How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back After a Regretful Parting

There’s no right set of words to describe the earth-shattering pain of a breakup. So when learning how to get your ex boyfriend back, use these 17 steps.

Nobody’s perfect. We mess up and make mistakes and end up living to regret those decisions. Perhaps something you’ve recently messed up on was ending a relationship that was actually really great. If that’s the case, you might want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back.

It might not be easy, but if you regret it, there are always ways to fix a messed-up romance, salvage it and come out stronger as well.

However, this does depend on how much you hurt him and how angry he is with you *if there was an argument involved or you falsely accused him of something*. He might need some time to think through things before deciding if he wants to be with you or not.

After all, you did break his heart and walked away from the relationship. But you’re human, and you’re allowed to regret certain decisions in your life – including a breakup.

[Read: The dumper’s regret – The timeline and phases of regret you’ll experience after dumping someone]

Stop treating fights like a breakup!

You and your partner get into a fight and you end up breaking up with them, only to try and get them back later. But really, breaking up is not something to take lightly. If you’re just fighting, work it out. Why is a single argument enough to make you want to leave someone?

If you’re calling the relationship off each time you have a fight, and if you’re begging for him back later, you don’t honestly want to end your relationship. Doing this over and over will make it harder and harder to get that person back each time. Breaking up with someone is a really intense decision, and you should never take it lightly.

While there are certainly valid reasons to break up, you need to ensure you’re making the right call. Don’t just walk away when things get hard or every time you fight.

You should never be using a breakup to escape from conflict and go back to them when it’s convenient for you. That’s not how a relationship should work. 

[Read: 20 valid reasons to break up with someone you need to consider before ending things]

Why do we regret a breakup?

There are several reasons why we end up regretting a breakup. The most common cause for regret is when you break up with someone impulsively. This means you didn’t stop to think about the consequences of your actions, or you never weighed in if you’re actually making the right call.

You just did it, possibly because of your overwhelming emotions during the fight or another factor entirely. A breakup hurts no matter what, but it hurts even more if you keep breaking up and getting back together. This on-off cycle just because you broke up with them impulsively will leave your partner disheartened.

But again, you’re human, and regret is something you’ll experience a few times in your life. So if you’re wondering how to get your ex boyfriend back because you think you made the wrong decision, it’s possible that your boyfriend is feeling the same way as well.

But if you ended things in a hurry, you need to realize that you broke his heart when you decided to walk away, so it’s definitely not going to be a piece of cake winning him back. [Read: Regret breaking up? 15 signs you should give it another chance]

How to get your ex boyfriend back if you regret the breakup

So you let your man go and now you want him back. Whether you realized how much you cared for him or you were just angry and now you’re not, you’ll need some help. Here are some steps that’ll help you earn back your lover’s trust.

1. Think about how you left things

Did you leave after a fight, or did you just end things calmly and in a nice way? This will make a huge difference.

If you two were fighting, you probably said some mean things you didn’t mean, and that’ll make it harder to get him back.

However, if you sat him down and broke up with him, you’ll have to think about your reasons for doing so. Are those reasons legit, or did you just make up excuses? Now that you realize you want him, you’ll have to convince him why. Reassure him that you made the wrong call to end things and you want to try it again. [Read: Mutual breakups – The signs and why they really happen]

2. Do you really want him back?

Do you actually want him back, or are you just lonely? This might sound a little harsh, but it happens too much. You break up with a guy you don’t like all that much and realize it’s more fun to have a boyfriend than it is to be alone.

If you’re just getting back together because you’re lonely, you’re getting back together for all the wrong reasons.

So make sure this is what you really want and not just an impulsive decision. Do you want him back in your life, or do you just want someone to cuddle up with and watch a movie? Don’t waste his time if it’s the latter. That is, if you want to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back, be honest about the reasons why. [Read: How to be single after a long relationship – 20 ways to start over a new life]

3. Apologize

You need to. Tell him you’re sorry for breaking up with him and not realizing how much you want him in your life. You did something wrong, and you messed up. Tell him that. If you expect him to come back to you even though you didn’t apologize, you’re out of your mind. The apology comes first.

This is the first thing you should be doing after you realize that being with him is what you really want and you’ve made a mistake. Most importantly, make sure your apology is genuine and sincere. [Read: 17 aww-so-sweet ways to genuinely say you’re sorry]

4. Solve any issues you had

Obviously, you broke up for a reason. What was that reason? Did you have problems and were fighting? If so, you’ll really have to work to get past those before you can get back together. A breakup doesn’t magically occur, so chances are, something triggered you to call it quits.

Communicate what the problem was and talk about it with him. It’s your only winning chance of making the relationship work so you don’t end up breaking up again *and regretting the breakup all over again*.

Get to the bottom of what your most significant issues are and talk them through. If you can’t get to a place where you both agree, you might not be able to work out. [Read: Why relationships fail – 25 reasons why love can fall apart completely]

5. Give him some space if he needs it

And he’ll probably need it. You just broke up with this person, and now you want him back. It looks pretty wishy-washy, and he’ll want to work through his own feelings. Leave him alone so he can do that. Don’t text. Don’t call. Just wait for him to come to you after he’s said he’ll think about it.

The fact you broke his heart and now you want him again is all very confusing for him. Let him process his emotions in his own way.

Don’t smother him or leave a hundred texts, even if you’re anxious to know if he still wants to be with you. He’s currently overwhelmed with emotions, so just let him be in the meantime. [Read: How to give him space without losing him or your confused mind]

6. Tell him how you really feel

Just open up to him. If you’re confused about how you feel, tell him. If you want to be with him but are having reservations for some reason, tell him.

You can’t get anywhere without some communication. You should know this by now, but communication is the key to making any relationship work.

So allow yourself to be vulnerable and honest with your feelings if you want to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back. This is highly critical if you’re going to repair your relationship and make things work. [Read: How to tell someone how you feel about them & share your feelings]

7. Show him you’re sorry

Don’t just tell him you’re sorry, but actively show him. Make it up to him. He’ll have to have proof you’re actually sorry for how much you’ve hurt him, so make an effort to make things up to him. You shouldn’t just stop by saying you’re sorry, but you need to mean your words genuinely.

Actions speak louder than words, after all. So apologizing with words won’t suffice if you want to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back.

We’re not saying you should make a grand gesture to get him back like what you see in romcoms *but that can work too*. What’s more important is the sincerity behind your actions. [Read: How to win a guy back when you messed up a perfectly good thing]

8. Don’t do anything drastic

Don’t cut your hair or get a tattoo or any piercings right away in an attempt to show him you’re desirable. And don’t try to make him jealous by getting with someone else. Just don’t do anything stupid or impulsive.

Give yourself some time to adjust and allow yourself to think clearly. There’s no need to try so hard or play mind games to win him back. This will naturally happen if he wants to, even without making all these drastic changes.

9. Appreciate him

Firstly, we just wanted to point out that you can’t really do this in excess if you’re broken up, and he’s thinking about his own feelings. All you can really do is tell him how much you appreciate him and how much you’d make sure to show that, if you got back together.

Make him realize that you’d be consistent in showing your appreciation if you do get back together. But again, if he’s very much hurt from the breakup, he might not see what you’re trying to do. [Read: 25 ways to show your appreciation without words]

10. Admit your mistakes

Just tell him you messed up, and it was a mistake. Again, this will be a lot easier if you open up and tell him how you’re really feeling. Just own up to it. He’ll admire your willingness to take the blame, and it can help you get him back. If anything, this might be one of the things he’s looking for in your apology.

If you don’t take accountability for your mistakes and admit your fault, he will not want to get back together. So if you’re serious about wanting to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back, start by admitting your mistakes and wrongdoings. [Read: How to open up to someone you’re dating when you’re scared]

11. Focus on bettering yourself

If he wants some time to think things through, give it to him. In the meantime, focus on bettering yourself. There was obviously an issue with how you felt about him and if it has to do with you not appreciating him enough, you’ll need to fix that.

Focus on learning to appreciate more things in your life. It’ll make being grateful for him much easier should you get back together. When you fix your issues, your relationship will go smoother if you do manage to mend things. [Read: How to be more positive – 24 steps to a happy and dramatic life shift]

12. Let his needs guide you

Your ex may need time and space to process what occurred before he can talk about it. It’s also common for this to be a matter of physical space. Respecting his boundaries and needs might go a long way toward showing him that he can rely on you again. He may also wish to see more of your side of things in the future.

Talking to a couple’s counselor might be helpful if you’ve made some progress in rebuilding your relationship and if you’re really eager to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back.

13. Commit to clear communication

Being open and honest with him is the best thing to do right now. So, make sure to do that right away. Evaluate the extent of communication he needs before doing this.

Let’s say you abused his trust by concealing information you thought was unimportant. This might be a sign that you both have a problem communicating.

Understanding what good communication in a relationship means can help you mend your relationship and prevent hurting him again in the future. Misunderstandings or misinterpretations can sometimes be just as damaging as dishonesty. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship – 16 steps to a better love]

14. Avoid dwelling on the past

It would help if you refrained from overly monitoring him to ensure that he isn’t deceiving you. In the beginning, this might be a challenge. A betrayal might make it tough to trust your lover again, particularly if you’re afraid of a second one.

Giving a relationship a second chance means trusting him again. There is a potential that you may not be able to trust him entirely, but you are saying that you will allow the trust to build. [Read: How to let go of the past and be excited by the future]

15. Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is vital in repairing a broken relationship. When forgiving him, you may also have to forgive yourself. Blaming oneself for what occurred might cause self-doubt. Your relationship may not heal as a result. It may be difficult to forgive and move on after a betrayal in some instances.

You need to remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean you admit that his actions were acceptable. Instead, you’re bringing yourself to accept whatever happened and put it behind you. [Read: How to forgive someone – 15 positive ways to unburden your mind]

16. Admit your feelings for him

If you tell your ex boyfriend that you want to get back together, put your ego aside and be honest about your feelings. Tell him where you think you went wrong, and tell him what hurt you about his behavior. Open up and talk from your heart for once.

And most importantly, don’t beg or plead for another opportunity *that will only make him feel coerced!*. Tell him how much you care about him and how much you don’t want to lose him again. If you’ve followed all the steps we’ve shared so far, now all you can do is wait. [Read: 15 subtle signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it]

17. Be prepared for a denial

He might not actually want you back. The decision to get back together may not go your way. Be prepared for this. You broke things off, and maybe he decided he likes things better that way. If that’s the case, you’ll just have to accept it and move on.

Accept that he might not want anything to do with you anymore after you broke up with him. Accept that you made the wrong decision and move forward.

Even if you want to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back, sometimes, it’s just not possible if he doesn’t want to. [Read: 15 ways to get a guy to like you again that works like a charm]

So, how to get your ex boyfriend back?

With these steps above, there’s a very good chance that you can get your ex-boyfriend back as long as you’re honest and sincere. But you also have to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.

It’s possible that he doesn’t want to get back together, especially if he thinks you’ll just do it all over again. Or, if he’s really convinced that you’re not suitable for one another.

If you really want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, you’ll have to apologize, take accountability for your mistakes, and be sincere with your intentions. Most importantly, don’t make the same mistake again.