How to Win a Guy Back When You Messed Up a Perfectly Good Thing

You messed up, and you messed up so good your man doesn’t want to be with you anymore. But here’s how to win a guy back. There is hope!

You want to learn how to win a guy back because you messed up and feel guilty for what you did. And, I’m going to help you win him back, but ultimately, it’s up to him whether or not he wants to be with you.

BUT, before you go through all of this, you should want him back because you know he is the person you want as a partner.

I know it’s tough to hear, but what you did may have genuinely hurt him, and he’s unable to move past that. Whatever you do, don’t force him to be with you. If he decides he wants to be with you, great. If not, you should move on.

[Read: How to win your ex back in the healthiest way possible]

How to win a guy back – The steps that really matter

There have been some moments where I thought I messed up to the point I would end my relationship with my partner. I’m only human; I make mistakes just like everyone else. No, these mistakes had nothing to do with cheating. Either I did or said something that really hurt my partner, and it was difficult for him to move past it.

What’s important from all of this is that I chose to work on myself and understand why I behaved the way I did. And to win a guy back, you’ll need to put in some hard work and soul searching of your own.

Now, if you’ve cheated on your partner, there are deep-rooted issues in your relationship you need to process. Right now, you may be feeling bad and want him back, even though, deep down, you know the relationship wasn’t healthy. [Read: How to forgive yourself for cheating and stop beating yourself up]

#1 Did you give him some space? Okay, you had a fight yesterday, and you said some horrible things. And now, you’re calling him ten times every hour to talk with him. Stop. Instead, think of time as your friend, because it really is. Give him some space and time to think about things and let him come to you when he’s ready. [Read: How to give him space without losing him… or your confused mind!]

#2 Reflect on yourself. If you want to know how to win a guy back, you’re going to have to do a lot of self-reflection and figure out what you did wrong and why it was wrong. It’s not fun to accept responsibility for your actions, but it’s crucial to move forward in your relationship. Look at the real issue and how you need to change your behavior.

#3 What’s the problem? Whatever it is that you did, really consider the root problem. There’s usually something deeper under the surface that we suppress, but now’s the time to bring it to the surface. Once it’s on the surface, you can’t ignore it. [Read: Healthy relationship expectations to define a good love life]

#4 Talk to him about what happened. Communication is the key to getting him back. If you really want him, then you need to talk about what happened. It won’t be an easy conversation to have, and you’ll need to be 100% honest with yourself and him. But if you are, there’s a chance you’ll win him back.

#5 And apologize for what you did. This isn’t an easy move for anyone to make. No one likes to admit they did something wrong openly. If you value and want him back in your life, you need to grow up and apologize for what you did. But only say sorry if you mean it. 

#6 Don’t try to make him jealous. Oh god, I don’t even want to talk about this. You posting pictures with other guys or when you’re on a night out with your friend isn’t what you need to do when you’re looking for ways on how to win a guy back. You don’t need to make him feel jealous. But you should apologize and have a genuine conversation with him.

#7 Don’t use sex to win him over. When it comes to sex, it’s an easy tool to use, and one card both women and men try to move past a situation. But come on, using sex to get him back is just sad. You hurt this guy, and sex isn’t going to take away what happened. You’ll need to talk about what happened, so sex will only delay the inevitable conversation. [Read: The most obvious thirst trap signs that scream “I want attention”]

#8 Admit your faults. Oh yes. You may have admitted your faults to yourself, but now you need to admit them to him. That’s right. It’s not easy telling someone you screwed up and admitting blame, but if you want a chance to have him back, you need to tell him what you did wrong. He needs to hear it from you. [Read: How to get your ex back and earn their forgiveness]

#9 Don’t beg. Oh god. I saw this happen once to my next-door neighbor. His girlfriend cheated on him and went on her knees, begging for him back. It was really quite an event to watch, but obviously, not a good look for her. Listen, whatever happens, don’t beg. If someone wants you, you won’t need to get on your knees for them.

#10 Give him more space. Did I mention he needs more space? Well, he does. After you talk to him and tell him you are sorry and want him back, you need to give him more space. Don’t suffocate him just because you said sorry. Now, he needs time to think about what he wants and whether that includes you. [Read: How to regain your partner’s trust after you’ve lied to them]

#11 Don’t play games. It’s easy to manipulate him into coming back to you, but it won’t be genuine. You shouldn’t play games and manipulate someone to get them to want you. If you screwed up, then the last thing you should do is play games. You screwed up, and now you have to wait for him to make a decision. 

#12 Avoid social media. I know you want to stalk his social media, watch all his Instagram stories, and like all his posts, but don’t do it. Stay away from his social media and avoid any engagement. Give the guy some space! When I mean space, that includes social media. Don’t be the girl who stalks him online.

#13 Work on yourself. During this time, you should continue to work on yourself and grow as a person. We all make mistakes, but what’s important is that we work on ourselves and learn from our flaws. You’re not perfect; no one is. But, you can try to be the best version of yourself. [Read: How to be a better person and continue growing into a kind soul]

#14 Know when it’s time to move on. There’s a chance he’ll come back to you, but there’s also a chance that he won’t. What’s important is when you see he’s not interested in being with you, you move on. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s really something you need to do for yourself.

[Read: 10 strong signs your ex is over you and it’s time for you to move on]

Learning how to win a guy back will require you applying these tips. But, remember, if he doesn’t want to be with you, there’s nothing more you can do.