Zones you or she doesn’t read your message for a day or more

Unless the girl you’re seeing is adamantly against technology, there is no reason why she wouldn’t be able to receive your message. She saw your text. She just doesn’t want to reply or start a conversation. [Read: 18 obvious signs you’re already in a girl’s friend zone]

9. She keeps you interested up to a point

You can’t stop thinking about her because she designed your situation to end up that way.

By giving you scraps of affection, she manages to keep you hanging because she’s probably keeping you as a back-up until she finds her “One True Love.”

10. She sounds uninterested

Indifference is one of the reactions that are easy to decipher. A person who is unenthusiastic is easily recognizable. Her glassy eyes, monotone voice, and general appearance of boredom are definite signs that she is not interested.

She’s also probably not rejecting you because she thinks it’s too much work, so stop pursuing the girl.

11. She never initiates anything

Maybe you don’t notice it at first because you’re blinded by love or lust. But after a while, you start to realize that she never initiates texts, calls, or seeing you.

Sometimes you feel like if you didn’t reach out first, you may never hear from her again.

12. She talks about girls to set you up with

She probably has a lot of friends. But if she’s suddenly telling you that she thinks you and her friend Jenny would be great together and that the two of you should meet, then she’s wanting to push you off on her friend – not keep you for herself. [Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease her without being weird]

13. She talks about other guys

Similar to wanting to set you up with another girl, she also talks about other guys with you.

This is her indirect way of telling you that she has friend-zoned you. She’s telling you that she is much more interested in these guys than she is in you.

14. She blows hot and cold

This might confuse you because sometimes she seems really into you, and then other times she’s very uninterested.

She might just like the attention from you when she is blowing hot. And if she’s blowing cold, then maybe she is getting attention from other guys and is annoyed by you at the moment. [Read: Blowing hot and cold – Why they do this, the stages, and how to handle it]

15. She ghosts you

If you noticed that you’re the only one who initiates anything, maybe you have backed off a bit. And then it’s crickets – complete silence from her end. Or perhaps she just unexpectedly stopped responding to any of your attempts to reach out.

She totally disappeared, even if it’s for a short time. This is a huge sign that you should stop pursuing the girl.

16. She breadcrumbs you

When someone breadcrumbs another person, they give them just enough attention to make them think that they like them.

But that’s all it is – crumbs. It’s nothing real. They just want to keep you around for their own amusement when they feel like it. [Read: The shameless signs of breadcrumbing girls use for an ego boost]

17. She always has to “check her schedule”

If you ask her to hang out – or even out on an official date – she frequently uses the age-old line, “I need to check my schedule and I’ll let you know.”

But the problem is, she always forgets the “I’ll let you know” part. She just conveniently “forgets” about it. [Read: 27 clear signs she’s not that interested in you anymore and getting bored]

18. She avoids physical touch

If you are sitting on a couch or walking alongside each other, then she makes sure that she keeps the distance between the two of you. She doesn’t initiate hugs or any other physical touch. In fact, it seems like she’s always moving away from you.

19. She prefers to see you in groups

She might have actually said yes to hanging out with you or to a “date,” but she always wants to bring her friends.

Or, if she invites you anywhere, you can be sure there will be a group there. She does this because she is trying to avoid hanging out one-on-one with you.

20. She looks sloppy around you

When a girl is into you, she makes every effort to look her very best. So, if you notice that she dresses up around other people *and guys* but only wears sweats, a t-shirt, and no makeup around you, it’s because she doesn’t feel the need to impress you.

In fact, she might be trying to look bad on purpose so you lose interest in her.

So should you stop pursuing this girl for good?

Of course, you put in a lot of effort in trying to get the girl you like to like you back, but you have to know when to give up. Some girls are worth the wait, but a lot of them don’t want the guys they’re not interested in to bother. [Read: 20 foolproof ways to make a great girl fall for you and win her heart]

Don’t sell yourself short because there is at least one girl out there who will appreciate the attention that you give them. You should not settle for someone who doesn’t want the same things you do. That is just a big waste of your time.

Wouldn’t it be sad to realize that you didn’t notice the girl who liked you because you were too busy clamoring for the attention of the one who didn’t?

[Read: 18 qualities of a good man that sets him apart from lesser men]

These signs to know when to back off and stop pursuing a girl will guide you into making the right decision about your pursuit of the perfect girl. If she’s guilty of any of these, then she might not be so perfect after all. Don’t just give your time and effort to someone who doesn’t value it. Give it to someone who deserves it.