How to Know if a Kiss Meant Something Real: 16 Ways it isn’t a Fling

It’s crucial to learn how to know if a kiss meant something real. Or else, it’s easy to mistake that kiss for something else. Is it real or is it nothing?

It’s important to learn how to know if a kiss meant something real. When you’re dating or you really like someone, you can easily mistake a kiss for something else.

Is it a friendly kiss? Are they trying to say they like you? Is it a kiss out of boredom? It is affection? Lust?

It’s not always easy to spot the signs of what a kiss meant. Sometimes a kiss is just a silly, playful thing between friends, and sometimes it’s so much more.

After all, a kiss can have so many different meanings. For all you know, they could be telling you they want to get together, but you ignored the signs altogether.

[Read: How to tell if they like kissing you and are turned on by your kiss]

It’s never safe to assume that all kisses mean something more

To a lot of us, kisses are really important as they’re meaningful and intimate. It’s hard to kiss someone and not assume it meant just as much to them. But the truth is, some people don’t see kisses in the same way.

For instance, you might only kiss people you desire and feel passionately connected with, but that doesn’t mean others feel the same way. Some people just like to have fun and their way of fun is kissing others. This may sound absurd and crazy, but it’s the truth.

Kisses can be casual, passionate, or friendly. It’s important to remember this going into things so you don’t just assume everyone who kisses you wants to fall in love with you, or have babies with you. [Read: The perfect first kiss – 22 tips to make it oh-so-amazing!]

Why is it important to know what a kiss means?

By determining how to know if a kiss meant something real, you get a sense of what their intentions are. Actions always speak louder than words so knowing the meaning behind a kiss will help you instantly understand if they feel something for you, or it’s just a casual kiss for them.

The last thing you’d want is to mistake a fling kiss for something else entirely. Or, you could even mistake a kiss with your crush for something more *but they just don’t feel that way!*

Learning how to know if a kiss meant something real will save you from a lot of embarrassment and will be incredibly beneficial for your dating life.

How to know if a kiss meant something real and romantic

You have to be able to take a step back and look at the situation from afar if you really want to figure out if a kiss meant something more. These are some things to look at when deciding if a kiss was more than just your lips touching theirs.

1. You felt like it did

You can’t take this one too seriously but at the same time, listen to your gut. Remove emotions out of the picture and assess if you feel in your gut whether the kiss was genuine. Your instincts can tell you a lot more than you might think.

Don’t think about how much you want that kiss to mean something or your fears. Just focus on what your gut is telling you. [Read: 10 things to do if you catch feelings for someone you don’t want to]

2. It was slow

The speed of a kiss really tells you a lot about their intentions. A slow, soft kiss is full of affection and passion, and it has less to do with wanting something sexual. It means they were clearly enjoying the moment, and wanted to linger.

You’ll see a lot of emotionless kisses that are filled with urgency, which is why it’s rare for slow kisses to not be genuine. Slow kisses are usually passionate – remember this next time you kiss someone for the first time.

If you want to know for sure how to know if a kiss meant something real, watch out for that slow kiss. [Read: 15 kissing techniques for that slow, heartbeat-skipping kiss]

3. They weren’t intoxicated

Okay, we’ve all had those drunk moments where the lines get blurred because you’re intoxicated. It’s pretty well understood that people get more bold and touchy-feely when they’re been drinking and partying.

It’s why people kiss often at parties where alcohol is involved. But if both of you were sober or almost sober, it could mean something more than just drunk kiss. [Read: Drunk kiss dilemma – So you kissed someone, what should you do next?]

4. You both got quiet after

If you didn’t go about your night like normal afterward, it meant something more. It means you’re both processing the kiss and what just happened. You don’t act that way if there are no feelings involved.

If it was a casual kiss, neither of you would even think of processing feelings, and the conversations would just flow, and their behavior would just be casual.

5. Things feel different

Your dynamic is just different. You can’t really explain it, but you are now treating each other differently after having kissed. Maybe they’re more careful around you or they smile at you more but whatever it is, there’s definitely something different.

If it was meaningless, nothing should change. There’s an unspoken something between the two of you and you just can’t pinpoint what it is.

6. They’re acting more caring toward you

If you notice a shift in their behavior specifically, it could be good news if you want them to like you.

As we’ve mentioned in the point above, if they’re more caring after the kiss, then the kiss was heartfelt and genuine. After the kiss, they might be more caring toward you and more concerned with your everyday life. [Read: 18 very sure signs a friend likes you romantically even if they pretend not to]

7. You want to do it again

Ultimately, a kiss that means something is one you want to repeat over and over again. Really, why wouldn’t you want to kiss them again especially if feelings were involved?

If their lips come to mind and you find yourself replaying the kiss over and over again, it could be a sign of something bigger between you two. In determining how to know if a kiss meant something real, pay attention to how you feel after the kiss.

Are you longing for it? Or, is it something you don’t really care about if it happens again? [Read: 13 sultry signs someone wants to kiss you]

8. You’re looking at them as a significant other

Instead of seeing them as a friend, like before, you’re now looking at them as someone you could actually date and be with romantically. It’s as if you see them in a different light and all you see is the potential of dating or being together.

9. You wonder what it’d be like to date

You really shouldn’t even be thinking about this if there was nothing genuine about the kiss. The fact that it felt so real that you can’t help thinking of romantic possibilities says a lot, and chances are, the kiss meant something real and you feel it.

The more you imagine a life dating them, the more the feelings build. You should also watch how long these thoughts stay. If they go away within a few days, maybe it wasn’t so genuine after all.

10. You don’t tell anyone

If a kiss really didn’t mean anything, you wouldn’t really care if people knew about it. This is also why it’s easier to tell people about your meaningless flings rather than those you have genuine feelings for.

In determining how to know if a kiss meant something real, watch your behavior about the kiss. When you both don’t go around telling people it happened, it’s a sign you want to preserve the moment. You don’t want other people ruining it with questions and accusations. [Read: 15 secrets to make your first kiss more memorable]

11. Things are a little awkward between you two

When feelings surface, it can get a little awkward. You both might not know what to do or how to behave and that can make you both act weird around each other.

If you look back to that first kiss with your crush or partner years ago, notice how after that first kiss, it can feel a little awkward *but in a good way!*. It’s the kind of awkwardness that’s mixed with a lot of feelings. If you feel like things are a little uncomfortable, there might be an elephant in the room.

12. They say it does

There’s nothing more obvious than a confession coming from them! If they come to you confessing that they really like you, the kiss obviously meant something.

There’s really nothing to question here. If you’re wondering how to know if a kiss meant something real, wait for a moment when they tell you themselves how much it meant to them. [Read: How to decipher the true meaning of these 15 types of kisses]

13. You feel the tension when you’re near them

Sparks? Chemistry? Is it suddenly getting hot in here? These are the thoughts you can’t help having when finding out if the kiss actually meant something.

If you feel the tension in the air, chances are, you’re not just imagining it. In fact, they’re probably feeling it too! If this isn’t evidence of a meaningful kiss, we don’t know what else to tell you. [Read: 20 strong signs of sexual tension to know if you make each other horny]

14. It’s “the kiss”

Oh come on, you know what we’re talking about. It’s the type of kiss that leaves you absolutely breathless, your heart racing, and you wanting more. The type you think you’ll only experience in movies, right until it happens to you.

It’s impossible to fake this type of kiss without actually having feelings for one another. If there’s sparks and passion, it’s definitely a heartfelt one. [Read: The perfect first kiss: 22 tips to make it oh-so-amazing!]

15. They engage in eye contact

Eye contact is more intimate than people give credit for. In determining how to know if a kiss meant something real, watch if they engage in eye contact before the actual kiss.

Do they look into your eyes first? Maybe they give you that passionate stare before they grab and kiss you? This is definitely not a kiss that’s casual and meaningless. If it was, then there shouldn’t be intense eye contact involved.

16. You’re smiling between kisses

If you’re both smiling in between kisses, you’re doomed! *again, it’s a good thing!* This just means the kiss was so heartfelt that you can’t help but smile. Wouldn’t you want to smile if you’re kissing and being kissed with emotions?

It’s such an underrated thing, but this is one of the best ways to know if a kiss meant something real.

[Read: How to kiss passionately and romantically]

So, how to know if a kiss meant something real?

You can figure out if a kiss is real based on what you feel and their actions during a kiss. Is the kiss slow? Do they look at you first? Is there obvious tension in the air? If the answer to all of these is yes, then the kiss was genuine! [Read: How to initiate a kiss that’ll make them remember you forever]

Reading the signs on how to know if a kiss meant something real can take skill. You really have to pay attention to not only how you feel, but also how the other person is acting toward you.