How To Get Over Someone Cheating on You and To Repair The Damage

Being cheated on is the worst feeling in the world that fills you with anger and resentment. Find out how to get over someone cheating on you and heal.

There’s a reason why a lot of people fear getting cheated on. It’s one of the ugliest parts of love we want to avoid as hard as we can. However, sometimes, it’s inevitable so you need to know how to get over someone cheating on you.

Even if you wanted to break up with them already, it’s always a horrible feeling to know that someone went behind your back and was dishonest with you. It takes time to know how to get over someone cheating on you and repairing the emotional damage.

Getting cheated on isn’t something we’d wish on anyone as it really makes you question your self-worth. Even if it’s easy to think you can change them or maybe they made a mistake – that’s not what reality usually implies. [

Read: 14 signs you’re dating someone who loves to cheat]

Why do people cheat?

You can’t really predict why people cheat, but there are several factors that contribute to unfaithfulness. Maybe they’re not ready for a relationship, maybe they found someone better, or maybe they’re just incapable of commitment.

We know these reasons sound like absolute bullsh*t, but they’re the truth. People choose to be unfaithful and betray you simply because a committed relationship isn’t high on their priority list.

It’s easy to take cheating personally, but you’ll be surprised how cheating is often a reflection of their insecurities and flaws rather than yours.

After all, they’re the ones behind the deed. No matter what, there’s no excuse in the book that justifies cheating. At the end of the day, they chose to betray your trust and that is that. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

Are cheaters bad people?

No, they’re not the worst person in the world. They did something bad, but it doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. While nothing will ever justify their betrayal and actions, it’s a difficult thing to stay in love with someone who ended up cheating on you. [Read: Why do people in happy relationships still cheat?]

Relationships and dating are often a beautiful feeling, but the moment ugliness seeps in the form of cheating and betrayal, that’s when things get pretty dark. By learning how to get over someone cheating on you, you learn not to let that relationship define you.

Just because they cheated, doesn’t mean you should give up on love or life entirely. Remember, relationships are still beautiful despite the dark parts that come embedded within them. Being cheated on may feel like the end of the world, but at the end of it all, it’s a new beginning. [Read: Why do men cheat? The 3 biggest reasons and 27 excuses men always use]

How to get over someone cheating on you

You’re probably thinking that being cheated on implies there’s only one path to take, which is to leave them. However, this isn’t always the case. There are those that leave, but there are those that also stay and choose to repair what the other broke.

Either way, you’re going to have to learn how to get over someone cheating on you if you want to move forward. If you want to know how to get over someone cheating on you, here’s everything you need to think about first.

1. You need to make a decision

When someone cheats on you, you need to make a decision. Are you going to stay with them or not? If you’re trying to figure out how to get over someone cheating on you, remember that for some people, the decision is easy, while for others it’s much more difficult.

Especially when kids are involved, this decision doesn’t just involve you. Do you think the good outweighs the bad if you stay? If not and if there aren’t any external factors involved, choosing to walk away is the best option. [Read: Getting back with a cheater – Is that even possible?]

2. Express your emotions

Even if you think you’re the most resilient and mentally strong person in the world, you need to be able to express your emotions. Otherwise, shutting off all your anger and resentment will eventually lead to repressed emotions, which is very dangerous for your sanity.

Shutting up and going through the pain on your own isn’t going to work well for you. Talk to people about your pain as that’s the only way you can move forward while putting it behind you.

Talk to people around you that you love, or talk to a therapist, as they’ll be able to help you make some difficult decisions. [Read: The 15 qualities of a great friend that sets them apart]

3. You can’t change what happened

The first thing that often comes to mind when you realize you were cheated on was that it was somehow your fault. That if only you did X and Y, maybe they wouldn’t have cheated on you. However, you don’t know that and self-blame won’t get you anywhere.

If you really want to know how to get over someone cheating on you, accept what already happened and face the facts. You need to reflect on the relationship and look at what happened, what you need to work on, and how you want your future relationships to look like.

4. Be sad

It all comes down to feeling your feelings. Listen, if you want to spend an entire weekend watching Netflix and eating ice cream, do it. If you want to lay on a beach for a week crying, do it. Nobody’s judging your sadness.

In fact, it’s a healthy way of coping instead of repressing your emotions. When you let yourself be sad, one day you’re going to get tired of all that sadness and realize you’re ready to take the next steps. [Read: My boyfriend cheated on me – 20 things you need to do ASAP]

5. Talk to your partner

If you’re someone who tends to avoid confrontation rather than facing it, this is a really important one. At some point, stop avoiding a difficult conversation and just talk to them. Honestly, the cheater is the one who is supposed to be more afraid of a conversation than you because they know they’re in the wrong!

Communication with your partner is essential after they cheat on you, whether you choose to stay with them or leave them. They need to know how their actions affected you, and you need closure with what happened.

If you choose to leave, this may be the last conversation you get before the relationship ends. [Read: 20 questions to need to ask your partner as you break up with them]

6. Remove them from your life

That is, if you’re choosing to break up with them. If not, then you need to see a couple’s therapist to help you work through your issues.

You can’t settle for a relationship where you’re half out the door and half in – it doesn’t work that way. Maybe it’s for just a certain period until you heal or maybe it’s forever, but you definitely need space from them. [Read: Should you ever forgive a cheating partner?]

7. Don’t rush it

You see this in a lot of heartbreaks and betrayal, but you can’t rush the healing process. It may feel like your heart is dying because the betrayal hurts so much, but this isn’t something you can rush. If you’ve been with your partner for years, you can’t expect yourself to get over the issue in a couple of days.

This will take months and months of healing before you start to feel better. Days feel like months but eventually, there’ll come a point when you’re ready to move forward and leave everything behind. And maybe, just maybe, you won’t miss them as much anymore. [Read: How to get over being cheated on quickly without breaking apart]

8. Stay off of their social media

The worst place you can be is on your social media platforms. Stop stalking them, their friends, or anything related to them. If you want to know how to get over someone cheating on you, then social media is the last place you should be.

If anything, you’ll become obsessed with seeing their statuses and photos, seeing who they’re with, but in the end, it doesn’t matter.

9. If you choose to stay with them, define your relationship

What type of relationship do you want you and your partner to have? If you stay with them, you need to redefine your relationship again. Your old relationship rules are no longer valid since they destroyed an important part – your trust.

Yes, you went through a rough patch, and now you both are focused on making the relationship work. So, you need to decide how you and your partner want the relationship to look and what’s missing. [Read: 28 signs that tell you if your relationship is over or not]

10. It’s not going to get better overnight

Regardless if you’re mending the relationship or moving on, it’s not something you’ll achieve overnight. It takes a lot of time to heal yourself or to trust your partner again. Being cheated on isn’t a joke and it’s one of the most self-destructive feelings in the world.

Just like you shouldn’t rush the process, you can’t expect to get better overnight either. You will need time to learn to trust your partner again, and they need time to work through their infidelity as well. [Read: 14 ways to survive infidelity without tearing apart]

11. Don’t blame yourself

When your partner cheats on you, it’s not a reflection of your inadequacy but theirs. None of it was your fault as cheating will always be a choice. You gave everything in your capabilities and it wasn’t enough for them. If they weren’t happy, they should’ve just left instead of going behind your back.

It doesn’t matter if it’s emotional or physical cheating – cheating is cheating. Don’t blame yourself, because a relationship has two people involved, not just you.

12. Don’t necessarily listen to your friends

Your friends don’t want to see you hurt, so they’re obviously going to try to hook you up with other people or get you to end all ties with your cheating partner, which isn’t a bad idea. But if you’re not ready to decide on the best ways forward, then you’re not ready.

Don’t let yourself be pressured in dating again because if you’re not ready, this will do more damage than good. In knowing how to get over someone cheating on you, realize that your friends don’t always know what’s best for you.

Plus, if you choose to stay with your partner instead of breaking up, you’ll probably hear an earful from your friends. It’s not their life, it’s yours. [Read: The most powerful and practical ways to rebuild trust after your partner cheats on you]

13. Realize one day, this won’t bother you anymore

Time really is such a strange concept, but time can indeed heal everything. You miss the relationship so much it hurts but one day, you won’t miss it as much anymore. There will be a moment when you just stop thinking about it. It just won’t come to your mind or if it does, you won’t feel anger.

It’ll be a moment of clarity where it just stops defining you. Being cheated on will simply be an event of the past and nothing more. [Read: What do you wish you could say to the one who cheated?]

14. Focus on your personal development

There’s no better revenge than focusing on your personal development. They might have cheated on you, but that doesn’t mean you have to sabotage yourself for it. Instead, use that pain as an opportunity to rise above and become better.

You can use it as an important lesson for your next relationship. It might not prevent you from being cheated on entirely, but you’ll get to acknowledge the red flags before you even commit to them.

15. Let go of all the anger and resentment

Anger and resentment really aren’t doing anything for you. If anything, you’ll feel more stuck the more you hold grudges in your life. Cheating sucks, and you feel betrayed. However, to learn how to get over someone cheating on you, don’t let your anger and resentment get the best of you.

Forgive yourself for not knowing better and forgive them for hurting you the way they did. It takes a lot of courage to be the bigger person but don’t do it for them – do it for you.

[Read: How to stop being angry: Free your mind and stop hurting yourself]

So, how do you get over being cheated on?

There’s no single way to get over this kind of betrayal and hurt. However, you take it one step at a time until you’ve eventually healed. Whether you stayed or left them, it’s a process you need to endure before moving forward in your life.

[Read: The 4 most common yet most painful types of cheating in a relationship]

Now that you know how to get over someone cheating on you, it’s best to take the time to focus on your betterment and move forward. You can’t change the fact that you were cheated on, but you can avoid letting it define you.