How to Love Someone: The Easy Guide to Grow Closer and Love Deeper

Anybody? Find me, somebody, to love. Love is a universal experience, but it’s so hard to define. So here’s how to love someone right.

Love is a huge concept that is different for everyone. Now, if you’re wondering how to love someone, I can’t exactly tell you how. You are your own person, and you have your own way of showing love.

What is love? Can you describe it? No, probably not. It’s just something you feel deep inside of you. When we’re in love, we want to be affectionate towards that person, and show our love for them through kind actions. But loving someone is more than just giving them hugs and kisses or telling them, ‘I love you.’

[Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]

How to love someone

For my partner and me, we’re different. He’s romantic and loves to surprise me, while I show love through physical affection and nurturing my partner. We’re different. But there are some things you can do, no matter how you choose to show your love, that can help create a stronger relationship between you and your partner.

[Read: How to show love with sweet gestures that don’t use words]

If you want to show love, you can, there’s nothing stopping you. So, try out some of these things you’re about to read. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to know how to love someone.

#1 Accept them for who they are. If you want to love someone, accept them for who they are, including their imperfections. You cannot go into a relationship wanting to change the person you’re with.

Love is selfless. Love is celebrating the person you’re with for who they are. Don’t think you’re going to “fix” your partner. If that’s your plan, then you do not truly love them for who they are.  [Read: 11 sweet and intimate ways to show how much you care]

#2 What’s your love language? You need to know how you express your love and see how your partner expresses their love. Odds are you two express love differently. This isn’t a bad thing; it’s good to know how you two communicate. How do you prefer to show your love? How do they prefer to show their love?

#3 Listen. If you want to show your love to someone, listen to them. How can you love someone if you don’t know who they are? Listen and get to know your partner. You’ll not only build a stronger relationship, but you’ll learn more about your partner. Get to know them, and you’ll love them even more. [Read: How to be a better listener in your relationship]

#4 Talk, talk, talk. We don’t talk enough. Do you really tell your partner what’s on your mind? Do they tell you? Use your words to express how you feel towards them. If they make you happy, then tell them. If you want them to know they’re the reason why you wake up smiling, tell them! You don’t need to throw compliments every two seconds, but verbal compliments are always appreciated. 

#5 How do they want to be loved? Have you asked them how they want to receive love? They’re the only person who knows what they like and want out of a partner. What does your partner see as love? What are their beliefs? This will give you a better insight of how they want to see their relationship.

#6 What are their needs? If you want to love someone, it takes more than just holding hands and cuddling. What are your partner’s needs? What would help make their life a little bit easier? If you pay attention, you’ll notice what’s going on in their life and how you can make things better. 

#7 Engage in their life. They probably have their own set of hobbies and interests that don’t align with you, and that’s fine. You don’t need to like the same things as your partner. Love is about showing your support and interest in their hobbies. Go watch their basketball game or try painting with them.

#8 Spend quality time with them. Time, time, time. We never have the time, but when it comes to your partner, you need to spend quality time with them. This doesn’t mean you have to invest every waking moment by their side. But when you do hang out with your partner, make the time with them count. [Read: How to show commitment to your partner and make them feel secure] 

#9 Everyone likes a surprise. This doesn’t mean you need to buy your partner a fancy watch or boat; a surprise can be small. It could be cleaning their apartment before they come home from a hectic day of work, or getting them a ticket to their favorite local band. Surprise your partner no matter how big or small.

#10 Be easy on yourself and your partner during conflicts. It’s easy to lash out and yell during a heated debate, but that isn’t what you should do. During a conflict, be easy on yourself and your partner. Instead of yelling, talk things out. If you’re feeling anger, take some time to cool down before talking about the problem again. [Read: How to resolve conflict in a healthy way and cut the drama]

#11 A little space goes a long way. Love isn’t supposed to feel suffocating. You or your partner shouldn’t feel like you can’t do anything without each other. Love comes with boundaries. They should be able to spend time with friends and family, as should you.

Alone time doesn’t mean you don’t love them; it shows you respect them and the things they value in their life. 

#12 Take responsibility for your actions. It’s time, isn’t it? If you want to have a healthy and loving relationship, you need to take responsibility for your actions. When you make a mistake, own up to it and apologize. It’s not easy, but it shows them you’re ready and capable to acknowledge your actions. [Read: How to apologize and say sorry to your lover]

#13 Show appreciation. You don’t need to buy your partner expensive gifts, but they do need to be appreciated. If your partner cooked a tasty dinner, acknowledge it with a ‘thank you’ or do the dishes in return. Love isn’t just about feeling intense passion; it’s also about showing your partner you’re grateful for them.

[Read: How to show your appreciation to someone and show your gratitude]

Knowing how to love someone isn’t easy, nor is it something you can follow out of a book. But there are some things you can do to love someone.