How to Build Trust in a Relationship & Learn to Be Loyal and Loving

If you want your union to be happy and healthy, you need to focus on learning how to build trust in a relationship. Without trust, you have nothing.

Trust is such a delicate and yet magical word in relationships. If you can learn to trust your partner, you’d have a lover, a best friend, and a confidant all in one. But, first, you need to know how to build trust in a relationship.

Trust can do so many happy things to a relationship. The best thing it can do is bring both of you closer, avoid pain and hurt. It can make you fall more in love with each other every single day.

The problem is, if you’ve been hurt just once in the past, you can easily start to develop trust issues that can plague your relationships from that point onwards. By learning how to build trust and focus on healthy connections, your relationship stands a far better chance of going the distance.

[Read: Pistanthrophobia and the fear of trusting people again]

Why is learning how to build trust in a relationship so important?

If you think about it, why are you afraid of sharing all your thoughts with your partner? Probably because you’re afraid your partner will judge you negatively or even get hurt emotionally.

Simply put, you don’t trust your partner and your relationship enough to share your deepest, darkest secrets. Why? Because you don’t trust your lover enough to unburden your thoughts or deeds onto their shoulder.

Trust is vital.

Without trust, the entire relationship is doomed to fail. You’ll be constantly questioning your partner about where they’ve been or who they’re texting. Once you do that, you start to doubt their answers too. It’s a slippery slope that leads to misery and a total breakdown of your relationship over time.

When you learn how to build trust in a relationship, you feel more relaxed. You also feel special. You know this particular person has chosen you and they are committed to you. Isn’t that a great feeling?

Lack of trust is one of the main reasons why relationships fail. So, if you want to know why trust is important, surely that should tell you straight away. [Read: The 18 foundations of a relationship that split the good and the bad ones]

Understanding and trusting one another

When you learn to trust your partner, you also start to understand them much better. Of course, the same applies to how they feel about you. Your relationship becomes deeper and stronger.

We all see the world completely differently and we have to communicate and share our thoughts to understand one another.

However, in a relationship, it might be that you’re scared to say what you really think. You’re worried about being judged. So, you stay quiet and you just go along with whatever is suggested to you. Over time, you notice that you start to become less of yourself. You’re suppressing your true character.

Who’d have known that this also has a connection to trust? [Read: How to trust again in 8 simple, uncomplicated steps]

Basically, trust isn’t only about trusting your partner not to cheat on you or do anything stupid behind your back. It’s also about trusting them with your thoughts, your secrets, and ultimately, your heart.

Of course, one of the hardest issues is trying to trust someone after you’ve been cheated on. At times like these, regaining trust in a relationship takes a lot of time and patience.

But as long as you communicate with each other about your thoughts and learn to be frank, your relationship will only grow stronger with time, and so will the trust in the relationship. [Read: How to date with trust issues and learn to trust people again]

The most important steps to build trust in a relationship

If you want to know how to build trust in a relationship, learn to be honest with your partner. Your partner is your lover, but they’re also supposed to be your best friend, a person who knows you and understands you better than anyone else in the whole world.

Use these steps to build trust in a relationship and it’ll go a long way toward creating a happy union.

1. Talk about the long term

Are you looking for a serious relationship with your lover? If you are, you’re obviously in for the long haul. So make plans for it too. Talk about building a bigger house, having a pet, or how both your lives would be ten or twenty years from now.

By talking about the future, you’re reassuring your partner that you truly want to be with them and see them in your life even as the years and decades pass by. [Read: The 25 best relationship topics to talk about if you want to be happy in love]

2. Be dependable

Being dependable is one of the biggest factors in knowing how to build trust in a relationship. If your partner asks you to get something on your way back to your place, do you get it or do you forget it?

It could be the little things or it could be the big ones, but if you can be dependable, it makes all the difference in a happy relationship.

3. Talk about the people you find attractive

This can seem awkward and weird, but this is one of the biggest factors in building trust in a relationship. One of the biggest insecurities in a relationship is the fear of a partner straying away into someone else’s arms or liking someone else secretly.

But by actually acknowledging that either of you can find someone else attractive, you’re not making it taboo anymore. And by being truthful about it, you can build trust in the relationship and improve communication too. [Read: Does everyone get sexually attracted to someone else?]

4. Understand each other as you change and grow

Our likes and dislikes change all the time. Talk to your partner about each other’s interests and dreams, what either of you wants to be doing a few years down the lane, and where both of you should go on a vacation the next time around.

Ask about your partner’s day at work, and find out about their friends and all the other little details. When you show interest in each other’s lives, you understand each other better, improve communication, and easily build trust in a relationship. [Read: How well do you know me? 40 questions to help couples grow together]

5. Learn to be frank in love

Learning to trust each other or even communicate isn’t just about talking with each other or having a laugh. It’s also about expressing a negative opinion once in a while even if it sounds harsh.

Withholding your frustration won’t stop your partner from doing the same thing again. If something hurts you or is holding your partner back from achieving something better, talk about it when the time’s right.

One of the biggest mistakes couples do is expect their partner to read their mind.

Yes, you’ve been together for a long time, but that’s no reason to become mind readers. Even the best of lovers can overlook a few details now and then. So if something’s bothering you, learn to speak out the very instant it bothers you. [Read: How to bring up something that is bothering you and stop worrying]

6. Go on a date night once a week

You and your lover may be spending your evenings together, but are you really spending time with each other? Most of us watch the television or surf the phone while having dinner, and even while lying in bed. When you’re just spending time together without really talking, there’s no communication in the relationship. [Read: How to pick the perfect date restaurant]

To increase trust in a relationship, make plans with your partner to go out at least one evening a week. It doesn’t always have to be dinner, even spending a couple of hours in a café can make for a lot of great conversations that can be fun and bring both of you closer.

Putting your phone away may seem awkward and uncomfortable for the first few minutes, but as the conversation flows, the trust and communication will start to grow as well. [Read: Timing it well – Howe often should you see your boyfriend or girlfriend?]

7. Do things together during the weekends

Do either of you like gardening, rock sculpting, or perhaps even cooking something new? It doesn’t matter what both of you like, as long as something interests you. Weekend afternoons are a great time to do something together.

A beautiful weekend afternoon is warm and lazy, and spending time together during this part of the day can feel refreshing to both of you, and the relationship.

8. Avoid lies and sugarcoated confessions

To build trust in a relationship, you need to learn to be truthful. By lying or feeling suspicious about your partner, you’re not helping the communication in the relationship. Be truthful with each other and never give your partner the opportunity to doubt you. [Read: Why do people lie in relationships? 10 reasons why we fib]

Think your coworker is the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen? Fantasized about someone else last night? Your partner’s been putting on a lot of weight recently? Is the sex getting really monotonous? Tell the truth to your partner, delicately, of course!

Don’t talk about such details straight out. At times like these, make sure you bring the conversation up, but don’t be so direct about it. Always make sure you speak your mind, but it’s alright to sugarcoat your truth and mention it in passing, so it doesn’t hurt your partner. But always speak out about everything on your mind, it’s the only way to build trust in a relationship, and improve communication as well.

9. Talk about your sexual fantasies

This is one of the biggest things that matter in building trust in a relationship. Many partners want to do so many things in bed, but they just don’t know how to say it out in fear of being judged or rebuked.

Some partners like tantric sex or talking dirty. Some want to role play in bed. A few have sexual fetishes and others want to start swinging or indulge in exhibitionism and public flashing. [Read: 12 arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]

You know what, all these things are completely acceptable as long as it’s fun for both partners. Humans are creative creatures, so if you’ve got an active sexual imagination, why is that a bad thing?

Sexual communication in a relationship is crucial for any relationship to succeed, and to build trust as well. If both of you aren’t open sexually, it may lead to boring sex lives and one of you may even decide to have an affair with someone else.

Learn to speak your mind in bed, even if it feels awkward. If you’re uncomfortable talking about it, drop a few hints and see how your partner responds. And if your partner’s hinting at something unconventional in bed, don’t brush it away. Give it a thought if it’s what your partner likes and wants. [Read: Sexual fantasies for men and fantasies for women]

10. Acknowledge your partner’s thoughts

Learn to understand your partner and at times, talk to your partner like you would with a best friend. If you find your partner glancing very discreetly at a girl who looks quite good, don’t give him a bad stare and get huffy. Instead, acknowledge it and laugh about it. Instead of telling him to stop staring at her, tell him “she’s quite pretty, isn’t she?”

By acknowledging it, you’re letting your partner know that these passing glances are natural. Your partner may feel embarrassed *they should be!*, but they would understand the faith you have in them.

You would stare at a good looker if you were with a friend too, wouldn’t you? Staring discreetly doesn’t lead to an affair, a bad relationship or circumstances do. As long as your partner’s not disrespecting you, it’s okay to acknowledge a casual stare and laugh about it. [Read: The hotness indicator – How to know if someone else finds you very attractive]

And it’s not just about staring at the opposite sex, learn to read your partner’s thoughts even while shopping for clothes or while at the grocery store. If your partner’s staring at an expensive box of cigars or a makeup kit, talk about it and indulge your partner instead of nudging them away from that aisle. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship and wow your lover]

11. Don’t take your past baggage into new relationships

It’s very easy to start becoming distrustful of everyone once you’ve been hurt. But, you have to try your best not to take past baggage into a new relationship. If you’ve been hurt and cheated on in the past, know that your current partner isn’t responsible for it. They’re not your ex.

However, you should certainly talk to your partner about what happened so they can understand you better.

Then, you can work through your trust issues together. Your partner will be more sensitive to your needs and that will help you to build up your trust levels once more.

Ultimately, this is something only you can fix, but your partner can help you to start building yourself up once more. [Read: Emotional baggage – How to help someone put it down and find freedom]

Focus on trust and the rest will fall into place

Happy partners make happy relationships. And to have a happy relationship, you need to understand the importance of trust and effective communication in a relationship.

Being in love is no different than spending time with a best friend, other than the part where you have sex. Voice your opinions, understand each other’s thoughts and before you know it, you’d be completing each other’s sentences.

It’s a happy thought, isn’t it?

[Read: 20 things happy couples never ever do in a perfect relationship]

Knowing how to build trust in a relationship is not a small feat, but it’s something that can make both your lives happier and stress-free.