How to Pleasure a Woman: 19 Subtle Things Every Girl Craves in Bed

If you want to know how to pleasure a woman, you need to think about turning her on with her mind. It’s not all about touching, it’s about suggestion too. 

We all want to do our best to please our partners. The problem is, nobody is the same as anyone else. So, what works for one person may not and probably won’t work for another! There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to learning how to pleasure a woman.

It’s just about what works for her. Of course, that doesn’t help you when you don’t know here 100% yet! What you need to remember is that what works for you, probably won’t automatically work for her.

When it comes to knowing how to pleasure a woman and turn her on, men think about how they like being turned on, and then apply it to a woman.

But the thing is, women are different.

If we had penises, sure, then we would get turned on by dick pics and text messages that start with, “hey.” However, that’s not the case, fellas. You need to think like a woman if you want to turn her on. That means turning her mind on as much as her body.

[Read: How to turn a girl on and excite her mind]

What do women like while making love?

That’s a very loaded and wide-ranging question! As we’ve just mentioned, everyone is different but we can be quite general here and give you a few ideas on what to think about.

Most men, not all but most, are visual creatures. They’re turned on by what they see and that usually does the trick. However, most women are different. They need to be turned on mentally and emotionally before they start to feel the tingling of physical pleasure too.

A woman needs to feel safe and secure with her partner to really let go and focus on enjoyment. Remember, not all women find it easy to reach orgasm every single time and some never manage it. You’ve no chance of helping her reach the big O if you don’t make her feel at ease and comfortable with you. [Read: Foreplay done right – The art of really turning her on]

That doesn’t mean you need to make everything super-romantic all the time, because some women like spontaneous sex too!

But, you do need to go beyond the visual. You need to get her imagination firing and you need to talk to her in a way that makes her think sexy thoughts, rather than just see it in front of her. [Read: How to talk dirty to a girl and make her wet with your words]

If you’re not sure how to do all of the above, let’s check out a few moves to help you learn how to pleasure a woman. [Read: How to turn a girl on with your touch and make her melt into you]

How to pleasure a woman – 19 moves that appeal to almost all women

Before you read any further, let’s reiterate this once more – you should know that every woman is different. However, there are general acts that will turn most women on and help them reach the highs of pleasure.

So, if you try something from this list and it isn’t doing the trick, keep moving forward and try something else. You’ll hit the spot, it just may take a couple of tries with a new partner.

If you pay attention, this will be a breeze. Here’s how to pleasure a woman. [Read: 8 crucial moves you need to do to turn your girl on]

1. Be yourself in bed

We know you want to look like a man in bed, and trust us, you are. But don’t force it. Don’t focus on trying to impress her, but instead just focus on the moment.

If you’re spending too much time trying to impress her, either with your acrobatics or by flexing and skulking around the bed, then you move the attention away from pleasuring her and turn it into an ego thing. It’s sex, not a competition. [Read: How to seduce a woman and make her want to get in bed with you]

2. Don’t play the guessing game

Sure, you can spend some time figuring out what she’s into – nibbling her earlobes, licking her neck – that’s all fine and dandy.

But if you’re not getting a response, then just ask her straight up what turns her on. That way, you cut through all the crap and can focus on pleasing her the way she wants to be pleased.

3. Take it up a notch with plenty of foreplay

Focus the majority of your time on foreplay. The sex is going to happen eventually, but what really turns women on is foreplay.

We love kissing, touching, licking, and biting. It’s sensual and it gets us going. Many men jump past this, but it’s crucial if you want the sex to be passionate and, well, wet. [Read: What is foreplay? 17 sexy foreplay moves to get anyone hot and horny]

4. Don’t rush!

If you want to know how to pleasure a woman, for God’s sake, take your time. There’s really no need to rush, unless you’re having a quickie. So, just enjoy the moment.

Learn your partner’s body and just have fun exploring it. You’re already naked with them, so you might as well take it all in. [Read: How to arouse a woman – 15 moves that work anywhere, anytime, men!]

5. Switch up the routine

Don’t be shy trying out new things. In fact, we appreciate it when you want to try new things. Sometimes, it won’t work, but the point is that you’re not stuck in the 1,2,3 sex routine which makes us pass out midway through sex.

If you want to learn how to pleasure a woman, you need to surprise her and regularly bring out new things to try!

6. Don’t focus on just one body part

Men love breasts and vaginas. We completely understand that. However, women have so many erogenous zones that get ignored in the meantime.

Not every woman gets turned on when you play with their breasts. Instead, they may be turned on when you lick or kiss their neck instead. You need to explore this and of course, the only way to know what works for her is to ask her. [Read: The most powerful erogenous zones for women that drive them wild in bed]

7. Know what hits the G-spot

We all have a G-spot. However, for men and women, it’s slightly different. The best position to reach her G-spot is doggy style. While doing doggy, put your hand on her clitoris and rub it… that’ll get her going. [Read: How to hit a girl’s g-spot and make any girl squirm with horniness]

8. Don’t forget about kissing

We know it’s all hot and sweaty and you’re focusing on having sex, but kissing is very much a part of it. Women love kissing during sex because it makes us feel more connected and wanted by our partners. So, kiss, kiss, kiss.

9. Go down on her

Dear God, just do it… if you REALLY want to know how to pleasure a woman. We go down on you guys, so we’re not sure what the problem is. We even swallow your cum, so, get over it.

Some men have such a phobia of eating pussy, but it gives us so much pleasure. We recommend the “figure 8” technique – it’s pretty self-explanatory. [Read: How to eat pussy – 18 moves between her legs that’ll blow her mind]

10. Be slightly aggressive

Women love men who take what they want. So, be a little aggressive. If you’re worried about how aggressive you are, pull her hair lightly or smack her ass. She’ll let you know if she wants more or less.

So, just test her comfort level and how much aggression turns her on.

11. Understand the female anatomy

If you want to go down on her, you best know where the clitoris is. Or else you’ll be doing, well, we don’t know what you’ll be doing down there, and neither will she. Google it, watch some porn, whatever you have to do to educate yourself – just do it. [Read: The female anatomy and the best ways to make a girl squirt in bed]

12. Don’t forget the anus – but tread carefully

People are so uncomfortable about the anus, however, that’s where hundreds of nerve endings are, so you should know this, it feels good to have somebody down there.

As long as they’re clean, you should have no problem with exploring that part of the body. However, not all women are happy with that part of their body being touched, let alone anything else, so you need to learn how she feels about this first.

You could ask her, that’s always the best route. However, simply touching her ass and listening to her reaction should also give you an idea of how she feels about this part of her body. [Read: How to eat ass – The rimming checklist to eating booty like a boss]

13. Start turning her on way before the bedroom

Don’t just wait until the music turns on and the lights dim down for you to start turning her on. Man, start that way in advance.

Get the dirty texts going while she’s at work, grab her ass while she’s walking through the front door. Women need some time to get turned on, so get her worked up earlier in the day.

You can easily send a few sexts while she’s at work or doing whatever it is she’s doing during the day. It will get her imagination firing and that’s what you need when learning how to pleasure a woman. [Read: How to get a girl horny and wet just by sitting next to her]

14. Compliment her

We want to feel desired. Obviously, everyone wants to feel desired. It’s what we all strive for. So, while having sex with her, compliment her.

Now, don’t overdo it, we can tell when it becomes disingenuous. But in that moment, if you think she looks beautiful, say it. Just don’t go down the cheesy route – we don’t need cringeworthy lines.

15. Exercise

If you’re worried about your stamina, then start working out. Get that blood pumping and your cardiovascular system going so that you don’t have that fear when it’s time to have sex. You need to take care of yourself. Plus, women get turned on when they see a sweaty guy at the gym.

16. Don’t focus on your orgasm

Okay, sex is about you, but it’s also about her. So, don’t focus so much on your dick. So many guys just focus on pleasing themselves, and in the meantime, they totally ignore the woman’s needs.

It’s not always about you, so share the pleasure. If anything, the ability to make her feel great is a reflection of your prowess! [Read: How to make a woman orgasm – 15 secrets to master the art]

17. Try some dirty talk

Remember when we said that you need to get her imagination going and turn her mind on? That means getting her hot before you even touch her.

Try some dirty talk and see how she responds. Some women feel a little awkward going this, but if you move into it slowly, you may find that it drives her crazy with desire. [Read: 35 dirty things to say to a girl to leave her wet with desire]

18. Ask her about her fantasies

For many women, simply talking about their fantasies is a huge turn on and that can translate to major fireworks in the bedroom.

Ask her what her fantasies are and whether she’d ever want to try them. Be sure to share yours too. You’ll both be halfway to the bedroom before the conversation is over! [Read: 10 sexy conversation starters that’ll make anyone extremely horny]

19. Listen to what she wants

We talked about asking her what she wants in bed, but you also have to be sure to listen. If you want to learn how to pleasure a woman, you need to listen to her and respond.

Don’t just ask to tick a box, make sure you listen and do what she asks, as long as it’s something you’re comfortable with. When a guy takes the time to listen, it tells her that he wants her to feel good and there’s nothing sexier than that. [Read: 18 sex tips for men to make her crave more]

The secrets to pleasuring a woman

Learning how to pleasure a woman isn’t that difficult. It’s really about respect and care for the woman you’re with, and that’s something you should be doing anyway!

By focusing your attention on her, the sex you have will be better for both of you. Instead of just thinking of penetration or finishing the deed as the moment of pleasure, focus on enjoying every inch of her body instead.

Remember that not all women find it easy to orgasm, not as most men do. Understand that fact and do what you can to help her.

By seeing things through her eyes, you’ll not only give her the best time possible, but you’ll enjoy it ten times more too.

[Read: Sex god secrets – How to make a girl cum every single time]

So now that you know how to pleasure a woman and what turns them on, it’s time that you start putting these tips to use. The sooner you start, the better.