The Clearest Signs He Wants to Date You Even If He Isn’t Saying It

People claim men are simple creatures, but they can be just as complicated as anyone. He won’t always say it, so here are the signs he wants to date you.

Sometimes we need to read between the lines to figure out how a guy really feels. Does he want to date you or waste your time? Is he in it for a fling or is he serious? Well, there are a few subtle but very clear signs he wants to date you to help you know where you stand.

It is a common misconception that guys are straightforward and not complicated. Sure, some guys are simple, but many are just as fearful of rejection as the rest of us. Because of this, they may not come right out and say, “I want to date you.” 

Whether you’ve been casually seeing each other and he’s not saying he wants to take it to the next level or you’re just friends who flirt, there are always signs he wants to date you. 

If you can catch these, then you can make the move he can’t.

[Read: Subtle ways to know how to encourage him to make the first move]

Are these signs he wants to date you?

Signs are great. I love signs. Signs give you answers that aren’t obvious and can guide you in the right direction. But, with that, signs can be misleading. Sometimes our preconceived notions can make us think something is a sign when it isn’t. 

Not just that, but if we want to see a sign, we can make ourselves see one that isn’t there.

If you want this guy to want to date you, you can take everything he does and analyze it enough until it seems like a sign he wants to date you. 

So, stay focused on the reality of the situation, here are some signs he wants to date you that really aren’t signs he wants to date you. 

#1 He’s willing to “wait.” Everyone thinks a guy that is willing to wait for sex or to take things to the next level must be serious about you. But, that simply isn’t the case. Some guys who are willing to wait are so patient because they are sleeping with someone else.

They may seem so respectful, but really aren’t pushing for more because they are getting it somewhere else. [Read: How to deal with a guy who is sending mixed signals]

#2 Texting a lot. Texting a lot is not one of the signs he wants to date you but of serious amounts of free time. A guy who texts a lot may have zero intention of meeting up. He talks to you because it’s convenient for him and he gets an ego boost out of it.

Usually, when a guy does really like you and wants to date you, he goes from texting to actual plans. [Read: How to know when to stop texting a guy]

#3 Making promises. Promises are sweet. When a guy promises you, he’ll take you to a new fancy restaurant or do something you said your ex never did, it sounds good in the moment. We can hang onto those promises forever. But, if they never come true, they don’t mean very much.

If he’s making sweet promises but not following through, he is happy to make you happy in the moment but has no solid plans to move things in that direction long-term.

#4 Always comes back. TV and movies have tricked us into believing that a guy who disappears and comes back will always come back and is worthy of us. But, if a guy stops texting you for days or ignores you, then comes back as if nothing happened, or even apologizes for it, there is a reason he is disappearing. 

Unless he is continually getting kidnapped without access to his phone, nothing else really cuts it as an excuse. A guy who disappears is not making you a priority, and if he’s not doing it now, he isn’t planning on doing it later. [Read: How to recognize a guy who plays games and what you should do about them]

#5 He shares… A LOT. We all love a guy who can share his feelings and emotions. It is nice to have a guy who is open, but some guys are too open. If a guy is sharing every detail of his life with you, it isn’t necessarily a sign he wants to date you and feels comfortable with you. 

In fact, it could also mean he is narcissistic. A guy who shares this much isn’t interested in what you have to share. He may want to date you, but only because he can’t date himself.

Signs he wants to date you

I hope you don’t get fooled by those not-sign signs he wants to date you. After years of dating experience, they always seemed to signal something, but never that he wanted to date me. 

The signs he wants to date you are a bit more subtle, but also a lot more meaningful. You won’t just notice these things because you’re looking for them but you’ll feel them.

When a guy wants to date you, he isn’t sending you signs so you figure it out. Even if he can’t say it, he is showing you through his actions because he genuinely wants to make you happy, not because he wants to win you as a prize. 

He won’t be showing off but will be authentically interested in you and your happiness.

So, what are the signs he wants to date you?

#1 He plans out your time together. A guy who doesn’t want to date you will leave things up in the air. He will invite you over and have no food and make you pick the movie.

A guy who does want to date you will take you out to a restaurant he thought you’d like, put on a movie with an actor you’ve raved about, and make the plans ahead of time. [Read: How to recognize the signs he isn’t interested after the first date]

#2 He tells the truth. If he wants to date you, he won’t put on a show. He knows that if you two eventually date that you will learn about his past. Instead of hiding this from you, he is honest about his past and his mistakes. He wants you to know the real him.

#3 He asks your opinion. One of the signs he wants to date you, is when he asks and values your opinions. He trusts your taste and wants to know what you think, so if he is buying a new jacket, glasses, or piece of furniture, if he sends you the link to see what you think, you have a good sign. 

#4 He asks you questions. And I don’t mean what you’re wearing. A guy who wants to date you likes spending time with you and wants to know you better. He’ll ask you about your family, childhood, and what you want in the future. He’ll want to see how he fits into your life. [Read: 16 signs he’s falling hard for you and is really serious]

#5 He talks to people about you. If you’re together and he is on the phone and mentions your name, it is because the person he is talking to knows who you are. And if he tells his friends and family about you, he likely is hoping you’ll meet them. If he had no intention of adding you into his life, he wouldn’t share you with them.

#6 He is public with you. Whether he is holding your hand in public or posting Instagram stories with you, being public is a big deal for a lot of guys. By posting photos with you, he is telling everyone he knows that he is seeing you, even if you haven’t discussed what that means.

He has no problem with people thinking you’re together, a big sign he wants to date you.

#7 He respects you. A guy who wants to date you will respect you. He will respect your boundaries, your requests, and you as a person. He will respect your time. If he’s going to be late, he lets you know. If he can’t talk, he’ll warn you he’ll be unreachable. He doesn’t want you to have to wait around for him. [Read: How your self-respect impacts you and your relationships]

#8 He doesn’t make you crazy. A guy who wants to date you and hasn’t said it will make it clear. Based on his actions and the stability of his interest, you will be able to tell how he feels. You won’t be constantly questioning how he really feels or if he’s seeing someone else. He wants you to feel secure.

[Read: Does he like me? How to decode his body language?]

The signs he wants to date you are not hard to spot. Honestly, they are usually pretty obvious, you just have to know what you’re looking for.