Attention Whore: 16 Signs You’re an Insufferable Attention Seeker

Do you fear that you or someone else is being an attention whore? Keep reading to know what it means to be one and what the real signs are.

There’s an attention whore in all of us. But in almost all of us, it’s just a small part of who we are. Most of us can live without extensive attention from the world, and we can get along just fine as long as we have a few friends we can rely on. However, some people thrive on attention and always want to get the spotlight in every situation.

[Read: Signs you’re making an attention seeker your priority when you’re only an option in her life]

Who is an attention whore?

An attention whore is anyone obsessed with getting attention from everyone, and they’ll do whatever it takes to get their desired attention. 

We’ve all seen thirst traps that scream “I want attention!”

On the other hand, do you have a friend who puts up a new selfie on social media with her boobs almost sticking out “unintentionally,” of course! And every now and then, she posts ridiculous things like “Hit like if you think I’m sexy” or “OMG, I look so friggin’ ugly!”

And then, this friend waits a while until all other friends start giving her attention online and telling her she’s really pretty and sexy or that she doesn’t have to change a thing?

This is one prime example of an attention whore. It doesn’t really matter whether they’re aware of what they’re doing or not.

At the end of the day, they want to steal and grab attention from others. There are other milder kinds of attention whores too. And there’s a huge chance that you know one of them already.

Sometimes, you have an attention whore as a friend. And at other times, you’re an attention whore yourself, and you wouldn’t even know it. *because the signs can be subtle sometimes!* 

[Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and don’t even know it!]

Types of attention whores

All of us know of at least one attention whore, be it the mild or the in-your-face kind. If you don’t know even one attention whore in your group of friends *shudder*, you’re probably that annoying attention seeker and don’t even realize it!

Now that we know what an attention whore is, let’s get to the kind of attention whores. There are two kinds of attention whores.

One, the one who really needs attention because they’re lonely.

And the second kind, the ones who just need attention.

The first kind is mildly acceptable *and sad if you think about it*. They seek attention because they’re lonely and just want the company of others. On the other hand, the second kind is just purely self-absorbed and constantly wants the world to revolve around them.

It’s the second kind that’s a pain in the rear, the kind who is whoring for attention because they thrive in it. [Read: What is a thirsty girl? All the signs to know if a girl is parched and desperate!]

Why is it wrong to be an attention whore?

If you’re someone who loves attention and thinks no harm can ever come off it, well, you’d obviously wonder what’s wrong with it. But in reality, being a desperate attention whore can do more damage than good to you. Unless you’re earning money off your attention-seeking ways on a reality show or on social media, it won’t help you in any way.

Being an attention whore, you’d hurt too many friends that truly care, because you’d never really be close to any of your friends. Without realizing it, you’d find yourself using your trustworthy friends and disposing of them when you don’t need them in your life. You pretend like everyone is your best friend, and just to win over a new friend, you usually ignore an older friend who stood by you when you had no friends or support.

You’d hurt and piss off too many innocent and loving friends along the way, and eventually hurt yourself because the only people who’d stand by you would be other fake people and attention seekers who think just like you, and display fake affection to win people over, just like you.

And even if you do realize you’re wrong eventually and try to go back to your true friends who put up with you each time you treated them like trash, it may be too late because they probably don’t trust you anymore.

After all, nobody likes being around an attention whore because they can come off as selfish, draining, exhausting, and to some extreme, even toxic and manipulative. [Read: 20 signs of a toxic friend to avoid that rotten one immediately]

Why does someone become an attention whore?

If you’re the first kind of attention whore, the one that seeks attention because you’re lonely, it could be because of a rough childhood, something terrible in the past, or simply lacking friends and company. You compensate for that loneliness by seeking attention in all the wrong ways.

However, if you’re the second kind wherein you do it purely for attention and drama, there are many factors to consider.

You may never have thought of yourself as an attention whore, and what started off as Instagrandstanding or a thirst trap picture may have now turned into an addiction. You got your attention, you enjoyed it, it gave you a high like nothing else, and now you want more.

While there’s nothing wrong with seeking attention in today’s social-media-obsessed world, it’s a whole different story when attention is the only thing that makes you feel valid. You’re relying on the fickle opinions of others to make or break your day. And that’s a dangerous thing if you think about it.

[Read: What makes someone an attention seeker and how to read these traits]

The biggest signs you’re an attention whore

Attention whoring is a way of life. Even if you are one, you may never realize it and you may assume everyone else is jealous of you because you’re getting the attention of the world and you’re so popular.

But if you find yourself losing a lot of old friends fast, and if you feel hurt when someone you meet for the first time doesn’t like you, ask yourself if you’re relying too much on the image you’re portraying to the world and less on who you really are, to define yourself. The ego of an attention whore is huge, and also extremely fragile.

And especially with the advent of social sites, the urge to become famous could cloud your rational judgment, and the fear of losing all those new followers could scare you to death.

So do you want to find out if you’re an attention whore? Use these signs to find out if your mind is already stepping into the glamorous and fickle world of attention whoring.

1. Cryptic status updates

You frequently post obscure posts, stories, or updates on social media, knowing fully well that most of your followers won’t know what you mean or what you’re trying to say. And yet you pretend like it wasn’t meant for everyone, or worse, you wait until loads of people start asking you what you meant before you explain yourself.

What do we mean by this? Think of status updates and posts like “Can’t wait for tomorrow…” or “That was so much fun *wink*”. That makes no sense to anyone, and that’s exactly what you want. You want people to ask you more, so you can stay on their minds!

2. Problem solving

You intentionally flaunt your problems and issues to everyone, be it scars or love triangles. You share your issues with online friends you barely know even though you can’t get any real help there.

Self-pity? Playing the victim? These are your favorite tactics to use to get people to notice you. You love playing the victim, and you shamelessly crave sympathy.

3. Your new look

You upload new photos and stories 24/7, letting people know every single thing you’re doing, including hanging out in the toilet! Facebook, Instagram, and maybe even Twitter are all your favorite platforms, and you can’t imagine life without them. The adrenalin rush of posting a new picture and waiting for the likes and comments to flow in – to you – it’s a high nothing can match!

4. The wannabe braggart

You brag about things constantly when it’s not really such a big deal. The world doesn’t give a rat’s rear end, you know? People see right through you and most often than not, they end up ignoring you and your need for attention.

5. The group photo

You don’t realize it, but you always claw your way to stand in front of the group every time someone tries to take a picture of the group.

if you’re doing this, don’t be surprised if your close friends don’t want to click any group photos when you’re around. The way you keep photobombing yourself at the front of every photo indicates you have attention issues.

6. The sore loser

You just can’t accept it if a guy hits on your friend instead of you when the two of you go out. You think the guy’s a loser, because you’re so much better, and it’s his loss he can’t see that!

Your ego and need for attention are getting in the way of being a good friend, and it’s evident with your frustration and tantrums. [Read: 10 ways to stop being jealous of someone else’s success or achievement]

7. VIP treatment

You want all the attention when you go to a new place. If your friends get more attention than you, you think the place sucks. But if the manager or the chef speaks a lot more to you, you fall in love with the place even if the food sucks.

Really, your mood is dependent on people giving you attention, which makes you an evident attention whore.

8. The real life

Even if it’s your best friend’s birthday and all of you are dining out or having a party, you try your best to be the life of the party and hog the attention with your antics.

And if someone brings this to your attention, you get angry *because you’re only trying to ensure that everyone has a good time*. You don’t have it in you to be selfless even on your best friend’s birthday because you want to make it all about you. *bad friend alert!* [Read: Why do narcissists ignore texts and do the selfish things they do?]

9. You’re nice to everyone

Not because you love all people or you’re a politician, but because you want everyone you meet to love you and crave your attention! You go out of your way to be really nice to people you meet for the first time, and end up taking all the good friends who know you for granted. [Read: Signs of bad friends and circumstances when you need to end a bad friendship]

10. The temperamental you

Your mood swings change constantly. You could be in a heated argument with your best friend or your sister, but if a new friend walks past you or calls you over the phone, you can change your attitude almost instantly and pretend to be happy and really accomodating while talking to them.

As an attention whore, your mood is highly dependent on your need to be noticed and liked. You can instantly switch from rude to nice, depending on where you are, and whose attention you want.

11. The center of the world

This is a pretty accurate definition of what an attention whore is. Everything and everyone should revolve around them and nobody else. You feel really miserable if you aren’t the center of attention with your friends.

And if two friends of yours make plans about going out or doing something without telling you about it, you feel deeply hurt.

12. You’re important

Your problems and moments of happiness should be shared by all your friends. If you break up or get into a new relationship, all your friends have to feel your pleasure or pain, or you believe they’re terrible friends.

You genuinely believe good friends are only those who cater to your every whim and fancy, even if you have no intention of ever returning the favor to them. [Read: Are you a user? 15 uncomfortable facts to help you face the truth]

13. You white lie all the time

You make up stories about private jets, yachts, boyfriends, vacations, or celebrity run-ins and other grand fantasies every now and then just to appear more interesting than everyone else. You constantly have the urge to feel superior to all your friends.

Even if these stories aren’t real, you don’t care as long as it draws attention to you and makes you appear cooler or more attractive. [Read: How to stop lying and feel more comfortable telling the truth]

14. Fishing for compliments

You need others to tell you that you look good to actually feel good about yourself. You work out, strap on a revealing dress, or dab yourself with makeup, click a picture and post it on social media with the line, “Gawd, I look so ugly in this pic….”

If there’s anything attention whores are known for, it’s fishing for compliments. They can’t help it; this is who they are and what they do.

15. The unwanted attention

You talk about all the guys that give you so much attention, and how you so totally hate it. But surprisingly, you don’t ignore those guys either. You secretly love it because they give you all the attention in the world but you never admit this to your friends.

Sometimes, you even lead a lot of people on, or make flirty eye contact with literally everyone on the street just to tell yourself that you’re desirable and “everyone wants you”!

16. You ignore your friends

You totally ignore someone who cares for you, and take them for granted, be it a friend or a crush that’s actually really nice. And when no one’s around to keep you company or when you feel bored and alone, you call these friends and try to win back their attention.

This is also why you lose friends as fast as flies. You take them for granted, ignore them, and come running back when you require an attention boost. [Read: How to stop a selfish person from hurting you]

How do you stop being an attention whore?

If you resonate with these signs and think you are one, how do you change your actions? You’re on the right track with the fact that you’ve admitted you’re an attention whore to yourself, so that’s progress! However, that’s not enough. You need to have the self-awareness to change.

If loneliness is the cause of your attention seeking-behavior, then dealing with your loneliness is the best way. Find peace with your loneliness and accept that being alone and feeling lonely are two different things.

Of course, you can find new friends and seek new connections, but avoid broadcasting your loneliness in the form of attention-seeking behavior.

On the other hand, if the reason you choose to be an attention whore is because you generally thrive on attention, this takes a lot more awareness to change.

You’ll stop being an attention whore only if you practice having empathy, consideration, and letting go of the need to be the center of attention everywhere. At the end of the day, your attention-seeking ways are pointless if you don’t have real friends by your side. We’re talking about the ride-or-die kind of friends, not the type that worships your every need.

[Read: 14 signs of attention-seeking behavior that masks their insecurity]

So, are you an attention whore?

Being an attention whore could give you a lot of happiness this moment, but you need to remember that this burst of happiness is only momentary for as long as the fifteen minutes of fame lasts.

Do you think you have a friend who’s an attention whore? Or do you think you have an attention whore in you? These signs will definitely draw out the people pleaser in you, and help you change yourself for the better.

If you like being an attention whore in a fake world, be so at your own risk. Just prepare yourself to lose everyone in your life because they’re simply too drained to be around you.