Do Guys Like It When Girls Make the First Move? 18 Truths & Steps

Do men like a dominant woman, and do guys like it when a girl makes the first move? Do they find it sexy and confident, or embarrassingly emasculating?

So you’re wondering if guys like it when girls make the first move. It’s a tricky thing, because, sometimes, a lady just likes to be in charge. She likes to ask for the phone number first, likes to make the move for the kiss first, and likes the adorably shocked, yet delighted look on her man’s face as she does so.

For some women, the matter of making the move is an exertion of power or control over the given situation, while for others it’s simply a way to get from point A to point B.

Regardless of why she does it, the question here is: do guys like it when girls make the first move?

You’re really asking whether or not a guy likes the idea of a girl who lets him off the figurative hook of always having to ask her out first? Come on! The dating world is a frustrating neighborhood, and your neighbors can be identified easily: mind games, playing hot and cold, and push and pull.

What kind of a man wouldn’t like to be let off and have the woman figure it out every once in a while?

Of course, there are obvious reasons why many men may feel uncomfortable with a woman being forward with what she wants, particularly if those men are the more traditional types.

Still, in short, the answer is a whopping YES.

Most men love it. In fact, they might just encourage the act to the secret society of unsure women. They want to take some of the pressure off of themselves for once, not having to worry about making the first call, text, hangout, or date arrangement.

[Read: How to ask a guy to hang out and make him want to even if you’re a shy girl]

Why do guys like it when girls make the first move?

If you’re a woman who’s wondering if making the first move would earn you brownie points, here are some of the top reasons.

1. Low-pressure lady

One of the main reasons men like it is that it takes the pressure off. Anyone who’s ever had a crush knows the painstaking effort it can take to reveal your true feelings when you don’t know if they’re reciprocated.

Men like not having to worry about the responsibility of making the first move, plus the worry and awkwardness that comes along with it. So if you’re looking to make the first move, why not just go for it?

2. Shy boys love bold women

Some men are just downright shy, and the thought of a girl making all the moves and initiating all the action may be just what the doctor ordered.

These guys will feel at ease with a take-charge woman and will be more than happy to watch you make all the moves. [Read: How to get the shy guy to like you and ask you out]

3. Confidence is sexy

You taking charge with your first moves will tantalize him, making him wonder what your sex moves are going to be like. Men love confidence in women. To them, there’s nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go out there and get it.

To men, a confident girl is a self-sufficient, non-clingy, independent decision-maker. She’s courageous, fearless, and fabulous.

But despite these big reasons, of course, there may still be guys who aren’t into the whole take-charge attitude. [Read: 24 ways to be a strong independent woman that all men love and desire]

4. It’s flattering

When someone asks you out, it’s a huge compliment, isn’t it? It means they think you’re attractive and like your personality. And who doesn’t like to be flattered like this? Of course, women do!

But men are human too, and he likes being complimented and having a woman indirectly tell him “you’re awesome” by asking him out. So do guys like girls who make the first move? While some guys may be taken aback pleasantly, they’ll still be VERY flattered!

5. It boosts his ego

If a guy is used to asking girls out, but she gets to him first, it can really boost his ego. He suddenly feels a lot better about himself – even if he did already.

Now, this can be good or bad, depending on the guy. If he’s a player, then that could have a negative consequence for you. But if he’s just a normal guy, it’s great to give him a boost to his ego. [Read: Why men like a chase and how to use this in your favor]

6. He likes being chased

In the traditional sense of the world, usually, the males chase the females. It’s just sort of rooted in biology. But while doing all of the chasing can be fun and challenging, it can also be exhausting too.

So, when you ask him out, he doesn’t have to chase you. You give him a break and he can sit back and enjoy being pursued like women have for all these centuries. [Read: Role reversal – How to read the signs a guy wants YOU to chase him]

7. He doesn’t have to get rejected

Guys have fragile egos too, you know. It’s not easy for them to put their ego on the line and ask a girl out. They always run the risk of getting rejected. And almost no human likes to be rejected, right?

So, it’s a big relief to them that they don’t have to face the possible slam to his self-esteem if he asks you out and you turn him down.

8. He thinks the woman is humble and real

When a woman is flirting and teasing a guy in order to have him ask her out, sometimes it can come across as fake. It’s almost like she’s playing a role and not being genuine just so she can score a date with him.

But if you are direct and honest when you ask him out, he will perceive you as humble and real. This makes you much more attractive to him.

9. He doesn’t have to wonder if you’re attracted to him

Even when guys ask girls out and a girl says yes, he is still not sure if she’s actually attracted to him or not. A lot of women are just really nice, and they don’t want to hurt a guy’s feelings by turning him down for a date.

So, if a girl asks a guy out and makes a move on him, he knows she finds him attractive. This is also a relief because he doesn’t have to wonder whether he should kiss her or make another move at the end of the night. [Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested without being overeager]

10. He’s not into traditional gender roles

The world is very different now than it was in the 1950s. Back then, men were the dominant ones and took the lead. Women didn’t work and stayed home with the babies.

So, if he’s not into those traditional gender roles, he will know that you aren’t either. And that means that you could be a very good match!

Why don’t some guys like it when girls make the first move?

Despite how fabulous you feel being a take-charge woman, there are some men out there who find the act of the woman making the first move a little odd. While some women may find this a little 1950s, these men have their reasons, too.

1. It’s not very ladylike

The first reason guys might not like girls making the first move is that they might not see it as ladylike. Men usually seem more comfortable with women initiating the first sexual move, but not the emotional ones, such as who makes the first date or the first restaurant pick.

If you’ve made the first move physically on your new guy, you might feel empowered, but he might be wondering how many guys you’ve been with before him that’s made you so bold and eager.

Basically, unfair as it is, by making the first physical move, unfortunately, you do risk the chance of coming off a bit like a slut, especially to guys who have suspicious and incredibly narrow minds. [Read: Why do guys only want to hook up with me? And all you want is a genuine boyfriend!]

2. Intimidating and emasculating

On top of being intimidating, some men might find this type of woman emasculating. If he’s expecting to ask you out, or initiate the first kiss, then he may be thrown off by your commanding choices.

While it may seem like a problem a teenage boy should have, grown men have been known to run off and pout at this behavior.

You’ve stolen his balls, he thinks, and that may be a sign for things to come in the relationship… And that’s never a good sign for a man! [Read: 14 things women say or do that emasculate a man and break his balls!]

3. He’s traditional

Traditional guys are the types who still open car doors for you, still like asking you out, and still believe that men are to be the instigators in relationships. Traditional guys may not be into your new world, strong woman feminism. 

That’s not to say these types of men should be attacked for their beliefs, nor does it mean that they hate women’s rights – it simply means they were brought up in a more traditional sense and aren’t too sure how to handle your take-charge attitude. [Read: Why guys like ladies who are more demure]

Always keep in mind that just because you have a “leading lady” position, and your man likes it, doesn’t mean he should slack in taking charge. You work hard and you deserve to be swept off your feet, too. [Read: 18 things a girl does that makes a guy think she’s an easy lay and easy to sleep with]

How to ask a guy out and still be desired and respected by him

Now that you know all the reasons guys would like girls to make the first move – and why they wouldn’t – you should decide if you’re going to go through with it or not. If you decide to go for it, then here are some ways you can ask him out.

1. Offer him a free ticket to something

This is always a great, casual, nonchalant way to ask someone out. Buy two tickets to something like a concert or a sporting event. Then, you can say to him, “I am going to this concert and my friend bailed on me, so I have an extra ticket. Would you like to go with me?”

This is very slick because he’s not necessarily sure if you are asking him on a date or just don’t want to waste the ticket. IF he likes you enough, he will jump at the chance. [Read: How to ask a guy to hang out and make him want you even if you’re shy]

2. Find a common interest

If you’re wondering whether guys like girls who make the first move, and want to test the waters with this guy first, talk to him and find out what he likes doing.

Does he like to run, hike, go to happy hour, see movies, or do something else that you like to do? Once you find something that you both have a common interest in, then you can suggest doing it together.

You can say, “Have you ever been hiking at Hocking Hills?” and if he says no, then you can say, “Oh you should definitely try it sometime. Let me know if you do, I can show you around!” [Read: How to ask a guy out like a classy girl and leave him wanting more]

3. Ask him out for coffee

Coffee is a low-key activity to do with someone. It can be short and sweet, and you can do it during work or school. It’s not too committal either.

So, when you see him, you can say something like, “I’m about to go grab some coffee across the street. Want to come with me?” He might not be entirely sure if it’s a date, but at least you will get alone time to spend together.

An alternative to this is to just tell him you’re hungry and see if he wants to grab lunch with you. [Read: 15 sneaky ways to get a guy to ask you out by dropping subtle hints]

4. Arrange a group date

If you aren’t ready to ask him out on an individual date, you can try the group date approach if you have mutual friends or co-workers. That way, you don’t completely open yourself up to rejection, but he knows you thought enough about him to invite him along.

5. Be confident

This is really the most important thing to remember. When you ask a guy out, you have to project self-confidence. If you seem nervous or your voice is shaking, he might not be as receptive. Guys like girls who value themselves, and they will be even more attractive when that confidence comes through.

[Read: How to ask a guy out on a date over text – 15 moves that work like a charm]

Now you know if guys like it when girls make the first move. And so what if your potential man isn’t a fan of you making the first move? Screw him. In the end, you’re a strong woman who wants what she wants, and if you want to make the first move, then grab life by the balls and go for it!