Getting Left on Read? What It Means & Why You Shouldn’t Even Care

Anyone who has dated in the last 10 years knows how much it sucks getting left on read. You don’t have to take it lying down. Here is what to do about it.

Getting left on read is sort of the modern version of being stood up. It sucks. You don’t get an excuse or a reason or closure. And it can really make you feel bad about yourself.

As someone who has been left on read a time or two, I can honestly say I feel your pain. This is why most people turn off their read receipts. Most people that leave them on either don’t know or don’t care.

And that is what hurts. When you text someone and they read it without responding, it feels like you’re bothering them. It feels like they don’t care about what you said and don’t want to hear from you.

When you don’t get a response to an unread message, there are so many possible reasons for it, but when you actually know your message was read without a response there really is only one reason,  and it sucks. [Read: The essential tools you need to forget someone fast and move on]

Are you getting left on read by someone?

I know getting left on read seems like a simple thing. You would think you would know if you were left on read. But, sometimes it isn’t that simple.

You could technically be left on read, but not with the same rudeness that you think you were. Some texts or messages just don’t really need a response.

Think about your messaging style. Do you respond to every message? Do you always have something to say? How many times have you read a text and not responded? I do it at least once a day.

When someone doesn’t ask you a question, sometimes the conversation dies down and there is nothing else to say. [Read: How to handle the annoying wait when he doesn’t text back for days]

So, before jumping to conclusions, take a look at your last text. Did you say “lol”? Did you ask a question? Were you in the middle of a conversation or was it the end of a conversation? Think about if a response was really necessary or are you just second-guessing yourself? You don’t need to overanalyze every time you think you’re getting left on read by someone. [Read: When she doesn’t text back – why girls do that and what you need to do]

What to do about getting left on read

Okay, it may seem like getting left on read is just something you must endure. It is just a part of dating in current times. People no longer say they aren’t interested or even make up a bad excuse. Just getting left on read is now the norm.

But, you do not have to put up with it, and you do not have to let getting left on read get you down.

#1 Don’t double text. No one’s phone glitches and sends a text twice, so don’t double text. Also, don’t text them on “accident” pretending it was meant for someone else. And certainly, don’t reach out on other platforms.

I know you want to get them to respond. It is human nature. But, it is not worth it. No matter how rude they are for not answering, it is not worth embarrassing yourself. If they wanted to answer, they would have. [Read: The basic rules to play it cool with double texting]

#2  Relax. Try not to get in your head so much. Sometimes getting left on read is just that. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you. It doesn’t mean they are ghosting you or ignoring you on purpose.

People get busy. Maybe they read it and then forgot to respond or got distracted by something. Just let it be. If they want to talk to you, they will reach out eventually. Getting left on read by someone does not have to be as horrible as it sounds.

#3 Text someone else. Instead of focusing on the person not answering, text someone else. Talking with someone that gives you the attention you want and appreciates what you have to say will not only take your mind off of getting left on read, but it will feel way better. [Read: How often should you text someone? 17 must-know rules of texting]

#4 Let them know how you feel. I wouldn’t always recommend this, but if you are repeatedly getting left on read by a friend or even your partner, you should let them know how that makes you feel. I know it is just a text message that went unanswered, but your feelings about being left on read are valid.

They may think it isn’t a big deal, but if you tell them how it makes you feel, they can take more care in the future to make sure they answer.

#5 Forget about it. It can be hard to just let it go and move on, but it is really one of the more healthy choices to make. Instead of dwelling on what it means or worry about what this person thinks of you, let it go.

I know it is easier said than done, but if you can do it, it will give you a lot more confidence moving forward. Not everyone is a good texter. Not everyone will like you or want to talk. And that is okay. As long as you are happy with yourself, getting left on read does not have to affect you. [Read: Dry texting and the real meaning behind those one word responses]

#6 Ask them to turn off their read receipts. This is a decision you really have to make, but it could help you. Now, some people may not know they have their read receipts on and others leave it there for a reason. But, if you can’t help but feel hurt by being left on read, ask them if they can turn them off.

There is a downside to this because then you won’t know if they are ignoring you or just haven’t read your message, but that can be better sometimes. So, it really depends on what you think would be easier for you.

Now, you can’t ask a random person or a new crush to do this, but if you have a close friend or a partner you feel comfortable with, they should work with you to make sure you’re not upset. [Read: What does it mean when someone is ignoring your texts on purpose]

#7 Take the hint. I hate being this harsh, but sometimes this is the way the world works. I wish everyone would just say what is on their mind and let you know if they don’t want to talk, but that just is not the case.

By not answering or worse, by leaving you on read, this person may be sending you a message. They may not just be busy or forgetful, they may want you to get the picture without having to say anything. Yes, it is a coward’s move, but it still happens. It doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. [Read: Why do narcissists ignore texts and do the selfish things they do?]

So, next time you find yourself getting left on read, maybe just take it at face value. It is a form of rejection and that sucks. Once you accept it, you can move on to someone that answers their messages, or better yet turns off their read receipts like a sane person.

[Read: Understanding why someone could be blowing hot and then cold]

Getting left on read is one of the most confusing and upsetting parts of modern dating and communication. But you can learn to take it in your stride, and remember that it isn’t a reflection of you, but of the cowardly person who chose not to text you back.