Relationship Slump: 22 Ways to Get Out & Come Out Closer than Ever

All relationships have their highs and lows. It’s just an inevitable romantic cycle. So, here are some tips for how to get through the relationship slump.

Ah, yes, the relationship slump. You never think it’s going to happen to you until one day you wake up and bam—there it is.

Most of the time, you don’t even realize it’s happening until it’s too late. Though you may think it’s a reason to freak out, calm down. All relationships go through their ups and downs; it’s only normal.

You’re with one person in a committed relationship. Sometimes the excitement dwindles, and the spark cools off.

But this isn’t anything to worry about; you don’t need to break up with your partner this very minute. If anything, it’s a wake-up call for you and your partner to reevaluate the relationship and get back on track. [Read: 20 honest reasons and signs why you’re bored with your relationship]

22 fun ways to get out of a relationship slump

Relationships take a lot of work, and sometimes we get so caught up in work, and the daily routine, we forget about putting in the effort into our relationships. But by recognizing the slump you’re in, it’s a good time to change. Now, you can work towards getting out of the slump and back on track.

Since you’re here, you may not know exactly how to get the relationship out of its slump. Don’t worry; it’s a good question to ask. If you’re not sure, it’s great you’re reading this.

We’re going to tell you everything you need to know about getting out of your relationship slump and back to enjoying the pleasures of being in a relationship. Honestly, relationships are not all rainbows and puppies. [Read: Boring boyfriend? 22 signs it’s his fault and how to make love exciting again]

1. Relationships go through phases

You may have been through a relationship slump before, and you know what? That’s perfectly normal. You and your partner are both going through your own journeys, and this will affect the relationship.

There will be times when you will be very connected and other times when the relationship will be a little cold. Remember, relationship slumps can occur from time to time. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples go through]

2. Accept the relationship rut

You’re in a relationship slump, right? Right. Accept the situation for what it is. If not, you’ll continue to live in denial without addressing the actual problems.

Talk to your partner and tell them how you’re feeling. If you feel the relationship isn’t where it once was, they should know. Maybe they’re feeling the same. Communication is the first step to progress.

3. It’s a two-way street

If you’ve told your partner you feel the relationship is in a rut, and they agree and want to work on it, great. But the work cannot come only from you.

Relationships are a two-way street, and if your partner isn’t putting in equal effort, this isn’t going to work. 

4. You may need to change

We’re not saying you must change who you are, that’s not what we want you to do. But you may need to accept constructive criticism from your partner. Maybe they feel you’re not communicative enough. In that case, work on your communication skills.

Change doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but if you find these goals are negatively affecting you, make sure these goals aren’t changing who you are. [Read: How to fix the lack of communication in your relationship]

5. Try new things with your partner

Yes! It’s time to bring back the spark in your relationship. Do something exciting together.

Have you tried rock climbing? Parasailing? Hiking? You don’t need to jump out of an airplane *unless you want to*, but try new things together and create new memories. [Read: 23 really ingenious ways to keep your relationship exciting all the time]

6. Relationship slump doesn’t mean you become clingy

People often think that to get out of a rut, they need to spend more time with their partners. That isn’t the case.

Getting out of a rut doesn’t mean smothering your partner. Focus on spending quality time with your partner instead. Just because you’re in a rut doesn’t mean you can’t be your own person.

7. Be more thoughtful

You don’t need to buy your partner a fancy car or the new iPhone to show love and thoughtfulness. Packing them lunch in the morning or sending them flowers at work are small gestures that show them you care. People focus on small acts of kindness, not big ones. [Read: 30 sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life]

8. Do activities your partner enjoys

And vice versa, of course. If you want to reconnect with your partner, do things they enjoy. If they’re big on kayaking, grab a paddle and spend the day paddling around. It’s important you show them support in what they love doing, and vice versa.

9. Go down memory lane

Where was your first kiss? Your first date? The first time you said, “I love you?” Revisit the places where you shared positive memories, and look at the good moments you shared together. Not only will it make you feel all mushy inside, but it’ll show both of you why you are together.

10. Get spicy in bed

You don’t need to bring out the heavy BDSM equipment just yet. But usually when the relationship is running a little dry, so is the sex.

Try role-play, a new position, or have sex in public. Explore each other’s sexuality and have fun. Talk to your partner beforehand, and see if there’s something new they’d like to try in bed. [Read: Top 50 kinky ideas that are worth trying in every relationship]

11. Work on affection

When the relationship is dry, we’re usually not as affectionate as we once were. But, being affectionate towards your partner has many benefits.

By being affectionate, it increases oxytocin, which is the hormone for intimacy and love. Hold hands, give each other kisses, and caress each other while watching a movie. It’ll work, trust me.

12. Weekly date nights are a must

Ah, yes, date night – the perfect cure for a relationship slump. No, this doesn’t mean Netflix and Chill – that’s not a real date night.

Cook dinner together, rent a hotel room for the night, or spend an evening watching the sunset. Leave the television, leave Netflix, and leave your phone. This is the time for you and your partner to reconnect.

13. Practice self-care

If you don’t love yourself, how can you love someone else? When you’re not able to love and care for yourself, it affects your relationship negatively.

Spend time doing things that make you happy and work on your self-esteem. When you love yourself, you’re automatically more positive and affectionate. It all works together. [Read: How to discover self-love and usher in happiness]

14. Evaluate the relationship

If you’re doing everything you can, and still nothing is changing, perhaps you should look at the relationship and see if it’s really for you.

If you’re finding that you have drifted in different directions, that’s okay. What’s important is that you’re honest with yourself.

15. Talk about it

You can’t just put your head in the sand and expect your slump to go away. You both have to not only acknowledge it, but talk about it too. If you ignore the problems, then they will only get worse. You can’t change what you don’t recognize.

So, have an honest heart-to-heart conversation about how and why your relationship has gotten to this point. Both partners need to give their point of view and own up and take responsibility for their part in getting where you are. [Read: The 80/20 rule in relationships and why it’s so important for happy love]

16. Become selfless

Relationships are like plants. If you don’t water and tend to a plant, it will die. The same is true for relationships. If you don’t nurture your relationship, it will wither away. One of the ways that you nurture a relationship is by nurturing your partner.

If you are being selfish and ignoring them, then this is contributing to the demise of your relationship. You can’t expect to be on your phone or play video games 24/7 and expect your partner to like it.

You need to put their needs at least equal to – if not before – your own. That’s one of the biggest ways to get out of a relationship slump. [Read: How to stop being selfish – 20 ways to stop using and hurting others]

17. Be a team

Yes, you are two different individuals. But when you are in a partnership, you are a team. Imagine if all the players on a basketball team did their own thing whenever they wanted on the court. They would be the worst team in the world, right?

It’s the same way for a romantic relationship. If you don’t feel like you are a team, then you will grow apart. When you are fighting, you need to work together to find solutions that work for the both of you. Working together really bonds two people and will help you get out of your slump. [Read: The 17 most important things in a relationship that hold it together]

18. Try deep conversations

When a couple is in a slump, it is usually because they are not connecting anymore. Think back to when you first started dating. What was one of the major things that bonded the two of you together? Talking, and getting to know each other.

So, you need to have interesting, deep conversations again. If you can’t think of anything to talk about, use these 30 naughty and sexy questions for couples that’ll subliminally bring the sexy spark back.

19. Start a hobby together

Another thing that bonds people, especially in the beginning, is doing fun things together. If you have gotten to the point where all you do with your partner is sit on the couch and watch TV every day, then you are going to have to find something that you both enjoy doing that is new.

Try a new hobby. It could be photography, painting, tennis, pottery, or anything else that sounds interesting to both of you. The point is to get out of your rut and do something exciting. Make sure it’s a mutual agreement.

20. Appreciate each other

One of the biggest reasons that relationships get into a slump is because a couple stops appreciating each other.

Instead, they focus on the things that their partner does that bother them. This focus on negativity is part of how you got to where you are today. [Read: 19 ways to pull back in a relationship when you’re giving too much]

So, you need to refocus your thoughts on what you love and appreciate about your partner. Do this together. Sit down and write down a list of all the things you appreciate about each other. Once you write the list, talk about it. Then, keep those qualities in mind as you go forward, and implement these compliments into your everyday routine. [Read: The 25 best relationship topics to talk about if you want to be happy together]

21. Write love notes

Once you have rediscovered what you appreciate and love about each other, one great tip you can use is to write each other surprise love notes once in a while. This will bring a smile to their face when they find them in unexpected places.

Write them on sticky notes and place them on their laptop, in their car, in their lunch bag, or on the bathroom mirror. It doesn’t matter where you put it, the point is to sprinkle love around your world so your partner starts appreciating you again. [Read: How to make a relationship last – 25 rules you can’t ignore]

22. Seek professional help

Sometimes, the relationship slump has gone on so long that it’s difficult for two people to get past it all by themselves. If that’s happening to you, then you might need to seek professional help from a counselor or psychologist.

This isn’t an act of weakness. In fact, it’s an act of strength. Both of you need to be on the same page and put in equal effort for getting out of the slump and back in love like when you first met.

[Read: How to reconnect with your partner and rekindle a flickering romance]

Being in a relationship slump is going to happen at some point in your relationship. It happens to ALL of us. What’s important is how you work together to get back into a healthy space.