Narcissistic Men: 15 Traits That Set Their Swollen Heads Apart

Having confidence or being self-centered is much different than narcissism. The next time you’re on a date, look for these signs of narcissistic men.

We always like to label people who love themselves as narcissistic men and women, which isn’t always the case. Listen, you should always put yourself as a priority; you are number one, and that’s not a bad thing.

At the end of the day, if you don’t put yourself first, no one else will. Of course, that being said, there’s a limit. Sure, we all have those moments where we go a little excessive and get into ourselves. It happens to the best of us. But then there are narcissists, and though you may think most of them are women, that’s not the case. Here’s what you need to know about narcissistic men.

Of course, it’s not to say there aren’t narcissistic women out there. With the help of social media, narcissism probably increased; however, most people aren’t diagnosed with NPD *narcissistic personality disorder*. If anything, narcissism has now been more accepted and fueled with the help of social media.

[Read: How to tell if someone is a narcissist and recognize them instantly]

Most people don’t meet the criteria for NPD, as narcissism ranges on a spectrum, but  75% of people who are diagnosed with NPD *narcissistic personality disorder* are men. Now, maybe the guy you’re interested in shows some signs of narcissism, but it’s hard to say if he’s someone who could be diagnosed with NPD or not.

Remember, it’s on a spectrum, and we all have some narcissistic traits. But, some are worse than others, and if you can avoid being with overly narcissistic men as a partner, then do it. 

What are narcissistic men like? 15 red flags to look for

It’s time you knew the signs of narcissistic men.

#1 He’s a perfectionist. This doesn’t mean all perfectionists are narcissistic men. A narcissist is obviously going to exhibit many of these signs, not just one or two of them. True narcissists believe everything must be perfect, whether it’s themselves, you, or an event. Of course, because nothing is perfect, they’re usually unsatisfied with everything.

But the thing that sets a narcissistic man apart is his tendency to project perfection even if he is far from it. To a narcissist, displaying perfection is all that matters. Whether he is truly one or not, that’s just a by-product of projecting perfection.

#2 He needs to be in control. Because narcissists are always striving for perfection, they need to be in control. They have the perfect idea of how things should be and how things should play out.

They need to know what comes next; if not, they’re left unprepared with what to say or how to act. And that’s not a good look for them. They need to look cool, calm, and collected at all times. [Read: Controlling vs caring: A thin line controlling people love to cross]

#3 He never takes responsibility. When I was seventeen-years-old, I had a hard time accepting the blame. And to this day, I struggle with it from time to time, but eventually, I recognize my wrongs and make them right. But with a narcissist, they’ll never recognize their actions as wrong. Instead, they shift the blame and point the finger to someone who’s close to them. Most likely, that’ll be you. 

#4 His needs always come first. Okay, I said you should prioritize yourself, and you should. But there are times where you’ll need to compromise. It’s normal. But with narcissists, they don’t compromise. It has to be their way, or it’s the highway. They’re not able to put anyone else first, as that would mean they’re not a priority anymore. 

#5 He lacks empathy. When you’re a narcissist, you don’t care about the feelings of other people. How could you? If you did, then you wouldn’t act so selfishly, right? So, if you’re sitting across from a guy who is unable to empathize with you, that’s a sign something isn’t right. It doesn’t mean he’s a narcissist, but it shows he’s unable to read how you’re feeling. [Read: Characteristics of people who lack empathy and suck your energy out]

#6 He holds a lot of shame. Narcissistic men are deeply insecure and fearful. Most narcissists have experienced trauma and rejection; however, they repressed it. With shame, they feel something is wrong about them as a person. So, they fight those feelings back by hiding them. 

#7 He doesn’t have any long-term relationships. He doesn’t have to have a lot of friends; many people only have a couple of good friends around them. But, these friends are usually long-term relationships. Narcissists are typically unable to maintain long-term relationships, including friendships. 

#8 He’s a bad team player. Maybe you work with a man who you feel is a narcissist. Well, how does he handle himself in group situations? Working as a team requires certain skills, and these are skills narcissists don’t have. They’re not able to read feelings and give up their needs and opinions for someone else. 

#9 He’s extremely charming. Most men are charming, so don’t freak out and assume someone’s a narcissist. But charm is one trait narcissistic men have mastered with time. Narcissists want to be seen as special, someone that you will admire. This also means by them being special, you’re seen as less. [Read: How do narcissists control you so subtly? And why you allow them]

#10 The conversation is only about him. Okay, we all love to talk about ourselves, but when it comes to a narcissist, that’s the only thing they can talk about. Not only are they conversation hogs, but they need to talk about how amazing and great they are. When you’re full of shame and insecurities, you boost yourself up constantly.  

#11 He must be complimented. All the time. But really, all the time. A compliment here or there isn’t going to do the trick. A narcissistic man needs to be showered with compliments, as that’s what he feeds off. He might seem very confident, but if he needs your praise to feel good about himself, he lacks self-esteem. 

#12 He doesn’t want to define the relationship. There are plenty of men who don’t want to define the relationship, and that’s not because they’re narcissists. Some aren’t that into enough to commit, while others aren’t looking for anything serious. But if he’s showing most of these signs, then the odds are he’s a narcissist who likes having you around while looking for someone better. [Read: How to know if a narcissist is finished with you and wants to discard you]

#13 He’s right, you’re wrong. On everything. You’re never right, and even when you are, you’re not. Narcissistic men can’t have someone they see as less being right. They need to teach you what’s right and wrong, even though you already know. It’s as annoying as it sounds. 

#14 He doesn’t lift you up. Okay, not physically speaking. Not everyone is pumping iron. But when you’re talking to a guy about your dreams and goals, regardless of his personal opinion, he’s supportive of you. That’s what partners and friends are for; they’re supposed to lift you up. However, narcissists aren’t interested in having anyone do better than them. And if you’re succeeding, they’ll try to push you down. [Read: 10 signs your partner is truly supportive of your goals]

#15 He lies a lot. A white lie every now and then isn’t a big deal. Most of us will throw a white lie out there if we don’t want to offend someone or get in trouble. We’re only human. But narcissistic men must lie. They usually need to exaggerate their stories and create situations to make themselves more impressive to other people. In other words, they like to lie. [Read: 15 ways a pathological liar hurts and confuses you with their lies]

[Read: How to deal with a narcissist in the best way you possibly car – The full guide on narcissism]

Narcissism is completely different than confidence and self-centeredness; this is something you should differentiate. Once you remember these key traits of narcissistic men, you’ll be able to avoid them far more easily.