I Don’t Trust My Boyfriend: 20 Reasons Why & the Fastest Fixes

Trust is the foundation for all relationships. So if you keep thinking, I don’t trust my boyfriend, there might be a bigger issue that needs to be faced.

When it comes to a healthy relationship, there has to be trust. You can’t live your life with someone when you don’t trust what they’re doing. If you’re used to saying all the time, “I don’t trust my boyfriend,” you need to figure out what about him you really don’t trust. Did he betray you once before? Is he hiding something?

Without trust in the relationship, everything will eventually fall apart and break. That’s usually how relationships work. Without trust, there’s bound to be a lack of respect and love.

When one of you is always freaking out and panicking over what the other is doing, it’s bad for both parties involved. Most often, there’s a reason why you don’t trust him, and you’re not just overthinking things.

[Read: How to get over trust issues in your relationship and move forward]

Why trust is crucial in a relationship

There’s a saying that trust is like glass – once it breaks, it’s tricky to get it back to the way it was. When you have trust in the relationship, you have almost everything you need for the relationship to work.

It’s because you trust they won’t intentionally hurt you, or you trust they’ll always have your back, or even trust they’ll always meet you halfway. This is why trust, respect, and love are intertwined with one another. So you can expect that when trust is broken, relationships and even marriages crumble and fall apart.

If you constantly doubt their intentions and their loyalty to you, that’s when problems start to occur. [Read: 11 clear signs you can’t trust the guy you’re dating]

The building blocks of a healthy relationship

Nobody wants to be in a shitty relationship. We all want happiness. And that means we all want to be in a healthy relationship that only brings value to our lives. In order to do that, we need to focus on the building blocks. Too many people make the excuse that if it’s “meant to be,” it will be.

The truth is, you have to work at relationships. Even if you love someone, you still need to put forth the effort. That’s why the building blocks of a healthy relationship are trust, communication, effort, and love.

Without even just one of these, your relationship is doomed to fall apart. These four aspects comprise a healthy relationship, which is also what makes relationships such hard work.

[Read: 30 must-follow relationship rules and tips for a happy romance]

I don’t trust my boyfriend – What to do and why you need to fix it

Once trust is lost, it’s very hard to get back. The best thing you can do in order to maintain that trust is to prevent losing it in the first place. And that means both people have to be willing to commit and be faithful in all ways.

If you’ve recently had an issue in your relationship that caused you to lose trust, you’ll need to repair that problem ASAP. If you want to start trusting your boyfriend again, these are all the reasons you need to fix it and the ways you can do just that. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it last]

Why you need to rebuild the trust

Trust is crucial in a relationship. Well, one of the most important things, as we’ve emphasized earlier. Without it, you’ll open your relationship to a can of worms.

1. When you can’t trust him, you can’t ever fully be yourself

There’s always a part of you holding back. When someone loses your trust, you can’t let go and be yourself because you’ve been hurt. And that’s understandable. So if you keep thinking, I don’t trust my boyfriend, you can’t just get used to that feeling.

Whatever trust issues you’re feeling, you need to deal with them to make your relationship work. Otherwise, there’s always going to be a wall in your relationship. [Read: How self-respect can affect your relationship]

2. You’ll never be happy when he isn’t right next to you

This is a huge reason to fix your trust with your boyfriend. Because whenever he’s not around, you’ll be worried. You’re always suspicious that if you’re not seeing him or not around him, he’s always sneaking around doing something or someone.

You can’t continue your relationship like this, and it’s the primary example of why trust is so important. This is no way to live or be in a relationship. [Read: What to do about that nagging cheating suspicion]

3. You won’t be able to live your life

You’ll have a hard time going out and being with friends while your boyfriend isn’t with you. When you don’t trust him, you’ll be more concerned with what he’s doing and not so much about what you’re doing.

You’ll stop living your life. No matter how much you don’t trust him, you can’t shape your life around your trust issues. That’s no way to live life or be in a relationship. [Read: How to be happy in life and live it to the fullest]

4. You’ll lose out on fun while worrying

When you can’t trust your boyfriend and you’re at a party or supposed to be having fun when he’s not there, it won’t be. You’ll be thinking about what he’s doing.

This is why it’s so important to face your trust issues if you find yourself constantly thinking, I don’t trust my boyfriend. It’s getting in the way of you living your best life. [Read: Relationship anxiety – 20 mistakes you need to stop making]

5. The stress will be unhealthy

Let’s be real, when you don’t trust someone, you stress about them. That stress can affect many things in your life. You’ll lose sleep, you could gain weight, and your job or schooling could suffer.

If you’re stressed because of your boyfriend, guess what? This affects other significant areas of your life as well. [Read: 10 signs stress is ruining your relationship and how to fix it]

How to trust your boyfriend again

Trusting someone is easier said than done, but it’s necessary if you want to fix your relationship and don’t want to break up with him within the next few months.

Here’s everything you need to know about trusting your boyfriend again.

1. Get to the bottom of the issue

You need to figure out what the hell is going on. Why don’t you trust him? If there was something he did, you need to get to the bottom of it. There’s obviously something going on for you to conclude, “I don’t trust my boyfriend.”

Surely, if this is the case, there’s a more significant issue at hand. So you need to know exactly what’s triggering your trust issues. [Read: How to effectively communicate in a relationship]

2. Ask yourself if their wrongdoing is forgivable

If they did do something wrong, you have to do some thinking on your own. Is what they did something you can forgive? Can you really overcome it in your relationship?

You’re the only person who can answer this, so be honest with yourself wholeheartedly. If it’s unforgivable, you have some serious thinking to do about your relationship as a whole. [Read: Should you forgive and forget? 15 guidelines to follow to do the right thing]

3. Get the opinions of others

When it comes to those we love, we don’t always think clearly. That’s why, in order to trust your boyfriend again, you should get the opinions of your friends. There’s a reason why the saying “love is blind” is so popular, and that’s because, in reality, love can make you metaphorically blind.

You love them so much that you’re so blinded to what others clearly see. So it can really help to have an external perspective in trusting your boyfriend again.

4. Have an honest discussion about your trust issues

Talk to your partner. It can be difficult to open up and be vulnerable, but you have to. Tell him you don’t trust him. That’s the most mature thing you can do to fix your problem immediately. If you keep thinking, I don’t trust my boyfriend, the only way to stop those thoughts is to talk to him.

Communication is vital in a relationship, after all. Let him know what’s going on in your head so he can help fix things. [Read: How to open up to someone you’re dating when you’re scared]

5. See if he’s willing to help

This is a major thing you have to figure out if you want to fix your trust issues. Trust is a two-way street. It takes both people working together in order to have it.

If you have trust issues in your relationship, it’s essential to see if he’s willing to help you through them. That’s what a relationship is for, right? So before you dismiss him, try opening up first. It could do your relationship a lot of good!

6. Go to couples counseling

Many people shy away from couples counseling because they feel ashamed. But you don’t have to feel that way. It doesn’t make your relationship desperate or broken. Instead, it makes both of you strong for asking for help. It also shows you love one another so much you’re willing to seek help from counseling.

If having someone else know your situation and helping the two of you communicate will make you trust him again, it’s worth it. [Read: Relationship therapy and 25 clues to know if it can help you]

7. Take it day by day

If you don’t trust your boyfriend, don’t expect your trust issues to immediately get better and recover overnight. Take things day by day and realize that it’s a long process. The thing about trust is that it can be lost in an instant, but it takes time to bring back.

Trust is as fragile as glass, so you can’t rush the process. You need to take it day by day until you’re not thinking, I don’t trust my boyfriend anymore.

8. Communicate even more

Remember what we said about communication? If you want to build trust in your relationship, this is something you need to work on. Tell him if you’re feeling like you can’t trust him in a particular circumstance. Make sure he knows when you feel uncomfortable with something he’s doing.

This can help both of you realize what you need from each other. Practice being open with one another. [Read: How to get your partner to start communicating with you]

9. Set new expectations and stick with them

Make your standards clear. If your boyfriend messed up and you need something from him in order to trust him again, tell him. You have to set new expectations and stick to them in order to trust him again.

If your boyfriend knows your standards and expectations in building trust, then he knows which steps to take to avoid hurting you again. This also goes for setting boundaries for both of you to avoid crossing any lines. [Read: How to manage your expectations in a relationship]

10. Learn when to let go

Sometimes trust can’t be rebuilt. No matter how hard you try, it can be lost forever. That’s why you have to learn when enough is enough. If trust could always be rebuilt, then relationships and marriages would never fall apart.

Unfortunately, that’s not how things work. Sometimes, the more you try rebuilding trust, the more you end up hurting yourself. [Read: How to get over trust issues in your relationship]

11. Release anger

If you keep thinking, I don’t trust my boyfriend, you’ll never let go of these thoughts if you don’t release your anger. This emotion, along with rage and resentment, are all powerful emotions that will make you feel stuck in your relationship.

So in other words, anger will do the opposite of making you trust in your boyfriend again. If you want your relationship to feel okay again, release the anger in your heart. It’s easier said than done, we know, but it’s necessary. [Read: How to stop being angry – Free your mind and stop hurting yourself]

12. Forgive them and yourself

If you want to trust your boyfriend again, you have to find a way to forgive both him and yourself. Forgive him for whatever it is he did to break your trust, but also forgive yourself for holding on to so much anger and for not knowing any better.

When you forgive, it makes way for peace and calmness in your heart. Forgiveness is really a crucial part of trusting your boyfriend again, no matter how impossible it feels at first. [Read: How to forgive yourself & free yourself of the weight of guilt]

13. Want it to work

If you keep thinking, I don’t trust my boyfriend, you can’t rebuild trust if you don’t want things to work again. If your boyfriend is trying his best and you keep shutting him down and dismissing his efforts, did you ever think that maybe subconsciously, you don’t want things to work anymore?

You might not realize it, but maybe you’ve given up trusting him again. So the key to trust is wanting to rebuild it. [Read: How to make a relationship work – 34 ways to a stronger bond]

14. Be self-aware

Self-awareness really is easier said than done, and every self-improvement book out there will tell you this. But if you want to trust your boyfriend again, practice self-awareness.

This means being aware of your triggers and surroundings whenever the thought of I don’t trust my boyfriend comes up. This can also help you realize which things make you doubt his trust.

15. Check internally

Lastly, if you still have trust issues and can’t find a single problem, maybe it’s because of an internal issue. Maybe your ex cheated on you, or maybe it’s because of your childhood. Maybe it’s a matter of you projecting your trust and abandonment issues on your relationship when there was nothing wrong, to begin with.

You’re scared, and we get that. But you can’t stop trusting him just because of the potential of getting hurt. Love doesn’t work that way.

[Read: Why does love hurt when it goes bad? The truth you need to hear]

So, how do you trust your boyfriend?

It’s easier said than done, but you can learn to trust your boyfriend again by practicing open communication and transparency with him.

Remember that trust is highly vital and without it, a relationship can’t function properly.

Learning to trust someone again will always be challenging. If you’re saying, “I don’t trust my boyfriend,” all the time, you need to do something about this ASAP.