18 Ways to Get to Know a Guy Better Before You Decide to Date Him

Someone asked you out, or you’re in a new relationship. But who is this person? Here’s how to get to know a guy and find out if he’s really right for you.

Getting to know a man for the person he really is, is always tricky business. And no one really teaches us how to get to know a guy better, which is why we are here to help.

All girls know that a guy always puts on his best act when he’s on a date with a girl or even if he’s trying to fix a date with a girl.

But is that really who he is, or is it all an act that masks his real self until he’s able to convince you to fall for him?

If you want to get to know a guy better before falling for him, here’s everything you need.

[Read: What to look for in a man – 40 things make really make him worth dating]

How to get to know a guy better

It’s never easy to really get to know a guy. The easiest way to get to know him is by having a conversation with him and letting your instincts kick in.

But at times, all of us need a few pointers to get started in the right direction. Use these tips and you should have all your doubts cleared within the first few dates. [Read: 40 revealing questions to get to know a guy you are interested in]

How to get to know a guy before meeting him

If he’s asked you out on a date, and you’ve got a bit of time on your hands before Friday night, here are the first two things you could do to get to know him better.

1. Find him online

Spend a few minutes and see if he’s got an online presence. Perhaps he has a blog, or an active twitter account. It can reveal a lot about him and the way he thinks.

If you know him already, follow him on Instagram or friend him on Facebook and glance through his conversations and feed. These moves will tell you everything you need to know without actually meeting a guy.

Of course, it’s a curated feed of his best highlights, but it’s a better first look than anything else you have right now. [Read: Is it normal if a guy follows sexy Instagram models?]

2. Ask common friends

Speak to a few common friends and casually ask about him. Try to be discreet and create a conversation that’ll include something about him instead of asking about him directly.

If he hears that you’ve been asking about him, he’ll try his best to portray a squeaky-clean image when you meet him. [Read: How to know if a guy is playing you – 40 signs he’s just using you]

How to get to know a guy on your first date

First dates are the best times to test your compatibility and get to know a guy better.

1. Ask him the date questions that matter

There are a few first date questions, and then there are those first date questions that can really reveal a lot about a person. Use this list of 20 fun-sounding but very important questions to ask a guy on a first date. They will literally give you all the information to read him in and out.

2. What’s your first impression?

This may seem rather shallow, but if you do intend to spend a lot of time in his arms, he has to appear good enough for you.

A first impression is a lasting one, and if his attempt at a first impression fails miserably, there may be many more awkward dates in the future too. [Read: How to get to know someone on a date and calculate your compatibility instantly]

3. Does he know his dating etiquette?

How does he behave on the date? Does he go out of his way to ensure that you have a good time or is he just a diamond in the rough?

While some girls may love a guy who needs a bit of work, most girls don’t like dating a guy for the sheer pleasure of creating a better man out of him.

Pay attention to his manners and the way he speaks. Does he use bad language or does he behave rather rudely all of a sudden? And does he have a sense of humor? These are little things that can say a lot about the kind of person he is. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend to look out in the first two dates]

4. Does he stare at your girlie parts?

Some guys just can’t stop themselves from staring at inappropriate places even on the first date. If a guy visualizes you as a piece of meat and not as a woman who deserves respect, he may not be the right guy for you.

A few discreet boob glances are completely acceptable and even flattering. But outright stares and drools are something that should not be tolerated. [Read: The real reason behind why men like breasts]

5. Is he overly flirty or fake?

Many guys read a lot of things about how to be a great guy and try to create a fake personality just to look good on a date.

Is your date one of those guys? If a guy flirts like there’s no tomorrow or seems extremely fake, there’s a good chance he’s not who he’s portraying himself to be.

6. Is he trying too hard to please?

A few guys may fall plump in this category. While some men are born smooth talkers and chivalrous modern knights, others just try overly hard to please you on the first date.

Sometimes, their eagerness to please you could even turn out to be embarrassing, especially if he really doesn’t know how to behave on a date.

Unless he’s a great guy who knows his chivalry, he could be one of these two things. He may be extremely interested in you. Or you may be one of the few girls showing interest in him. [Read: 18 serious warning signs of a clingy creepy guy and how to weed them out ASAP]

How to get to know a guy over text – The right questions to ask

Once you’ve met the guy a couple of times, or have started texting each other, here are some questions you can ask the guy over text in order to get to know him better and assess whether or not he is someone you want to go out with.

If you want to know how to get to know a guy over text, slip these questions in occasionally in the middle of a conversation, and his answers will instantly reveal his compatibility with you. [Read: 20 good questions to ask a guy and find out who he really is]

1. Where are you from?

2. Are you close to your parents?

3. Do you have siblings?

4. What do you do for a living?

5. What are some major goals you have for the future?

6. Do you prefer outdoor or indoor activities?

[Read: 18 happy signs your date likes you and wants to see you again ASAP]

7. Would you ever go sky diving or bungee jumping?

8. Do you ever want to get married or have a family?

9. What is your biggest accomplishment?

10. Do you like talking about politics?

[Read: 28 awkward questions to ask a guy + embarrassing ones you should never ask him]

11. Are you a religious person?

12. Do you like parties?

13. What’s the longest relationship you have been in?

14. Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?

15. Why did your last relationship end?

[Read: 50 questions for a new relationship to predict a romantic future]

If you want to know how to get to know a guy, all of these questions are important because they help you get a clearer picture of who he really is.

For example, asking if he’s an introvert or extrovert and if he likes going to parties will help you assess his personality. If you’re an extrovert and he’s an introvert, maybe you aren’t a good match if you like going to parties and he doesn’t.

If when you ask why his last relationship ended, he blames everything on his ex, then that could be a red flag. It could show that he won’t ever take personal responsibility in your relationship if you happen to continue dating him.

You see, these kinds of questions are great to ask so that you can accurately assess whether or not the two of you are a good match. [Read: 150+ personal questions to ask a guy and make him open up to you like a book]

How to get to know a guy when you know him better

Once you’re past the first date and still sticking around, here are a few key signs you need to keep in mind if you want to know how to get to know a guy better.

1. How do his friends treat him?

Do his friends treat him with respect or do they make fun of him in a manner that’s so-not-charming? If his friends don’t really respect him, he’s not someone who’s taken seriously.

On the other hand, if his friends treat him respectfully or even brag about him, he’s a guy who’s respected and taken seriously by his friends. [Read: 24 signs a man’s friends don’t respect him or care enough about it]

2. Has his interest in you dwindled?

How does this guy behave with you now that both of you are past the first date?

Does he treat you the same way he did on the first date, or has his new mean alter-ego kicked in? If a guy changes too quickly, chances are he’s just pretending to be holier than he really is. [Read: Why do men like a chase so much and how to use this secret in your favor]

3. How does he behave with women friends?

Does he have a lot of flirty friends, or do you find him getting touchy-feely with a lot of his women friends?

While this may seem like a sign of his charm and wit, it can also lead to insecurity if he’s a smooth talker who forgets about his own girlfriend when other women enter the scene. [Read: Does your guy have a flirty girl best friend?]

4. Does he get offended easily?

If he does get offended easily even if both of you are in public, stay away from him. He may have a lot of issues or he may just be a spoilt child who’s always got what he wanted.

You don’t need guys like that in your life. If he takes offense when you put him down or pull his leg, he’s the kind of boy your mama’s warned you about. He’s not a bad boy. He’s just a spoilt child with a swollen ego. [Read: Super self-obsessed – 22 signs you’re dating an egomaniac]

5. Is he dating someone else or does he have a past?

Now this is never easy to know. The guy you like may actually be in another relationship in another state or involved in a long distance relationship, or worse, he may be married or even have kids.

Always keep your eyes peeled and watch the signs that matter. After all, it’s always better to be safe than sorry. [Read: 15 very obvious signs he has a girlfriend and is seeing someone else]

6. Does he have a temper?

Sometimes guys can be very charming and charismatic in the beginning. They put their best foot forward and make the girls think that they are the most amazing man they have ever met. Then she falls for him…and he “changes.”

Watch out for whether or not he gets angry easily. It doesn’t even have to be anger directed toward you – it could be anyone.

But if you are seeing that his emotions get the best of him sometimes – and not in a good way – that is a huge red flag. Because it will probably only get worse as time goes on. [Read: 22 signs of a weak man in a relationship that may surprise you]

7. Watch for red flags

While anger is a huge red flag, there are endless ones that you need to pay attention to if you want to know how to get to know a guy.

When people first start dating, sometimes they are not really their true, authentic self. They sort of put on an “act” that they can’t keep up for very long before they turn back into who they really are.

So, you want to watch him and his actions very carefully. If he starts to show signs of things you don’t like, then you will not be happy with how he is later on.

For example, maybe goes to the restroom and let you pay the bill every time you are at a restaurant. That’s a huge red flag that says he’s cheap and/or that he’s using you. [Read: 34 big relationship red flags most women totally ignore early on]

8. Do his words and actions match?

It’s easy to say anything you want. But it’s a lot more difficult for your actions to follow through with what you said.

So, watch his words and actions. Do they match? Or is there a huge disconnect? If they match, then he’s a good guy. If they don’t, then you might want to think about walking away.

For example, if he says that he’s a real gentleman and knows how to treat a lady, yet he never holds a door open for you or lets you pay for him everywhere you go, then he is not acting like a gentleman. As they say, “actions speak louder than words,” so pay attention to them!

9. Is he consistent?

A guy should be consistent and reliable. But if he’s not consistent, then that could turn into a huge problem. For instance, if he texts and calls you 24/7 for weeks, but then all of a sudden, he goes radio silent, then this is a bad sign.

You don’t want to see drastic changes in his behavior over time. If you do, then you know something shady is going on or he is just a huge flaky person. You should try to find someone who is reliable, dependable, and consistent. [Read: Blowing hot and cold – The 3 stages to explain why a guy does this to play you]

10. Remember his flaws and confront them

Is he a shy guy or does he avoid talking about something? Or is there something that instinctively bothers you about his behavior?

If there’s any flaw or worry that bothers you about him, try to find out about it before you get into a relationship with him. Talk to him or casually bring it up in a conversation when he’s with his friends to hear an unbiased explanation.

Try to remove all doubts if you want to get to know a guy. But if you still feel like you don’t know something, it’s safer to back away for a while until he comes clean.

[Read: 33 traits of a good boyfriend you should always look for in a guy you date]

If you really want to understand how to get to know a guy better, there’s no easier and yet, more detailed way to get to know a guy. Use these tips and get to know him, and if you’re ready, take the plunge!