25 Deep Questions to Ask a Girl to See If You’re Compatible Together

Rather than engaging in small talk, asking deep questions will help get to know her better. Keep reading to find out more on deep questions to ask a girl.

Girls like to do this thing where we withhold a lot of information about ourselves when we first meet someone. When knowing the deep questions to ask a girl, you can get a better sense of who she is.

Rather than engaging in small talk, you’ll know her much better when you ask her meaningful questions. The truth is, girls might seem like an open book but there’s a lot to reveal underneath all those layers. We feel protective of ourselves, and it can take time to open up to people.

By asking the right questions, you get to know the important things about her that really matters. Maybe it’s her perspective on life, her values, her mindsets, but you’ll never have the slightest insight into any of this by asking the wrong questions.

[Read: 20 things you MUST know about girls if you want her to like you back]

The benefits of knowing someone deep down

How many people in your life can you say that you REALLY know? We’re talking about if it were life or death, could you answer a question the same way they would? You might know them on a surface level, but do you really know who they are in their core?

If you want to develop a real relationship with someone, you need to know them beyond the surface. This means knowing things like what keeps them up at night, their worst fears, and even the passions that drive them to wake up. This is why it’s important to know the right kind of deep questions to ask a girl.

You’re not just asking her because there’s no other topic, but to develop a real connection and intimacy with her. The thing about intimacy is you don’t really connect with someone unless you get to know them deeply.

The benefits of knowing someone deep down can mean the difference between a successful relationship and a relationship that’s only skin deep. When you know someone for who they really are, you know that you’re with them for all the right reasons. [Read: 18 revealing what-if questions to ask your girlfriend]

Can asking deep questions make a girl fall for you?

The answer to this question is both yes and no. Girls tend to have complex walls, especially if they’ve already been hurt in the past. Asking her questions can break down those, but there’s no guarantee she’ll be answering them with transparency and openness.

Deep questions can help in getting to know her and find out the things that really make up who she is. You’ll find out her worst fears, insecurities, dreams, passions, and everything else in between.

Basically, you’ll be encouraging her to be vulnerable to you, and we all know you can’t really give your heart to someone without first being vulnerable. When you know these deep questions to ask a girl, it can give her the impression you really do care and increases your chance of winning her heart by a lot.

However, again, you can’t make her magically fall in love just by asking questions. It simply pushes your connection further to see whether the relationship is worth the shot or not. [Read: How to make a girl fall in love with you: 18 steps to win her heart]

Deep questions to ask a girl to reveal her true self

All in all, girls are by far the hardest people to get to open up–even if we like to talk a lot. Girls are very mysterious that way. When she’s comfortable around you, she won’t stop talking but when she’s still assessing whether to trust you or not, she’ll put her walls so high you can’t even reach them.

Luckily, there are ways to get us to dish our deepest darkest desires without having to wait months on end. In this feature, we’ll be listing down the deep questions to ask a girl to get to know her better.

1. What’s your worst fear?

Her worst fear is an important answer as this comes from a place of insecurity and vulnerability. Make sure you don’t just get a vague answer from her, but it’s an answer that comes from her heart.

Her worst fear shouldn’t be something like the dark or spiders, even if that’s what she may say at first. You need to get the real answer, the one that’s beyond the little things, so make sure you focus on those. [Read: Win her heart: All the things to talk about with your crush]

2. If you won a million dollars, what would you spend it on?

This question tells you so much about her character so it’s important to pay close attention. The average answer from materialistic people would be buying cars or the latest iPhone, but if she says she’d give a part of it to charity or says something that reveals her less materialistic side, you’ll know what really matters to her.

This also says a lot about how big and pure her heart and intentions are, and how selfless she is.

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?

Similar to the question above, it tells you a lot about her character. This is one of the deep questions to ask a girl to get to know her character and heart better. [Read: Wife material – 25 signs the girl you like is way more than just dating material!]

4. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you want to be?

This will tell you more than you would ever hope to know about her goals in life and her true desires. With this particular question, you learn about her nature and how much of a traveler or dreamer she is.

5. What kinds of things make you happy cry?

You can know so much about a person by what makes her vulnerable. By asking her what puts tears in her eyes in a happy way, you’re asking what pulls her heartstrings. If something makes her cry with happiness, it is VERY important to her. [Read: When a woman is crying: The gentleman’s dos and don’ts]

6. What’s your biggest passion in life?

Most people ask, “What do you like to do?” but that can be much different than what someone’s biggest passion is. Her passion is what makes her feel alive, fuels her soul, and drives her to wake up in the morning. You’ll know a lot about her soul by knowing her biggest passion.

7. What would you wish to accomplish in life if you could only accomplish one thing?

This is one of the deep questions to ask a girl to know about her ambition and aspirations in life. Asking her this deep question helps you understand the single most important hope she has out of life.

8. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?

If you want to know what this girl has planned for herself, asking her what she thinks her life will be like in 20 years is a great way to find out if you two are compatible. It’s a subtle way of knowing if the future she sees aligns with what you want. [Read: How to get your life together – 30 ways to live your best life]

9. Are you a spiritual person?

Religion can be a very touchy subject for some people and asking if someone is spiritual helps you uncover their beliefs and even their views on the world. If you have contrasting spiritual beliefs, this also helps you know this early on.

It’s one of the most controversial aspects of any relationship so this is a really significant question to ask a girl. [Read: 15 traits that’ll make you perfect boyfriend material]

10. How often do you see your best friends?

Friendship is just as important as it’s her support system, so it’s an essential part of knowing her. Finding out how much a girl values those in her life that she loves can be discovered with this deep, yet simple question.

11. How often do you see your family?

You can measure how much a girl values her family by how much time she spends with them. This is one of the deep questions to ask a girl that’s essential, especially if you’re someone who values family. Otherwise, this could be a huge problem further down the line.

12. What’s one thing you wish you could do differently in your life so far?

Everyone has made mistakes and everyone has something that they wish they could’ve done differently. This doesn’t just give you a sense of her past, but also her deepest regrets. [Read: 20 questions to ask her that can reveal your own sensitive side]

13. What’s one thing that no one else knows about you?

This is one of the deep questions to ask a girl that lets you develop a certain connection with her. After all, she’s just told you something that nobody else knows in their life. This helps her open up to you, and you’ll find out something very important to her.

14. Who is your biggest influence in life?

You are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with. With this question, you’ll know where the majority of her values, personality, and even her mindset comes from.

15. What do you value the most?

Asking her this deep question is very important in discovering if both of your values line up or if she has a much different outlook on life. It might seem like a mundane question, but this defines your compatibility and helps you know for sure if your values align together. [Read: How to know if she is the one for you – 32 signs to know for sure]

16. What did you want to be when you were a little girl?

This is one of the deep questions to ask a girl that’s very nostalgic and sentimental. You’ll give her the realization of how much has changed since then and how her aspirations have changed over time.

17. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever been through?

This is another powerful question that can show you just how strong of a person she is, or if she’s had a simple life with not much struggle.

A person who’s endured a lot of pain is often wise, resilient, and knows to fight her way through life. This means if things ever do work out between both of you, she won’t be the type to give up easily.

18. If you found out you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

Many people get asked this question but few know how to answer it. This is one of the few questions that reveal your true priorities. By asking her this, you get a sense of what truly matters to her even until her last breath.

19. What’s one thing you would change about yourself?

If you want to know how she feels about herself and how important her appearance is to her versus her personality traits, ask her this. If she says something like her height or her physical features, then looks obviously matter to her.

However, if she says she wants to change maybe her generosity or her mindset, then she cares about inner beauty. [Read: The 25 best relationship topics to talk about if you want to be happy together]

20. What are you grateful for in life?

If you really want to know who she is as a person and what type of person she is, you’ll find out by getting an answer to what she is grateful for. Gratitude isn’t something everyone has and people have different levels of gratitude.

When she says she’s grateful for things like the sunset or the fact that she woke up that day, it speaks volumes on her appreciation for the world. [Read: 20 things to be grateful you don’t appreciate enough in life right now]

21. What drives you to get up every morning?

This is one of the deep questions to ask a girl that reveals her purpose and direction in life. If she says something like her career or the ability to experience the world, she’s a very substantial person. This is the kind of girl that’s very passionate and driven about life as a whole. [Read: Instant chemistry: 25 flirty questions to ask a girl you like]

22. What’s your personal definition of love?

This sounds like a cliche question, but a person’s definition of love can make or break a relationship. For instance, if she defines love as a feeling rather than a choice, this could potentially be a problem.

While there isn’t a concrete definition of love, it’s always best to find someone who matches your definition. [Read: What is true love? 22 signs of love to know if someone’s love is real]

23. What’s the one thing that destroyed you the most?

This isn’t an easy question to answer as it comes from a really dark and vulnerable place in their life. However, if she does answer this, she’s giving you a part in their past. It also means that she trusts you – or at least, she’s trying to.

24. What’s something you believe that others don’t understand?

Your beliefs are another thing that comes from a vulnerable place, especially if it’s a belief that’s not understood by others. This helps you connect with their thoughts or spiritual side and see something that others don’t get a lot of.

25. Do you believe love conquers all?

The real truth of the matter is that love really doesn’t conquer all, but some people believe otherwise. These people either haven’t experienced enough relationships or are just immature with relationships. But if she’s an eternal optimist, that can’t hurt, can it?

[Read: When you truly love someone: Would you really do anything for them?]

So, what are deep questions to ask a girl?

No matter what questions you ask a girl, they help you let down her walls and get to know her better. And honestly, as a girl, she has so many walls that are very difficult to break. While deep questions aren’t an assurance that she’ll let you in completely, at least you’ll have a better sense of who she is *and if you’re compatible*.

Breaking down a girl’s walls is an important part of testing the waters to see if you’re compatible together. These deep questions to ask a girl helps you find out who she is deep within.